Please comment on my writing but review the story too :)
Saiki smirked at the sight of the Blanctorche Mansion on fire. By torching it with his green flames, Ash had proven his loyalty to them. All doubts had now been erased from Saiki's mind; Ash indeed did seem like the type who searched for power and the deal proposed was quite acceptable. Besides, he was his descendant… so he should follow his path shouldn't he?
"He's quite powerful Milord… like you" Mukai spoke from his place among 'Those From the Past' as they stood dutifully behind Saiki, their master "He will make an excellent asset to you"
"Yes but I still feel a bit cautious; he was allied with the Blanctorche…" Magaki spoke from his left "He doesn't look trustable – he would probably ally with anyone who could offer him the power he desires"
"He is my descendant; I know him…" Saiki responded to his underlings "He will assist me and if he wants the 'Three Sacred Treasures' he can have them, a small price to pay for the power of Orochi" he smirked "They would be nothing compared to the pure power of the serpent god…"
"Here he comes Milord" Botan spoke pointedly about the figure approaching.
Ash Crimson came to a halt in front of Saiki and his minions who collectively made up the group called Those From the Past, having traveled from the past to the current era in hopes of finally getting their hands on the power of Orochi. Ash, by no means, appreciated being related to Saiki. He stared expressionlessly at his ancestor as the wicked man gave a small, but matching wicked laugh.
"Well done…" Saiki applauded the boy "Let's leave these burning ruins now…"
In a flash, they were gone, and Ash Crimson with them…
Tell me, how's my writing; I appreciate correct judgement of my writing skills and language :)