In the blink of an eye Adam found himself in a bar, sitting next to What's-His-Face Angel Dude, who appeared to be equally confused. They glanced around the room and occasionally looked expectantly at one another before either of them spoke.
"What the fuck?" Adam finally said, "Did we just, like…Apparate?"
Angel Dude blinked a few times before responding.
"Well, no, you can't really Apparate other people to a specific location. I'll double-check the Lexicon though."
Adam stared for a moment, furrowed his eyebrows, and turned away.
"I repeat. What the fuck?"
"Jeez, I'll explain the fuck to you, calm down."
Adam and Angel Dude both spun around, a task made all the easier by the spinny bar stools. They now faced a rather vertically challenged fellow, presumably another angel.
"What do you want, Gabriel?" Angel Dude growled.
Not knowing his name is looking to be a potential problem. Adam thought.
Gabriel smirked.
"What do I always want, Castiel?"
That worked out!
"Sadistic amusemen– oooh, okay. Right." Castiel sighed, "What theme will we be enjoying today?"
"Well, see, I was on another one of my Nyquil benders, watching the CW…"
"Christ." Castiel groaned, head falling into his hands.
"…and I was thinking how much fun those Two and a Half Men guys seem to have…"
"Fuck." Adam mumbled.
"…but so do the people on Cheers…"
"Cheers isn't even on the CW! It's on the Hallmark channel, weekdays, after The Golden Girls!" Castiel yelled, apparently insulted. Adam refrained from an exaggerated sigh, followed by a "Really?"
"…so I thought it would be fun to do Two and a Half Men, but in a bar. We all own a bar together and get into all sorts of wacky hijinx."
"But you guys aren't men!" Adam said, hoping this would work but not expecting it to.
"No shit," Gabriel said, "That's why we're gonna be Two and a Half Angels."
"But I'm not an angel!"
"You're sure into anal, aren't ya? I mean, anal. What else would you suggest? Two Angels, a Bastard, and a Bar?"
Adam paused.
"Fine, alright. But does it really have to be a bar?"
"What do you have against bars?" Gabriel and Castiel said in unison, looking at Adam like he'd just admitted to being a meth-addicted nymphomaniac.
"I mean…surely there are better places." Adam looked to Castiel, who was shaking his head, eyes widened in panic. Adam ignored this and faced Gabriel again.
Gabriel grinned.
"Well, if you ask nicely, we could do this in some apartment complex where everyone's fucking, or a private New York prep school where everyone's fucking, or a Beverly Hills high school where everyone's fucking, or…"
"Okay, jeez! Fine! I don't even wanna think about fucking either of you." Adam said. Castiel looked slightly wounded; but then, he always did.
"Excellent!" Gabriel chirped, "Let's start getting ready, we open in four hours!"