Happy Halloween, everybody!
Apologies for the sucky title... I seriously could NOT think of anything better.
"I love Halloween!" announced Michelangelo for the twenty-seventh time that day, raising his arms. His plastic pumpkin shook a bit as if it was alive as well, celebrating its freedom from beneath Mikey's bed where it was typically smothered in comic books and once used souvenirs from theme parks.
"We know," said Raphael for the twenty-seventh time that day. It was a cold night and Raph wasn't decked out in what he usually wore when walking through New York. In fact, other than his typical ninja attire, he was naked. Raph groaned, a silver cloud escaping his mouth. Why did Mikey- shell, why did New York make Halloween out to be fun? Yes, he had enjoyed it when he was younger and advertisements were able to brainwash him into taking part in commercial holidays, but he had grown wise to it. Halloween was a big scam.
Seeing Mikey dance like an idiot in the hazy light of a street lamp, Raph concluded that Mikey was still living in ignorance. Leo and Don, who were walking beside Raph, glanced at him.
Mikey dropped back to join them and reached towards Raph. Raph stiffened when a finger from each of his brother's hands intruded the corners of his mouth. Grinning, Mikey lifted them up and Raph's eye twitched.
"Cheer up, Raphie. Today is the day we get to feel like we belong."
Raph shooed Mikey away and his grimace deepened. Mikey hopped to the side, avoiding Raph's hand that flapped in his general direction. The red masked turtle crossed his arms and scowled. "Yeah, I bet you feel right at home with ugly, grotesque monsters." He turned to Leonardo. "Tell me again: why the shell are we trick or treatin' when we could be taking advantage of today? Once a year, nobody screams when they see us or tries to call the army... and we're goin' around getting candy?"
"Hey, I like candy!" said Donatello.
"Raph, don't you remember why we're doing this?" asked Leo.
"Yeah, but the readers don't so you might as well explain," Raph replied as he crossed his arms.
"April is supervising some children that want to go trick or treating," said Leo, placing a hand onto Raph's shoulder. "We promised we'd help her out. You specifically agreed to this."
"I don't remember that part!"
TMNTNMT
"Hey, Raph!" said Don, placing his hand on the speaker of the lair's phone. He looked over his shoulder at the brother in question, who was watching a wrestling match on television. Raph ignored him and leaned further back on the sofa, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "April is taking some kids trick or treating tonight and she could do with some help. Are you up for it?"
Raph dug his hand into his bag of pork rinds and stuffed them into his mouth. "Yeah sure whatever."
TMNTNMT
"Oh yeah," said Raph. "I remember now." He lifted his chin. "I changed my mind."
"You're here!" April, who had been waiting under a street light, approached them. She was wearing a black leather suit and a hat with two bobbles (one on each side) which had been entirely dyed black. There were three dark purple lipstick lines on both her cheeks, and these lines rose as she beamed at her friends.
Mikey pointed. "Nice tail."
"Thanks! I had to improvise a bit because I didn't want to fork out too much cash... My costume from last year doesn't fit." April began twisted her body around, examining herself. "I haven't put on too much weight, have I?"
"You look great!" said Don. Mikey and Raph snickered, but Don ignored them.
April pouted. "You guys are lucky; you don't have to buy tacky costumes you'll only wear once a year or later sell on eBay."
"We have to put up with discrimination and wackos trying to kill us whenever possible, so I think it balances out," replied Leo. He looked behind her and realised there was a line of six children following her. They quickly spread out, three on each side of April. Each of them stared at the turtles with large eyes, moving their focus after whoever they were looking at looked them in the eye.
April gestured to the one on the far left. "This is Odele."
Odele lifted her hand and curled her fingers into her palm, washing her gaze over them briefly before turning back to April. She was wearing a witch's hat that drooped over most of her face, and a black dress that reached her toes. The hand she hadn't waved with was clutching a broomstick that had tape wrapped around its middle.
"This is Alice," said April, gesturing towards the girl next to Odele. Alice was the tallest of the lot. Her face was chalk white and the ends of her mouth were connected to her chin by red paint. She had messy blond hair that passed her shoulders, which had a black cape draped over it. Alice bared her teeth at them, grinning.
April introduced the others. There was a girl called Angie, who insisted they called her by her stage name Clara, and she was wearing a pink tutu and long rainbow socks. She waved and poked April in the elbow with her star wand, but April only winced and moved onto the others.
Jenny was a werewolf with a store-bought plastic mask that had glasses over it, and she also wore yellow gloves that had fake fur stuck onto the back of them. She growled playfully, not hearing Mikey comment that she looked like the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood. She did, however, see Leo smack him upside the head, and laughed. The girl next to her was Lindsey and she was what turned out to be a phoenix, with red feathers in her hair and a shiny red and yellow dress with paper mache wings on the back.
The last girl was covered in toilet paper.
"Nice mummy costume," said Mikey.
The girl rolled her eyes. "I'm not a mummy; I'm a roll of toilet paper. Honestly."
"And that's Mandy," finished April. "Girls, these are my friends: Mikey, Leo, Don and Raph. They've come along to trick or treat as well."
"Isn't he too old?" asked Alice, pointing at Raph. "I mean, he must be at least in his forties."
"Oh, ha ha," grumbled Raph. "Very funny. Look, I'm only here for the ride. I ain't got no interest in candy."
"Double negatives cancel out," Mandy piped up. "That means you really do want to get candy!"
"I think he's had enough candy if you ask me," whispered Alice loudly. Mikey burst out laughing.
"Girls!" reprimanded April, but she was smirking slightly. "Be nice. Now, come on; the longer we dawdle, the less houses we'll get to visit."
April led them to a nearby street. Raph kept to the back of the group with Clara, who was peering up at him. He pointedly ignored her and Mikey, the latter of whom was chatting to the girls. Odele kept to April's side, glancing over her shoulder occasionally as if she was expecting someone to jump her. April put her finger on her chin as she decided which house to go to first, choosing one that had a jack-o'-lantern hanging by the door.
April knocked.
While the others sprung to April's side, Clara remained where she was. Raph's eyes flickered and he finally met her gaze. "What, have I got somethin' stuck between my teeth?"
"Is your hostility compensating for something?" asked Clara.
"What?" snarled Raph, but the door opened before he could say anything else. Clara skipped to the front with the other children and they all held out their bags.
"Trick or treat!"
"Nightmare Night, what a fright, give us something sweet to bite!" piped up Odele.
"What adorable children!" the old woman at the door cooed. Raph looked up at the sound of her voice and laughed, joining the others.
"Mrs. Morrison!" he said and she looked at his mouth. It had been ages since he had last seen her, but she was exactly like he remembered. She had that same smile, that same smell of cats and cookies. Her slippers slapped the ground as she stepped forward, her chubby yet frail hands supporting the sack of candy in her arms.
"Raphael! No time, no see." She smiled. "Well, I don't really see anything these days but you know what I mean." She laughed as her hand sought out their bags, dropping a handful of candy into each. "Trick or treating with your friends, are you, Raphael?"
"Yep." Raph puffed out his chest. "I mean, I'm helpin' look after them so nothin' bad happens."
"What a helpful boy you are," she said, nodding. After all the children had received some candy, her hand glided through the air and she raised her head. "Is that everyone? What about you, Raphael? Don't you go telling me you're too old for a little sugar."
Raph's cheeks slowly began to match the colour of his mask. April gave him a spare plastic pumpkin and Raph held it out to Mrs. Morrison. "Nah, of course not."
She reached out her hand and felt for the pumpkin before dropping some candy into it.
"Have a fun and safe night," she said, closing the door. "It was nice meeting you all. Be sure to pop in for a visit, Raphael!"
Raph pointed at Mikey. "Not. A. Single. Word."
Mikey zipped his mouth and the giggles bounced inside of him.
"Is that your Mom?" asked Lindsey.
"No, just a friend."
"Not too old for a bit of sugar, eh?" commented Don. Mikey couldn't control himself and snorted, doubling over. Raph's eyes became slits.
"Next house!" announced Jenny tactfully, taking hold of Mikey's hand and pulling him along. Alice held onto Mikey's other hand and leaned into him, babbling about a scary film she had seen while her mother was out. Jenny joined in and the two of them started a 'who has done the most grown up thing' competition, with very questionable definitions of 'grown up'. Don chuckled and tagged along behind with Lindsey by his side.
"Your costumes are very good," she said. "You look just like turtles. How did you get them so lifelike? I spent ages on mine and it's nowhere near as cool."
Don put his hand behind his head. "We have a very generous father. I like your costume. It's unique."
Raph went up to April, who was holding onto Odele's hand, and hissed, "How long is this gonna take?"
"Until we throw up!" Mandy said with a mouthful of candy.
"We'll only do this street, most likely," April replied. "Angie's mother is taking them to a sleepover in about an hour. And Mandy! Don't eat all of it now or you won't have any later. Didn't Mom tell you not to eat any until tomorrow?"
"... Maybe."
"Don't you like trick or treating, Mr. Red?" Clara tugged on Raph's arm.
"It's not the worst torture I've been through," Raph said. "I've gone through a lot worse."
Jenny and Alice turned around, releasing Mikey's hands. Raph wasn't keen on the amount of interest present on their faces. Neither was Mikey, who quickly piped up, "I've been through a lot of torturing too. Wanna hear?"
"Don't give them nightmares!" said April, waggling her finger. "I only get paid half the money if any of them wet the bed tonight."
"We don't get scared!" promised Alice. "Jenny and I have watched way loads of scary movies, even some with blood and guts and swearing and..." She lowered her voice, eyes shining. "... Sex!"
Jenny nodded. Odele's face paled.
"What the shell? What do your parents do all day, roleplay on Facebook?" said Raph, but they were too busy listening to Mikey's exaggerated tale. Raph rolled his eyes.
"Trick or treat!"
"Nightmare Night, what a fright, give us something sweet to bite!"
"Neat costumes, kids!" Raph placed his attention on the bespectacled string bean answering the door. Which was weird, because he hadn't noticed them enter a garden. There were Christmas lights hanging on the house, many of them faulty. Across the neat green lawn were garden gnomes, posing around pumpkins with smiling faces. Not scary smiley faces, but... Raph winced... cute smiley faces. Either that, or they had rabbits and squirrels carved into them.
The old man took the pipe out of his mouth as he held out a big bowl. The girls and Mikey reached in simultaneously and extracted some fruit. They stared, unreadable expressions on their faces.
"Don't eat it all at once, kids!"
He closed the door.
"It burns!" shrieked Mikey, dropping the apple.
"I don't like fruit," Odele mumbled. "Does anyone else want it?"
"What the heck?" Alice scrunched up her face. She threw her orange at the door. The old man opened it again and peered downwards, adjusting his glasses. He looked back up.
"Didn't I give you nice children something already?"
"Have you got any candy?" Mikey held out his pumpkin. "Chocolate? Toffee apples? Gum under your shoe?"
"Our household only has healthy, nutritious food because our son is trying to lose weight," the old man explained. "We don't have anything sugary or fatty. Besides, we believe children should eat nutritious food. A healthy child is a happy child. Our son went through years of bullying at school because of his weight."
"That's fine." April put her hands onto Alice's shoulders and pulled her back. "We'll be on our way. Have a good night, sir!"
"What kind of family doesn't have candy on Halloween?" said Mikey, looking like he had sucked too many lemon drops (which he probably had done before setting off). He raised a finger.
"Mikey," hissed Leo. "We don't need any unwanted attention on us."
"He's right though!" Alice insisted. "We want candy, not smelly yucky fruit!"
"Yeah!" Jenny chimed in.
"Give us candy, you old fart!" Mandy shook her fist.
April's face was redder than her hair. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into them."
"Is someone troublin' you, pa?"
The old man stepped aside to let a larger, blond man come out. With each step the ground seemed to shake, and the children could swear that they involuntarily left the ground as the man walked towards them. He cracked his knuckles as he ducked under the door so he could fit through, sending the girls scurrying behind Mikey. Alice remained where she was for a moment, leering, only to be pulled back by Jenny.
This man, who they assumed was the son, moved his mouth around as if warming it up. He snorted, throwing his head back. His dirty blond ponytail whipped his back. Feeling their fear, he leaned forward and bent his knees so they had a better view of his face. The contrast of light and shadow on his face was stark, with shadows under his eyes, nose and around his mouth. The girls shrieked and tried to bury their faces into Mikey's legs.
His chest had heaved, hinting the start of a laugh, when the son froze upon seeing Mikey. Surprise swiftly dissolved into smugness. "Look what the cat spat up."
"Hun?" said Leo.
"You're on a diet?" said Don.
"You live with your parents?" said Raph.
"Dad, what did you tell them?" Hun turned to his father, who didn't appear at all intimidated by him.
His father chuckled. "Now, now. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of people have weight problems but only a few of them do anything about it. That's what makes you a man." Hun's father gritted his teeth and shook his fist, nearly crying with pride.
Mikey laughed. Raph pulled back his fist and Hun held up two. April took hold of Raph's hand and brought it to his side. She shook Hun's father's hand. "We don't want to get into any trouble that we can avoid! This is all a big misunderstanding and I'll be sure to tell their parents about their rudeness."
"I didn't do anything though!" whined Odele.
"Aw, can't I beat him up?" said Raph.
"No," replied Leo.
"Not even a tiny bit?"
"Well..."
"No," said April. Leo quickly nodded.
"Want me to throw them out, Pa?" Hun smirked, linking his hands together before clapping once.
Hun's father waggled his finger. "No. No roughhousing. And you wonder why you didn't get into medical school, Hundayoo."
As the door closed, Hun moaned, "I told you not to call me that!"
They remained where they were momentarily.
"... Moving on," said April.
"I take it you know him," said Lindsey as they moved onto the next house. A group of children wearing superhero costumes passed them, laughing.
"We're best friends," said Raph.
Lindsey smiled. "Clearly."
The next houses didn't bring them anywhere near as much excitement or fear (the same thing this night) as the previous one had, and the treats were not nearly as healthy. This satisfied the children and Mikey, who began telling everyone about the time they saved the world from gremlins and stone beasts. Lindsey allowed herself to leave Don's side so she could hear him better, and Clara stopped staring at Raph.
"... I jumped in the way and kicked that freaky statue's head off like this." Mikey demonstrated. Their eyes were like saucers. "It was still alive, but its end was near. I charged it and BAM! In front of the subway train it goes."
"That didn't really happen, did it?" Odele furrowed her brow.
Mikey prodded himself in the chest. "What I say is as real as my costume."
The girls laughed.
"Usually, I'd tell him to shut up and call him out," Raph told Leo and Don. "But I think this is the most attention from girls he's ever gonna get so I'm lettin' it slide this time."
"How very noble," said Don.
"But, you know, I wouldn't say no to someone letting his fangirls know the truth." Raph elbowed Leo. "Right?"
Leo didn't reply. Raph waved his hand in front of him.
"You okay, bro?"
Leo pointed. Raph followed his arm to the end of the finger and stiffened, reaching for his sai. Don also looked and narrowed his eyes, bending his legs. April paused and paled, putting a hand to her chest. She turned to Don.
"Is that...?"
"Who else?" Don muttered.
On the other side of the street was Karai, who was decked out in her usual Foot ninja outfit. That in itself was something to take note of, but the thing to take a full-blown book of was the presence of Oroku Saki. He wasn't in his armour- he wasn't even in his exosuit. The only creature uglier than Hun was settled in her arms in his full, alien, naked glory.
Then, in front of them, there was a pink pony on its hind legs. It swung its paper bag as it marched along. Its mad, hot pink mane was frizzy and it turned around to face the Shredder and Karai. They looked away and Karai stopped walking, the two of them staring at their enemies.
Raph looked around. Mikey and the children had gone onto the next house, but the orange masked turtle was gazing suspiciously at the Shredder whenever the girls weren't looking at him. Leo looked April in the eye and she nodded, joining Mikey and the girls.
"Should we do somethin'?" hissed Raph.
"I didn't bring my weapons," mumbled Leo.
Raph gaped. "Why the shell not, fearless leader? A boyscout like you always has his katana with him."
"Believe it or not, I didn't think that anything that would warrant their usage would come up while we were supervising ten year old girls," said Leo.
"Nice optimism," complimented Don. "It might not matter anyway. I think they're just trick or treating."
"Trick or treatin'?" Raph sneered. "Are you tellin' me that Shredder, Shredder Jnr and... whoever that horse is are just trick or treatin'?"
"Yes."
"Shredder." Raph pointed at him. "Trick or treatin'. I'll let you stew over what you said before pointin' out how dumb that statement is."
"Think about it," said Don. "This is the one night where people like us are the norm."
Raph blinked twice before realising. "Shredder ain't a person. He's... He's a monster."
Don smiled wanly. "And so are we, Raph."
Raph clenched his fists and Leo put a hand onto his shoulder. "Raph, I know how you feel but this is a night where we don't draw attention to ourselves. Our fight with Shredder can come another day when there aren't innocent people around. I suspect he has his ninja on guard nearby. We can't let any innocent people get hurt."
Leo sighed. Raph sighed. Don sighed.
Leo tilted his head to one side. "Come on, let's catch up with the others."
Raph felt something tug on his arm and thought it was Leo at first. He lifted his gaze from the ground and met the eyes of Mandy. Her small hand was wrapped around his wrist, face anxious. Raph remembered how Splinter had once said that children were more receptive to emotions than most other people and picked her up. She squealed as he placed her on his shoulders.
He glowered at the Shredder, who was glaring at them. Karai's expression was less readable. Fear wouldn't have been the best word to describe it, but she didn't look keen on starting anything. Leo locked eyes with Karai and maintained eye contact, frowning.
Raph's attention went skyward. "We've still got some more houses to hit, kid."
The three turtles and human went to catch up with their friends, and their foes departed with equal silence except from Karai saying, "That costume is ridiculous, Chaplin."