Into You

.

I can't explain
The slowing of my brain
The underlying vein
That flows right into you
Trace of oil and shale
Penetrate the veil
Time to be so frail
It flows right into you
Right through the tomb
Below what's new
Right into you

"Beckett?"

Looking around the loft, there were still signs of her everywhere. Her scent, her presence, was still felt in every inch of this place. It could never just be his home again, it would always be theirs. Turning slightly, he found the soft glow of light coming from their – not his – bedroom.

"Beck-" His words caught in this throat at the sight of his wife fast asleep, holding onto what appeared to be one of his dress shirts. A few stray curls framed her tear stained cheeks as she slept, taking his breath away.

Confusion spread throughout his body and sank in his stomach. She was sleeping, in their bed and with his clothing, but a nagging feeling halted his train of thought. If he took this to mean more than it was, he could be setting himself up for even more heartache.

He propped his knee against the mattress to brush the loose strands from her cheekbone, even more prominent than before she had left. Knowing her, he couldn't imagine that she was eating as well as she had been when she was living here.

Probably back to the Styrofoam temple from her past life…

"Castle?"

Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed the slight movement beneath him; the gentle stir of his own personal Sleeping Beauty. Her voice was still thick from sleep as she sat up to rest her head against the headboard and placed his shirt next to her on top of the blanket.

Even sleep mused, his wife was beautiful. She tried to hold back a small smile by abusing her bottom lip, her tell that something was on her mind. He wanted to ask, he wanted to know, but he knew it wasn't the time.

"Hey," he answered, hesitation clouding his smile.

"I didn't plan on falling asleep," she sighed, her eyes dropping to her hands, regret laced within the statement. She hadn't planned on being here when he got home.

"Saving the world alone probably takes a lot out of you…" The quiet sarcasm was low, but the knowledge that she wanted to sneak in and out after all they'd been through, stung.

"Hey," she said, reaching for his hand, the touch searing his skin and fogging all logical thought. "I'm not alone."

"How do you figure? You left me, Kate."

"You're always with me, Babe. Maybe it hasn't been in the physical sense, but you're always here…" She pointed to her wedding ring. "And you're in my constant thoughts. You're my strength, my heart." She paused for a moment to place her hand against her chest, covering her heart that carried both physical and emotional trauma of her past. "I haven't stopped loving you."

"Then stay. Don't leave me again. Just stay."

"Castle." Her voice was barely audible. The words whispered as she leaned forward to feather a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I can't…"

"Please. Just tonight, then. Just give me tonight." He choked out his plea, the words gravel on his tongue; never in his dreams had he thought he'd have to beg Kate to stay with him.

His partner.

His always.

Castle murmured his love onto her skin, pulling her lips against his into a needy and desperate kiss. His pride lost in his attempt to guilt her into staying, but the knowledge that she still loved him fueled him past the point of anymore conscious thought.

(...)

Kate knew she was hurting him further by staying right now, but she couldn't bring herself to leave. She hadn't wanted to go in the first place. How could she ever want to leave this beautiful man beside her, holding her close to his body?

Her eyes fluttered closed as her husband worshiped the skin at the crease of her neck, his tongue and lips working in a way that would be her undoing, and ultimately his own.

Even so, he was careful now, so different, not like the last time they had been together before she had left. It was like he was tentatively dancing across the tightrope of her body and one wrong move would be his last. She hated that she had done this to him - to them.

"I can hear you thinking…"

Pushing back for a second, she shook her head before she moved her fingertips up to the soft skin covering his dark circles. "Babe, I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have."

"Then just be with me. Just for now. Tomorrow can wait," he said, his voice low, catching on the last syllable.

"Okay," she breathed, as he placed the palm of his hand against her cheek, running the pad of his thumb along the pink flesh of her lips before she pressed a kiss onto his mouth. The touch was soft yet powerful and when she met his eyes, she could sense he felt it too.

They both needed this.

Their hands began the delicate dance of undressing each other, souls bared and hearts exposed.

The slow movements and careful caresses highlighted the reality of their borrowed time, that the pause from their separation wouldn't last. Tomorrow would come and she would have to leave, but right now she needed him, having wanted him every moment since she walked away.

Allowing herself this moment, her own weakness was revealed, but as his fingertips ran along the notches of her spine, she couldn't bring herself to regret giving themselves this time. Every nerve ending was on fire as he moved above her, working her up in a way only he could. The way he loved her, it was magic. Time stood still as she pressed her muted sob against his lips as they fell over the edge together, clinging to one another.

"Love you," she whispered onto his mouth, before gently kissing him again, not knowing when the next time would be. He stirred on top of her with a slight smile, easing to his side and pulling her tightly against his body, like he wasn't letting go.

If she was being honest with herself, she wished he never would.

(...)

In the light of the morning, he knew she had left.

Her warmth, her body, had vacated the room, but her scent still lingered on him as well as saturating their sheets. Unwilling to turn to his side to see the empty space, the place where Kate should be laying satiated and smiling, he turned anyway, the truth unavoidable. She was gone.

Again.

Pulling fresh air into his lungs, he rolled himself over to brave the emptiness of the space. She wasn't there, that much was certain, but in her place a small cotton article was set on top of her pillowcase.

Kate had left her favorite t-shirt laying there for him.

Not for the memory, but as a promise…

She was coming back.

The End

Thanks so much for reading! I would love to hear what you thought.

xoxo

Thanks to Jo and my lovely quail squad for reading this over.