You heard right, everyone. I'm doing a story about the infamous SBF team. Even Mohammed. It will star Jesus and his Pals (lol old reference) and their battle against the ultimate evil. Don't worry though, the main boys will have an equal role, as well as several others… but wait to find out!
So, without further ado…
Super Best Friends: Attack of Satan and Pals
Chapter 1
Deep, deep in the fiery depths of hell… a lone figure stands in front of his kingdom. He watches the endless flames spewing from the lifeless black ground. The pits of lava, bubbling and spewing pillars of molten rock. The demons running about, attacking any damned soul they see. An evil grin spreads across his face.
"It's time… Just like the prophecy predicted…"
Meanwhile, in South Park…
"HEY YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS GOTTA SEE THIS!" A fat kid yells as he nears his Bus Stop.
"What, did you finally find your small penis?" Another kid sarcastically replies, causing laughter between him and two others.
"Yeah, I bet he needed a forklift to get all that fat out of the way!" Another kid in a red poof-ball hat adds, causing even more laughter.
"No, you black assholes." The fat kid retorts. "I found this on the sidewalk!" He holds up a crumpled up magazine.
"Wow, it's a porno!" A boy in an orange parka exclaimed. "Lemme see that!"
"Calm down, Kenny! I found it, so I get to look at it first!" The fat kid replies.
"Cartman, you don't even know what any of that stuff is anyway." The kid in a green hat said.
"Kyle, just for that, I'm not letting you see it. I don't want your sneaky Jew hands on my porno." Cartman replied.
"Aww, whatever." Kyle answered angrily.
Meanwhie, in The Hall of Super Best Friends…
"Jesus, stop looking at porn and take a look at this!" The Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith shouted.
"One more second… Ahh…" He got up out of the chair and followed Smith. "What's wrong?"
"We got a problem." He walked over to a computer screen, where Seaman was sitting. "Take a look for yourself."
Jesus looked at the screen for a second before a look of shock spread across his face. "That's… impossible…"
"Apparently not…" Seaman answered. "Krishna is there as we speak, going undercover to find out more information."
"Wow, sure didn't see that coming, right Semen?" Jesus asked, laughing. The other Best Friends joined Jesus in laughter.
"IT'S SEA-MAN! And this is serious! We have to think of something to do!"
"We should wait until we have all of the information available…" Lao Tse replied. "It could be a bluff for all we know."
"He's right. We should wait until Krishna returns, then we make a plan." Jesus stated. "What do you think, Mohammed?
*CENSORED DIALOGUE*
"Good idea! We should go to Heaven and get the angel army to help us fight!" Jesus exclaimed.
"Fighting is not the best answer. We should try to settle this peacefully." Buddha said.
"Shut up, Buddha, that's a horrible plan." Jesus replied.
"Yeah, go snort some cocaine or something." Joseph Smith added. Buddha shrugged and snorted a line.
Meanwhile, in South Park…
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Butters, Craig, Token, Clyde, Tweek, and Timmy all gathered around the lunch table, all gazing at the magazine. "Gee Wiz fellas, how'd you get it?" Butters asked in amazement.
"Well, with my amazing scouting abilities, I managed to spot it a mile away…" Cartman answered coolly.
"If I could spot porno magazines from a mile away, I would be so happy…" Craig said in a monotonous voice.
"TIMMEH!" Timmy said.
"Holy crap, this is even better than my Playboy magazines!" Clyde said, amazed.
"Can I see it?" Stan asked. Cartman nodded and handed him the book. Stan flipped to the middle page and stared in amazement. "Whoa…"
Just then, the pricipal spotted the magazine and the picture Stan was gazing at. "Stan Marsh! What is THAT?" The pricipal asked, shocked. She walked over and demanded to see it.
"Aww, Awwww!" Stan cried, lowering his head and handing her the magazine.
"Oh my, oh my goodness!" Principal Victoria exclaimed, while flipping through the pictures. "All of you, in my office this instant!"
"Nice going, douche bag!" Cartman yelled angrily while on the way to the office.
"Yeah Stan, this is all your fault!" Kenny agreed. "Now don't have anything to jack off on!"
"Hey, I'm not the one who brought it!" Stan yelled in defense. "This is fatass's fault!" They all filed into the office and sat down.
"Well I don't care who brought it, but I'll be phone calling all of your parents!" Principal Victoria said sternly.
"You boys know you'll have detention for a week for this, 'mmkay?" Mr. Mackey said. "Because pornography is bad! You- you shouldn't look at pornography, 'mmkay?"
"'Mmkay, Mr. Mackey, we're sorry." Stan mocked him.
"Yeah, Mr. Mackey, it'll never happened again, 'mmkay?" Kyle did the same.
"'Mmkay."
A few minutes later, all of the parents filed into the small room with angry looks on their faces.
"You're in a mess of trouble, young man!" Stan's Mom Sharon yelled angrily.
"You too Kyle! I am very disappointed!" Sheila added with equal anger.
"Butters, you're in for major grounding when we get home!" Chris Stotch shouted to his son.
"Yes sir…" Butters answered meekly.
TO BE CONTINUED…