Lonely Runs Both Ways
The world is lonely when everyone in sight (or out of sight) is oblivious. People called her the oblivious one. They all believed she lived in a fantasy land where fairies and sunsets continuously dance over a watery horizon. They believed her head was so high up in the sky that if she looked down she would see the white feathery tops of storm clouds and that she could delude herself into thinking that they were incapable of producing lightning. She wasn't oblivious. She saw everyone and everything in excruciatingly painful detail. Their pain was her pain. Their joy was her joy. And their loneliness was her loneliness.
Draco Malfoy wasn't oblivious either. He could see everything too. He could see what he was becoming, and he shuddered away from it, like any person with a conscience would. But to him everyone was happy. Or perhaps not happy. To him, everyone was living. They were continuing with their lives the best that they could under the uncertain reign of the new ministry and the uncertain lifespan of their family members. They took blessings, like living, for granted. They were content behind the fear that never left their faces.
What Draco felt could never be confused with living. He felt fear above everything else. He would lose no matter who won the war. The inescapable ink on his arm would seal his fate as a Death Eater. The small seedling of doubt about what he was doing that was rapidly sprouting in his mind would seal his death as a blood traitor. Just below fear, he felt hopelessness. He heard that hopelessness was like walking around a room filled with thick smoke without the ability to see anything or feel anything but the smoke without the hope of finding one's way out. He felt like he was trapped in fog. The dark smoke doesn't allow sight. The fog let him see happiness on the other side of the room. The fog also let him see the mile long chasm between him and what he wanted. Instead of the comfort of not feeling, he was stuck staring wistfully across the chasm, knowing it was unattainable, watching it dance jeeringly so far out of reach. Not a hope in the world.
While Luna Lovegood was stuck in the cellar of Malfoy Manor she mostly felt exhausted from watching Mr. Ollivander sleep and watching mold grow. She spent a lot of time forcing her bleary eyes open. She didn't want to miss anything. But the parts of the stone floor blanketed in dust were so soft that she usually gave in before she could decide that she wanted to fight to stay awake. The dust was so contrary to the unnatural sterileness of the rest of the mansion. It must have been left to grow dirty just for the prisoners now contained within its walls. Bellatrix was the first to visit her in her prison. It made Luna happy to see someone smiling, even maliciously like her. She put on her best dreamy expression and asked her how things were going above ground. Ms. Lestrange naturally said that everything was getting rather dull upstairs and that she always found the "house guests" to be very entertaining.
Luna felt the pain from the Cruciatus Curse just as anyone else would. She seized up and fell to ground, her head rebounding sickeningly off the floor. Lights flashed in front of her eyes, bright and beautiful. She saw them as stars, and this filled her with hope. When Bellatrix hit her with the spell again, she laughed like she hadn't laughed since her fourth year at Hogwarts, when she was a part of the DA, when she felt like she belonged and had friends, when she felt stronger than Voldemort himself. The Death Eater standing over her was Neville helping her up after hitting her with an unbelievably strong 'Expelliarmus'. Ollivander was a sleeping threstral with its leathery wings folded back and its stomach full of the raw meat they had just finished feeding it. The room was the forest floor, and there were fireflies dancing over orchids budding up a tree that cast shadows from the stars she saw all across the room. It was unbelievable. And she had hardly been happier than when she was being tortured after that.
Draco spent the holidays at home just like every other year. Every room besides the drawing room was decorated with elegant holly and bottled fairies. The Dark Lord wasn't particularly fond of the holiday and so the room he spent his time in remained untouched by the false cheeriness of Christmas decorations. The ceiling in Draco's bedroom resembled storm clouds that were producing little crystalline flakes like the blizzard going on outside. They disappeared before they reached the top of the canvas. Never a hope of reaching the ground. He spent the vast majority of his time sleeping with his hangings drawn pretending that the outside world didn't exist and failing miserably.
Everyone he saw looked miserable. He only saw his father three times since he'd arrived. The Dark Lord was still displeased with him for all of his screw ups. And so Lucius Malfoy spent all of his time doing silly little inconsequential jobs for their most revered house guest. His mother tried to see him as often as she could. But that wasn't very often because she was single-handedly trying to keep the place running smoothly with its constant rain of Death Eaters. Even Aunt Bella looked miserable. Apparently the Dark Lord wasn't in a good mood after the escape of Potter in Godric's Hollow. He had taken to torturing anyone who entered the room. And Bellatrix just couldn't stay away from him.
He had to leave the sweet isolation of his room on Christmas Eve. Everyone gathered in the Dining Hall to eat the overly extravagant feast freshly prepared by the house elves. The Carrows were in the middle of a thrilling story of how they alone had been able to 'set straight' a group of second years. Then a most peculiar sound reached the ears of the silent people on the other end of the table. It was laughter like he hadn't heard for months (maybe years at this point). A melodious tinkling sound that was so out of place with the guffaws of the idiots he was dining with. He froze letting his fork fall back onto his barely touched food. Everyone was quiet for a second while the giggles coming from underground grew louder and wilder. A few of the Death Eaters groaned before returning to their conversations. Narcissa turned pale white. The same color she looked when Lucius left the manor or when Ollivander's screams were emitting from the cellar.
Draco was asked by his ever-loving aunt to come down and acquaint himself with the prisoners after dinner. He followed her like a good little Death Eater. They entered to see the old man dozing unpeacefully in a corner, but the girl looked wide awake. She was threading something onto pieces of—her hair? She was humming Christmas carols and laughing completely unaware of the two of them entering. "Lovegood?" She looked up false surprise in her smile.
"Oh! Bellatrix! Draco! I didn't hear you come in. How is everything going upstairs?" she asked most cheerfully. Draco stared in shock. What was Looney doing in his cellar? Why did she look so happy? Why had she pulled out strands of hair to put weird purple stuff on it?
"You were the one laughing earlier." He was puzzled. She had always been strange and cryptic though. She nodded somewhere between twirling. She was tying the hair around her robes that she had hung on the wall. Her cork necklace and radish earrings were hanging from the collar and sleeves. Her own little Christmas tree.
"I heard you celebrating. Is it Christmas already?" She turned around to smile up at Bellatrix. So sweetly. Only she could be unphased by his aunt's cold stare. She turned her head to look at Draco, and her smile lowered a little, and sadness invaded her eyes. Luna was one of those people who weren't afraid to stare at people's eyes. It was just really uncomfortable to stare back. Her gaze just looked so pitiful right then. "You must look more malnourished than I do," she said softly.
"Hold your tongue, girl," Bellatrix intervened. "Crucio!" Luna fell over against the wall. She didn't laugh this time. Draco greatly disturbed her. "Oh, I thought you'd be happier today. It is Christmas you know," she taunted her. Luna felt like crying just then. "All alone for the holidays. No friends. No one to care. Poor, poor little girl." She threw her hair in front of her face between shaking with pain. Just in case a few tears escaped. Draco watched stunned through the whole thing. She wasn't laughing now.
Neville would always be a tormentor. The threstral flew away. That's what wings are for. She didn't have wings. She could never leave. The fireflies were all burnt out. And the orchid was wilting, spilling all of its wondrous color onto the cold stone floor. Everything looked dead and separate. And Luna was alone. Totally and completely alone.
They left. They went back to the fairy-lit halls and sunlight. And Luna was alone. But so was Draco.
A/N: Written by Sorina DiMai. Because I was bored, and I was very excited about Harry Potter coming out.