Remy tugged at the hem of her dress and smiled at herself in the mirror. Nothing felt right about this situation. She found House's eyes in the mirror and frowned. She looked insincere.
"You look good, Thirteen." House whistled behind her. She turned around to face him. He was lounging on her bed, tossing pieces of popcorn into his mouth and attacking her lab report with his trusty red pen.
"I look ridiculous." She frowned, sliding back the curtain to her closet and selecting a pair of ballet flats.
"You're a Grade-A cut of prime freshman, and, more importantly, just hours away from the grand prize." He answered, before slashing through an entire paragraph of her report.
She stared down at the nametag on her chest: Remy Hadley #13. She really did feel like a piece of meat in the cattle call that was sorority recruitment - and House certainly wasn't helping her by calling her by her assigned number instead of her name.
"God, I hope you're better at girl-flirting than p-chem." House set the papers down on her desk, and got up from her bed. Remy cringed as itty-bitty pieces of popcorn scattered across the floor. Thank god she didn't have a roommate for House to drive crazy.
"Excuse me?" Remy placed a hand on her hip and stared him down.
"If you were good at p-chem, you wouldn't be girl-flirting in the first place." House shot back. Remy rolled her eyes. Unfortunately, it was true. Remy had originally agreed to rush Beta-Kappa sorority in return for House's help in class. He was her TA, and they'd fallen into a weird friendship since she was, by far, the most frequent student in his office hours.
On a rather boring day at office hours, she'd discovered that House had a weird rivalry with the Beta Kappa president, Allison Cameron. This was right around the time that he'd discovered she was at best a B- student in Physical Chemistry. She'd asked for him to recommend a tutor, and he'd come up with a better deal. He'd tutor her and proof all her homework assignments if she helped him best Allison Cameron. Remy had been intrigued.
He'd been scheming to learn the sorority's secret handshake for two years now. Remy didn't quite understand why he cared, but she was starting to see that House needed to know everything. Just the fact that it was a secret seemed to be enough to bait him.
He'd slept with about 30% of the Beta-Kappa's and gotten another 50% completely wasted, but no amount of pheromones or PBR had gotten a girl to betray the inner sanctity of the Beta bond. He had also learned somewhere along the way that sororities kept "man files," and that his was not pretty.
He'd tasked Remy with steeling his undoubtedly awful file and replacing it with something slightly more flattering. (He'd specifically requested that the term "well-endowed" be used.) House promised if she got the file and the handshake, he'd even apply to TA Organic Chemistry next semester, so he could keep checking her reports before she actually handed them in.
"Well, I made it this far." She said, pulling her hair into a half ponytail so it wouldn't fall into her eyes. House quickly yanked the rubber band right out of her hair.
"Like you could have done it alone." He scoffed. "I picked out that dress you're wearing and basically taught you to be a woman." She chuckled. He had picked out her dress. She'd been too busy working on the damn lab report he just destroyed to buy tea party attire.
"You do seem to know a lot about being a woman." She smirked.
"I'd do much more than go dress shopping to get even with Allison Cameron." House sneered.
"All this because she beat you out for that research position?" Remy raised an eyebrow.
"And for the top grade in physics, and for telling all the baby Betas that I have herpes…" He listed, trailing off at the end to let Remy know there was a long line of humiliating defeats. Remy couldn't help but chuckle. She'd yet to actually meet this Allison Cameron, but she was starting to think that she might end up liking House's arch nemesis.
"Here, it was a gift from your grandmother." House produced a necklace from his pocket. It was a thin silver chain with a teardrop shaped sapphire.
"Why?" Remy asked, stepping in front of her mirror to put on the necklace. It perfectly complimented both her eyes and her dress. It was shockingly thoughtful.
"Allison wears an emerald cut just like this around her neck. She said it was a gift passed down from her great grandmother. Consider it a bonding tool." Remy put a hand to the necklace. It was beautiful.
"This looks expensive, House." Remy said, turning towards him.
"It was worth it." He came over and tugged her dress in a few places. "And you know I make big bucks as a TA."
Remy chuckled, as House gave her a final once over. "Remember, you're looking for some close friends, you had oh-so-many life changing years of idyllic summers at camp whatever-the-fuck somewhere in upstate anywhere, and you have no relatives in Greek life whatsoever. Eat anything they give to you, never ask to use the bathroom, and casually slip in something overly personal during every conversation. It gives a false sense of trust, if you notice them doing it to you then you're golden."
"Something personal?" Remy didn't like the sound of that.
"Someone will compliment you on your dress, smile like a southern belle and tell them that you love to shop but you're never quite sure what looks best on you since you were raised by a single father." House explained.
"Jesus, you're good." Remy responded. Her eyes widened a moment later. "How did you know that? We only met a month ago, and I know I didn't tell you."
"Three family pictures in this room, your mom only appears in one of them and it looks about ten years old. You also own less shoes than I do." He smirked.
"You're the creepiest." She shook her head. He handed her the small cross-body bag sitting on her desk, and put his hands on her shoulders.
"Remember, under no circumstances are you to talk about spirituality, sexuality, politics, or paychecks. If you run out of things to say ask her why she joined Beta, what charitable crap she's into, or advice on just about anything." He imparted his final wisdom. Remy shook his hands from her shoulders and nodded. "My baby girl is all grown up."
"Suck my dick, House." Remy rolled her eyes and approached the door.
"Good, get the vulgarity out of your system." He let her comment brush by him, "and speaking of getting things out of your system." He pulled her away from the door to the hallway and pushed her in front of the bathroom door. "You have forty minutes in that house. Wasting even a minute of it to pee is considered disrespectful."
Remy gave him an annoyed look before slipping into her bathroom.
"What happens if anyone asks if I know you?" Remy asked, exiting the bathroom a few moments later. House held open the door into the common hallway.
"You totally do. I'm that uber cute TA in one of your super hard pre-med classes." He said in a prissy girl voice.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." She took a deep breath, and they stepped into the elevator at the end of the hallway.
"I promised I'd get you an A in two of the hardest pre-med classes here. It'll pay off ten fold two years from now when you're starting med school apps. Trust me." He pushed her through the elevator doors, and into first floor of the dorm. Girls in summer dresses overwhelmed the small hallway. They were all undoubtedly on their way to the same block of Greek houses as Remy.
"I'll call you later tonight." Remy gave House a final terrified look. "You owe me pizza for putting me in pastels." House nodded and flashed her a cock grin as the elevator doors slid shut.