Murder Attempts
I know I should be working on The Jealous Type, but I have writer's block, and came up with this, so...
I don't own Harry Potter, Twilight, Wizard of Oz, Aladdin, or any other references used in this story.
Harry walked up to Voldemort, confident that he had found a solution.
"Well, well, well. Finally showed up, have you, Potter?"
"Yes. I'm here. With backup!" he cried, tossing a bucket's worth of water onto Voldemort.
"Why aren't you melting?" he asked, pouting "Okay, I should have known not to believe a talking lion! Stupid Draco Malfoy... Ok, I've got your nose? No, you already knew that. How about... If you are what you eat, then you're a unicorn!" he exclaimed, trying desperately to find a way out.
"That won't work on me, Potter. Avada Ked-"
"Wait! Um, would you like to talk it over with a cup of tea?"
Voldemort froze, midlaugh, and stared straight ahead.
"Ha! I don't need fanfiction writers to tell me how to stop Voldemort!"
"Potter. It is not you that worries me." Voldemort said gravely. Harry turned around to see Cedric and a plain looking red eyed girl. Cedric was sparkling like someone had cast a shimmer spell on him.
"Cedric?"
"Who's Cedric?" The girl standing next to Cedric asked in an American accent.
"I am Edward Cul-" he began in an American accent, before switching back to his British one. "Oh, hey Harry."
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU BOY?" Voldemort cried in outrage.
"Apparently more than once. Now Harry, I can make you invincible. Just one bite..."
"WOAH! Man, I don't like you that way!"
"That's not what I... Oh, never mind. Just eat these apples, and you'll never be sick or injured again. You know, an apple a day... Anyway, good luck."
"Thanks! Come visit your dad sometime, he misses you." Harry cried out to the retreating pair. He ate the apples his friend had given him, and began to glow.
"Now that that rubbish is done with, AVADA KEDAVRA!"
Harry remained standing and began to laugh, but then started to choke on his own laughter. Once he cleared his throat, Voldemort ran away, seeing the glow in Harry's eyes, and the sparkle of his skin. Harry had become a vampire. Neither man was ever seen again.
But one apple remained on the ground, with only one bite taken. It fell to the ground. A young blonde boy came running up, and grabbed it. Oh, his beautiful apple! How could it be treated so? He knelt on the ground, and fell asleep with the apple in his arms.