AN: I've been watching the first and second seasons of Chicago Fire over again and I miss Shay desperately, so I was playing around with what I thought would be a oneshot, but when I started writing I kept having ideas, so I thought I would see where it goes… I hope you guys are interested and I would love to hear what you think! Also, the first chapter is more of a blurb from the future and is shorter than I was expecting, but future chapters should be longer. This story is set in the second season after the blackout and Keeler drama, but since I prefer Dawson working with Shay as a paramedic I'm going to pretend Gabby never went to the fire academy for this story. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, don't own anything, because if I did, things would be drastically different right now.
Perspective
Leslie Shay knows almost everything about her best friend.
She knows how to read his body language when he's angry and barley hanging onto control. She knows how his grin goes just a little crooked when he's excited, when he's happy. She knows when he's pulling away, even if she isn't always sure why, and when he needs to pull closer, to her, to their 51 family, to reality.
She knows little, everyday things like his favorite type of movie, and that beer and sharing her ice cream can persuade him to let her choose what they watch, though they usually pick the same things anyway. She knows his favorite comfort food, which she'd had to beg him to teach her to make.
She also knows the things you can only learn from living with someone, no matter how close you are otherwise. Like how he doesn't mind to cook, but finds grocery shopping for much more than the basics tedious. And even though he never wears them, he always has flannel shirts in his room for her to wear when hers are dirty.
She knows he secretly eats her yogurt and they both know she lets him get away with it. She knows he doesn't really mind the music she sometimes blasts throughout the apartment, even though he complains about it.
She knows how angry he still sometimes gets at his father, no matter how he tries to patch the tears in their long damaged relationship, for leaving him, for leaving the families he'd had afterward, for never quite being what Kelly hopes for him to be. She knows the hurt that lies beneath the anger. She knows how totally adoring he is of his new little sister and she hopes Katie knows how lucky she is to have him. She knows he loves his mother, though they aren't as close as he'd like them to be. She knows he loves kids and someday he wants a house full of them and she knows he's going to be an amazing father, so much better than his ever was.
She knows that he's a good man, strong and honorable and caring. He would walk through fire, and does, for complete strangers and he'd go to hell and back for the people he cares about. When he loves someone, he does it wholeheartedly; and when his heart is broken, it shatters. And when one of them is broken, they always help put each other back together. Lord knows they've had enough practice at that since they met, especially in the last couple of years.
She knows that he hates to see a woman cry, and she is no exception to the rule, but he never walks away when tears stream silently over her face or she gives in to sobs. She knows he's overprotective, and not just of her, but he never makes her feel smothered or incapable of taking care of herself. She knows he supports her unconditionally, even when she isn't making the best decisions, because he wants her to be happy. She knows he's as much her anchor as she is his and she doesn't know what she would do without him.
He's been her best friend, her family, almost from the day they met; she loves him. Shay has never questioned that he loves her, too.
She knows all these things and more about Kelly Severide.
What she doesn't know, is when the look in his eyes changed when he looks at her. She doesn't know how she missed that. Or if maybe it's always been there and she just never noticed it before.
She doesn't know those things. And she most assuredly does not know when she started to look at him differently. They'd promised to always be there for each other a long time ago, but this was never a part of the plan…
All Shay knows is that everything has changed and she's pretty sure that it started with a broken spirit and a lot of alcohol.
Next time we go back to the beginning… Please review! Thanks!