I shivered as I clutch my jacket hugging myself to get a bit extra warm while walking through the park sitting on a nearby bench in the chilly snow weather. I pulled out my phone and bought a plane ticket back to Finland. The soonest one they had was 3 hours away so having no other choice I bought that one. While waiting maybe I should tell you my story but I also have to warn you it's incredibly sad. Anyways here goes, my name is Sauli Eerik Koskinen Lambert and this is my story.
A couple years ago I moved to Finland to live with the love of my life Adam Lambert. He was the finest most genuine man to love me whom I have ever met. It was love at first sight the minute I laid eyes on him the first time we meet at the bar in Finland and from then that was history, our history. Adam was always a kind loving gentile man until one day, it's the day that forever changed my live but I let it went by, because I loved him of course. Adam had come home right after a huge performance in Japan. As soon as he reached home he gave me a quick kiss and rushed off to bed to go and sleep off the jet lag. Know how tired he was I left him and went to make the best welcome home dinner I had ever made, boy did I went all out, took me about 2-3 hours to make the 5 different things which consists of mashed potatoes, baked beans, pasta, my family's special secret gravy sauce, which took the most time and finally the best stake I have ever laid eyes on.
I set up two plated on the dining room table and went off to find Adam sound asleep. I went onto the bed and told him I made dinner smiling all proudly of myself. Adam was still sound asleep so I shook him and told him again which he then mumbled that he's sleepy and tired and some other thing which I couldn't understand. I begged him to wake up so we can dine together but then he said something unexpected which broke my heart, he said, "piss of Sauli I am trying to get some fucking rest around here." That's broke my heart, in my final attempt I pleaded with him saying how hard I tried and mid sentence I felt a sharp smack across my face and got a death glare from him, then he turned and went back to sleep. Shocked I went downstairs to the dining room and ate my meal crying softly as I clutched my face, little that I knew things were going to get a lot worst than that.
That was the first time Adam had ever laid hands on me, the next morning he work up and apologised to me and like I said because I love him so much I accepted it. After the course of some time it kept happening again and again minor slaps turned into punches and punches turned into slammed up against the walls and pushed down the stairs or choked until I couldn't breathe and every time he apologised and I accepted it because I loved him so much. This went on for years and years not only were the abuse physical, it was also emotional which I found to be the most painful. Harsh words thrown at you coming from the one you love could be the most painful ting I have ever experienced and I have been through a lot.
When I thought it couldn't get any worst but like all of my previous thoughts were wrong. Adam took the abuse to another level and occasionally raped me. I really don't have the strength to talk about it so I'm going to skip the details. This happened for about ten years, ten years I lived secretly with this abuse until I couldn't talk it any more. I packed a backpack with a few things and snuck out leaving my love behind while he was sleeping. I have tried many times but failed miserably which only lead to more abuse but somehow today was my lucky day, I escaped successfully and that's how I ended up here in the park sitting on the bench buying a plane ticket to the go back to my home in Finland where I would finally tell my family the truth about my love well ex-love, no still my love. You would think even after all that I went through I would have great hatred to him but no I still love him like that day we first laid eyes on each other. Well I guess that's it. That's my story. My name is Sauli Eerik Koskinen and this is my story and how I finally escape my abuser whom I still have feelings for.
