It can drive one to the point of insanity over time... as with me, looking out the dark window at night, watching the rain beat on the window, almost as if to symbolize myself currently. I'm dark and cold now, not how I used to be... and the depression just pounds harder, making my wretched heart feel worse ever day, hour, minute, and second.
I'm wrong. Perverted. I don't deserve to waste the air of this earth. Why should I be here? Looking for my future? My love? A family that could form? That's a laugh. Look at me. A freak of nature. A mistake. People are not supposed to be as I am. It is wrong and twisted. Against nature and against many religions. Yet I cannot help it... and it tears at me.
Love... love will never be there for me. My future is wasting away from the way I am, and I would never have a family. Why should I continue? What hope do I have to go further? There is not future, and no hope. I am not like Takeru, the Keeper of Hope. I no longer have that light inside to guide me. It burned out long ago... and it is not able to be relit. I am not Kari, able to keep it going from being the Bearer of Light. My crest is no longer useful in this case. I tried to consider it to keep myself going, but it finally gave way. I don't have the strength or will to keep it up anymore. I do not have love. I do not have a future. I do not have any will to go on.
...Which is what persuaded me to write this letter. I do not want you to wonder what caused me to do such a thing, I won't be a mystery any longer.
I am what many would call, "a fag", I have found out. For years I have known, ever since near the start of our first adventure in the Digital World. I set eyes on another boy and fell in love. A love I have not been able to shake for the last six years. And I'm giving up now. I can't take it any more.
Taichi Yagami, the Keeper of Courage, six years to this day, was pulled into the Digital World, leading a misfit group of young children.
And that same Taichi Yagami set eyes on the Keeper of Friendship, Yamato Ishida, and fell in a love that would never leave him. A love that was wrong.
Now, the courage is drained. The other crests still burn strong, but courage has been drained to it's life's end.
Life's end.
I am usually not one for writing well, or thinking well, but I believed that my words to you in this letter should be somewhat powerful.
Whoever finds this note, show it to Yamato Ishida as well...
Yamato, I'm sorry. And I don't blame you if you don't go to my funeral. I'd be disgusted with me if I were you, too.
But I still love you...
The young Yagami boy, now 17, folded the note he had taken ages to write out to the full extent of his talent, clenching it in one fist. It was August first, the sixth aniversary of their adventure in DigiWorld.
The boy had lived with a tormented mind for six years now, gradually sinking further into severe depression as time progressed. He looked around. Agumon was sleeping soundly, his parents were out on vacation, and Hikari was over at a friend's for a sleepover.
He had been plotting it for nearly a month now, making sure it would work properly.
One last look to his window at the blackness otuside of the rain-streaked windows was enough to make his decision. He wasn't thinking of stopping, it had simply persuaded him to right then and there. He walked to the bathroom, grabbing the entire bottle of Tylenol and shoving them down his throat in sets of 4 until it was totally empty.
Morning set over Japan, spilling through the windows.
A knock came to the door of the Yagami household. After no answer came, the person repeated the action. And again. Finally, they reached for where they had always been taught the family hid the key, under the doormat. Opening the door, a blonde the same age as another looked around. He knew the other was the only one going to be home... and his shoes were still at the door. He set down the book which was the reason of him coming over--Taichi had accidentally left it at the other's house.
He searched to see if the other was there--knowing Tai, he would still be asleep.
When he reached the bathroom, he gasped.
Taichi Yagami lay dead on the floor.
The blonde of course dropped, searching for a pulse on his best friend. But after finding none, he noticed the paper held in the other's hands.
He carefully took it, opening it. With watering eyes, he understood what was being said. "Oh God Tai..." he choked.
He took the other's cold hand into his, now crying.
Yamato Ishida had lost the one he had always considered to be the love of his life.