AN: Heyyyyyyyyy. So, first story in a LONG time. I don't know why I started writing again, I was just really bored I think. I wasn't planning on posting this, but I thought, why not, it's not like I'm going to do anything else with it. So, I apologize for the large lack of stories, however, unlike before I'm not even going to try and promise to start posting again. I'm really busy with school, so I'm lucky if I get the time to write. And half the things I start writing I don't finish. If I ever do finish anything that I think is good I will try to post it, but I not going to give you an empty promise, so I'm sorry.
But for now, please try to enjoy the story :) I'm always appreciative of comments, good or bad.
Btw, SPOILERS! There are slight spoilers in here for the end of the main game, but there are also quite a few spoilers in here for Trespasser.
Also, the inquisitor in this story is based off of my first character, she is a human warrior (if that wasn't obvious from the specialization). But, I did not actually become a Templar with her, so I'm not sure about the details of conversations with Cullen after becoming a Templar, I just made it up. Also, I have played Trespasser, but I played it with a different character. So I know what happens, and I know how it ends, but I'm not sure about the details of the relationship with Cullen in it (the character that I played it with romanced Dorian). So, long AN, but main points: I'm sorry about not posting, there are spoilers for Trespasser, and enjoy :)
There was no way I was going to tell him about this. I had chosen which specialization I wanted to pursue, and what I chose wasn't going to make him happy; becoming a Templar. He knew the pain caused by the lyrium, and he knew the addiction it caused. Now I would experience this, and he would probably hate me for it, but I had to do it. I needed the extra advantage for the upcoming battles. But the question is, should I tell him before I take the lyrium, or after? Either way it won't be good. If I tell him before he'll try to convince me to not do it, if I tell him after he'll be mad at me for not telling him earlier. I think I'll tell him before I do it, but not long before I take my first dose of lyrium, so he can't convince me not to.
I'm scared to tell him, I don't want to; I love him too much to lose him.
-Time Skip-
Today was the day. I gathered all the materials I needed to become a Templar, so today I would tell Cullen that I was planning on becoming a Templar. I hesitantly knocked on his office door and stood there patiently waiting for a response. I had the materials I needed in a sack in my chambers; three broken philters, and twenty embriums. I hid them so he couldn't find them, and take them away from me. I had already planned for the worst.
"Come!" I heard him yell. I opened the door and walked in. Smiling, I closed the door behind me. He put what he was working on down on his desk and smiled at me. I greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and I sat on his desk. "So, did you just come here to tempt me, if so, it's working." He smiled again and kissed me. I kissed him back, but pulled away soon after; I needed to get to the point.
"So I had something I wanted to tell you, it's pretty important," I said. He grabbed my hands and smiled again.
"You can tell me anything."
"Well you know the trainers that we got to help train me? Well I've chosen which specialization that I'm going to choose, but I don't think you'll like it." I paused and looked at him before I continued. "I've chosen to become a Templar." I looked at him again when I finished talking. He looked taken aback and let go of my hands. He placed a hand over his mouth and moved away from me, turning around and looking out the window. I stood up and walked over to him; I didn't say anything or do anything I just stood there next to him. I glanced at him to see if I could tell what he was feeling by his facial expressions. His face seemed tight, which would lead me to believe that he was angry, but then his face relaxed, and he looked puzzled, or maybe he was thinking. He removed his hand from his mouth, and I could see a slight frown. He didn't look at me when he talked.
"Why would you want to do that? You've seen what I've been through, why would you want to experience that yourself. The lyrium consumes you, why would you willingly accept that?" He quickly said, finally glancing over at me when he had finished his sentence.
"I need the power to defeat Corypheus, and of the three powers offered to me, becoming a Templar seemed like the best option. I'm sorry, but I need to do this." He stood there silently for a minute. After sighing he finally responded, and turned to me.
"I trust your decision, and I'll help you, but you need to know this won't be easy, and it will cause you great pain," he said and kissed my cheek. He smiled slightly and went back to his work. I left the room and went to the trainers. I was ready to do this. I knew the consequences, but I knew it was the best thing to do. I would have Cullen there to help and support me. He had been through Templar training, and knew how to get through it. I wanted to do this on my own, but I knew that I had support if the situation became bad.
-Time Skip-
It's been about a year since I became a Templar. It's been hard. The lyrium was overwhelming. A day without lyrium was excruciating. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and the only thing that could extinguish that fire was lyrium. Without lyrium my mind got very hazy. I couldn't think; the only thing I could think of was the lyrium. Many of my limbs felt numb, but I could still move them perfectly fine. I was lethargic, but also angry at the same time. Nothing could suppress the need for lyrium. I wanted to do the same thing that Cullen did and stop taking lyrium, but it seemed impossible. I now knew the hardships that Cullen went through when trying to stop his lyrium addiction. It was so hard to even go a day without it, let alone the rest of my life without it.
He was always there when I needed support or needed advice. He was very helpful throughout my first year of being a Templar, I still remember the first time I tried going without lyrium. I wasn't prepared for the pain that lack of lyrium caused, and he was there to help me. I spent almost the whole day inside that time. I spent it in my room curled up on my bed. I had locked my door, closed the windows, and drew the blinds. I curled up in the middle of my bed with the blanket over me. The pain was too much. Why did I ever do this? This was the biggest mistake of my life. I heard a knock on the door, which sent a pain through my head, I already had a headache and that made it so much worse.
"Go away!" I yelled. My head stung again. I gripped it and curled into a tighter ball.
"Can I please come in?" It was Cullen's voice. He was the last person I wanted to see me like this. However, I knew that he could help me because he has been through this. I slowly got out of my bed and made my way to the door. I unlocked it, but didn't bother opening it. Instead I just made my way back to my bed. I leaned against the wall at the head of my bed. I hugged my knees as I heard the door open. He locked the door behind him and walked over to my bed. He sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders, bringing me close to him. I could feel his warmth, and I don't know how, but it made some of the pain seemingly melt away.
"You tried going without lyrium, didn't you?" he asked, looking at me sadly. I nodded slightly and rested my head on his shoulder.
"I wanted to be like you," I said weakly. He smiled and kissed my cheek.
"It's not something you can do on a whim; it takes a lot of training to get to the point that you don't need lyrium. I can help you get to that point, but it's hard to do, and it will cause you a lot of pain, more pain than starting to take lyrium causes. But you can do it, I know you can." He smiled again, and I smiled slightly as well.
"Thank you Cullen. I love you," I quietly said.
"I love you too." He leaned in and kissed me. We broke away from each other after a few seconds and smiled. I kissed his cheek and got out of my bed. I went over to where I kept my lyrium kit. Sighing, I opened it and took my daily dose of lyrium. I walked back over to my bed, and took my place in Cullen's arms again and fell asleep. I really loved him. He was always there for me, and I could trust him with everything. He would always be there to support me, help me, and most important, love me. I don't know what he saw in me, but I'm glad I could call him my lover.
-Epilogue-
About two and a half years after my first attempt to go lyrium free not only had we defeated Corypheus, but we had suppressed the Qunari attack as well. The Inquisition was still intact. Solas was still out there, and we still have yet to find him, but we will, soon enough. In the meantime, our main goal was peace keeping under the order of Divine Victoria. I could no longer go out in the field and fight. I was lacking an arm, and could no longer wield my sword. But I was still inquisitor, and I would help as much as I possibly could.
Cullen and I had gotten married during the events at the winter palace. We stayed at Skyhold, and controlled the Inquisition's forces from there. Not long after we got rid of the Qunari threat, I found out that I was pregnant. Our first child was a boy, and we named him Alistair, in honor of the king that had saved Cullen's life from Mages during his Templar days. After having our first kid we both retired from the Inquisition, letting Divine Victoria decide who would fill our positions. We moved into a small house in Kirkwall; Cullen's hometown. Varric had become the ruler of the city, so he was able to give us our house, and provide Cullen and I with jobs. A few months after we moved to Kirkwall I was finally able to stop taking lyrium. Cullen helped me the whole process, and with his help it was fairly easy to stop taking lyrium. I'm so glad I have him in my life, I don't know how I would have done this without him.