As I step into the safe shelter of the woods, I breathe in that grounding, real forest essence. It drags me back down to earth, reminds me of the world I'm actually living in. In the woods, everything seems real again.

Of course I'm grateful for the life Alexandria has provided me with. That day, when I saw Mom's corpse , lifeless and bloody before my eyes, I instantly just gave up hope, I knew I couldn't keep going by myself. If those runners from the Safe Zone hadn't found me, I'd be dead now too, or worse, a walker.

I thought it impossible, that a life like the one I have now in Alexandria could exist. One with plenty of food, shelter and security. I guess that's why I feel so uncomfortable still, it seems too good to be true.

They've accepted me so easily. Especially Ron and his family, they made sure I was eating, that I got to sleep every night. Ron did all he could to make sure I was okay, even tough I was rude and didn't talk to anyone for the first few weeks. He was so so kind to me, it was more than I deserved. When he asked me to be his "girlfriend" I couldn't really say no, after all he's done for me. I regret it now though. As much as I like him. He's too much of an idealist. He doesn't fully understand the dangers of the world outside those walls.

Lately I've been having bad feelings about the place, like something bad will happen and we'll have to leave. If it does, I don't know how long Ron or his family would actually survive out here, I'm not really sure how long any of the residents would survive and I don't intend to stick around and watch them all perish before me.

This new group however, that's a different case. I believe Alexandria has made a lot of us weak, and even that new kid Carl can see that. He's very curious to me. He's obviously lived through a lot, and I think he's very knowledgeable about this world, maybe even more knowledgeable than I am . And to be honest, that scares me. He gets what's going on out here. He's probably the most real person my age that I've encountered since this whole nightmare began. However if his group have survived that long out there, I'm afraid that they're the kind who will abandon somebody for being too weak or injured, leaving them to fend for themselves rather than slow the rest of them down, and I've had enough experience with one of those.

I know that Carl will probably follow me into the woods today, just like he has been every other day. I just want to know why. Today I might actually confront him. As I walk through the woods, dead leaves crackle beneath my feet. I could stay out here forever.

I can't imagine that Carl's group will stay at Alexandria for much longer. They're too different from everybody else. I mean found it hard to adapt too, but you learn to adapt to anything when you're on your own. This group are surprisingly too close. They're going to get out and just in time too. I probably should start thinking about it aswell.

When the virus first broke out, Mom and I accidentally found ourselves in a forest like this. The leaves were a bit greener maybe, but we had never been forced to live in the outdoors before. I, being so young and naive , was so reluctant to sleep in a tree that first night. I had screamed and cried to my mother, demanding to return home. I knew things were bad when Mom didn't listen to me, she just did anything she thought would keep us alive even if I wasn't happy with it. She always looked like she was about to break down and cry, but she always managed to keep herself together. She was so strong because she didn't have any other choice, if she had given into her emotions we probably would have both died. I guess everything I know today, I learned from her.

My thoughts are suddenly disrupted by the sounds of footsteps nearby. I sigh and hide behind the thick trunk of a tree. It's Carl, for a person who's been surviving outside for so long, you think he'd know how to be quiet.

"Carl," I call out. "I know you're following me, again. And you're going the wrong way."

Why am I even speaking to him?

"You knew?" He asks, his tone horrified.

"You're very loud," I tell him, maybe he'll learn from it.

"Can you go back?" I ask. I don't really want him to find me. "To be honest, you scare me."
"You shouldn't sneak out by yourself," he replies. "Two people just died."

I roll my eyes and sigh, before deciding to face him. I step out from my small piece of protection, "Come on!" I retort. "people always die, you know that."

I'm standing before him, he's wearing that cowboy hat. What's the deal with that anyway? He's looking around him cautiously, like we're in some great danger. "We should go back."

"Why?" I ask. Doesn't he know that we're safer out here than back inside those walls? In the forest, there are no restrictions.

Before I know it we're frolicking through the forest, in some sort of childish manner and after distracting a zombie with a timer I stole from the safe zone, we're sitting at a log beside a hideout tree I found some weeks ago, catching our breath. Adrenaline still rushing through us. It's such a rush, I could stay out here forever, I wonder if he feels the same.

"We're supposed to be out here," I tell him, "We're supposed to feel like this."

It's something I realized a long time ago. "I don't want to forget," I admit. "And running makes me feel better."

The people in Alexandria try so hard to make themselves believe that everything is okay but I don't want to. My Mom died out here, she died so I could live. If I was to fool myself into thinking our world is safe, it would be dishonouring her memory, and the memory of all those tat have died along the way, my friends, the rest of my family. My mother did not die in vain. Maybe there is light at the very end of a long tunnel but until we find it, I'm going to keep struggling through, just like my mother wanted me to I'm not going to disillusion myself.

"I can't forget about it," Carl admits. "I dream about it, being in the forest, with them."

So I'm not the only one. I look at him, properly for the first time. He may only look like a kid , like me, on the outside, but I know behind those tired, hurting eyes of his, there's somebody much older.

"I do too," I tell him. I hear him breathing beside me, studying me like I have studied him. We've more in common than either of us probably initially thought, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I got to know him. Besides, it would be probably be a good thing to find out more about his group. If they're getting out and I find that I can trust them, or at least Carl anyway, maybe I could go with them.

"Ron's a good guy," He whispers, lightening the conversation. I didn't realise he knew, Ron probably told him, like he tells everybody.

I smile, thinking about the over-eager guy back behind those walls. "He is."

"Does he know you come out here?"

"No," I sigh, shaking my head. "he wouldn't understand." I couldn't even begin to explain to Ron what being out here means to me, what it feels like. He's too naive and inexperienced. Not that I can blame him, if my mother had had the opportunity she probably would have kept me sealed away from this monstrosity too.

While I'm reaching into my bag, looking for Mom's bag Carl asks why he scares me. "I don't know," i answer, smiling. it seems stupid now, seeing as we're so alike. "You just do."

I begin to carve into the log to my right, making sure this knife still works. It's the only weapon I have, if it comes to a point where I'm going to be left to end for myself again I have to know it'll protect me. I still don't know how I managed to hide it from them when they admitted me into the safe zone but my mom saved my life countless times with this knife, I'm not prepared to lose it.

"Cool knife, " Carl comments. As he does, i wonder how many walkers he's actually killed, how many people for that matter. There's look about him, as there is with all of his group, a look that less than half of the residents of Alexandria have, the look of a killer. I have it, just like my mom had it. After you make at least your second kill, because usually your first is a mistake or you just don't now what you're doing, you begin to change. You get tougher, stronger and you realize exactly how dangerous the world you live in is.

"It was my mom's," I tell him quietly.
"What happened to you?" He inquires. "Before you got there."

I've been asked this question more times than I can count and I haven't told the full story to anybody. But this time it's different, I almost want to tell him. But I know I can't, not yet anyway.

"It doesn't matter," I answer him finally.

"It does," He replies sincerely. "I know, it's something that has happened to me too."

I look at him, I've noticed he came here without a mother. Did he have to watch his die in front o him, just like I did? Does he actually feel the same pain? I suddenly want to open up to him, tell him everything and find out what happened to him too.

But the moment is interrupted, like all moments are, by the disgusting and increasing sound of zombies groaning. We both automatically stand up, ready to fight or to run. "We should go," Carl states, I can hear fear in his voice. "It sounds like a lot."

Killing zombies isn't actually my thing, but I unexpectedly find myself gripping my knife tightly. I suspect Carl has no weapon of his own and I really don't want him to get hurt.

I act quickly and lead him into the hollowed-out tree , where I've taken shelter plenty of times before. It just happens to have enough room for both of us, but we're in a tighter, closer position than I should be comfortable with. I somehow know that Carl wont hurt me though. We watch in silence as about a dozen or so zombies stumble pass, my eyes widen, it was more than I expecting.I can hear Carl breathing heavily, as though he's scared. I permit myself to exchange gazes with him. I suddenly realise I'm shaking slightly, I'm frightened too.

His breathing gets louder, heavier as we look at each other. He slowly and carefully moves his hand, and touches mine. His touch is soft, gentle and warm, but most of all it's understanding. I know in that moment, that he gets it. We get each other, and understand each other's pain. We'd make a good team, we'd keep each other safe. Suddenly I find myself wanting nothing more than to hold his hand back. He abruptly pulls his away, and I smile.

"Cool," I whisper in his ear, "You're scared of me too."

We wait in the tree as the zombies continue to shuffle past. Our warm breaths combining. I catch him smiling at me and I can't help but smile back. Though we're only a cough or a heavy breath away from being sniffed out and killed, I've never felt more safe than in this moment.

Hey! Thanks for reading, I haven't published anything in along time bt I do have a lot of different things that I'm working on. I'm toltally obsessed with the Walking Dead at the moment, and I love Carl and Enid, I'm so surprised there isn't anymore fics about them! So I just decided to write this short drabble from Enid's point of view, if anybody has written a fic with these two characters whether it's on this site or another, please link it to me, I'd love to read it.

I can wait for the season finale, and I really hope they don't kill Enid off, it would be so nice to see Carl have a romantic interest and I think he and Enid share so much in common

I kept this as broad as I could , seeing as we still have to learn a lot more about Enid and who she was before coming to Alexandria, I hope myself she's pat of the Wolves/ Whisperers, that'd be pretty badass. I hope to write another Carl/Enid fic after the finale. Let me know what you think!