A/N: I just watched tonight's episode and thought I should do a fic off of the scene when Ziva watches Tony get on the plane. I truthfully cried when he got on the plane and Ziva didn't and knowing that she's not going back like AT ALL makes it worse! I like screamed when they kissed and cried right after thinking that, that might be the last time that we get to see them together and now I'm rambling. Sorry. Onto the story!

Disclaimer: If this was mine I would have persuaded Cote not to leave the show and let TIVA happen on the show instead of when she leaves. Plus TIVA would have happened sooner.

…

Ziva's P.O.V…

I watch as the plane takes off taking the man I love back home. I will miss him like crazy but I have to do this alone. "I love you" I whisper to the thin air as my tears stream down my face making it harder for me to breath. I turn away once the plane is out of sight and make my way back to the house where I was born. I hold in the rest of my tears, the tears that I rarely shed until I get through the door. I lean against the door and slide down against it.

Feeling the strength to get up I stood up, losing my balance a little and making my way to the room that he stayed in just for a few nights grabbing the shirt he left on the bed and taking off mine, slipping on his. I make my way out to the couch and start to dial Gibb's number. It took a little longer than usual for him to answer. "Ziver," I hear on the other line. "Gibbs," I say making sure my voice isn't shaky and trying to make it sound like I was holding in tear. "I am not coming back, at least not right now. I need to sort something's out. Get my life on track again, start over," I tell him. I hear a barely audible ok in response. "Tony is on his way home," I tell him trying to make small conversation.

"I know," Gibbs tells me "I also know he lied to me," He adds after a second. "I did not want him to let anyone know he had found me," I say barely able to keep my voice from shaking. "But you do not want an explanation," I say knowing him too well. "Yep. I'll call you when Tony lands safely. Take care," Gibbs tells me letting me know the call is almost over. "Thank you, and you too," I tell him and pull the phone away from my ear and hitting end. I breathe out a breath and let the tears fall once again.

That was the hardest goodbye I have ever made in my entire life, harder then saying goodbye to my sister and my brother Ari. To my father and mother and it was all because he was still alive and breathing. Waiting for me to get my life on track. Waiting for me to come home.

"You loved him," I heard someone say from the door. I look up to see Orli standing at the door. "How did you find me?" I ask her instead of answering her question. She's a little blurry but I can still see who she is and know her voice. "After Tony found you, I followed him," She tells me. "Yes I loved him, but that does not mean I will go back to him, at least not yet," I tell her and wipe my eyes that keep spilling out tears.

Tony's P.O.V…

As my plane leaves I keep my own tears subsided not going to let them fall knowing that I'll see her soon. I watch as she turns into nothing and then turn to what I had written on my pad. I stare at the I Will and try and think of what to put in under it. Not coming up with anything I give up and start to think of the times of me and Ziva had, had together. When one memory starts to go on replay, I finally let a tear fall and look out the window. "I love you," I whisper to the clouds that are still visible but are dark. Making me think of death.

"Are you okay sir? Can I get you anything?" one of the stewardesses asks me. "A beer," I tell her needing it after leaving the woman I love to put her life on track and start over alone. It's what she wanted but I know that I shouldn't have left her. After I finish my beer I fall asleep.

Memories of Ziva and me still on my mind. That ride on the plane that I spent sleeping were full of Ziva filled dreams. Dreaming of us getting married, having kids and growing old together. By the time I wake up we're landing and I realize that I'm a full country away from her.

…

A/N: Ok I know I had one of these at the start of this but I just decided that I'm going to end it there and leave it for another chapter. Oh and I decided not to make this a one-shot! Writing this brought tears to my eyes thinking about the tiva that might now never be.