The Labours of Shinichi Chiaki
Companion piece to The Madness of Noda Megumi
A series of silly short fics exploring how the Chiaki household cope with impending parenthood and beyond.
Dedicated to those who wanted more pregnancy fluff
Disclaimer: As usual, Nodame and Chiaki are the creation of Tomoko Ninomiya and I'm just having a little fun at their expense and hers. This piece of writing is not intended to be used as parental or medical advice. It is written for entertainment purposes only.
One
A loud clang emanating from downstairs startled Chiaki Shinichi from his fitful slumber. Someone had left the bedroom door open. A groan escaped his lips as he rolled over to his bedside table and caught a glimpse of his alarm clock. Only 2:15 am. More rattling noises penetrated his drowsy stupor and shattered whatever hopes he had of returning to sleep. The thought that a burglar was lurking about the house did momentarily cross his mind… perhaps rifling through the silverware or worse still, ransacking their beautiful collection of Wedgwood bone china. Chiaki was not impressed either way. Why can't these idiots come during the day, when no one's home? And what a racket as well… what kind of ridiculously clumsy burglar makes so much noise while committing a home invasion in the middle of the night?
"Nodame… did you hear that?" He spoke above a whisper to the pillow beside him. From the pillow, however, no audible response was forthcoming. "Nodame?" He tried again.
Sliding his arms up and down the conspicuously empty space beside him, he realized for the first time that his constant bedmate had abandoned ship. What could it be this time? Was she performing her nightly ablutions perhaps? Or worse still, she was foolishly attempting to take on the burglar all by herself.
Reluctantly, Chiaki dragged himself away from the comforts of bed to investigate and checked the ensuite. Nothing. The wardrobe perhaps? Again nothing. Gradually the fog was lifting. Fatigue had been an impediment to his processing skills. It was now clear to him that she had to be the source of all that disturbance. Irritation levels were rising steadily. Shinichi was hardly impressed… his fourth night of interrupted sleep… how long was this going to go on for?
He was ready to let her have it. A tirade of the highest order that only Chiaki Shinichi could deliver with his debonair conductor poise. What business did she have making so much noise at such an unearthly hour? Eight grueling hours with the orchestra the previous day and possibly at least another eight hours straight expected the next day. Chiaki was scarcely in a reasonable frame of mind.
"Whaaat… " Chiaki stood thunderstruck and rooted to the ground for several whole minutes. To say that the kitchen was a mess would be an understatement. Pots, pans, crockery and utensils were scattered all over the bench top, sink and stove. Somebody had been cooking up a storm and the aftermath was an experiment in chaos theory.
"What is the meaning of this?" After several minutes of gaping, he finally managed to choke out the words.
"Oh husband… you're awake…" The woman at the centre of this unholy spectacle was chewing cheerfully, chopstick in hand. "I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Even the dead would've been woken up by the commotion you were making." He was in a foul mood and eager for her to feel the full force of his displeasure. To come between a man and his sleep… well, there would be hell to pay. "What were you doing?" He snarled.
She had the grace to look sheepish. "I was hungry." She mumbled. "The leftover pasta wasn't enough. So I cooked some ramen."
"For an entire orchestra?" He surveyed the mountainous pile of crockery with an expert eye.
"Oh… I also made some onigiri."
"Really? Only some…" He rolled his eyes.
"I also tried to make some gyoza but I burnt some of them. The miso turned out alright. The fried rice was better." She stated almost thoughtfully.
"You ate all that?!" Chiaki was goggled eyed.
"I am eating for two." She argued defensively.
"Yeah, for two whales." He muttered sarcastically.
"I need nourishment." was the angry retort.
Chiaki shot her a withering look. "I don't think burnt gyoza or friend rice is all that nourishing."
She huffed defensively into her chopstick. "I don't expect you to understand. You're not pregnant, are you?"
"Yeah, whatever… go back to bed now. I'll clean this up in the morning." Chiaki sighed. So much for an early start tomorrow.
"Erm… I can't…" She lowered her eyes.
"What do you mean you can't?"
"I'm still hungry."
Shinichi was flabbergasted. She's going to eat us out of this house. "What do you mean you're still hungry?"
"I need more food."
"More food? After all that?" Chiaki exclaimed aghast
Nodame nodded her head pathetically. "I'm craving for pizza." She allowed her head to drop for effect.
He looked at her utterly dumfounded. "Pizza? We don't have any pizza."
"I know…" Nodame said mournfully. "It's so sad. I can't sleep unless I have pizza."
"You must be joking."
"No joke, husband… I've been dreaming of pizza the last two nights."
"Why didn't you say something earlier? Where are we going to find pizza at a quarter to three in the morning?"
"I don't know but I know I need pizza desperately."
"There must be something else you can have instead."
"No… no… It has to be pizza."
"If I had known what pregnancy would do to you, I… I…" Shinichi was hopping mad.
Gazing at him coyly, she remarked, "It's your fault too."
"Don't remind me." said a defeated Chiaki. "Alright, alright… I'll make you some."
"Er… you can't."
"What do you mean I can't? I'll have you know…"
"We don't have any flour and I ate the last of the mozzarella and the cheddar earlier."
That instant, a vision flashed before his eyes. In mind's eye, he saw the morning edition newspaper headlines: "Conductor Strangles Pianist Wife in Rage. Pleads Manslaugter. Claims Extenuating Circumstances."
Emerging out of his vision, he noticed that she was on her knees, pleading with him. "Husband, you don't want me or the baby to starve, do you?"
"Starve? Starve?" There was more that Chiaki would have liked to have said but in the end he knew it was useless continuing this aimless discussion. You don't know the meaning of the word, woman. Why do I even bother? It would be easier just to give in to these mad whims. Nine months, eh? All I have to do is survive another four…
Chiaki grabbed his keys that were lying on the mantlepiece, wallet and coat and headed for the door. The faster I get on with it, the earlier I get back.
"Make sure you're here when I get back." He barked forcefully before taking off.
In his haste, he had forgotten to change out of his pyjamas but at least there would be his black overcoat to shield his upper body from the chill of the night. His legs… well… would be well hidden inside of the car until he arrived at his destination… wherever that was.
He drove around a 5km radius looking for a needle in haystack. He wasn't sure that there were any 24 hour pizza places to be found but it did finally occur to him, after ten minutes of circling badly lit streets, that the neighbourhood convenience stores might actually stock the frozen variety. Screaming down a normally busy main road at 100 km per hour, he stopped off at the local Seven Eleven.
"Do you have frozen pizzas?"
The sales assistant pointed to the back of the store. As quick as a flash, Chiaki raced to where the freezer was, pulled out several boxes and literally threw the money at the sales assistant. His legs were beginning to feel the bite of the cold.
"Keep the change." He said as he ran out the door and jumped behind the wheel. Finally…
Chiaki parked the car on the porch and sneaked round the back to enter through the kitchen which was now noticeably quiet. Where has that hentai got to? She's not here waiting like I instructed. I'd better get these started in the oven and then see what she's up to.
Searching through the rooms one at a time, he finally spotted her sprawled on the couch, covered with cushions all the way up to the neck. Her eyes seemed closed. She's gone to sleep? After all the trouble I went to… after insisting that she was dying of hunger… she fell asleep?
He was about to go over and give her a good shake when he heard a squeal emerge from the among the cushions. What the hell?
"Are you awake…" Chiaki could see her patting her abdomen lightly and her lips moving.
She's awake? Is she talking to me? Chiaki stood at the door bewildered. But before he could say anything, she continued speaking.
"My little one… You're quite the hungry horror aren't you?"
Me? Little one? Hungry horror? Who the devil is she talking to?
"I wonder what you look like… If you're a boy… I hope you have your father's good looks. If you're a girl, I hope you don't look anything like me."
Good grief, is she's talking to… the baby?
"You're very busy tonight aren't you… eating, kicking, punching… giving your mother a very hard time. Don't tell your father but I found all the lovely chocolate truffles that he hid on the top shelf of the pantry."
That woman… wait till I…
"I wonder if he's happy about being a father. It's hard to tell with him. He never says what's on his mind except to scold."
Really… I wonder why that is…
"He probably doesn't think that he'll make a good father because of his own father."
I have never said that… But is she right… do I think that?
"But I think he will be a great father. He takes very good care of me so I know that he'll take very good care of you too."
Nodame…
"I wonder where he is… he's taking a long time… I know, I know you're hungry… so am I."
That woman, honestly, all she thinks about is food…
"Maybe mummy should play you something while we wait… Yes, that's a good idea."
With some effort, Nodame got up and ambled towards her prized Bosendorfer. "Hmmm… wonder what mummy should play… a little Schumann perhaps…"
Years earlier, Chiaki had come to the realization that he could not resist her playing. No matter what she did or how much she tested his patience, her music always managed to soothe the beast within.
Tonight it was Traumerei from Kindersczenen… Scenes from Childhood. The simple but poignant melody transported the mother-to-be wistfully to her own childhood… Her discovery of music, then the piano… the laughter, the tears which accompanied her on her tumultuous journey. Revelling in the music, the father-to-be had only one thought… the hentai he had fallen for and married was to be the mother of his child. A thought both breathtaking and terrifying at the same time. How would we be as parents?
The piece soon came to an end. Too soon. He saw her rubbing the protruding belly gently. "I hope you liked that. Mummy knows lots and lots of pieces. So when you're sad, I will play them for you and cheer you up."
Chiaki was glad that the darkness hid him… it would be no good at all for her to see him fighting back tears.
"And when you're old enough, I will teach you to play the piano so you can cheer yourself up."
He decided that that was enough… his manhood was at stake. All this goo-ing and gah-ing over an unborn baby was… unsettling. Of course, it didn't explain why he felt strangely moved by the rather one-sided exchange that he had witnessed. Moreover, as he rationalized to himself, if he waited any longer, the pizza would become a burnt offering.
He strode into the room looking like he'd just return from his errand of mercy.
"I suppose you're not hungry now." He made a show of being gruff.
Nodame scanned his bare hands and looked over his shoulders. "Where's the pizza?"
He folded his arms and put on his most annoyed demeanour. "No hello… or thank you? Just 'where's the pizza?'… Really woman…"
Before he could say another word… she flew straight into his arms. "Anata, I'm so glad that you're back. And that we're going to be parents. Now, where's the pizza?"
Two
Chiaki was looking forward to his day off… putting his feet up, listening to a new recording of the Brandenburg Concertos and perhaps trying a new recipe. But his five months pregnant wife had other ideas.
"Shopping? What do you mean shopping?"
"I'm going to get things for the baby…"
"But why do I have to go with you? Why can't you go by yourself?"
"By myself?!… Muki.." The wife squawked. "I can't possibly carry all the things I need to get by myself in my present condition."
Chiaki grumbled under his breath. She's really milking it for whatever it's worth.
"Besides… it's the first one. Aren't you the least bit excited?" Her cheerfulness was grating on his nerves.
"Excited about shopping? No man in his right mind could be excited about shopping."
"But it's not just any kind of shopping though… We are having a baby…" She clasped her hands together joyously and did an awkward pirouette.
"Hmph… well, just don't expect me to be enthusiastic about any of this." He muttered disagreeably.
"So… does that mean that you'll come?" His wife asked gleefully.
"Only for a couple of hours." This will be like having a tooth pulled.
"It'll be lots of fun… you'll see." She promised.
Chiaki was adamant about remaining belligerent. "Putting 'shopping' and 'fun' together in a sentence is a contradiction in terms."
\
One hour into the excursion, Chiaki felt himself more amenable about the entire ordeal. Surrounded by cuteness galore, the normally stoic conductor gradually succumbed and took a greater interest in the worlds of Beatrix Potter, Sesame Street, Winnie the Pooh and Bananas in Pyjamas. He felt as if he had stepped onto an alien planet where cute was pink, blue and king. Surprisingly though, it wasn't as loathsome as he had feared.
It did not, however, prevent him from feeling like a mule… following his overtly zealous wife around the racks and aisles, saddled with her purchases, all of which she insisted were "must haves". At the back of his mind a feeling of dread accompanied him, as he despaired over the thought of the credit card bill that awaited him at the end of the month.
Lingering behind her, he took a quick glance around him. An oddly shaped toy caught his eye. He made his approach in hope of getting a closer look. As he got nearer, it became evident that the intriguing object was a piano made from suede.
"Can I help you sir?" A sales assistant had seemingly appeared from nowhere.
Chiaki jerked back in embarrassment and looked around surreptitiously. God forbid anyone should see him taking an interest in toys.
"Did I startle you sir? I noticed your interest in our new range of Lamale stuffed toys. Each one is a musical instrument… we even have a violin, a drum and a flute in the collection.
"Really?" Shinichi was fascinated.
"Yes… if you press on the keys here, it activates the music." Seeing a potential sale in the offing, the sales assistant promptly went on to demonstrate.
A million thoughts raced through Chiaki's mind. Hmmm… this could be very instructive. A baby is never too young to be taught music. The Mozart Effect, right? It's every parent's job to give their child a proper head start.
Unfortunately for the sales assistant, his interest in the infant educational tools came to a screeching halt. Elsewhere his wife gave out a loud shriek which brought him out of his reverie.
"Sorry… duty calls." He looked apologetically at the sales assistant and gravitated to where the strange exclamatory noises were coming from.
"Mukya! Isn't this adorable?" His wife gawked delightedly at the piece of furniture in front of her. A classic white French provincial style cot.
"Is this really a cot?" Chiaki cast a critical eye over the cot. "Looks more like a sleigh to me…"
"I want this one…" The wife was panting desperately like a puppy to the sales assistant hovering nearby.
Chiaki rolled his eyes. "I'm not carrying this…"
"We deliver, sir. Delivery fee is another $50. Mattress comes separately."
"Fine… we'll take it." His wife was bouncing with excitement.
Giving his wife a withering look, Shinichi pulled her away from earshot of the sales assistant. "Are you sure we should spend that much money on a bed that will only be used for a couple of years?"
She brushed off his concerns. "Nothing's too good for our baby. Besides, husband,… we can use it again for the next two babies."
"What 'next two babies'?" He looked at her as if he had been hit by lightning. What is she talking about? If she thinks that we're having anymore after this… she has another thing coming.
Before she could answer, the sales assistant came up to her. "How would you like to pay for this?"
"He will pay for this…" The young wife cheerfully volunteered her husband, who was looking decidedly grim at this stage.
"Wait till we get home, woman…" He growled through gritted teeth, while pulling out his wallet.
The sales assistant was a picture of serenity, deliberately ignoring the obvious hostile vibes that she was sensing from the male. "Please sign here sir and also could you please give us your name, address and phone number for delivery purposes."
Needless to say, Chiaki performed all his husbandly duties with a deliberate show of bad grace after this. This baby is going to cost us an arm and a leg… why ever did I agree to tag along when my opinion hardly matters?
As he piled everything into the car, a thought struck him. He excused himself curtly, saying that he had forgotten something and asked her to wait for him in the car.
What could he have forgotten? She wondered and then yawned. Baby shopping is hard work.
She lowered her seat into a more comfortable position and adjusted the headrest. Wonder how long he's going to be?
Before long, she succumbed to her morning exertions and dozed off in the car. He returned ten minutes later with a large bag which he clandestinely slipped into the boot. Noticing that she had fallen asleep, he heaved a loud sigh of relief.
Hiding this from her is going to be easier than I thought. He grinned contentedly to himself. Hmmm…Where should I put it when we get home? The safe isn't big enough… I know what… the broom cupboard… she'll never look there.
Three
Nodame was feeling a great deal of discomfort. According to the sonographer's receptionist, there was a wait of about another 15 minutes. Nature was clamouring to be heard and Nodame wasn't sure if she could wait that long. Her husband studied her face with keen interest as it turned from mildly uncomfortable to excruciating discomfiture in a space of minutes.
"What's the matter?" He whispered.
"I… er… need to go…" She returned the whisper in agonizing desperation.
"Go? Go where…" He looked at her mystified. "We just got here."
Instead of answering, she lowered her face and pointed in the general direction of the bladder.
"Can't you hold…"
"I'm trying my best, husband… but it's not easy, you know."
"How much water did you drink?"
"Er… they said to drink a litre…"
"A litre? Really? That much?"
She nodded miserably.
He slipped his hand into hers and squeezed his encouragement. "Just bear with it a moment longer."
Several minutes felt like several hours… the hands on the clock seemed to move at snail's pace. The stress on her already full bladder was taking its toll.
"Anata…" She clung on desperately to her husband for support.
"Megumi Noda…" Just then an efficient looking creature popped her head from behind the large door and searched the room with her eyes.
Nodame gingerly stuck her hand up to acknowledge the call. Aided by her anxious husband who was understandably fearful of an accident taking place in the waiting area, they managed to make their way to a darkened room along a narrow corridor without any mishaps. To her great relief, she was able to find respite on a reclining chair.
"How are you today, Ms Noda?"
Nodame was uncharacteristically mute, her mind being elsewhere. The sonographer shot her a quizzical look.
Fortunately her ever practical husband came to the rescue. "She needs to use the ladies room urgently."
The sonographer gave them both a knowing smile. "I understand. We'll do the initial scan first and then Ms Noda can… er… relieve herself. I'm going to apply a little bit gel in this area and it's going to feel a little cold."
As first time parents, neither of them knew what to expect. But seeing their unborn child on the sonogram via the transducer brought an element of euphoric unreality.
This creature is living inside of me? Shinichi and I did this?
Nodame was too awestruck for that moment to concern herself with her renal woes. "Mukya! That's… that's our baby? Gyabo…he looks like an alien."
Privately, Chiaki had to agree. Even then there was something mind-blowing about the hentai being allowed the responsibility of being host to a human life.
"You'll see the fetus more clearly with the 3D ultrasound later on. But right now, all we're really interested in is to see if the fetus is developing nicely and to check the heart rate."
"That is amazing…"
"Do you want to know the sex of the child?"
"Yes."
"No."
Shinichi looked at his wife nonplussed. "I thought we agreed that we were going to find out."
"It's unlucky to find out…" Nodame avoided his gaze and mumbled.
"Lots of people do…"
"I don't want to. I… I…want to wait." She insisted obstinately and there was something in her eyes that indicated that it was her final word on the subject.
Chiaki sighed. There was no point in having that argument with Nodame once she had a bee in her bonnet. "I suppose it doesn't matter." Nevertheless, there was an underlying tone of disappointment in his voice. He had been pouring over educational prospectuses in the past week or so in the hope of scoring a place in one of the more elite institutions. Undoubtedly, knowing the sex of the baby would have put them in a much more strategically advantageous position. Many of these schools had waiting lists longer than one's arm. I wish she hadn't changed her mind, just like that. I was so looking forward to this part of the pregnancy.
Chiaki would never have admitted to anyone that he was all agog about parenthood… it was just the thing she would use against him for the rest of their lives… but it didn't take away from the fact that he was eager to have this baby… to see him/her face to face. He didn't know what it was but there was something mystical about being instrumental in bringing about new life
But he would have to survive this pregnancy first.
"Ms Noda, why don't you take some of that pressure off your organs and we'll come back and continue with the rest of the scan ?"
Ms Noda was more than agreeable. With some help from her husband, she got off the examination table. As they took steps towards the ladies room, she turned to her husband hesitantly.
"Anata… are you angry with me?"
"Huh?"
"About whether the baby is a girl or boy…"
"Not angry… just a little disappointed."
"I thought as much… It's just that… I…"
"What is it, Nodame?" He noted the intensity in her eyes.
"I want this to be an adventure for us… if we find out… the magic will be lost. It's our first time… I want it to be special."
"I know." Her husband gave her an affectionate glance.
"These days almost everybody knows what they're going to have and everything is planned down to the last detail. I don't like that. Having a baby should have some element of mystery and fun as well."
"I understand, Nodame. You don't have to explain."
"Really? You do?"
"Of course I do. I married you, didn't I?"
Author's Comments:
I'm not promising at this stage that I'll be doing 12 of these ficlets… despite the title. ;) If you really would like to see more of this kind of stories… well, I'm going to need a lot of encouragement. ;)
If not, I'll be more than happy to move on to the next project. :D
Also my gratitude to those who reviewed The Madness of Noda Megumi here and on LJ. You inspire me, as always.
Oh... and I just realised I used the word "boot" to refer to the back compartment of the car rather than "trunk". Reason being that I'm more accustomed to British/Australian English usage.