Every knight was trained extensively, no corner, no skill was left. They were skilled with weaponry, foraging, basic medical treatment, war plans, red code and much more. But one type of training was taken very seriously, the ability to talk a lifeless. Now, the 'lifeless' was a code name for the people who stood on one of the many towers and attempted on their life. They were trained to show empathy and support.

However the importance of the training was discovered on a celebration for the 3rd month, the queen and king had been wed for. The celebrations had been waning only a few stragglers were left. The Knights of the Round Table were escorting their friends to their chambers when a commotion was heard on the highest tower, the sound of smashed glass was resounding down the vast stone corridors. They immediately sprang into action, their fast reflexes which had been hammered into them kicking up. This tower had not been part of the guards' duty tonight, the place and timing was perfect for the lifeless to strive.

Nothing, nothing at all, could have prepared them for the sight the group saw. Their friend sat on the widest ledge, a bottle of ale in his hand, many empty ones lay broken near the wall, as if they had been smashed into the stone. The moon smiled down on the sombre man, the stars twinkled and the night sky was dark and alluring, it would have been a beautiful sight, but their friend was lifeless. Merlin turned and Gwen stifled her tears when his red rimmed eyes trained on them.

"Merlin, mate, come down." Leon spoke

"Why though?"

"This isn't going to help, please come down." Percival, the soft hearted man, said with conviction.

"No-one will miss me."

"Everyone would, don't you ever think differently." Arthur spoke with fierce contradiction, leaving no argument

"But what about her?"

"Who?" Gwaine asked

"Freya."

"Who is she?" Gwen asked

"My love, my life, my lady."

"Where is she? We will find her for you, just come down." Elyan said carefully

"You wouldn't find her."

"We will search the lands high and low, but for god's sake, please, get down." Arthur spoke at a whisper

"The only way to find her, is if I launch myself off this ledge, if I touch the moon and sky, to fall to my death and meet her halfway. I wonder if her smile is the same or if she still wears the dress I gave her. I wonder every day about the 'what ifs'. What could have been…I wondered what could have happened, what could happen if…I…just…" his words were cut off as his legs were slung over the ledge. His back arched and he seemed ready to throw himself off the ledge. He flung himself backwards, laughing at the screams that emitted from his friends and then the sighs of relief that he didn't throw his body of the ledge.

He was drunk with grief, no pun intended, he was laughing hysterically and then screaming at the sky with sorrow filling his voice. He yelled and threw bottles off the edge, relishing the smashing sound, not caring about the blood staining his hands and wrists, from the broken shards. His audience watched in silence, shocked silence, unable to link the lifeless in front of them with their goofy and clumsy Merlin.

His words were undecipherable, unclear and blurred, the words they heard consisted of 'destiny', 'fate', 'overgrown lizard' and other profanities that wouldn't have been mentioned the queens presence if Merlin was in his right state. He was gripping his hair in frustration and pulling glass shards to wrist only to drop them before it could meet the skin. He was pacing, close to the ledge, wobbling and tottering in a manner which frightened the group. He had his back turned to them and he was silent for a minute, from behind he looked as though he was contemplating something, but when he turned he had glass shards embedded into his skin, near veins, not close enough for it to burst, but close enough for damage. As though the action had been practiced, they all stepped forward collectively. Merlin stopped them where they stood, as he raised a shard to his neck.

"How great would it be, to be united with ones love, to share another kiss, to love another day. How beautiful would it be to love under the sun, to kiss under the moon and to sing under the stars? How perfect would it be for death to steal me in the night, and for you to find me, blooding foaming in my mouth, skin pale as parchment and body as still as stones, but with a smile on my face, as I reunited with my love, my sweet love. I would love for you to have seen her, her eyes and mouth sitting prettily with her small nose in between. But alas it was not meant to be, alas I was meant to live, for what I know, and for that I live, for you I live. I raise my heart to you Freya, I give you my surname, a secret not given to everyone, I whisper my name to you, giving you power, giving you strength. Give me it back when you will. I live for you Freya and I live for him." His hands dropped to his sides and he walked out to room before, the people who were contemplating his words, could stop him.

Silence hang in the room, like a big elephant, it was daunting and it screamed in the minds of the young friends. Their mind were running, working at a fast speed, trying to understand what the man had said to them. The next thing they knew was that they were following him to his room. They heard Gaius talking to him.

"Here this tonic will clear the alcohol from your system, my boy, my poor boy. You can't do this, you promised you will try to stop, your magic can only heal you so much, you've been running after Arthur and saving Camelot more times than I can count, my boy, you are so important for the future of Avalon, you cannot be running around half starved and with blood running down your arms. I know tonight is the anniversary that Arthur killed the Bastet, he didn't know my boy, he didn't understand that Freya was cursed. If he did, he would have help you and you know it, you do. Son, I cannot ask you to forget her, I can however ask you to forgive yourself, you forgave Arthur so quickly, so soon, but you refuse to forgive yourself. Go to bed, have a lie in, I will inform the king."

Their minds were whirling. Magic he has magic.

*TWO WEEKS LATER*

The sun shone bright and the bell chimed ten times, singling mid-morning. Merlin ran into the room when Arthur had reached balcony, the townspeople had already gathered and the crowds were mumbling wondering what had been so important that everybody had been invited. Nobody noticed the cloaked women enter and hid behind the shadow of the King.

"My people, I have always thought my father to be a great king, and I had always respected him and his laws. What I am doing is not out of disrespect, but out of the fact that I am a different king, a king who will execute his own laws, who will be a just and fair king. For two weeks now I have been meeting with Morgana Le Fay." Murmurs of indignation broke out within the court and crowd alike. "Silence." And so they did. "After serious delegations and long talks, we have met an agreement, she promises, swears on the old religion and the court we hold, that her magic would be used for only good, and precautions have been taken into consideration. I, on the other hand, have sworn to legalize magic and provide a safe haven for magic users." He swore he saw Merlin tear up. "From this day, from this moment, I legalize magic." It started with a slow clapping from the knights to the whole crowd and court cheering and whooping and laughing. "My people, as a precaution, I ask for anyone with magic to come forward and sign the magic census, whether it is little magic, healing magic or powerful magic, I implore you to do so." Many people, their faith strong in their king, stepped forward, friends and family laughing at their obviousness to their relatives' magic. There was a whoosh and the druids had joined the ever growing crowd.

"Magic had returned to the kingdom, we feel it, we feel Emrys' joy, his tears of happiness sing to us." Confusion rang through the crowd. The tale of Emrys had been told to them when they were young, when magic thrived through the ground they walked on, but was he not a legend?

The cloaked women stepped forward, her hood revealing her as Morgana, murmurs sang, she stepped forward and signed the census and declared it open. People bowed to their lady and smiled uneasily at her, she smiled awkwardly and then proceeded to walk around apologizing to each individual and performing small magic tricks for the king. The druids had all signed the census and had made up two lines on either side of the pathway to the document, bowing at each magic user with a respectful jerk of their head.

Merlin was scared about their reaction, his friends, but he couldn't care less, he walked the pathway, and watched as every druids laid themselves flat on the ground and whispering 'Emrys' as he passed. The people of Camelot watched shocked and his friends laughed at themselves for being so oblivious. Arthur turned back to his people. "I forgot to mention, Merlin Emrys, my court sor-warlock" Merlin's eyes widened. He knew. He signed the document and turned to face the king, his eyes glowing gold, he smiled and wordlessly he made the king fall down the balcony, the king landed softly but sprawled across the stone, despite the fact he and everyone else screamed, he shot up and at the look on Merlin's face said one clear thing. RUN.

It was a sight, to see the newly promoted Warlock chasing the King and his knights as they begged forgiveness, but I suppose it was meant to be, for he was never seen on the tower ledge again, he still walked up the tower, but it seemed as if those nights his friends felt his pain, for they were already waiting, with strawberries and ale. However, the first time they brought strawberries, Merlin didn't eat one, he sobbed over them, clutching them to his heart and screaming at the stone walls. He may walk up there and watch the sunset, he might get drunk and remember her, he might still tear up a little on bad nights and days, he may have cried when Arthur and Gwen named him godfather, but he started smiling, when he kissed Morgana that one drunk night, when they sat together and mourned loss and they started loving together, the day they married was grand and the night spent together conceived their first child together, they named her Freya, the next child was Balinor, the next one was Gorlois, they had overtaken their king and queen with their children. There were still days when Merlin cried and clutched his oldest daughter to his heart, when this happened Morgana held him tight and they made love all day. Albeit, there was good and bad days, but he was never lifeless again, he never attempted on his life. He could feel Freya smiling that he found happiness, her nature always was in his little girl, the playful and shy girl always held a special place in his heart, no one could take that away, but that didn't mean he couldn't love again. And so he did. He found love and his life was once again full.

The Knights, Queen, King, Court Warlock and Lady, don't forget the children though.

"Balinor, do not try to kiss Ygraine"