Trigger warnings: Thoughts of suicide, non-consent, child-molestation and rape, consensual sex, offensive language.
She swam laps. Back and forth, back and forth , back and forth. Her arms burned with a strenuous pain. Her legs felt disconnected from her body as the kicked through the water, her head would tilt up every now and then to get a gasp full of air. She slapped her palm on the cement and inhaled sharply.
"Good job, Ichiro-chan!" Bato-sensei smiled brightly at his pupil. Ichiro averted her honeycomb eyes.
"Thank you Sensei." Her voice was barely above a whisper. She felt the water ripple around her, her chest tighten, heart racing anxiously, the tips of her fingers dug into the cement to keep them from shaking.
"I should reward you," he purred. His hand touched her shoulder and Ichiro prevented the shudder from escaping her. She wanted to snarl at him and spit out scathing words. It didn't matter. If she did good; he would reward her. If she did bad; he would punish her. His fingers curled under the strap of her one piece bathing suit on her shoulder. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears, blood rushing to her face. She wanted to vomit. He slid her strap down, her wet arm, followed by the other, until her chest was revealing, but she just pressed herself closer to the pool wall. "Don't be shy Ichiro-chan." his hand snaked up to squeeze a budding breast. "Nothing I haven't seen before." Ichiro clenched her eyes tightly.
'Just disappear.' She thought to herself. 'Close your eyes, hold your breath, and escape.' She could feel his hands on her cold body. His hot mouth on her. She released a shuddering breath, as he turned her body around. Ichiro let her head hang back on the cement. Staring at the ceiling, she could escape.
-x-
"Just disappear," Ichiro told herself. "Close your eyes, hold your breath," She closed her eyes tightly, her breath pausing in her lungs. "And escape." She ran forward, blindly, and when her toes felt the edge, she leaped. She was falling, tumbling from the sky, and she barely opened her eyes when she broke the surface of the ocean. The waves enclosed over her head, and is tousled her body around. The world was dark under water, and when she looked up she could see the blurry outline of the sky and clouds above her. She tread gently in water, her breath still lodged in her lungs. She concentrated on the sky so, she couldn't feel the strain in her lungs. Soon the feeling became uncomfortable, then it became unbearable. She kicked her legs upward and tried to swim to the surface. Her lungs were begging for air, and the heavy feeling in her chest, the panicking thumps of her heart, the dizzy sensation in her mind; she loved it. The air escaped her mouth and water rushed in through her lungs as a reflex of breathing, and then her head broke the surface.
Ichiro coughed wildly, gagging and spitting out the water that collected in her lungs. Her lungs burned, her nose burned, her eyes burned. Everything burned from the salty, sea water that forced itself into her body. She loved that feeling. It gave her such a kick. Ichiro took deep, lung full of breath. She tilted on her back waded in the water on her back. She enjoyed the gentle push of the waves, she enjoyed the soft caws of the birds, and she enjoyed the way her pulse stuttered to a normal beat.
-x-
Kamagawa Ichiro was sixteen years old when she moved out of her house from her mother and stepfather's home. She moved as far away as they allowed her, even offering to pay her rent. She denied it, and said she would pay it off herself. She still had copious amount of money from all the swim competitions she competed in when she was younger. She didn't need their help. She didn't want it.
Her apartment was inexpensive, it was small and above a sushi restaurant, so her home always smelled of cooked rice and soy sauce and the occasional charred coal. Her apartment was styled in a studio appearance. It was one large room, with a small, but roomy kitchen, a deep closet, and a small bathroom. She had her bed placed in the farthest corner of the room, across from the bathroom. She had a small loveseat, in front of an even smaller T.V set, there was a small coffee table in the middle of that. A lamp was tucked in the corner, behind the T.V. set, and round paper lanterns hung from the ceiling. There were no pictures on the wall, no decoration. She kept the walls white.
Ichiro scanned her home one last time, before she slipped her feet in her shoes. She wore a navy blue, pleated skirt, a short sleeve, white button up, with a gray vest over it. Her new school emblem above her left breast, a green and white spotted twirled into a bow at her neck.
"I'm leaving," she said to the empty room. The room responded with silence and that was all she needed.
-x-
The new school was large, people bustling around and rushing to classes. When Ichiro glanced around the school she couldn't help, but feel a sense of loneliness. It felt like groups were already formed, bond were made and they were already knitted together. They wouldn't have room for a stranger like her.
Good she couldn't help, but think viciously. I like being alone. Yet, deep down she knew it wasn't true. There were moments when she was alone where the memories screamed the loudest, and when the screamed they loudest, she lost herself and it took her a long time before she could find herself again. Ichiro felt her throat tighten.
"Good girl."
"Let me reward you."
Ichiro shook her head, as though physically doing it would somehow scatter the memories away. Intrusive memories that haunted her. They snuck up on her, they hid in the perfect places before they pounced on her and took her down.
"Are you alright?" Ichiro flinched slightly. Her honeycomb eyes flickered towards the voice. He was tall, very tall in fact. His shoulders were broad, and she could see the stretched of muscles that rippled beneath his blazar. His green eyes were kind, so kind. She never seen eyes as soft as his. His hair reminded her of the color of drying wheat. Yellowish, but it held a warm brown tone to it.
"I'm fine," Ichiro said shortly. The boy's eyes blinked at her in surprise from her short tone.
"Ah," He gave her a bashful smile. "Sorry, you just seemed sad." He rubbed the back of his neck with an embarrassed flush.
"That's stupid." She said bluntly. "You don't know me. Don't bother yourself with me." She turned around from him and walked away. Yes, she was fine with being alone.
-x-
When school was released, Ichiro stayed behind a bit. She heard there was a swimming pool and she wanted to drown herself for a bit. She heard about the swim team, but the didn't have practice today. The sun was setting, casting a pink glow to the sky. Ichiro walked the short distance from her locker to the swimming pool. There was a fence that surrounded the pool, and when she jiggled the door it was locked. That wouldn't stop her though. She threw her backpack over the fence, and curled her fingers through the loops above her head. She jumped up a bit, and settled her feet on the chain links. She climbed up and maneuvered her body to straddled the bar. With a grin she jumped from the high fence. She didn't bother to land on her feet, she relished in the feeling of the jolting pain, the wind being knocked from her chest, the way her head smacked into the ground and it blinded her with stars. Her body ached, her heart thumping loudly in her ears. Blood was dripping from the back of her head, but she enjoyed the pain. It reminded her that she was alive.
Ichiro lifted herself off the ground, slightly woozy from the head wound, but she could care less about it. She kicked off her loafers, pulled the vest over her head. She loosen her tie, but left it on. She unbutton her shirt and tossed it aside before sliding out of her skirt. She glanced down at her body, rounded, large breasts, thin waist, and round hips. She was slender, barely any body fat from her constant swimming. There was a swelling on her hip, red and beading with blood, on her ribs was an old bruise that was now fading into an ugly yellow color. She loved her marks though; they were badges of her existence. Tucking her brightly orange hair behind her ear, she leaped into the pool. The water was an electrifying cold. It chilled her deep in her bones, and it almost made her gasp, but she calmed her body.
She wanted this to last. She relaxed her body, and allowed it to drift further down in the water. Her heart was already nervously beating her her ribcage. The water was relaxing. She liked how it surrounded her, it deafen her; it protected her. He couldn't get her under the water. Only above it did her have control. Under it, this was her home. This was her haven. Ichiro felt memories bubble to the surface like carbonated water and no matter how hard she tried to force it down, it exploded to the surface.
-x-
"Hiro-chan!" Yu smiled brightly at her thirteen year old daughter.
"Kaa-san?" Ichiro furrowed her brow at her mother that barged into her room. "What's with that face?"
"I didn't want to tell you until I was certain!" Yu said, sitting on her daughter's bed next to her. "But things have taken such a sudden and exciting turn that I can't help, but share it with you." Ichiro smiled fondly at her mother.
"Tell me." She encouraged. Yu leaned closer til her mouth was near her daughter's ear.
"Kaa-san is getting married!" Yu squealed, and Ichiro blinked perplexed at her mother.
"You're…engaged?! You're dating someone!?"
"Yes! You'll love him. I know you will!" Yu hugged her daughter tightly, and Ichiro found comfort in her mother's warm arms. "You already know him."
"I do?" Ichiro glanced up at her mother, her eyes a carbon copy of her own.
"Bato-sensei and I have been dating since he started training you when you were seven." Ichiro felt fear crawl up in her gut. Bato-sensei? No! No! It couldn't be, but while her mother chattered happily she knew it was true. Ichiro felt angry. How could her mother do this to her?How could she marry that monster?! That monster that haunted her since she was eight. That monster that whispered in her ear, that touched her flesh, that cut her mind. Ichiro wanted to throw-up, she wanted to scream.
'Don't you know who he is?' Ichiro wanted to yell. 'Can't you taste me on his mouth when he kisses you? Do you know? Do you know?!'
"I'm glad." Ichiro stuttered.
-x-
Her hands were above her head. His mouth hot on her collar bone, fingers working their way inside of her. At first he held her hands down when she struggled, but she was punished because of that. His spanks still redden her backside, and she just gave up. She felt disgusted with herself. She could hear the sounds of her wet sex, when he fingered her. She could hear his pants and deep groans. She hated the way he smelled, the way he tasted, the sounds he made, she hated the way he made her feel. Sometimes she liked it, she like the way it made her body jolted, the way it tingled and how it took her breath away and arch her back. Yet it always left her feeling with shame. She wondered if she was disgusting because she liked it. She hated how her body reacted.
"Turn around," He grunted, and when she didn't move, his hand came down harshly on sex. The smack sent a mixture of pleasure and pain that ricocheted through her body. He roughly turned her over, and pressed his body onto hers. She could feel his harden member nudged her open sex. He lifted her thighs up before plunging himself in. She pressed her face into her pillow as his finger found her clit and rubbed it hard and deep. He commented on how her pubes were disgusting, he grunted how he liked her body to look young and Ichiro pressed her face deeper into the pillow. She wanted to smother herself. She wanted to die. She wanted to suffocate herself until she passed out so she didn't have to be here. His hand pressed against the back of her neck as he pumped in her. Ichiro felt her vision tunnel just as she came around him, and then she disappeared from the world.
-x-
Ichiro's vision was blurry when she came to. She could see a pair of concern eyes, green in color and they reminded her of the color of spring grass. Her mouth tasted like chlorine, and she knew that she didn't resurface from the pool. It was the boy from earlier, but around her were three others. A blue haired boy with red glasses, a blond boy with red eyes, and a dark blue hair boy with matching eyes.
"Are you okay?" Her green eyed savior asked.
"We saw you jump the fence," he blond boy stated. "We were on the roof and by the time we got here you were in the water. You were just floating there." he was teary eyed and for some reason, Ichiro wondered why he could cry for a stranger. Ichiro took in all their fearful looks. She looked up at that boy with kind, green eyes.
"You should've left me there." His green eyes widen and he flinched back.
"You shouldn't say things like that." That apathetic boy said. Ichiro maneuvered her eyes to him. "What do you think the people who care for you say?" Ichiro lifted herself off the ground, ignoring the concerned comments from the other boys. Ichiro walked away from them, sliding on her vest and skirt. She toe her shoes on and picked up her bag.
"What would they say?" Ichiro mused. "About time."
"What?" The boy with glasses inquired, as if he misheard.
"That's what they would say. 'About time.'" Ichiro walked away from them. "Next time you see me. Leave me." She ignored their shouts and left. She didn't need people. She was better off if she was just gone. She wanted to be gone.
-x-
Ever since that incident, she was being stalked by those group of boys. Haruka, Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei. They invited her to have lunch with them, and when she turned them down they would drag her up on the roof. When she moved to walk home, they offered to walk together or encouraged her to stay with them on the swim club. They were worried, and she wondered why they were so concerned about her. She was a stranger.
"Just leave me alone!" Ichiro snarled, but Makoto smiled at her.
"It would be fun." He reassured.
"I don't want to have lunch with you losers." Ichiro tried to walk away, but his hand curled around her wrist.
"Please eat with us," He begged, green eyes sad. "I worry about you." Ichiro couldn't stop the heat that crawled up her neck and face.
"F-fine!" She blushed. "But I will jump off the roof if I hate it!"
"I'll make sure you won't." He smiled cheerfully at her. Ichiro grumbled and ripped her wrist away from him.
"Whatever. Let's just go." Ichiro said impatiently, waiting for him to lead the way. Makoto smiled at her and began to head up towards the roof.
"Isn't it against the rules to be up here?" She asked as they made their way up the staircase.
"What they don't know won't harm them." Makoto opened the door and a small gust of wind made Ichiro hold her skirt down.
"Eh?!" Nagisa grinned. "You got Hiro-kun to visit." Ichiro glowered at him.
"Don't refer to me so casually." She took a seat near Haruka, who offered her a pair of disposable chopsticks. Ichiro took it without thanks and stole a piece of zucchini in the circle of bento boxes.
"We all bring lunch and we share it." Rei commented. "Though Haruka keeps bringing mackerel and pineapple." Ichiro gave the water loving boy an odd look.
"That's a dumb combination." Ichiro jeered.
"Drowning yourself is dumb." Haruka shot back as he plopped a grilled fish into his mouth.
"Tch," Ichiro grunted. "You're dumb."
"That was a lame comeback." Nagisa shook his head and Ichiro flushed.
"Shut up you sissy-boy!" Ichiro reached over to hook her arm around his neck. "I'll noogie your head till your hair's gone!" Rei flinched back at them, shoving his glasses up further on his nose.
"Unattractive." He whispered and Ichiro and Nagisa paused their antics to glance at him.
"What was that?" Ichiro snarled, her brow pinched together in anger, lips pursed tightly.
"Your face," He said so blandly that Ichiro made a shrill sound of indignation. "Your angry face is ugly."
"You stupid fucker!" Ichiro shrilled. "I'll snap your glasses four-eyes!" Ichiro tackled Rei to the ground and made a snag for his glasses.
"Hiro-kun no!" Nagisa cried. "It's rude to break people's glasses!" Nagisa tossed himself on top of the wrestling two.
"I told you not to refer to me as that!"
"Let go of me, you ugly girl!"
"Hiro-kun, Rei-chan! Stop~!"
"Oh my," Makoto gave his best friend a sheepish grin. "I didn't expect this to happen." Haruka gave him an impassive stare. "You're right, Haru-chan. I should stop them." Makoto stood up and hovered over the trio.
"Guys, how about we just keep eating." Makoto chuckled nervously when the group ignored him. Haruka sighed heavily and stole the rest of Makoto's rice. It complimented the fish and pineapple wonderfully.
-x-
Ichiro stared up at her ceiling. It was quiet in her apartment. The lights were off, but the window was open allowing the cool, evening breeze carry the smell of rice, ocean, and charcoal wafting into her home. She could hear the muffled bustle of the sushi restaurant below her. Her thoughts kept creeping up on her. Nefarious thoughts that encourage her to do bad things. Hurt herself, to end herself, hurt someone else. She could feel the hollow feeling weigh her heart. She couldn't feel anything inside. Why couldn't she feel anything. Ichiro rolled onto her side, she curled into herself on the floor. She felt more comfortable like this. Curled into herself made her feel like she was protecting herself.
"Don't think," She reminded herself. "Don't think of him." Her mind was playing tricks again though. It kept thinking of him. She needed to get out of here. She needed a distraction. Her hand reached for her phone that was resting in front of her. She clicked on the first number in her recent call list. The phone rang once, twice and in the middle of the third ring someone answered it.
"Yes?" Makoto asked through the phone.
"I'm going to the ocean. Meet me there." Ichiro demanded, but paused a bit. "Please." The 'please' came out meek and soft, and before Makoto could say anything she hung up her phone. Slipping on her flip-flops and exited the door, not even bothering to lock it behind her. Ichiro could feel her heart beating in her ears, she didn't understand, but she felt anxious. She didn't want to be alone tonight, and this was the first time she seeked comfort. Ichiro ran across the pavement, her feet slapping hard against the sidewalk. She dodged people who pulled their coats closer to them and scurry home. At that moment Ichiro took notice in the weather. The cool breeze was becoming harsh, the palm trees stretching at an angle, the clouds were coloring the skies gray. Ichiro finally found herself at the beach, and by that time it had begun to rain. She looked around, the cold chilling her, but she couldn't really feel blood was pounding loudly in her ears.
"Please," She whispered under her breath. "Please show up." Ichiro waited and waited and waited. Yet, no one came. She glared at her pink, frozen toes and turned around to head back home. Of course he wouldn't come. It was pouring outside and the ocean was becoming angry with aggressive waves.
"Ichiro!" Ichiro paused mid step. She turned around, hair plastered across her cheeks. Makoto was running at her, waving his hand in the air, hoodie pulled up around his ears. The cold made his face red, but there was something off about him. His green eyes were kind, but distant. His face tense under his polite mask. "Ichiro sorry, I'm late. The weather was unpredictable."
"I thought you wouldn't come." Ichiro mumbled and Makoto frowned slightly.
"You asked me to come, so of course I would." For some reason that made Ichiro's heart leap in a pleasant way.
"But the rain?" She trailed off.
"It's just rain. You sounded like you needed me." Makoto's frown deepen and he placed his hands on her shoulders gently. "Are you okay, Ichiro?" Those words. She hated those words and normally they made her act out violently because she didn't want to search within her to see just how broken she really felt. Yet, when he said that all she could feel was the pressure of everything and how sad she was. She was so tired of feeling sad.
"Ah!" Makoto panicked. "Don't cry! Why are you crying!" Ichiro sobbed and covered her face with her hands. Her shoulders heaving with her sobs, her breaths came out short and panicked. "Ichiro calm down." Makoto hushed. She was becoming hysterical. "You'll make yourself sick." Ichiro wrapped her arms around his ribs and hugged him tightly. She buried her face into his chest. Makoto's eyes widen at her affection, but he didn't question it. She needed comfort and who was Makoto to deny someone comfort when the needed it.
"Hey," Makoto spoke softly. "I don't know what you're going through and you may never tell me, but whatever you're going through must be painful. You don't have to go through it alone." Ichiro looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. He smiled at so gently, so kindly, so full of care that Ichiro felt worthless. She never had the look and it made her cry harder, it made her happy. Makoto just pulled her in tightly and hugged her hard and she wanted it.
"Come home with me." Makoto looked down at her in surprise. "Its cold, the weather is bad and it's dangerous for you to go home like this, you'll get sick."
"Okay," Makoto smiled at her softly. Ichiro held his hand in hers, both of their palms cold and wet from the rain. She held it tightly when they walked towards her apartment. Makoto didn't pull his hand away.
-x-
When Ichiro opened the door to her apartment, there was an array of styrofoam boxes on her table. She smiled fondly at them. The old couple who owned the restaurant were very kind. They knew she lived alone and always left her door unlock, so when the closed up they would box all of the left overs and placed it on her small table and counters; though she knew they would make extra just to give her more. Makoto took off his shoes and socks since they were soaked.
"Let me grab you a towel and some clothes." Ichiro moved towards her small closet and pulled out a green towel, some baggy basketball shorts and a loose t-shirt. She handed them to him. "Bathroom is right there."
"Thank you." He said and took the bundle of clothes from her. While he busied himself in her bathroom, Ichiro stripped off her wet clothes and tossed them in her hamper that was in her closet, she pulled on a baggy sweater that hung low on one shoulder and a pair of dark draw-string sweats. She toweled dry her hair and began to fix Makoto a plate. She piled on some rice, a crab salad with eel roll, and a few orange slices. The miso soup she split into two small soup bowls.
"You made this?" Makoto asked and Ichiro turned to look at him over her shoulder. His hair was still damp and tangled, the shirt she gave him was a bit tight, but the basketball shorts seemed to fit him fine.
"No, the couple who owns the sushi place below me always gives me leftovers." Ichiro explained and offered him the bowl of lukewarm miso. "I would heat it up, but I don't have a microwave." Makoto took his plate of food without complaint and they sat huddled on the loveseat eating quietly. When their meals were finished Ichiro put away the plates in the sink and turned the T.V. on.
"I let my parents know I'm staying over." Makoto said, his eyes a bit nervous.
"Good, the weather is pretty bad." Ichiro said. The weather had become a full blown storm and if it got any worse it could become a typhoon.
"Yeah," Makoto said hollowly as he stared out the window. Ichiro turned to look at him. His face was tense, and worried.
"Are you afraid of storms?" Ichiro asked and as if to make a point the sky clapped with thunder, the lights flickered once before remaining off. Makoto inhaled sharply. "You are." Makoto flushed.
"Just a bit." He said honestly. The sky rumbled darkly and Makoto chewed his lower lip worriedly.
"Hey," Ichiro called out to him. Makoto looked at her, her hand cupped the back of his neck and she pulled him to her. She ignored his stammering and him pulling away from her. She pressed his face into her neck.
"What are you-"
"Shut up." Ichiro whispered into the top of his hair. "You comforted me, so let me comfort you." Ichiro's face was on fire, and she could feel that Makoto's was too. He was laying on top of her, face cradled between her neck and shoulder, his chest was pressing against the softness of her own, his legs between hers.
"Close your eyes," her lips brushed against the shell of his ear. "Think of something nice and don't breathe." Makoto found himself following her instructions. "Breathe only when you need to." Her fingers gently pet his hair. "Escape from here. Don't worry. I'll watch over you." Soon, Makoto found himself asleep in her arms.
-x-
The following day Ichiro could tell Makoto felt it was a Saturday so, he didn't really have to confront her until Monday. He ignored her calls, and politely deflected her texts. She felt irritable because of this. Nothing happened! It wasn't liked they fucked or anything so, she couldn't really understand why he was avoiding her so much. By Sunday, Ichiro was filled up with her irritation she texted Nagisa for Makoto's address and she hunted him down.
Sunday afternoon, she found herself scanning the street for Makoto's house number. The weather was much more positive compared to the last time she saw him. Her hair pulled up into twin buns, she wore short-shorts, flip-flops, and a light sweater. Finally, she found his house. She marched up to the door and knocked on it insistently. The door opened to reveal a surprised Makoto.
"Ichiro-chan?" He blinked at her perplexed.
"Where do you get off thinking you can just ignore me?" She demanded and Makoto held his hands up.
"I wasn't," He tried to reassure, but Ichiro shoved him with both of her hands and Makoto stumbled into his house.
"Liar!" Ichiro marched in and slam the door shut. "You've been avoiding me!"
"I swear Ichiro-chan, that wasn't the case!" Makoto tried to placate her.
"Don't you 'Ichiro-chan' me!" Ichiro gripped him tightly by the collar of his shirt. "Are you home alone?"
"Wha?" Makoto tried to follow her thought pattern.
"Answer me!" Ichiro shook him.
"Yes! Yes! I am!" Makoto felt nervous. He never seen Ichiro act like this before. Maybe to Nagisa or Rei, but never to him. Ichiro could feel her heart pounding in her throat, blood buzzing alive. She felt so alive near him.
"Good," She tugged his collar closer to her, and she captured his mouth with her own. Makoto made an odd sound against her lips, but she ignored it and slid her hands up his neck and furled her fingers into his hair. She pulled away from him and Makoto gaped at her. "Don't just look at me like that." She grumbled she shoved him onto the recliner in his house that his father normally lounged in.
"Ichiro-chan!" he squealed when she shoved him. "What are you-oh!" He gasped, when she sank to her knees and swiftly pulled his shorts and boxers down. "What are you doing!? Don't-Ah!" He gasped when she took him inside her mouth, her tongue swirling around the head of his penis. He gasped sharply, when her tongue slide down his shaft and she started to bob her head up and down, his hands curling into whatever hair he could grasp. His eyes fluttered shut and he relished in the sensations that swirled in the pit of his stomach. He buckled his hips and smacked the back of her throat she made an odd sound.
"I'm sorry," He apologized breathlessly, but she rubbed his thighs reassuringly and she swallowed him deeper, reaching to the back of her throat. Makoto groaned and buckled his hips again and again until he came in her mouth. Ichiro swallowed thickly and wiped her mouth the back of her hand. Makoto rubbed his face and watched as Ichiro pulled herself up from her knees. She fixed him with a stern glare that it made Makoto flinch.
"Don't ignore me again Makoto!" She snapped and turned around marching out of his house. Makoto struggled to pull his shorts up, but Ichiro was already halfway down the street. She disappeared around the corner and Makoto rubbed the back of his neck. The impact of what happened spinning in his mind. He couldn't believe that-that happened. She just knelt down and did it! To him! Why did she do it? Did she like him? Makoto groaned and buried his face in his hands. He had to see her on Monday.
-x-
Monday, Ichiro avoided Makoto until swim club. She decided to grace him with her presence after school, and when he saw her his face turned vermillion and he quickly dove into the pool much to the curiosity to his friends. Ichiro sat near the edge of the pool and watched them swim, from Rei's butterfly, Nagisa's backstroke, and Haruka's freestyle, and Makoto's side stroke.
"Open your stroke a bit wider." Ichiro instructed Nagisa. Nagisa blinked at her surprised and Gou turned to her.
"The wider it is the easier it will be for you to catch your breath, if you kicker a bit harder also it will propel you faster." Ichiro kicked her feet in the water.
"Hey it is!" Nagisa said as he followed her instructions.
"Do you swim competitively Ichiro-san?" Gou asked curiously.
"I used to." Ichiro shrugged her shoulders.
"Hiro-kun you used to swim?!" Nagisa swam over to her along with Rei and a curious Makoto.
"Yeah, I was trained professionally since I was four." Ichiro said.
"Join the swim team!" Nagisa demanded. "We could use another swimmer, especially if you're as good as you sound."
"No." Was Ichiro's short answer.
"Why not?" Rei inquired.
"I no longer swim. I refuse to swim competitively anymore." Ichiro sighed and Makoto frowned slightly.
"It would be fun though!" Nagisa whined.
"No."
"It would be nice to swim with you though." Makoto said and Ichiro blushed ever so slightly.
"I don't swim anymore."
"You should accept the water," Haruka interrupted, swimming over to her. "The water is freeing." Ichiro eyes narrowed at him.
"The water is a prison to me. I refuse to be in unless it's for the sake of an adrenaline rush." Ichiro stood up and picked up her bag. "End of discussion. I'm leaving." Makoto watched her leave, Nagisa complained loudly to Rei and Haruka watched her with calculated eyes.
"EH?!" Gou yelped. "Guys look!" Gou held up her cellphone which revealed a younger Ichiro with a blank face. "She made it into the Olympics!"
"No way!" Nagisa lifted himself from the pool. "Did she win?!"
"Apparently, she made all rounds and when it came to do the final one; the one for the gold! she just left. She ripped off her number and left." Gou said while strolling down on her phone.
"Did she choke?" Rei asked.
"No one knows. She just up and left." Gou tapped her mouth with her finger as she stored her phone away in her pocket. "I wonder what happened." Makoto frowned and stared at the spot where Ichiro once resided.
-x-
Ichiro was dancing lazily in her home. Somedays she felt sexy and all she wanted to do was slowly dance around in her sweater and underwear. She would rock her hips, sway shoulders and lift her arms above her head. Her cinnamon hair would tangle between her fingers as she whipped her head around, rubbing her thighs together. Sometimes she would play music, most of times she danced to the ocean that echoed from her windows, the chatter of the people, and squeals of the tires against the streets. It was an urban music she could dance to.
There was a soft knock on her door and Ichiro slinked over to the door and opened it wide, leaning on the doorway. Ichiro was fascinated by the way Makoto's cheeks turned red, his his hand clapping over his eyes.
"I-Ichiro-chan!" He exclaimed. "You can't open the door dressed so indecently." He stammered and Ichiro chuckled at him.
"Don't be a prude, Ma-ko-to-kun." She purred. He sure did pick a brilliant time to come over. She felt so unbearably sexy at the moment, and she really wanted to feel his mouth on her sex. She wanted him to taste her and probe her with that soft-spoken tongue of his. Makoto's eyes widen when she wrapped her hand loosely behind his neck. "Why don't you come in." She left no room for disagreement when she pulled him in by the back of his neck. Once he was safety in her home she kissed him roughly. Makoto fluttered his hands around anxiously, he didn't know where to put them or push her away. She pressed her body flushed against him and hummed in appreciation the way his muscles rippled through his thin shirt and into her sweater.
"We can't!" He pried himself away from her and escaped from between her and the door.
"Shut up, Makoto." Ichiro rolled her eyes. "I already sucked you off. The least you can do is return the favor." Ichiro loved the way her turned red from his neck to his ears.
"Return the favor!" He shouted and Ichiro shoved him on the couch to straddle his hips. She grounded her crotch into his loose swim shorts. He gasped and his hands clutched her hips tightly.
"It would be rude not to." She taunted his blushing face and conflicting morals of being rude and having casual sex. She could feel his arousal press into her, the tip of him brushing against her clit. He made a high pitch whine when she did that. Ichiro laved his neck with wet kisses and sucked ever so softly at his pulse. She pulled away just enough for her to pull her sweater over her head and off somewhere in her home. Her breasts were bare, hating wearing a bra in her home, they were large compared to one that Makoto's scene, but considering they were always hidden behind blazars, Makoto didn't really have anything to compare to. Her areolas were large, but not so much where the took up the whole breast, but a good portion of it. Her nipple hard and small points. Makoto stared at them, gaping, unaware on how to act. She took his large hands and forced him to up her. She relished in the fact that his hands were so large that they almost cupped all of it.
"Don't be rude, Makoto-kun," She crooned. "You can't just leave me like this." Makoto's breath hitched and he gave an experimental squeeze. His mind felt fuzzy, he suddenly understood the appeal to large breasts. The were soft, smooth, squishy in a fascinating way where he could never get tired of play and molding with. It also sent a jolt of masculine pride by the the sounds Ichiro would make. Soft feminine grunts and gentle mewls that he found appealing. His thumb brushed a small, pebbled nipple and her mouth fell into an 'o'. Makoto trapped it with his thumb and the side of his forefinger, she grounded her hips deep and Makoto reflexively bucked his hips.
"Such a good boy," She grunted and Makoto felt hot by her words. He kind of liked the way she called him that. Her hand snaked between the and she jerked him when her hand snuck between his clothes. She pressed herself into him, and slid her body tightly down his, her bare breasts dragging across him. She yanked off sandals, carelessly throwing them somewhere, she undressed him down to up. Slowly, carefully, enjoying the shapes and groves of his body. He was much different than Bato-sensei. Bato-sensei was a burly man despite his hobby of swimming, with large shoulders and biceps, Bato-sensei was covered in hair, his chest thick and dark than ran down his stomach into his groin. He was a bit short and stout, but still muscular from his love of lifting weights. Makoto was the opposite. He was long, and lengthy. With muscles that were sharp and smooth, not bulky and heavy. Makoto was hairless. One for being a competitive swimmer, body hair tend to get in the way. His legs were smooth, along with his chest and underarms. Ichiro never though she would find that attractive in a man, but Makoto pulled it off. She pressed an open mouth kiss on his pectoral. His length was pressing into her hanging breasts, and she teased him by gently swaying the tips of her nipples against him. Her legs loosely wrapped around his waist and she balanced her hands on his neck. She leaned back, pulling him down with her, until she was on her back and him hovering above her. She kissed him roughly and Makoto obliged her, opening his mouth for her to snake her tongue in his mouth. He liked when she took charged. One hand was on the smooth arch of her waist the other enthusiastically playing with her breast. She hiked one leg up, higher and higher, until she hooked her inner knee over his shoulder. Ichiro released her mouth from his, staring into his dilated eyes and she kept eye contact with him as she slowly applied pressure onto his shoulder, bring him down lower and lower until he was eye level with her wet panties.
"I," He stammered. "I don't know.." He trailed off.
"Don't worry. I'll coach you through it." She said huskily. "Now be my good boy and take them off." Makoto obeyed her and pulled her dark purple panties down her thick thighs and slender calves. He dropped her panties to the side of him and fixed his eyes at her sex. There was hair, but it was well trimmed and waxed to a small line above her slit. Makoto never seen a woman's vagina before and he couldn't really find the appeal. "Get to work, boy." She hooked her ankles around his neck and pulled him face first into her. Makoto made a sound of surprise and the vibrations made Ichiro 'Heh!' loudly. It was damp, with a sweet musky smell to it. Tentatively, Makoto dipped his tongue between her folds. He suddenly found the appeal. Wet, smooth, velvety, slippery flesh that was soft to the touch and sweet to the taste. There was a slight salty tang from her sweat, but it complimented it. The taste was exquisitely Ichiro.
"Lick higher," She whined and Makoto was eager to follow instructions. He wanted to make her feel as good as she did for him. His heart felt warm with just the thought. His tongue flickered higher until it found a small, engorged nub that made Ichiro arch her back dig her fingers into his scalp. "Suck. There. Oh! Yes! Ah!" She writhed beneath him, and Makoto scooped his hands beneath her and held her tighter to him. His mouth worked vigorously on her clit. "Bite." Nervously he obeyed and she squealed, hip arching so high that Makoto had to tighten his grip on her hips to prevent her from escaping. "Hard! That was so hard!"
"Sorry," He mumbled against her that made Ichiro sigh pleasantly.
"S'okay," She slurred. "Add your fingers." Makoto placed one hand on her bikini line to hold her still and his other probed clumsily until he found a small hole. "Use two fingers." His long fingers slid easily into her wet canal. He found the appeal in vaginas even more the way her body tighten around him, the flesh just as soft and slippery, but hot. So hot. He thrusted inside of her, fingers working shallowly at first before he gained more confidence and worked his finger harder and quicker, enjoying the sounds that escaped her mouth and sex. Soon her body clenched around his fingers so impossibly tight, she released a long, high sigh, and Makoto looked up to watch her expression. Her face was soft in a way he never seen before, so at ease as she crumbled under him, walls spasming around him, but body relaxing. He pulled his finger out of her, slick with her essences. He licked his lips at her taste and she watched him with hooded eyes.
"I may have to keep you." She gave him a slow, lazy smile that made his heart leap in his chest and butterflies battle within his stomach. She crawled over to him and kissed him softly on his mouth, tasting herself and Makoto on his lips. "I like the way we taste on you." she whispered in his ear and Makoto stammered something incoherent. She pressed him down with a gentle hand on the other side of the couch. She climbed on top of him, and he watched with awe filled eyes as she gripped him by the base and easily slid him into her.
"Chiro-chan!" He moaned when she sank herself onto him. It was such a wondrous feeling. The way she gripped him like that. She gave a breathless laugh.
"Chiro-chan," She huffed as she pivoted her hips back and forth, lifting them up and sliding down on him. "I like that, Koto-kun." She smiled at him. Makoto gave open mouth gasped as she tilted her head back, back pressing forward, breasts bouncing. He wanted his mouth there also. He reached up, a strong hand at the base of her back as closed his mouth on her nipple, biting and playing with it with his teeth. She grunted in approval and rode him harder, he felt a tightening in his belly and then his body tensed and he came long and hard, with her following after him as bucked into her harder and harder and deeper. She laid on his chest, drawing designs that Makoto will never know on his shoulder.
"Let's stay here like this for a while." Ichiro hummed and Makoto was more than happy to oblige her. He loved the way she felt near him.
-x-
"Idiots!" Ichiro yelled at them. "Kick faster! I want to see water splashing!" She barked at them and the boys urged their body to push.
"You fucking call that swimming?!" She snarled. "Please, a dead fish can swim better than you pathetic lot!"
"Stop being mean to us Hiro-kun!" Nagisa complained loudly, stopping his strokes.
"You're being a slave driver." Rei agreed.
"I'm helping you guys!" Ichiro defended. Makoto eyed his friends and his lover nervously.
"Uhm, how about we just keep swimming? See! Haru-chan is." Makoto suggested nodding his head to Haruka who was lazily swimming around.
"Drop the chan." Haruka demanded lightly.
"No!" Rei protested. "She's acting like she knows everything when she's the one who choked during the Olympics!" Ichiro flinched.
"Rei!" Makoto snapped sharply and Haruka watched curiously at his best friend's outburst.
"No it's true!" Rei crossed his arms.
"That's what you think?" Ichiro pursed her lips tightly. She was regretting covering Gou training session. Ichiro pulled her zip sweater over her head along with her sweat pants.
"Hiro-chan!" Nagisa gasped scandalized and Rei flushed so red her had to look away. Makoto sighed deeply, feeling a bit jealous she would strip so easily in front of his friends. She was wearing a more plain underwear set than the ones she mostly wore for Makoto that were brightly colored and all lace and ribbons. She wore a plain boyshorts, black underwear and a black bra with a spaghetti strap tank top. Kicking her shoes off she stood at the end of the pool. Stretching down she inhaled sharply. She dove in with a splash. Her kick was strong, and she propelled her body forward like a whip, her strokes were wide, her kicks strong, she was able to hold her breath longer than most, rarely lifting her head for breath. She made it to the other side in under two minutes and by the time she reached the other side of the pool it had only been five minutes and forty seconds. She lifted her body out of the pool, chest heaving as she breathed in large quantities of air.
"A-Amazing!" Nagisa shouted. "You have to join the swim team!" Rei gaped at her in surprise and Makoto eyed her warily, her hair covering her expression.
"Shut the fuck up and get swimming." She looked up at them, her expression dark and tone filled with venom. Nagisa's cheerful expression dropped and Makoto and Rei flinched back. The atmosphere was tensed. "Did I fucking stutter?! SWIM!" She screamed and they jumped before quietly swimming. Ichiro picked up her jacket and slid it on. When Makoto went up for air he noticed that Haruka and Ichiro were missing.
-x-
"Whatever you're doing you need to stop it." Ichiro paused in the swim room and whirled around to Haruka who stood there in his shirtless glory, dripping wet.
"What you say?" She snarled, but Haruka remained expressionless.
"Whatever you're doing with Makoto ends now." His dark blue eyes were sharp and firm.
"If I want to fuck your friend I'll fuck him as much as I want." Ichiro growled and took a menacing step forward.
"He likes you." Haruka told her blandly. "I won't let you use him like that. You'll just hurt him."
"He's a big boy Haru-chan." Ichiro smirked at him. "I would know."
"Makoto isn't your toy to play with!" Haruka snarled, his enigmatic facade breaking.
"Are you jealous?" Ichiro taunted.
"Of him?" Haruka snorted. "You're not a prize."
"Of me," Ichiro grinned cruelly. "Do you love Makoto, Haru-chan?" Haruka flushed and flinched back.
"Are you jealous that I get to fuck him, I get to have him in my mouth, in me. I know what he likes. Where he likes it. I know the sounds he makes." Ichiro leaned in towards his ear. "He makes such delicious sounds."
"Don't be stupid." Haruka said coldly, pushing her away from him. "Makoto is my best friend. I won't let you hurt him." Ichiro bit the inside of her cheek.
"I thought for sure you took it up the ass." Haruka flushed 's eyes glinted.
"Unless it's not Makoto you like, but another guy." She said slyly. Haruka looked away bashfully.
"Whatever," He glared at her, pink in the face. "There's something off about you. Something happened and it warped you. I won't let you drag someone like Makoto down to your level. He's better than you. You don't deserve him." Ichiro's eyes widen and she took a step back, his words physically hurting her.
"Haru-chan? Chiro-chan?" Makoto asked cautiously as he entered the room. He looked between his two precious people. Haruka' looked unfazed, but Makoto could see the anger brewing behind his eyes. Ichiro was much more obvious about her feelings, eyes wide with hurt, confusion and self-loathing. She quickly school her expression to one of anger.
"Whatever," She said lowly. "Fuck you all." She stormed away, bumping shoulders with Haruka. "Fag," She whispered harshly to him and Haruka turned his head to her, furious.
"Slut." He shot back just as quiet so Makoto wouldn't hear. Ichiro's lip curled back in a snarl. She stormed away from the room Makoto hot on her tail.
"Chiro-chan!" Makoto grabbed her by the wrist and she wrenched her arm away from him. "What's wrong?!"
"Get off my ass, Makoto!" She snarled and Makoto winced, hurt. Haruka was right. He was too good for her. "You're pathetic. All in love just because I fucked you. It was just for fun Makoto. You were just another notch. Quit being so fucking pathetic." she turned away from them, ignoring the looks Rei and Nagisa sent her and Makoto. Makoto looked down at his feet, hurt from her and Ichiro felt horrible, but he would get over her.
-x-
It's been three weeks since her alteration with Makoto and Haruka. She felt guilty that she called Haruka something so nasty. She couldn't care less if he liked pussy or dick. Hell, even she ate a few girls out in her life. Sex was just sex to her. It was a power play at times. She fucked people who were in charged of her, she fucked people who hated her, fucked people who were bad and good for her, she fucked anyone who tickled her fancy, but with Makoto it was different. She actually liked him. He was gentle and kind and beautiful. He treated her like she mattered, like sex was just a perk with her. That he was genuinely attracted her to as a person and not the wet pleasure she could offer him.
Ichiro tucked her legs close to her chest. Damn it all, she fucken missed him. She would be so bold as to say love, but love felt like something she could never have, but with him she felt like it was possible.
"Fuck everything up." She berated herself. "I always fuck everything up." She glared at her the field in front of her. Everyone was slowly heading to school. "You're flunking out, lost your friends, lost the guy, and now; now you're fucken mom's pregnant with him." Ichiro pulled at her hair. "I fuck everything up."
"You can't help it." Ichiro's eyes widen when a large, warm hand ruffled her hair. "You have a self-destructive personality." Ichiro looked up to see Makoto's soft, green eyes.
"Koto-kun," she sobbed, covering her face.
"Haruka told me what happened when I bugged him long enough." Makoto sat next to her, knees drawn close to his chest. He wrapped a strong, protective arm around her and pulled her close to his side.
"I'm sorry for what I said, to you and Haruka." Ichiro sniffled an apology.
"Yeah Haruka is a bit sensitive about his sexualtity." Makoto said offhandedly. They were quiet.
"My swim coach raped me growing up. All the time. When I did good he would 'reward' me and if I did bad he would punish me." Ichiro buried her face into her knees. She didn't want to see Makoto look at her. She didn't want to see his expression. "Over and over again he did it and then he married my mom and I couldn't escape him. That day during the Olympics he had something planned with some other coaches. I just couldn't anymore. I walked away and moved out. Now my mom's pregnant! What if she has a girl? What he does what he did to me to her? He likes little girls Makoto." She sobbed and Makoto pulled her fully into him. He hugged her so tightly, trying to steal every pain she felt. She could feel him cry on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry," He whispered. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry someone hurt you like that. I wish, I wish I could take it all away from you and give you nothing, but good memories." Ichiro lifted her face up to look at him.
"You are so good to me." She cried, cupping his face in her hands. "You make everything feel better." She pressed her forehead to his. "I love you, Koto-kun. I don't deserve you, I'm a horrible, wicked girl, but I'm going to be selfish and keep you. You can't leave me. You're mine and I'm yours. Please, Koto-kun. Let me be selfish." She clenched her eyes tightly and Makoto kissed her lightly on the mouth.
"You can always be selfish with me." He told her, lifting her to her feet. He hugged her tight and Ichiro took in the moment.
"If my mom is having a girl, I'll expose him . I have the evidence." Ichiro said. "If mom fights it, if mom can't accept it. I'll fight to get my sister."
"You should expose him regardless." Makoto said. "He shouldn't get away with it."
"I know, but I'm not brave enough." She said with a weak smile. Makoto took her hand and kissed it.
"I'll be brave for you." Makoto smiled at her with kind, green eyes that were never supposed to look at her. Never were supposed to love her, "I love you." but they did. He did and that was enough for her.
Twenty-five pages.
That's how long this is. Phew.
This originally was supposed to be a story, but I decided last minute to make it a one-shot.
So, I tried to make it as realistic as possible when it came to Ichiro's sexual abuse, being a survivor myself I mostly related to how I acted, was, and felt and I also read some books on it also.
review?