Another humour fic based off of an idea that I got after my friends were messing around again, so all credit goes to them, and Cassandra Clare, I guess…. Anyway, it's based a few years after the books, and everyone's doing great, you know, life wise, and it's about to get a lot better for them very soon! Usual cannon pairings and no real warnings, except maybe an overuse of the colour pink?
It was past 1 o'clock at in the morning, when Alec finally got home from a long day of his normal shadowhunter-ey duties. His whole body ached, and even though the izrates had been applied he knew that almost the whole of his right arm would be bruised from where he had fallen on it earlier in the day while training with Jace. Almost in a haze he staggered into the living room flinging himself down on the couch, eyes closed as he waited for the peace of the room to be shattered by his fabulously glittery boyfriend, Magnus Bane.
But it was when, after almost a minute there was still only the gentle swell of Tchaikovsky flowing quietly through the flat that Alec dredged himself up from the comfortable seat on the couch to look around the room. He instantly regretted it. Groaning quietly he rubbed his forehead before daring to peek at the garish room once again. Everything was pink. And sparkly. The glitter refracting the light till it looked like a thousand mini constellations on the walls, which moved and flashed with every minuscule movement like the ripples in a river. This was very effective at giving Alec a headache.
Alec had built up quite a large tolerance towards all the different trends and styles that invaded their house on a regular basis, even to the point of not being surprised that the whole room could change completely in the time it took him to go to the bathroom. It was only now, when their normally comfortable living room looked like one of Izzy's make-up bags had exploded all over the place that he had to interfere.
"You agree with me, don't you?" Alec muttered helplessly to the cat Chairman Meow, who was dressed to the nines in a glittery pink suit- who was looking quite content despite it all- before quietly slipping out of the living room in search of Magnus.
It didn't take long to find Magnus, who had excited blue sparks flying from his fingers as he redecorated their bedroom in glitter and pink, switching the lovely minimalistic bed in the centre of the room for a neon pink bed, so sparkly it physically made Alec wince. Squashing down his slight revulsion Alec dared to inch closer. "Hey, Magnus. What you doing?" Alec asked tentatively.
"Alec!" Magnus cried out, a guilty tang evident in his voice as the warlock whirled around to face his boyfriend. "You weren't supposed to be home till at least midnight…" Magnus said trailing off as he glanced at the fuzzy pink clock on the wall which showed it was already past half one in the morning.
"Yeah, I just got back." Alec said quietly as he tried to get used to the amount of pink invading his senses- somehow even the room smelled pink, like strawberries and whipped cream.
"Well, then, I guess I should wish you a happy anniversary, my little cupcake." Magnus purred, gently moving the hair out of Alec's eyes before kissing him slowly, reluctantly pulling back to see the shadowhunters reaction.
"Anniversary?" Alec sputtered, acutely aware he had no idea about what Magnus was talking about, only that it was obviously quite a big deal for the warlock.
"Why yes, my sweet little sugar puff, of course it's our anniversary- that's why I decorated the whole apartment in pink." Magnus said matter-of-factly, as if it was just as good a reason as any other as to why their whole house looked like a unicorn had thrown up everywhere.
"I was slightly curious about the colour scheme this time." Alec said, not able to find it in himself to start an argument over something Magnus had put so much effort into to try and make him happy.
"Well, this particular shade of pink is actually called 'sexy pink'" Magnus said wiggling his eyebrows comically before dragging Alec out of the bedroom to give him a complete tour of their new and improved apartment.
Every wall was covered in the dark shade of pink apparently known as 'sexy pink' while the furniture ranged from light pastel pink to almost purple pink. Even the kitchen hadn't been able to escape the wrath of Magnus's pink rampage. Alec was fine with the pink sink, and the cooker which only burned with a pink flame, but then he saw the fridge, and he had to object.
"Magnus, is this really the most sensible of fridges?" Alec said tentatively, trying not to hurt the over excited warlock's feelings.
"Well, there were some less furry fridges but I thought that this one looked the most exciting." Magnus said, peering at the fridge quizzically.
"But don't you think that the fur will go in the food, and keep the food warm." Alec pressed.
"No. I put a spell on it so that the fur won't be a problem, not that we ever cook, anyway." Magnus said, before relenting when he saw the look in Alec's eyes. "Fine, but we're choosing blind here Lightwood- I hope you're prepared."
All Alec could do was nod vigorously while trying to hide his smirk from the adorably grumpy warlock.
With a spark of blue the fridge morphed from a furry, pink abomination, into one that was almost as bad.
The new fridge, while sporting no fur, now had antlers. The antlers came out of the top of the fridge, and stood almost three feet above where the actual fridge ended. "I like this one!" Magnus said contemplating the idea of it coming in pink so it wouldn't stand out so much, before glancing back to see Alec's bemused expression. "Fine then, maybe not."
This time the fridge was just a cooler box, which was gone before the blue smoke from the spell had even cleared properly. The next didn't work-emitting a strange odour that they didn't care to figure out, and the one after that had mouldy food inside, both received no votes, surprisingly.
The next fridge that turned up was indeed pink, but covered with images so obscene that Alec turned his own shade of pink. But it was the one after that which had Magnus mortified. Not only was the fridge repaired with colours that did not match the room or each other-red and orange, seriously? But on the front of the fridge there was a tiger's head. The eyes glassy and the mouth snarling, Magnus turned away from the offensive fridge to cling onto Alec. Alec hugged Magnus back tightly, slightly shocked as to why a person would have a tiger's head on their fridge. Even as he muttered soothing words to Magnus he never took his eyes off of the tiger head, it was unnerving to have something with eyes so much like Magus's hanging dead as an ornament on such a mundane item. After few moments Magnus clicked his fingers, kissing Alec passionately before whispering into the shadowhunter's ear. "Whatever this new fridge, we're keeping it, al-right?" he said, before slowly turning around to see the fridge that they would be keeping for at least a day. It was perfect.
It was a pale pink, with white polka dots dotting the fridge randomly, it worked and was clean. But they didn't have any time to finish the rest of their tour around the apartment because Alec's phone began to ring. Cursing he fished it out of his pocket to see that it was Jace calling. With only a slight hesitation he flipped the phone open so he could answer it, Magnus would understand, you can't just ignore your parabatai.
"We've got a bit of a situation." Jace said almost immediately, not even bothering with a hello.
"What type of situation?" Alec replied almost straight away.
"Fridges" Jace said, in a bemused voice.
"Well normally when you need a new fridge you go and buy one Jace, you can't just demand Magnus's help in fixing you up such a mundane item for no real reason." Alec said, slightly frustrated by the interruption for what seemed like no apparent reason.
"No, we do not need a new fridge; in fact it seems that we are in abundance of fridges." Jace said, muttering a curse under his breath as a crash could be heard in the background.
"Oh" Was Alec's only reply.
"Yeah I thought that you would have something to do with it, so get over here and fix it."
"Wait, where are you?"
"Clary's house" Was the only reply before the line was cut.
Looking over to Magnus, the warlock rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, one of your shadowhunter friends needs our help again."
"Yes, but this time I think it was our fault." Alec said, going back into the bedroom to try and find a jacket.
"It was? How?" Magnus enquired, handing Alec a sparkly pink sweatshirt that he fished out of the closet.
Only hesitating slightly, Alec threw the baggy hoodie on, wincing slightly when some of the glitter fell off of the jumper and into his hair. While he was still trying to get the glitter out of his hair, Magnus walked over and mussed his hair up, before kissing him chastely and walking over to the wall to create a portal. It was then that Alec's jaw dropped. Magnus was wearing what seemed to be a matching pink hoodie, and on the back in hot pink, curly writing it said; I'm a hot mess…
Gulping Alec began twisting around, trying to see if it said the same thing on his shirt, before Magnus turned off the lights and dragged him towards the portal, the writing on his back illuminating the otherwise dark room. Alec was about to object, before Magnus pulled him into the portal and they were off.
As the rushing wind and flashing colours dissipated, Alec bent his knees, ready for impact, only to stumble and fall anyway, when only one foot landed on solid ground. Arms flailing, he tried to execute a forward flip, only of his foot to once again hit another object, sending him crashing towards the ground once again.
Closing his eyes he braced himself to hit the floor, only cracking his eyes open when after a few seconds he had still not hit the floor. Smiling down at him was Magnus, who had caught Alec mid-air, before landing on the ground with Alec still safely in his arms. The warlock had a goofy smile on his face, as he straightened up, leaning in for another kiss before a familiar voice interrupted them.
Lying on the floor a few feet away from the couple was Jace, he was rubbing the back of his head, as he lay sprawled out in the dirt next to a horrendously fuzzy pink fridge. "Nice to see you guys too." He said grumpily, picking himself up off of the floor before walking over to them. "You know I think I must be hallucinating because you two seem to be wearing matching pink sparkly jumpers."
"Actually we are, Lightwood." Magnus said haughtily, setting Alec down gently when the shadowhunter squirmed slightly in his arms.
"Jace, what's the problem." Alec said quickly dusting himself off, trying to retain as much of his dignity as he possibly could.
"Well you just landed on one of them." Jace replied, motioning over at the familiar fuzzy pink fridge with was lying haphazardly on the grass of Luke's front lawn.
"Did Clary finally have enough of you then?" Magnus said, hands on hips. "I can understand why, the poor little thing has had to deal with you for long enough as it is."
"Actually we were calling because it seems like your kitchen is falling down around Clary's house." Jace said. "And stop trying to kid yourself Magnus; you'd totally go for me if you could." Smirking he sent both Magnus and Alec a quick wink before beginning to walk round the side of the house.
"Yea about twenty minutes ago all of these fridges began falling out of the sky, and while we appreciate the sentiment we don't really feel like re-decorating so late at night." Jace said, jerking his head towards the haphazardly placed fridges all over the side walk.
"Well, you're obviously not as time efficient as us then are you?" Magnus said, eyeing all of the fridges which were only just recently departed from their sparkly pink kitchen uptown.
"And you're all about efficiency are you?" Jace enquired with a raised eyebrow. "Because the last time I check there were still dozens of fridges all over the place."
"Don't you worry your cute little ass about anything my dear Jace, I'll take care of the fridges lickety-split." Magnus said, snapping his fingers so that all of the fridges disappeared in a puff of blue smoke. "And you can come talk to me about efficiency as soon as Clary gets her own stamina rune." Magnus said, only stopping when Alec hit him lightly on the shoulder, red faced.
"Magnus, it's late, can we go home now?" Alec said, trying to stifle a yawn as he leaned slightly onto his boyfriend in his attempt to stop the undeniably embarrassing sass fight before it got out of hand.
"I see that oh so special stamina rune is working a treat." Jace snarked as Magnus petted Alec on the head, before putting his arm around his boyfriend and steering him over to the patch of earth where they had first appeared.
"Don't worry we'll re-apply it when we get home sweetums." Magnus cooed as he created a portal that they stepped into, leaving Jace without even a goodbye.
Grinning ear to ear Jace began walking back to the house, where Clary stood leaning in the doorway, mug of hot chocolate clasped in both hands.
Letting out a burst of bubbly laughter, she passed him one of the hot chocolates before beginning to move back into the dimly lit house.
"Did Alec notice?" Clary whispered.
"Nope." Jace said, smirking as he leaned in for a kiss.
Blinking he jerked back as the room flooded with the warm glow of the lamp being turned on. Turning around he saw a very bemused looking Luke, who had one hand on his hip and the other pointed towards the door.
"We'll see you in the morning Jace." Luke said, leaving no room for an argument, steering Clary towards the stairs before walking with Jace towards the door.
"Just for future reference, Shadowhunter, it's quite difficult to pull one over on a werewolf." Luke said, murmuring "Nighty night" before closing the door silently, leaving Jace out in the brisk night-time air.
Stumbling into the living room through the portal, Alec collapsed onto the couch, exhaustion finally getting the better of him. Stretching out on the couch, he pulled a pillow over his face to block out the bright light coming from the nearby lamp, only to groan when he heard Magnus cough impatiently.
Groggily he flailed about on the couch, moaning and covering his eyes when Chairman Meow pawed the pillow onto the floor. Leaning up he blinked a few times, before sitting ramrod straight, eyes wide as he looked around the apartment.
The room looked beautiful. The walls were white, dotted here and there with pictures of the two on their recent endeavours-including one picture of Magnus in a sari. The floor was black wood panelling; cool to the touch it reflected the light dully. All of the furniture was chic and modern, all dark blues, blacks or whites; minimalistic and simple just to Alec's taste. In the distance he could hear his favourite song playing softly.
"Magnus, Magnus this is beautiful…" Alec began, before trailing off as his eyes landed on the warlock.
Magnus knelt in front of the couch, giddy smile on his face as he held out his right hand. "Alec Lightwood, will you marry me?" Magnus said, softly, cat eyes glowing with love.
Sliding off of the couch Alec knelt in front of Magnus, taking the warlocks head in both hands he kissed him passionately, before touching foreheads and whispering yes, over and over again.
Leaning back Magnus gently took the black stone ring out of its case before slipping it onto Alec's ring finger. As it settled into place it seemed to flash a dark blue, like a river flowing through the dark stone.
Even as Alec watched the ring memorised he saw the blue flash and twist through middle of the rings, with silver patterns etched on top, which on closer inspection turned out to be the shadowhunter runes of love and marriage.
"The blue is my magic." Magnus whispered, placing his own on his finger. "To connect us in the same way as the runes would if I could get them."
"I love you Alec Lightwood- I mean Bane." Magnus threw in with a sly look on his face.
"I love you too, Magnus Bane-Lightwood" Alec said firmly, smirking as the warlock began to protest playfully.
"Now that's not fair no one is going to say the Bane part now are they?"
Holding up a finger, he silenced Magnus by leaning in for a kiss, before his phone rang once again.
Groaning, Alec looked down at his phone, pressing ignore when he saw Jace's name pop up. "Now, where were we?" He asked, before the phone once again started ringing.
"Damn you Jace." Alec growled into the phone.
"Why hello to you too my lovely ray of sunshine"
"What do you want Jace, and be quick." Alec said, wincing when he saw that it was now about three in the morning.
"Can you buzz us up please? It's quite cold out here." Jace replied cheerily, as if he always visited at this time in the morning.
"No."
"Alec Lightwood you will open this door right now unless you want me to come up there and kick your ass." A very grumpy Izzy growled through the phone.
Ending the call Alec looked back at Magnus, with a pleading look making his round blue eyes look even more adorable, until the Warlock got up to open the door, grumbling under his breath. "I throw all of this together, and you can't even be bothered to get your ass up off the floor?"
Within a matter of seconds their beautiful loft apartment was flooded with his overexcited friends and family, all of which were way too hyper for three o'clock in the morning.
After everyone was done with congratulating the pair, the music began to turn up, with various neon coloured beverages being passed around the small crowd. Magnus and Alec detached slightly from the middle of the room when everyone began talking and dancing, sitting down in the love-seat in a contented silence until Jace walked over.
"Can I please speak to Magnus Bane please?" Jace said in a clipped voice, hands on hips.
"Jace, we're kinda busy." Alec pressed, motioning over to the party from his position on Magnus's lap.
"I know, this will only take a second." Jace said patiently. "Now, can I please speak to Magnus Bane-?"
"Magnus Bane speaking- and you do realise that I'm right here, don't you Shadowhunter?"
"Could you kindly explain why my room is filled with about a hundred fridges?" Jace said patiently, blatantly ignoring the warlocks last comment.
"Yes, I thought it would be a nice surprise for you when you got home." Magnus dead panned.
"Well I would deeply appreciate it if you could get rid of them."
"Too bad, I'm busy"
"I don't accept that excuse!" Jace said indignantly, the thought of his room so messy finally getting the better of him.
"Official consulting times are between eight and five every other Thursday"
Sighing Alec buried his head into Magnus's neck, too tired to be bothered with their incessant sass fight. Intoxicated by the smell of brimstone and exotic spices he began to drift to sleep, the music fading until the only sound he could hear was the sound of his and Magnus's hearts beating in harmony.
Well I hope you guys liked that, because I will probably be making this a two-shot so remember to favourite, follow are review!