It was four o'clock in the morning and Danny Castellano was still up cleaning the mess that his party guests had left behind. Damn Morgan and his grandmother's chicken wings, he cursed as he tried to rub away the oily residue left on his wall, where a chicken wing had hit after Morgan had tossed one to Mindy and missed.
Damn Mindy, he thought not for the first time that night and his movements increased in vigor. He burned with restless energy, making it impossible for him to go to sleep.
It always came back to Mindy. She dominated his attention at work and now he couldn't stop thinking about her while he was at home. Tonight had been a disaster, but mostly because of how the evening ended, with the scene her prostitute date had made and then their hostile exchange outside. He should be hurting over his break-up with Alex. Instead, he was stewing in anger and frustration with Mindy.
He wondered what she had told Alex tonight. Ever since Gwen had let slip that Mindy called him a "handsome jerk", he had wondered what she told her friends and lovers about him. He wasn't a jerk. Brendan Deslaurier was a jerk. Did Mindy tell Alex he was a jerk? Did she share with Alex all the stuff he had told her about Christina? Had she and Brendan laughed over how he had been such a fat kid? Would she be telling all her future lovers about his unhygienic use of a wash cloth and how he could barely make it through the first few notes of Fur Elise?
His arm began to ache and he stopped, stepping back to scan his wall for any more oily stains. Satisfied that he was at least able to return that part of his apartment to its immaculate state, he made his way to the kitchen. He started the monotonous job of loading plates and glasses into the dishwasher, his thoughts straying back to Mindy.
He couldn't understand how Mindy could be such a mess and yet act like she was way too good for him. How could she keep falling for one douche after another? It was as if she were completely blind to men with good qualities. She had never fallen in love with a real man, a man's man, who would protect her and cherish her. A man who would help her grow into a better person, who would bring out her good qualities that often were overshadowed by her shallow interests. A man who would accept her quirks and embrace her lovely full figure. A man who would never make her feel so bad about herself that she would have to resort to hiring prostitutes. He scowled as the memory of the male gigolo kissing Mindy came to his mind.
She was oblivious to good men, he was certain. Good men like him, for instance. He was a great guy but all she saw in him were his flaws - his clammy hands, his dandruff, his crappy piano-playing. He distinctly remembered her telling him that she had no interest in his "weird" body. She rolled her eyes at his work ethic and never acknowledged his accomplishments, like that time he made thirty-eight pull-ups in the office. She had even once described him as a selfish lover, when they had never been intimate! Not only was it embarrassing to hear her say that to the couple asking for his sperm, but it also brought back memories of the moment he had confronted Christina about her affair and she had coldly informed him that he never completely satisfied her in bed.
Mindy regularly insulted him to his face. She made fun of him behind his back, he was sure of it. He felt his chest tighten at the thought. It was strange because he had only felt this intense emotional mix of hurt and betrayal twice in his life. The first time had been when his father had left. The second time was when he had found Christina with another man.
He had itched for a confrontation ever since he saw her kissing Deslaurier at the hospital on her birthday. When she had first arrived at the hospital, she had rushed to his bedside and accosted him with a stream of wonderful, tender words. When her hands caressed his face, his heart had jumped to his throat and he had been unable to properly respond for a few seconds. They usually traded barbs and he was rarely ever on the receiving end of the sweet, caring side of Mindy. If they hadn't been surrounded by their coworkers, he probably would have let the moment linger. He had been gripped by an insane urge to lean forward and taste the sweetness of her lips. But, of course, that moment was broken as soon as Mindy had learned the truth about his accident. The moment had made him feel giddy though. He hadn't realized how much he hoped for their fledgling friendship to blossom until he himself was doused with reality not long after, with the sight of Mindy and Deslaurier together.
How could she call herself a friend when she had been going behind his back this entire time? She lied to him several times about Deslaurier, only coming clean after he had revealed that he knew the truth.
For the past months, she kept luring him to open up to her, lulling him into false sense of security whenever they were alone together, making him believe that he could trust her with the shameful and hurtful memories of his past and maybe even his heart. But then just as quickly, she would use her knowledge of him to stab quickly where he was most vulnerable. Wasn't that exactly what she did tonight, when she turned Alex against him?
He had waited to get her alone. When she finally came out of his apartment, all pretty and confident despite making a fool of herself in front of his guests, he just snapped. How could she not feel any remorse for her actions? How could she be so damned judgmental of him when she was the one at fault for the entire disaster of an evening - including the fact that she had forced him to have a big party when he hadn't wanted to throw one in the first place?
If Parker hadn't interrupted them, he would have ripped into her more. To what end, he didn't know. He honestly did not know what he wanted from Mindy.
With the last plate loaded, he shut the dishwasher and started it. Exhaustion finally settled in and he wearily turned off the lights in the living room and kitchen before heading to his bedroom.
As soon as he entered the room, he remembered how he had found her reading by his bookshelf earlier that night. He groaned and walked to his window to draw the curtains shut, remembering how Mindy had excitedly remarked about his view. Despite his best efforts, she had successfully infiltrated his most private spaces. As he sunk into his bed and began to slip into unconsciousness, other memories flitted through his mind unbidden.
Mindy in his shower, confiding in him in close proximity, the smell of her perfume overwhelming his senses and eradicating all his defenses.
Mindy under her bed covers, weeping over the embarrassing public break-up with her cheating boyfriend, the sound of her muffled sobs breaking his own heart.
Mindy at her apartment, changing in front of him without a care, the sight of her lacy bra almost unraveling him.
Mindy on the examination table, softly moaning as he struggled to be professional with her breast exam, the feel of her soft yet firm -
Danny Castellano was fast asleep.