A/N: My first upload in-how long? Months? Oh, okay-my first upload in months and it's creepy as shit. I blame Vocaloid and Mukuro and Hibari-kun! With his "I'll bite you to death NOM NOM NOM". Nobody can tell me that Hibari doesn't fit!
Hibari: Detective, I will bite you to death.
D-San: Don't even joke like that; I have a phobia of cannibalism.
Hibari: *EvilSmirkFace*
D-San: Please don't torture me forever!
Mukuro: That's impossible; it's my job to plague your dreams and make you see things in the dark that aren't there.
D-San: This is why I like the morning light...
Any person in their right mind would avoid the darkest castle in Namimori. The people who worked there; idiots, pure idiots taken from the deepest dredges of the idiot gene pool. The people who dared venture too close? Victims. Masochists. Normal people noticed the appearance of the castle, the shadow in the upper window, the blood that acted as the floor molding in its inner halls.
The castle that smell of rotting, lying deep
The Last supper that will soon begin again as always.
There were hocks too large to have come from a pig. There were legs that were too thick to have come from a chicken. Plates flew in and out of the kitchen to be washed, to have the next course placed on it, and to be devoured. The chef, poor Rokudo Mukuro, was running out of plates. He would have to send Tsunayoshi to steal some more soon.
Foods on the table that no soul should ever be dared to dine,
And a woman smiling and eating them all up just fine.
What were these things? They smelled horrid. Flesh, blood; some of these things weren't even cooked. But there was one figure in a chair, eating all of these dripping, writhing things with regal grace. Her dark hair hung down to her shoulders, and her sharp metallic eyes were focused on nothing but the… "feast".
This woman was referred to as Vanika Conchita
She was once the greatest Epicúreo Señorita
Hibari Kyoya; this castle was hers*. She used to be a sampler of rich delectable food. She had the best gowns, and her visage was beautiful. She was the envy of many; she had the castle, the food, and the servants. However, she noticed that she hadn't been getting full…no, there was a large gaping hole that she just could not fill.
And then she decided to break the limits far beyond that
Now the worse food others wouldn't touch is where she's left off at.
Why did Hibari start requesting such gruesome foods? Her servants Kusakabe Tetsuya and Sawada Tsunayoshi hadn't seen anything like it. She requested people from the city. She requested people from lands across the sea. She requested hearts, lungs, heads. She was eating all of these things without thinking once. Kusakabe and Tsunayoshi would have to hold in their bile; Mukuro had a pail for just that purpose.
Always respect and honor her, pay tribute to our great Conchita
Every food that exists today, they are all made only for her
"Ah, Tsuna! Are you okay?"
"Aah? Yes, yes sir!"
It was Yamamoto's father, slaving over a strange piece of fish. It was pale, and there was barely any marbling in it. Tsuna watched as Yamamoto's father cut and cut, making thin slices, making sure that everything was perfect for Hibari's daily offering. Tsuna and Yamamoto's father were silent. Tsuna played with the shoulder stuffing that had fallen out of his shirt during one of Hibari's rampages. Yamamoto's father placed the finished offering on top of his counter, a forlorn smile on his face. It only emphasized the dark circles under his red, swollen eyes. Tsuna immediately blanched, and scrambled for the door to the once-proud sushi shop. He didn't make it, though; his bile flew out before he could choke it back down.
Yamamoto Takeshi's cold, dead body was going to be Hibari's appetizer.
I'll eat up everything, everything that's in the world
Until I feel that the emptiness inside me is gone
The poison shining a sleek deadly blue
Is the very best spice for a main course dish!
Hibari was shoving more and more food down her throat, still keeping that regal tact that she was well known for. Takeshi's corpse was more delicious than she ever could have imagined. After she finished her five course appetizer—consisting of Yamamoto Takeshi's arms, legs, and head—Hibari moved onto her five-course entrées. There were stewed kangaroo entrails, spiced leopard brains, braised swallow tails, hedgehog tartar, and a thick shark soup with essence of liger. After that delicious buffet, Hibari moved on to her dessert. Oh, god, Hibari was in heaven by the time candied mink and chocolate peacock eyes entered her mouth. The dining hall was filled with the sounds of her elated moans, and Kusakabe and Tsuna had the trying task of watching her eat these things. But there was no hell greater than having to prepare the demon's food. Tsuna and Kusakabe were once Mukuro's enemies, but they pitied him. Mukuro had tried to poison Hibari; had tried to sneak jagged shards of glass into the food. Nothing worked. Hibari would keep eating; keep eating as if Mukuro had just added salt and pepper on top to make it taste better. Hibari knew this, too. But she invited it. The particular kind of rat poison Mukuro favored was delicious.
Eating up all of every single thing to the bone
If it doesn't satisfy me, then I'll bite into plates
If it's a delicious meal, then my tongue is blissful
But wait until I decide at the end of supper.
"Sawada Tsunayoshi, Kusakabe Tetsuya."
Tsuna and Kusakabe were about to retire for the night; Hibari had paused and was staring at her empty plates. Tsuna drew in a slow, steady breath. Kusakabe had turned, his countenance reflecting no sense of worry. In reality, the both of them were trying not to wet their pants. Hibari was still hungry. Her sharp metallic glare shifted from one man to the other; from the tallest to the shortest, to the calm one to the one who was biting his lower lip while his honey brown eyes were downcast towards his feet.
"I don't believe that I'm finished with dinner."
Tsuna and Kusakabe couldn't believe their ears. Hibari wasn't full? Hibari licked her crimson lips like she had just asked for a glass of water. She had eaten everything. Bones were crushed in between her teeth, soups were slurped, and glasses of every vile drink and shot were emptied. The only things left were empty plates.
The plates.
Hibari's eyes glazed over as she grabbed a plate and crunched into it. Kusakabe visibly winced, and Tsuna had fainted. Hibari ignored their reactions and continued; she shoved plates and glasses into her mouth, and forks and spoons went down like smooth fine wine into her gullet. Hibari still wasn't full. Keep eating, keep engorging; she could have whatever she wanted! Keep trying to get full; fill the void; no more, no more! Hibari patted her lips, and adjusted the flower that sat in her hair. The lights in the castle were turned off, and only the light of the full moon illuminated Hibari's pale face. Her eyes bore into Kusakabe's; the man whom she had dragged to this castle with her. Kusakabe would do anything she said. Hibari licked her fingers, scowled, and then slammed her fist down onto the table. She watched Kusakabe jump, and her eyes narrowed in derision. It's impossible to get any strong-stomached help around here…
"Kusakabe Tetsuya, Sawada Tsunayoshi. You both are dismissed. Send my compliments to the chef; this meal was exquisite."
"Yes, Hibari-hime."
Hibari walked towards the main lobby which led to the large spiraling staircase. Kusakabe picked up Tsuna, and resolved to keep him in his room. Lately, Hibari could smell out a defenseless body a mile away.
Once again, in fact the 15th, her personal chef had appeared
He asked her the same question she always heard as he neared.
"My lady, would you please let me take some time off for a break?"
Kusakabe had to choke back a scream; "damn you, Mukuro, why would you ever ask that? Why? Why?". He had to stay strong for Tsuna, whose handsome face was marred by puffed up red cheeks and tears. Hibari had been eating her breakfast; pancakes made from frog flesh with royal bloody syrup. Tsuna and Kusakabe watched to see what she would do. Hibari looked at Mukuro, her glare reflected in Mukuro's exposed blue eye. Her face was placid, though; there was no sign of anger on her lips or on her brow. Her hands betrayed her expression and her eyes. She slammed her fork on the table, where it broke into many pieces. Kusakabe jumped, and Tsuna wrapped his arms around the taller man and screamed into his chest.
"Kusakabe Tetsuya, Sawada Tsunayoshi. You two are dismissed."
Really, what was she doing, making the same useless mistake?
Kusakabe and Tsuna didn't need to be told again; they ran. Tsuna tripped over Kusakabe, to which the taller man helped him up. Tsuna didn't have the stomach for that. Tsuna didn't have the stomach for Hibari. Tsuna cried and tried to catch his breath all at the same time; snot rolled down his cupid's bow and onto his bottom lip. Kusakabe and Tsuna took refuge in the kitchen, and listened. They heard a scream; no, a cry. Hibari and Mukuro fell into a heap in the kitchen, Hibari's tonfas in his hands. She straddled Mukuro's lap, and held a tonfa above his head.
"Any last words, chef?" Hibari hissed. Tsuna buried his face into Kusakabe's chest, to which Hibari became incensed. "Watch!"
"Y-yes!" Tsuna peeled his face from Kusakabe's chest, and the older man stared at the spectacle as well. Mukuro was clubbed to death. Hibari particularly liked bashing his skull in. Over and over. A dozen times. Two dozen. Mukuro would have liked a penny for his thoughts if he had a brain to think with. "Oh, god."
"Do something with this." Hibari commanded, glaring at Kusakabe. "I'm hungry."
"Yes, Hibari-hime."
As Kusakabe and Tsuna stripped Mukuro's headless body and threw it onto the counter. They assigned each other tasks with simple glances. Kusakabe would dismember the body. Tsuna would cook it. Tsuna wiped his eyes, but tears always returned. Hibari was becoming impatient. Her fingers were like war drums against the covered table top. Tsuna and Kusakabe were trying their best.
"Forget it." Hibari's tone was anything but pleasant. "Serve him to me raw."
"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh sweet Jesus." Tsuna grabbed at his hair, and then started to sob. Kusakabe placed Mukuro's body parts on a platter, moving unsurely. "Raw? Fucking raw, Kusakabe-san!"
"I know, Tsuna-san." Kusakabe urged Tsuna to grab the other edge of the platter, and the two started to take the plate to Hibari. "I know…"
Always respect and honor her, pay tribute to our great Conchita
Anyone that dares betray her, they will end up paying the greatest price
Hibari burped into her napkin, and then stood up. Tsuna stifled his sobs, least he bring about Hibari's wrath upon himself. Kusakabe watched Hibari walk to the staircase, silent and brooding. That wasn't good. Kusakabe and Tsuna stayed in the dining hall. Kusakabe's stomach was still twisting and turning, and Tsuna was in fetal position on the floor. He was trembling. Kusakabe noticed the stench coming from him; he had both urinated on himself and he had vomited. Kusakabe couldn't bear to see the younger boy like this. He had to offer comfort in some way he could, even if he had to slander the digested.
"Tsuna-san, Mukuro disrespected Hibari. We both knew what would happen. He…deserved it."
"Nobody deserves that, Kusakabe-san! Nobody! NOBODY!"
Kusakabe put Tsuna's head on his chest, and the boy continued to sob. Meanwhile, upstairs, Hibari got hungrier and hungrier…
I'll eat up everything, everything that's in the world
Today, the menu is to be made especially special!
The hair that's shining a sleek wonderful pale blue
Is the perfect topping for a salad hor d'oeuvres
And still Hibari ate. Kusakabe was to go out of town to gather exotic vegetables while Tsuna made a salad out of Mukuro's entrails, toes, fingers, and veins. Over the months where Hibari fed off of Mukuro's inner workings, Tsuna had become desensitized to carving corpses and preparing bloody, rotting food. Hibari noticed, too. Hibari noticed that when he wasn't pissing himself, he was actually quite handsome. He also looked delicious. Oh, so very delicious. Hibari stood up, dusted off her dress, and found her feet carrying her to the kitchen.
So…hungry…
"Tsunayoshi-kun."
"Hiiee? O-oh, Hibari-hime. I'm almost done preparing your, uhm, Mukuro cake."
"…"
Tsuna stared at Hibari, and Hibari stared at Tsuna. Hibari's fingers snaked into Tsuna's brown hair, and Tsuna felt his stomach tighten. His heart knew what was about to happen, strangely enough. Hibari licked his face; from his chin up to his forehead. Hibari pressed her body against Tsuna's, and Tsuna shivered. The shiver ran down his body, and his throat felt so dry. Without a change in her eerily benevolent expression, Hibari took a tight grip of Tsuna's head and cracked it open like a coconut against the kitchen's counter.
"I'm so hungry, Tsunayoshi-kun."
Eating up all of every single thing to the bone
If that's not satiating, then I'll eat "another"
Oh, my dearest young man, my butler standing there
Please let me no longer wonder what you can taste like.
Kusakabe returned with bags filled with fruits and vegetables. He had a rope tied around his neck, as he was dragging a corpse along that had swallowed too much lye and was now perfectly rotted. Hibari had never eaten lye before, so Kusakabe deemed it exotic enough to bring back. When he walked into the door and towards the dining hall, he saw Hibari eating—not that that was a rare sight these days, anyway. Kusakabe didn't see Tsuna anywhere. Go ahead; ask her what she's eating.
"Scrambled Tsunayoshi." Hibari seemed to have read Kusakabe's mind. "With lung and gray matter as garnish."
"H-Hibari-hime…"
Hibari shoved the rest of her meal down her throat, and Kusakabe visibly winced. Kusakabe walked towards the kitchen, and Hibari followed after him. Hibari watched the exotic fruits and vegetables leave their bags, and she smelled the lye-saturated corpse. They don't satisfy me anymore…Hibari felt an unfamiliar stinging at the back of her eyes, and Kusakabe felt the same sensation at the back of his. But his was for a completely different reason. Hibari was about to kill the man she loved; the man who came to hell with her and stayed with her until this very moment. Kusakabe was afraid of death; he didn't want to die by the hands of the woman whom he loved. Kusakabe and Hibari stared at each other, both of them wanting to shed tears. Hibari hugged Kusakabe around his waist, and sighed. Kusakabe hugged his princess and bruied his face into her soft raven hair.
"I'm hungry, Kusakabe."
Kusakabe nodded, his face grave. "Then eat, Hibari-hime."
After she ate all she did, her castle was then quite hollow.
There was no one or anything left for her to swallow
Even then, she still wanted more, even if she ate so crude
The ultimate level of the horrible-both-ways type food
"I'm hungry…"
Hibari was lying on her bed, the red covers matching the blood that she sipped from her wine glass. Kusakabe tasted delicious on the inside as well as the out; his skin was just salty enough to satisfy her. She was lonely, and this large castle wasn't doing much for her. It stunk, now that she took a deep whiff. She stared into her wine glass, and whispered into it.
"I'm hungry, Kusakabe."
Hibari thought about all of her meals. Yamamoto was delectable; he tasted like fatty tuna and nori; two ingredients that were boring by themselves but took on a completely different taste when combined with flesh. He was always a sunny boy; it gave his flesh such a smooth texture. Hibari thought about his caviar; it was a bit spicy, but only because Gokudera had been so grumpy. Leopard, kangaroo, mink, shark; all of these courses were just delicious. Tsunayoshi…his taste was one that nobody else would ever find. It was heaven; an angelic taste sent down to earth especially for Hibari to eat. God was considerate. And Kusakabe…he had the intoxicating taste called love. It made Hibari happy. Hibari saw her hand, and something in her went off. Yes…yes…YES! Why didn't she think of it before?
I'll eat up everything, every bit that's in the world
When there was nothing left, I happened to look at my hand
Just in time to save me, I thought and gave a grin
"There's still something left that I haven't eaten yet!"
Even to this day, the children of Namimori sing…
The most horrible-both-ways food is Conchita
Eating it fresh, oh yes, I don't care that I'm eating me
Now I know the taste of everything that's in the world
But now nobody will ever know what I can taste like!
D-San: *Hiding underneath her bed*
Mukuro: there are monsters under there.
D-San: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Hides in her closet*
Mukuro: An eight-headed serpent is in there, ready to tear you apart.
D-San: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SAVE ME; ANYBODY SAVE ME!
Mukuro: Kufufufufu. It's nice to see D-chan cry.
*Yes, I made Hibari a woman! I haven't tried gender-bending any KHR! characters as of yet. I think I did a pretty good job.
Hibari: I'll eat you.
D-san: OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Hides behind Tsuna*
Tsuna: Hiiiee?