This Fic is composed of about 50% action, 40% bad jokes, 8% prinny explosions and about 2% other
Full Summary: A young thief named Fleck is living a semi regular life in the netherworld village of Junktown. His life, along with that of his long time friend/prinny sidekick, Vic will take a drastic change down the road of insanity with the awakening of the late Overlords son.
PS: No actual demons were harmed in the making of this fic, the same can NOT be said for the prinny portion of the staff.
"oooohhhhhh Myyyyyy GOOOOOOOD!" Fleck ran through the crumbling walls of the castle, dodging every arrow and fireball sent at him. "This is insane! I'm a thief, I'm not supposed to go to the front line!" Fleck dove and rolled underneath a small section of wall, using it as cover. He adjusted his red and white striped hat, his short, dirty blond hair was frayed at the edges. Fleck breathed heavily as he heard the chanting of spells and the sound of metal clashing against metal. "Isn't the first day on the job supposed to be easy?" He whined. When the fighting and yelling died down, Fleck poked his head out. "Is it over?" He was answered by a charred body of one of the enemy soldiers.
"All Right!! This area is clear!! Everyone charge in!" a high pitched, yet somehow intimidating voice echoed across the large room that had been turned into a warzone. Fleck looked up and recognized the two long strings of hair that stretched out like antennas, and the long flowing red scarf.
"Prince Laharl…He's going to be the death of me, I know it!" Clutching his sword, Fleck, at the urging of the others in his squad, followed him into the castle.
Ch1: HELP WANTED
The Netherworld…a veritable cesspool of corruption and greed, the prime gathering place for crooks, murderers, thieves and just about any other kind of word that you could use to describe an "unpleasant individual".
Junk Town: A particularly worn down part of the netherworld. It's a giant amalgam of discarded metal, weapons, building materials, and machinery. Very few pass through here, and even fewer live here for very long. Like the balance of power, the residents change erratically. All except one…
"Come back here you dirty rat!!" a large suit of armor with flames roaring out of its head raised its sword in the air and chased after a young boy. He wore a red and white striped hat that covered most of his dirty blond hair. He had a green shirt, brown shorts, and brown leather shoes. A small pouch of (stolen) money jingled in his hand.
"Suck on it! If you can even keep track of your own money you don't deserve the title of Dark Knight!" the boy stuck his tongue out and sped up.
"When I catch you, you'll wish you were never born!!" The armor called out.
"That's what they always say…" Fleck jumped to the side and into a small hole, one of several he had dug in the junkpile that was his home town. He had memorized every tricky passage and turn in the entire town.
"NO!" The dark night reached his hand down into the whole after Fleck but couldn't fit. He slammed his fist on the ground in frustration.
"1200, 1300…1350!? He only has 1350HL!?" Fleck exclaimed as he walked down the street to his house. "This won't even last the week!" Fleck complained. "Knowing her, probably not even till tomorrow." Fleck sighed and looked at his watch. "Crap, I'm late. She's gonna throw a fit if I stay out any longer." Fleck's pace increased to slow trot as he neared his door.
"Sis! Gwen! I'm back!" Fleck called in as he entered. A hand reached out from the couch waving him in.
"What took you so long!" She yelled, drunkenly. Unlike Fleck, who was a thief, Gwen was a Nekomata. She had pale skin and brown eyes. She had red hair on her head and her green fur grew in a way that resembled a revealing swimsuit.
"Please don't tell me you went through the whole case again…We just bought that last week!" He said. He looked around. "Hey, where's Vic?"
"Right here, Dood!" a small wing extended from underneath a white sheet with several beer bottles on top.
"Hold still! Table don't move." Gwen said.
"You're using him as a table now? Isn't that a little…inefficient?" Fleck asked, taking a seat next to his sister.
"Not if he stays perfectly still…"
"So how was your work, Dood?" Vic asked, still under the sheet.
Gwen clamped his beak shut with her hand. "Tables don't talk either."
"See for yourself, got it off a dark knight." Fleck tossed the small pouch onto the center table. Gwen opened it and counted.
"1350HL!? This won't last us the week!" Gwen yelled.
"That's what I said."
"Gyaahhh! Can't anyone in this dead end town work up a decent enough fortune to steal!" she yelled.
"Maybe it's because we steal it…or should I say I steel it." Fleck said. "Lazy old hag…" He muttered, only to get socked on the head.
"I can hear you…" Gwen stood up and stretched. "Whatever, I'm gonna take a nap, you can take this…" Gwen tossed Fleck the pouch. "Don't wake me." She walked upstairs and shut the door.
"She's gone…" Fleck said. Immediately Vic threw off the white sheet and took a deep breath. "I can't believe you were willing to be her table…" Fleck chuckled.
"Anything to get paid, Dood. If I save up enough, I'll be able to get reincarnated back to my old self, dood! Then I'll get back at that witch, Dood." Vic said, pumped up.
"Well, thanks to my sister's good graces, we now have some spending money. Any suggestions?" Fleck dangled the pouch in the air. "Besides putting it into your savings account!" Fleck followed up quickly.
"SCREW GWEN!! She can take her fat ass all the way back to hell!" Fleck cried in a drunken frenzy.
"Yeah, screw the slave driving witch, dood!" Vic yelled. "If I were in my original form, she'd be begging for mercy, Dood!"
"Vic, old buddy, you and me are gonna drink like there's no tomorrow! Hey, old man, another dozen over here!" Fleck said, slamming more money down on the counter. "Tonight's The Fiesta!!!" Fleck yelled as everything blurred out.
Fleck woke up on the floor, staring at his ceiling. "ugh…what the hell?" He turned over on his stomach and scanned the area. He was in his kitchen. "How did…" His eyes rested on a small penguin covered in glass bottles. "Hey…Hey Vic, wake up you slacker!" Fleck grabbed Vic by the head and shook him awake. When the prinny finally woke up, Fleck dropped him on the pile of glass bottles. "What the hell happened?"
"You drank six dozen bottles of vodka in under 2 minutes, ran amok through town, imagined you were Lupin the 3rd and tried to break into your own house, dood. Once inside, you proceeded to raid every single cupboard and drawer and drank every single bottle of liquid you could find, all the while, singing random beetles songs in Cantonese, dood. I think you swallowed a few gallons of bleach in the process, dood."
"Oh…man…I was wasted…" Fleck laughed but soon grew completely pale. He knocked Vic off the glass bottles and took a closer look at their labels. The word MILK was printed on in big black letters. "Oh…shit…" Fleck dropped the bottle. "Vic, do you realize what I've done… I just went through Gwen's entire stash. Booze is one thing, but do you know what will happen once she finds out that I drank all her milk.!?" Fleck said, shaking Vic violently. "What do we do!?" Fleck yelled.
"We? You drank the milk so I don't have to do anything, dood." Vic said.
"Think for a minute Vic. When my sister kills me, do you honestly think you can handle her all by yourself?" Fleck said. Vic turned as pale as he did."
"What do we do, dood!?"
"Eyahhh, shut up, let me think!" Fleck suddenly had an idea and rushed to his room. Rustling was heard, and a loud bam as he descended downstairs. He had two suitcases and a sword strapped to his belt. "We make a break for it!"
"Are you sure we can survive out there, dood?" Vic asked.
"Do you want to take your chances here?" Fleck asked.
Gwen's yawning was heard from the second story. "Let's go, dood!" Fleck and Vic were out the door, leaving a trail of dust in their wake.
"Fleck, Vic, where are you guys!?" Gwen stepped down and looked into the kitchen, eyeing the pile of empty milk bottles in the middle of the floor.
"Where to?" The bus driver asked Fleck as he and Vic boarded the bus.
"Wherever, man, just not here." A large explosion was heard in the distance and Gwen came charging into view, eyes glowing red, a dust storm trailing behind her.
"FLECK! I'll Kill you!!" She growled.
Fleck grabbed the driver by the collar and yelled. "Drive, man Drive! If you want to live to see the next sunrise, then DRIVE!" he yelled.
Panicked, the driver rammed his foot down on the pedal and drove into the distance, even Gwen couldn't keep up. As the bus reached the city limits, Junk Town grew smaller and smaller.
"We did it…We did it, dood!" Vic jumped up and down with joy.
"You know, I didn't think it would be this simple." Fleck commented as he and Vic sat down.
"Shows what the power of intimidation has, dood. Are we gonna be gone forever?" Vic said, hope in his voice.
"Of course not, She'll probably calm down in a week or 3 and, if she hasn't completely destroyed the town and all its inhabitants, this will all blow over like a bad headache." Fleck said, destroying Vic's dream of being free of Gwen's unreasonable orders. Vic would've quit by now had it not been so difficult for a prinny to find a job that paid more than 5HL a week.
The day went on as the bus kept driving, stopping periodically to let on and off passengers. Vic and Fleck soon fell asleep.
"Hey…Hey, you!" the bus driver poked Fleck in the nose until he woke up. "Last stop buddy, you have to get off here."
"Huh?...yeah…" Waking Vic up, Fleck and his companion stepped off the bus and into the outside. "Whoa…" Fleck said as he eyed the structure in front of him and Vic. It was a large castle resting on a stone column in the middle of a lake of lava, a narrow bridged connecting it to the mainland. The Castle itself looked like a mixed up pile of houses, the only parts that looked like a castle were three towers in the center of the complex.
"Maybe we should turn back, dood.." Vic said, meekly.
"Let's go inside!" Fleck said, walking across the bridge.
"Why, dood!?" Vic yelled.
Fleck pointed to a flyer on one of the trees near the bridge.
HELP WANTED, BIG $$$
Vic followed with renewed vigor.
"I'm starting to have second thoughts about this…dood." Vic said, uneasily.
"Hey, why do prinnies always say 'dood' after every sentence?" Fleck asked.
"Does that really matter, dood? We could get killed in this job, dood!" Vic said in a strained voice.
"how do you know?" Fleck asked.
"All I can say is that when there's a HELP WANTED sign in front of a huge castle, it usually involves dangerous and/or humiliating work, dood." Vic explained.
"Geez, we haven't even crossed the bridge yet and you're already getting cold feet…or peg legs…?" Fleck sighed. "Look, if it's that bad, we'll bale out. For now, just stay quiet." Fleck reassured his friend. Soon, the duo approached the large double doors that lead into the castle, two guards stood in front, sleeping. "uh…" Fleck looked around, making sure this wasn't some kind of weird trap. He pulled out his short sword and lightly poked one of the guards with it.
"mgh…uh.. Huh? What the hell do you want?" He said in a sleepy tone. Fleck held up the Help Wanted sign. "Oh… another lamb up for the slaughter, huh? Head on in…zzzzz." The guard soon fell back asleep.
"I don't like the 'lamb for the slaughter' thing he said, dood." Vic said.
Fleck ignored him and opened the doors, stepping into an extremely large lobby. Several demons of all different shapes and sizes walked around and conversed with one another. Fleck could see a small reception desk in the very back, a portrait of a well dressed man with a weird antennae hair style hung on the wall behind it. Fleck and Vic slowly made their way up to it. When he got there, a young girl in a white dress, red eyes, blue hair with a red ribbon in it, and an oddly charming stoic expression on her face greeted him. A small plaque on the desk read "Pleinair".
"Uh… We're here to apply for a job…" Fleck said, blushing slightly. Pleinair reached into a drawer and pulled out what looked like two application sheets and handed it to Fleck. "Do we fill this out?" He asked, awkwardly. Pleinair nodded and pointed to a large set of double doors at the end of a long hallway. "I uh…I see…" Fleck and Vic bowed and made their way to the doors, filling out the paper along the way, trying to avoid bumping into people as they went.
"It felt like she was staring into my soul…" Fleck said slightly trembling. Fleck bumped against someone's shoulder. "Hey, watch it!" he said.
"Sorry, my bad…" a smooth, calm voice responded. He had short, almost buzz cut brown hair and a green gown. A staff was slung across his back. "But to be fair, you shouldn't be writing stuff down while walking."
"You're…a healer, right?" Fleck asked.
"You got it! My name is Mill, I'm here to apply as a healer in Prince Laharl's army." Mill said with a smile. His smooth skin and young physique was one you'd find in a stereotypical high school pretty boy.
"A…Army?" Fleck and Vic repeated with a gulp.
"What did you think this place was? Summer Camp?" another, rather loud voice said from behind Mill. Two Figures approached. One was a woman with black hair tied into a rather wide ponytail and wore red and white oriental style clothing and a Katana strapped to her side. The other was a male, the one who spoke up. He had annoyingly luminescent green hair and had a tight black shirt on. He had padded gloves and boots and had a belt with numerous pouches strapped around his black pants, an axe clung to his back, securely.
"Yes." Fleck replied quickly, as though nothing was wrong with him thinking a foreboding dark castle in the middle of a lava lake was a summer camp (can you really blame him? It's the netherworld for Pete's sake).
"Silo, Misha! Good timing! I can introduce you to my new friend. This is…uh…" Mill hesitated, realizing he didn't get Fleck or Vic's names.
"I-I'm Fleck and this is Vic." Fleck said.
Silo took one look at Fleck and then turned to face Mill. "With all do respect Mill, the last "friend" you made tried to tear open my rib cage. Besides, I'd rather not split up the pay check four ways." Silo said.
"What do you mean?" Fleck asked.
"They pay according to groups." Misha said.
"Let's just go!" Silo ordered.
"C'mon, Silo! Lighten up!" Mill said, lightheartedly.
"Tch! Fine, He can tag along, but I'm not signing him up with us!" Silo said. He turned and walked towards the double doors. Misha followed suit, not so much as glancing at Fleck.
"Don't mind Silo, He's just a little tense." Mill said, placing his hand on Fleck's shoulder.
"Why? Isn't this just a job offer?" Fleck asked.
"You see… You know about how King Krichevskoy recently died, right?" Mill asked. Fleck and Vic nodded. "Silo really respected him and trained all his life to one day serve under him. However, when news of his death spread, it naturally hit him pretty hard. Seriously, he ate nothing but ice cream for 3 months straight like a depressed, middle aged, single, social worker unable to find the right guy.
"That's a lot of Ice Cream." Fleck thought.
"But, when news of the King's Son reached his ears, he quickly started re-honing his skills just to join up." Mill finished.
"If that's all, why is he so nervous, dood?" Vic asked. "I'm sure he'll get in, dood."
"It's not his ability that's the problem. Its…" As the six of five of them approached the door, loud murmuring could be heard beyond, Silo had a sick look on his face. Misha pushed open the door, revealing a room crammed to the brim with potential employees. Those that could fly hovered above the crowd, a large stage with 3 figures stood in the back ground.
"It's the fact that everyone within a 50 mile radius is applying for one reason or another, that's the problem." Mill stated.
"Crap… There's more people here than we thought!" Silo yelled. "Wh-what do we do!? Ngh! Mm! Ah!" Silo panicked. Misha walked up to him and slapped him across the face. "…Thanks, Misha, I needed that." Silo said. Misha gave him a thumbs up.
"Sh!" a person in the crowd said. One of the figures on the stage held a microphone and stepped forward. He had short, bright red pants, a long red scarf, and no shirt. His Blue hair had a seemingly impossible antennae style to it. Two others were behind him. A flat chested red head wearing a skimpy black outfit. And then there was the receptionist girl from before, pleinair, who held a set of large cue cards.
"Testing! Testing! Hey! Attention, all of you!" He said, in a high pitched voice. The room fell silent. "Ahem…I am Prince Laharl! Son of King Krichevskoy! As you all know, I have been asleep for 2 years and now I am prepared to begin my ascent to the throne." Pleinair held up a picture of the overlord's throne as Laharl finished. "I would first like to thank you all for coming." Pleinair then held a card that said THANKS. "I'm sure all of you will serve, in one way or another, to help ME achieve ultimate power." Pleinair then held a card that said SCREW UP AND YOU DIE. "However, there seems to be a bit too many hopefuls here for us to cover, financially." a card with a question mark was now in Pleinair's hands. Laharl thought for a moment. "Aha! A battle royal! You will all fight to the death for the job!" the crowd began murmuring again. "The final 100 will receive the honor of being my personal army!" Laharl announced. Pleinair held a sign with a skull on top of it. "Now…BEGIN!!" Lahrl yelled. Silence.
"So that's his game…" Silo grinned, suddenly very confident. If it's about combat ability, then my place is certified." Silo said.
"I don't like the looks of this, dood." Vic said, tugging on Flecks shirt.
"I agree. I think It's about time we left." as Fleck and Vic turned to the door, two large demons slammed it shut.
"There is no escape so you're only hope is fight your way out!" Laharl yelled.
"Crap…." Fleck was sweating.
"Hey!.." a booming voice resounded, freezing Fleck and Vic in place. "You're the little rat that stole my wallet!" A large suit of armor with a flaming head shoved his way through the crowd and up to Fleck and Vic.
"F-fancy meeting you here…" Fleck stammered.
"Payback time!" He yelled.
"It's a fight people, you have to hit someone!" Laharl yelled.
Just before the armor's sword ended Fleck's existence and Vic's only lifeline, it was stopped by a large axe. Silo grunted as he resisted the knight's strength. "Hey…are you gonna get up or just leave me hanging?" He grunted.
"What the-? You wanna die too!?" the knight roared.
"I don't know…do you!?" Silo shoves the sword aside and kicks the knight into the crowd, hitting several other demons. "Watch it!" one demon yelled. "Get off me!" another roared. The room soon erupted into a flurry of fireballs, gunshots, and sword strikes.
"How did this happen!?" Fleck yelled as he rolled out of the way of an incoming ice bolt.
"Less talking more slashing, dood!" Vic said, nervously drawing his daggers.
"bring it on!" Silo slammed his axe into the floor, the shockwave sending several demons into the air. Misha leaped up and sliced all of them in half with her sword.
"Awesome…" Fleck said in a daze.
"Giga star!" Fleck felt a flash of heat wash over him as a demon was incinerated right behind him.
"watch out!" Mill said, flashing another pretty boy smile.
As the battle raged, Laharl sighed as he sat down on one of the chairs in the back ground. "I have a feeling this could take a while…" a demon was flung on stage but was promptly kicked back down into the fray.
"Do you have anything better to do, prince?" The red head said.
"I don't need any help taking the throne, Etna! I can destroy anyone who opposes me by myself!" Laharl declared.
"True…but do you really want to wade through the small fry just to get to one real threat?" Etna said.
"True…These dolts better be worth it."
"You're mine!" a demon brought down his axe down towards Misha, leaving no time to dodge. A flash of green appeared in front of her and the axe was gone. "Huh?"
"Looking for this?" Fleck said, leaning on the demon's axe. "I've been doing this for a long time, man. Vic!"
"You got it, dood!" Vic leaped into the air and began to rapidly throw his daggers at his target, they flew back like boomerangs only to be thrown again in rapid succession. "Prinny Barage, Dood!" Soon, the demon was reduced to nothing. Fleck and Vic high fived. "Still got it, dood!"
"Not bad…" Silo said as he took out another foe. "I just might consider letting you into our group after all." Silo grinned.
Mill slammed his staff into the ground, sending a flash of light that incinerated several demons around him. "did you actually give a compliment?" Mill said.
"Lay off!"
"Pleinair! How many are left?" Etna asked. Pleinair held a small sketch pad. She constantly flipped the pages back, each one had a number one less than the previous page. "223? Already? This might not last as long as I thought." Pleinair's eyes darted across the room, flipping the countdown sketch pad as each person fell, as well as the green flash darting from demon to demon.
"You!" the dark knight yelled. Fleck froze in his place.
"Wha?" Fleck bent backwards to dodge a crushing blow. "Are you still mad about the money!? Get over it already!" Fleck said as he dodged each blow. Fleck attempted to retaliate but couldn't pierce the armor. "Damn it!"
"Time to die!!" Just as the Dark knight was about to crush Fleck, a loud whistle rang through the room.
"That's enough! We've reached the 100 mark! This excludes prinnies by the way." Laharl said.
"What!? But I was just getting star-" Before the dark knight was able to finish, he was obliterated in a blinding light. The armor fell to the ground, the flame died out.
"Shoot…" Fleck said.
"If the first words out of your mouth aren't "yes Sir" after I give an order, then your no good to me!" Laharl said.
"Y-yes sir!" the remaining combatants said.
"Uh, prince?" Etna said. "Now we have an uneven 99" Etna said.
"That's kind of annoying…It'll have to d-"
"Wait!" a female voice echoed into the room. A young woman in a long flowing gown with silky blue hair passed through the doors, a crumpled application sheet in her hand. "Is it too late to apply? I just got here so…Oh? Did I miss something?" She said as she scanned the room filled with dead bodies.
"Perfect, now we're up to 100" Laharl said. "You're all hired, congratulations!" he said. As everyone cheered, Laharl spoke again. "You'll be assigned into separate squads tomorrow. That's also the day we head out, so don't slack off!" Laharl, Etna, and Pleinair got up and exited the room.
"Um.. My name is Celeste! It's nice to meet you all!" Celeste bowed.
Fleck gulped, blushed and stepped forward. "Um, Hi…I'm-" Before Fleck could finish, he was shoved into the wall by Mill.
"Well hello there my young maiden! What a surprise to see another healer here! All the people I've been meeting today were thieves and cutthroats…" Mill began to flirt with the newcomer.
"I hope he isn't referring to me…" Silo said.
"my pride as a man was just taken…" Fleck muttered as he sat up, depressed. Vic patted his back comfortably.
Later that night, Fleck and Vic's room
Fleck was sitting on his bed, Vic unrolled a sleeping bag next to the wall. "Today was an interesting day eh vic?" Fleck said.
"I guess…Are you still planning on going home?" Vic asked.
"Maybe, maybe not…I'll decide that on my own." Fleck said, staring at the large white moon.
And that's the first chapter. I don't know when I'll be able to work on part two as I have other pressing concerns. You'll have to forgive me it this isn't exactly funny, I'm not that good at comedies. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. See you all next time!
But now, Some Profiles.
Fleck: a young thief who lived in junk town for most of his life. Although he isn't the strongest, he was the fastest in his village which made him perfect for pursuing a career as a thief. He tries to keep a very mellow attitude, even if he's panicking on the inside. Despite not having much skill, he prefers to use a sword considering his line of work requires he get up close and personal. He also considers himself a realist, despite his bouts of irrationality from time to time.
Vic: Flecks long time friend and Prinny side kick. He lived under the thumb of Fleck's sister, Gwen for most of his life. The only reason he puts up with it is because Gwen pays better than most official jobs in junk town. He constantly rants about how if he were in his original form, things would be so much better. He does this so many times that no one even listens (if they ever did) anymore. The only person who ever cared about his existence to any degree was Fleck which is why they get along so well.
Gwen: A Nekomata who lived in junk town. Surprisingly, she is Flecks Biological sister. She came from a long line of nekomatas but, by some cosmic twist of fate, her mother also gave birth to Fleck. The two of them soon found themselves in Junktown, getting by only through Flecks skill at thievery. Despite her attitude, she really does care about Fleck and Vic (as far as furniture goes). She usually spends most of her day drinking or torturing Vic to amuse herself, but her most valued possession is her stash of pure, untainted milk. She once reduced a thief to mere shreds of clothing after he so much as looked at her stash. Considering the events of today's chapter, current maps won't have junk town listed.
Silo: A warrior who practically worshipped King Krichevskoy before his death. He respected him above everyone else and trained rigorously for years in the hopes of serving him one day. He gathered a small trio of comrades to help on his journey to prove himself but, upon hearing the news of the King's death, fell into a steep depression. He found renewed hope in Laharl in that by serving him, he is serving the late King. He was supposed to be the original main character but his story was to stereotypical and thus Fleck was selected instead. He is shown to have problems dealing with stress or un forseen complications that impede him from proving his worth. Misha is usually the one who snaps him out of it.
Misha: the first person to join Silo's group. They met after they teamed up to save a village from an evil magistrate. She speaks very little and lets her actions define her. Growing up in a long line of samurais, Misha embodies the very essence of her class. Her first loyalty is to Silo and vice versa. She has a slight hatred for ninjas, calling them cowards.
Mill: The third person of Silo's group and the most social. He was the most popular guy in the village he lived in, however he failed to notice this. When he left his hometown to find more exitement, he soon attempted to befriend a large gang of zombies near the Frozen River which prompted rescue by Silo and Misha who were conveniently setting up camp near by. The group has been together ever since. He is a master of Healing and star magic, but never drops his "airhead" disposition. He has a tendency to make friends with dangerous people or things, one incident resulting in Silo almost being ripped apart. Although he is generally polite, if he see's something he wants, he'll go after it relentlessly. He developes an immediate crush on Celeste when she enters the room.
Celeste: The last topic of today. Celeste is a healer who enters the job at the last minute. She is the daughter of a recently fallen angel and thus has a much better understanding of Celestial ways than most others. She seems clueless at first but knows when to get serious. Fleck and Mill both develop slight feelings for her at first sight. Although it's more prominent in Mill.