I've been off-line for a long time, and I know I haven't updated any of my other fics, however, I haven't had a computer in nearly six months, and I've recently become rather bored with the Naruto fandom. I may or may not continue my creations some time, however, I'm not promising anything.

Feel free to take some of them and continue them yourself, by the way. I really don't care, just make sure to give credit so you don't get flamed. That way I don't have to deal with you suing me.

In any event, in more recent news, I've gotten into the -Man fandom. It is truly an astounding series, and so, I would like to make my contribution to it.

This is definitely not the first fic that I've written for this fandom, but it is the first one that I've typed up. It is also the only one that could even remotely be labeled as crack-like. The rest are all still sitting around on pieces of paper waiting to be digitalized properly.

Those poor unfortunate souls.

But all of that is beside the point.

The point right now is that I have written you some story, and I hope you enjoy it.

Bon voyage, mis amis.

Power of Insanity

Chapter One:

Desperation Breeds Escape Routes

Allen Walker always knew that the Black Order was crazy. He didn't really see a problem with that before, since he never really considered himself to be all that high up on the sanity-scale either. However, even he knew that there was only so much craziness that could be allowable before things start going wrong.

That point had by now long since passed by on a little go-cart while showing off its ass and yodeling like a Scottish priest taking a dump.

Allen walked passed little clumps of people who either smiled at him encouragingly, or sneered at him like he was the scum on their shoes.

The smiles bothered him. He was used to the sneering, but the smiles... the smiles freaked him out.

It was like this every time he walked around the Black Order Headquarters these days. While the exorcists busied themselves with saving the world and shit when they were out on their missions, when they got back to HQ, all of a sudden, everyone was divided.

All because no one could agree with whether Allen himself was a heretic and/or possible traitor to the Black Order.

Allen found this accusation highly amusing. Not because they were spot on, or because they were in any way right (it was true that he held the 14th's memories, they had that part right – the rest was a load of proverbial excrement, though). Rather, he was amused because he knew that if people didn't stop arguing about whether he was a bloody heretic, he was probably going to become one just so he didn't have to listen to anyone go on about it any longer.

Okay, so maybe amused wasn't the right word.

Irritable would have fit much better, if he was honest.

Speaking of living up to the wrong people's expectations, he had just passed by yet another argument of his traitor-status.

If he passed by one more god-damned fight, he was going to –

Allen rolled his eyes as he didn't even get to finish his mental threat before he passed by another one. Right. His eyes filled with determination as he stalked off, snatching Timcampy out of the air as he passed the golem by, before finding a secluded place and dialing a number.

He waited for a moment before a person on the other end picked up.

"Hellooo~ This is Kamelot residence, Road Kamelot speaking. What can I help you with?" came the oh-so-familiar voice on the other end.

Allen shivered. The sadistic little girl's voice still gave him nightmares.

"Hey, Road, this is Allen – can I talk to Tykki for a moment?"

"Ah! Allen! I've missed you~" The girl said, far too happily in his opinion. Then he heard her voice suddenly change to that of a spoiled pouting child. "Why do you want to talk to Tykki? Why not me?"

Allen sighed, mentally rolling his eyes at the girl's mood swings. "Listen Road, if all goes well, you'll get to talk to me as much as you want very soon, so could you put Tykki on the line please?"

"Really? Yay~! Hold on, I'll go get him!" Once again, the girl's voice was sounding far too happy in Allen's opinion.

This didn't bode well. He could feel it.

Well, no sense in stopping now, he thought, hearing the phone being picked up lazily on the other end.

"Oi, boy, what's this I hear about you promising Road something? The girl's bouncing off the walls like she only does when she gets the best present she's ever had. What the hell did you say?"

Allen sweat-dropped at the distinct lack of any real concern in the other man's voice, despite his words. He decided to ignore that and just ask for what he came for, so he could be done with this.

"Tykki, I need you to kidnap me."

"..." Allen could practically hear the other man raise an eyebrow on the other end. "Oh? Well, I certainly haven't heard that one before."

Allen grimaced. "Tykki, I'm serious – get me out of here! These people are nuts!"

Allen heard the man laugh. "Of course they are, boy. You weren't seriously expecting a bunch of warlike religious freaks to be sane, were you?"

Allen rolled his eyes. "Of course not, what do you take me for? Wait, don't answer that," Allen continued, grimacing as he heard the other man snicker. "Regardless, I always knew the Black Order was a little off-kilter in the sanity department – I just never realized that they completely and totally bat-shit crazy with a cherry on top."

Tykki was rolling on the floor laughing his ass off at this point – at least, mentally. "My, boy, I never knew you had such an amusing way with words."

Allen grunted. "Just hurry up and kidnap me, dammit. I'm crazy enough as it is, I don't need to be influenced by the Headless Sheeple of the Black Asylum for the Mentally Challenged. Get me out of here already!"

And with that, he hung up.

Tykki held the phone in his hand for a moment and stared at it, face completely blank. "Headless . . . Sheeple . . . of the Black Asylum? Where the hell does this boy come up with this stuff?" Tykki snickered to himself, and the snicker became a chuckle, before devolving into a full-fledged laugh as he thought about that title a little more.

He wiped a tear from his eye and decided to get to business. He had a (now most likely deranged) little brother to rescue.

After all, he couldn't possibly ignore such a heartwarming request for assistance, especially when the boy practically begged for it.

And anyways, kidnapping people was fun. Even if Allen didn't struggle, his so-called "friends" probably would.

This should be entertaining.

Tykki made his way out of the front door, idly wondering if Allen's acquired insanity could possibly ruin his poker skills any. Nah. The kid was already crazy when Tykki first met him, he doubted a little more insanity would do anything to his card-sharking abilities.

It would probably even make them better than they already were.