Raven remembered seeing her mother crying, when she thought her daughter was somewhere else.
It was one of the reasons she pushed herself so hard, and why she bottled up her emotions into a mirror. She couldn't allow herself to feel as much pain as her mother had.
Her mother had cried herself to sleep most nights, broken over her treatment at Trigon's hands, and of the men that had followed in an attempt to get rid of the hurt.
She had taken the treatment out on Raven at times, screaming hateful things at the young girl.
She had thought herself in love with one of the monks who'd become a regular visitor at Raven's home. He'd broken Arella's heart many times, and she kept coming back to him for more.
The men hadn't just come for Arella. Some men had tried for Raven, young as she was. Her powers had sent the men to the infirmary, making her even more feared than she had been before.
The young girl had vowed then. "If that is what loves does to someone, then I vow never to fall in love."
She had liked a boy in sixth grade, when she was twelve. He'd attacked her in the alley on her way home, despite her people's pacifist policies.
Now, she never left the sidewalk, and always kept people around her.
She never took risks anymore. If she did something, she knew the consequences of what it did.
When she first made it onto the Titans, she didn't trust her team mates. She never knew when one of them was going to betray her. She was proved right when Terra betrayed them.
She remembered when Beast Boy had called her creepy, and she'd retreated into her room.
His pointing it out had hurt more than anyone could imagine. After all, she like Beast Boy.
She knew better than to cry. Crying let others know that she could be hurt.
She didn't ever smile, either, but at times she faked peace with her life.
Her heart has never been broken completely though. How can you break something completely when it is not complete?
She'd learned not to lean on anyone. Not after her mother. She'd watched her mother die, on the inside, when she'd thought herself alone.
Some nights, Raven had been woken by her mother's cries, knowing they were only a part of the sorrow her mother felt.
Her mother had relied on little Raven to keep her sane.
Raven had been so young. It had broken her to pieces.
Now, Raven herself cried in her sleep, experiencing the pain from a broken heart. Terra may not have her memories, but Beast Boy loved her anyways, passing Raven over.
Raven just wanted to forget, just wanted to leave everything behind.
She couldn't let others in, because she didn't know how. She was ashamed of how empty her life was. She was afraid.