Gojyo

"Damn. How long is this gonna' take?" I sighed and blew a burst of smoke up into the air.

"Quit your bitching. It's not like you're not doing anything." Smoke from his cigarette mixed with mine.

"You've got a lot of nerve saying something like that, Lord Sanzo—you never do anything. You're lazier than I am."

"Gojyo, no one's lazier than you—I'm just above doing the manual labor."

Finally, I turned to glare at him. He'd been on my nerves all morning, "What'dya' mean, 'no one's lazier than me'?"

"Exactly what it sounds like it means."

"You're a real dick, you know that, Sanzo!"

He gave me a sharp look, "Better than being a limp dick."

"Hey!" I got up from my seat on the bench. We were sitting outside the little indoor market Hakkai and Goku had vanished into about an hour ago, mostly because we weren't allowed to smoke inside. "You wanna' take this to a whole new level? Those're fightin' words, Sanzo!"

Sanzo turned away, a foppish expression on his face, "You're too lazy to fight me."

"The hell I am! I'm not above kicking your girly ass!"

He glared again, "Or maybe I'll just kill you!"

"Death threats this early in the morning?" Hakkai appeared over my left shoulder, carrying a few bags of groceries, a frown seeming to wrinkle his whole face. "Goodness, you two, we're not even in the car yet."

"This guy's pushin' my buttons." I grumbled.

"Perhaps you simply have too many buttons to push."

I glared at him, but he just ignored it and shoved a pair of bags into my arms, almost making me drop my cigarettes, "You don't mind carrying these, do you?"

"What about him?"

"Hm?" My best friend cocked an eyebrow at me, "Oh, Sanzo? I've long since given up on attempting to make him carry anything. He's not much use as a beast of burden, I'm afraid."

There was a hidden insult in there somewhere, directed at me, but with Hakkai there always was, so I focused on the blatant insult he'd given Sanzo, and smirked over at the monk, "Not much use, huh?"

"I'm going to kill you both. Hakkai, where the hell is the monkey?"

"Goku? Well he was just," Hakkai turned to look behind him, and stared at the empty spot for a while, "behind me. That's strange. Where could he have gone?"

"You lost him?"

"Now, now, Sanzo, I'm sure he's nearby."

"Great." I snorted, doing my best to dispose of my cigarette and light a new one with the bags in my hands, "Now we've gotta' wait for him. Unless you wanna' go look for him, Sanzo."

Sanzo muttered a few curses under his breath, "God dammit. Come on."

I lingered a second as the went on ahead, still focusing on trying to get my cigarette lit, but I was starting to think the lighter was dead, "Hey, Sanzo, wait up a sec. Help a guy out?"

He gave me that all-too-familiar look of frustration and disgust, like he couldn't believe I actually had the gall to ask him to condescend to help me. "I don't have lighter fluid to waste on you."

"Oh, c'mon you tightass! I light your damn cigarette all the time!"

"Hn. So?"

"SO? SO! You should return the favor!"

Sanzo actually came back to me—he was actually going to do it. It was incredible. Unbelievable. A miracle even.

Goku's voice broke the perfection of the moment, "Sanzo! Sanzo, look!"

He'd come up behind me without my realizing it, running by holding twice as many bags as I had, and rammed me with his shoulder on the way past. I'm sure it was an accident, but the results were still catastrophic.

The impact knocked me off balance, and I found myself falling forward, unable to use my arms to get my balance or stop myself.

I fell right into Sanzo, who wasn't quite quick enough to get out of the way, and the next thing I knew, we were on the ground, me on top of him, all the groceries I'd been holding scattered on the ground, and my face was just inches from Sanzo's.

His eyes got so big I probably would have laughed if the circumstances were different, and if I hadn't been certain that the look on my face was exactly the same.

For just a moment, we were stuck like that, neither of us able to move fast enough, and it seemed like a long time passed, like I couldn't get up, and in the back of my mind I perceived that since I was the one on him it was up to me to get us out of this incredibly awkward situation. I was also sure I couldn't move fast enough.

"Get off you bastard!" He shoved my chest in a futile attempt to get away from me, and I let loose a horrified scream, jumped up and backed away from him, running right into Hakkai.

Sanzo scrambled up too and got as far from me as he could, glaring at me the whole time, like he thought I'd done it on purpose. "What the hell is your problem, Gojyo?"

"My problem? You think that was my fault?"

"Of course it was! Don't tell me you're so dense you can't realize that!"

"It was the monkey!"

"Light your own damn cigarette from now on, you stupid, good-for-nothing Kappa!"

It took me a second to realize my best friend was laughing. "Well, I've heard of kiss and make up before, but I think you two are taking it a bit to the extreme."

I turned to scowl at him, "Oy!"

Goku laughed a little too, "Sorry 'bout that, Gojyo."

"Sorry." I snorted. "What the hell were you so excited for in the first place?"

"Oh yeah! It's really cool—there's this guy over there givin' out free samples, an I wanna' go get some! Can we, Sanzo? Can we please? Pleeaase?"

"We don't have time for that. We have to keep moving."

"But why not? It's free!"

Forget it, Goku," I said, kneeling down to help Hakkai gather the groceries I'd dropped, "You wouldn't want to waste any of Holy Sanzo's precious time with something as trite as free food."

"You just shut up!" Sanzo ordered, "I don't want to hear another word out of you for the rest of the day!"

"What the hell did I do?"

"I'm not wasting my time explaining it to you. Let's just move out." He turned and started to walk away, even when we were still trying to collect the food scattered on the ground.

"That high and mighty asshole." I muttered. "What I wouldn't give to put his light's out."

"Don't let it bother you so much." Hakkai advised softly. He always had some kind of advice, but it wasn't always worth listening to.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Sanzo's under a lot of pressure, whether we realize it or not."

"Pressure?" I laughed. "He never does anything, Hakkai—he's always making us do all the dirty work while he just sits back and smokes!"

"Perhaps it seems that way, but think about it, Gojyo. Sanzo is in charge of this whole mission; everything is up to him, and with the things that have been going wrong lately, I think it only makes sense that he's beginning to feel some stress. After all, the closer we get to Houtou castle, the more dangers we'll face—the entire mission hangs in a very delicate balance, and it's up to Sanzo to make sure that nothing disturbs it. Do you understand?"

I snorted unsympathetically, but thought it over for a second. As much as being under Sanzo's thumb sucked, I guess I knew deep inside that it would suck a lot worse to be in charge of this whole quest. As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help feeling just a little understanding for the asshole. "I guess."

"I certainly wouldn't want to be Sanzo." Hakkai said, putting the last apple into the bag and standing up, "Well, we'd better get moving. It wouldn't do to get lost in a town this large."

I followed him, still thinking it over. How like Hakkai to try to see it from everyone's side; and how like him to make me see it the other way too. He was always good for that.

We caught up to Goku and Sanzo, and I kept thinking about what Hakkai had said. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. On top of being in charge of this incredibly stressful journey, Sanzo had to put up with the three of us and all our bullshit. He had to be our fearless leader, even when any one of us could probably rip him apart. For some reason, I started to feel the slightest pang of guilt for being such a pain in the ass, which wasn't normal at all. There was probably something wrong with me.

Whether there was something wrong with me or not, I felt the strangest need to apologize, so I waited until Hakkai and Goku were distracted-Hakkai was picking out fruit from a vendor, and Goku was drooling over food-and approached Sanzo, who was leaning against a nearby wall, puffing his cigarette and looking like he didn't know any of us.

There has to be somethin' wrong with me. I thought, as I approached him. But it was too late to stop myself. Whatever had gotten into me wasn't going to just go away, so I went over and stood beside him, folding my arms and leaning back, trying to decide what I should say—it wasn't every day I apologized to Sanzo, let alone sincerely. I cleared my throat.

He just stared straight ahead, blowing smoke from his nose.

Convinced that he simply hadn't heard me, I cleared it again, a little louder this time, but still he didn't give a reaction.

I don't know why I did what I did next. When I look back I can easily see that it was a huge mistake-probably the biggest mistake I'd made all day-but at the time it just felt right. I leaned over and just sort of casually hung my arm off his shoulder. I didn't hook it around his neck. It wasn't like I tried to pull him into a hug or lean on him or anything. I just sort of rested my right forearm on his left shoulder. "Hey, Sanzo, I-"

Sanzo reacted immediately, shoving me off. He turned on me, looking angry and disgusted, "Goddammit, Kappa! How many times do I have to say it before it gets through your thick skull? Don't touch me like we're friends!"

I have no idea why I was surprised—it was a typical reaction, one I'd gotten before, but for some reason it startled me, and then the surprise turned to offense. It was bad enough that he was acting like I wasn't good enough to touch him, but the fact that I'd been intending to apologize and he'd shut me down just added insult to injury. "Hey, man, calm down!"

"I don't see what's so hard to understand about I don't want you touching me, ever, for any reason."

"What is your problem? I was just-"

"Gojyo, if I were dying, and you were the last person alive, I wouldn't want you to even touch me so you could bury me!"

Ok. That was really harsh. A lot harsher than I was willing to put up with. I mean, telling me 'hey man, I don't want to be touched', was one thing, but acting like it was denigrating for me to touch him was on a whole different level of insulting. It made my temper snap at once.

"Believe me, I wouldn't waste my time digging you a grave!"

"And I would never want to die in your presence in the first place!"

"What the fuck is your problem, Sanzo?"

"I thought you knew—you're my problem! So why don't you just shut your disgusting mouth and get the hell away from me before I put a bullet between your eyes!"

Steadily, all the sense Hakkai had made earlier, and all the sympathy I'd wasted on Sanzo, was draining away, replaced by rage. "You have got to be the biggest asshole I have ever met!"

"And you're the biggest idiot I've ever seen!"

"Fuck you! If you were dying in front of me, I'd just laugh in your face! I'd dance on your grave and go on my way!"

"Yeah, that sounds like you—immoral piece of shit!"

Hakkai and Goku had noticed us arguing by now and were standing there, just listening. After a moment, Hakkai attempted to interrupt, "Sanzo, Gojyo, you-"

Furious, I grabbed Sanzo by the front of his robe, jerking him forward, "Look Sanzo, I have no idea why you have a giant pole up your ass, if it's your daddy issues acting up or what, but I've had it up to here with you taking it out on me!"

Bad choice of words. But I wanted to get under his skin. I wanted to throw something in his face—anything I could think of.

Sanzo socked me in the stomach, right below the ribs, knocking the wind out of me, and growled, "In that case, maybe it's your mommy issues that make you so disgusting!"

Angrier than ever, I returned the blow, hitting him right in the face and knocking him to the side.

"Hey!" Goku yelled, "Cut it out! Both of you!"

But we were already involved in a full-scale fistfight. Sanzo came back at me, swinging another fist that connected curtly with my chin and snapped my head back. For a guy in a man-dress he really had a rough right hook.

I kicked him back in the chest and jumped on him, fisting my hand in his collar again and getting a hit in on his face before he managed to wrench away and take a swipe at my head.

I ducked under the blow and spun around, trying to roundhouse kick him in the jaw, but he was able to catch my ankle just in time and toss me.

I stumbled into a vegetable cart, knocking it over and breaking some of the apparatus, but I didn't let it slow me down, launched back at him, bashing him once in the eye with my elbow.

"You sunnova bitch!"

Sanzo threw himself at me, grabbing me around the chest and dragging me down. His knee dug into my side as he sat astride me, trying to pin me and punch me at the same time.

I bucked him off and scrambled after him, catching the hem of his robe and putting my fist in his mouth. I got a knuckle sandwich of my own in return, and a knee in the ribs. Sputtering, and coughing, I clenched my abdomen. Sanzo beat me down with one quick, karate chop to the back of my neck, and then I was choking on dust as he kicked me in the side.

People were gathering to watch by this time, murmuring and yelling. I heard some of them cheering, picking one of us out to root for: 'Go blonde guy!' 'Kick his ass, Red!' Things like that. There was also Goku and Hakkai somewhere in the background, but I couldn't make out what they were saying.

Screaming obscenities, I rolled to my feet and went at Sanzo again, grabbing his head and smashing it back against the wall of a building.

The monk crumpled at my feet, but I knew he wasn't out. A second later, he'd kicked my feet out from under me and we were wrestling around again, creating a thick cloud of dust in the air, and doing our best to put each other's lights out. He knocked some of my teeth loose, and I got his nose good so it started gushing blood.

I had just gotten the advantage, and was sitting on his chest, busting him over and over, when someone came up behind me and grabbed me under the arms, dragging me off Sanzo.

"Mother fucking son of a fucking bitch! Leme' go asshole!"

Sanzo took the opportunity to spring to his feet and come at me again, face and robes smeared with blood and dirt, knuckles busted open, those purple eyes filled with unholy rage.

I yelled again and tried to wrench away from Hakkai, but he spun around and Sanzo's blow glanced off his shoulder instead.

Goku got between the three of us, trying to keep Sanzo back, "Hey! Hey! Sanzo! Hey, wait!"

"Get the hell outta' the way, Goku! I'll kill him!"

"Eat my ass, Sanzo!" I screamed, noticing for the first time that there was blood gushing from above my left eyebrow. It stung my eye as it made the long trip down to my chin. "Hakkai, let me go!"

Hakkai hissed in my ear, "Not until you calm down."

"I am calm!" I snapped.

He sighed, "If you try attacking Sanzo I'll be the one to knock you in the dirt. Do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear." I growled.

Reluctantly, he let go, and pushed me forward a little.

Immediately, I spun around and took a few steps toward Sanzo, who was still pacing back and forth, trying to find a way around Goku, but Hakkai put a hand on my shoulder.

"Gojyo."

"It's fine," I wiped a thread of blood off my chin.

"Fine my ass." Sanzo snorted, coming forward a good three or four feet before Goku could stop him.

"I suggest you both take the proverbial chill pill and stop acting like a pair of school children." Hakkai's voice was cold as ice, "You may not have noticed, but this is not a playground."

For the first time I noticed the onlookers-really noticed them-and the fact that they'd formed a circle around us, staring in morbid fascination. Some of the women looked worried, and most of the old men were shaking their heads in disapproval, and I felt a vague wave of shame for starting a riot in the street, but I pointed at Sanzo, "He started it!"

"Me? I distinctly remember a certain stupid someone coming over and invading my private space when I was just minding my own damn business!"

"Well I distinctly remember that you took the first swing! I was just defending myself!"

"Enough, both of you!" Hakkai shouted. "It's bad enough that we have to spend every spare moment fighting off youkai without fighting each other too."

"I can end the fight easily enough." Sanzo said, that cruel smile gracing his face, and he made a gun with his hand, pointed it at me, and pretended to fire it. "That would take care of the roach infestation."

"Go ahead and try it asshole."

"Sanzo." Hakkai said reproachfully.

The self-righteous bastard kept glaring at me with fire in his eyes, and I was satisfied to see that I'd messed his pretty face up good.

Of course, I couldn't see what he'd done to my own pretty face.

"Now," Hakkai continued, "I suggest we all go to the inn and try to put all this behind us."

That should have been good enough for me; after all, it wasn't like he was asking us to shake hands or anything stupid like that, but when I thought about going to the inn and just going through the motions like nothing had happened, and putting up with Sanzo for a few more hours, or even for just another minute, my blood boiled, and I just couldn't stand the idea. It made me want to jump on him again and break his nose and every bone in his body.

I opted for something better. I turned around, pushing my way through the crowd that had gathered, and just left, not caring about where I went or how long I was gone. I was just sick to death of Sanzo, and I really couldn't stand the thought of being anywhere near him just then.

That stupid prick had insulted me for the last time.

"Gojyo!" I heard Hakkai call after me, but I ignored him. I was too angry to put up with any of this.

That's what I got for being understanding—God I was stupid.

I stormed away from the crowd, spitting out mouthfuls of blood and wiping it off my face, feeling the burn of it on my forehead and cheeks. I saw that the skin on the backs of my two outer knuckles was broken, and blood was streaking the back of my hand. I rubbed my chin with the back of my wrist and cursed under my breath, kept walking away from the market, back down the main business street. Most of the shops were unattended at the moment—I guess they had all gone to watch my fight with Sanzo.

The town we were in now was peaceful enough, but there were telltale signs of youkai attacks. Graves on the outskirts of the village, damaged property, houses with busted windows, and everyone had that same, fearful look in their faces. A cold, chilling look that only hinted at the hell they'd seen. There was a pretty big group of youkai living nearby, probably picking off humans when they wandered too far from home, or coming into the town to take what they wanted whenever they felt like it. We'd had to deal with them on our way in, of course, but I didn't think we'd finished the whole clan off. There were probably quite a few more, and that meant a potential attack tonight or tomorrow.

Not a good time or place to be wandering around alone.

I lit a cigarette and kept walking, turning to go down the business district, the opposite direction of the inn we'd seen earlier. The smoke helped to calm me down, but I couldn't get the taste of blood out of my mouth.

I walked a long ways, up toward the high-class neighborhoods where the houses were a little bigger and the people looked down their noses at me. I passed a few bars, but I didn't want to stop and drink, because I knew if I got drunk the anger would go away and be replaced with giddiness, so I passed them by with only a second glance, and kept going.

Eventually I came to a wide, peaceful river that divided the town right down the middle. The upper class houses on one side, and the buildings across the way ramshackle and abandoned looking. Windows and doors were boarded up, and everything looked to be in ill repair. I didn't see any sign of human life there, and it occurred to me that that might have been where the youkai of this village had lived before the calamity. Naturally segregated from the humans by this river.

I went and sat on the arched, stone bridge for a while, staring down into the water and smoking cigarette after cigarette as I thought.

Two halves of the same city: part human, part youkai.

Irony chiming in with fate to laugh at me, as usual.

Having to sit there and think about that asshole Sanzo didn't help me at all. I didn't want to think about him ever again, and I definitely didn't want to let anything he'd said bother me.

I was sitting there probably a good thirty minutes before I heard footsteps on the bridge, coming up behind me, and then, before I knew it, Hakkai was sitting there beside me, not speaking or looking at me, just there, gazing out at the water like I was.

I expected him to say something, eventually, but he never did, so it was up to me to break the silence.

"What do you want?"

"I don't want anything." He said simply.

"Ev'rybody always wants somethin'." I muttered, tossing my half-gone cigarette down into the water.

"And of course, I'm just like everyone else."

"Yeah. Sometimes."

He snorted, "If you must know, I came to make sure you aren't hurt, and I find this ungrateful attitude very distasteful, particularly when it was very difficult to locate you."

"Don't waste your time, 'Kai—you're better off checkin' on master Sanzo."

"I've already attended to Sanzo." He added, "You managed to bruise his face pretty well, but he'll be fine, if not a little angry." As if I cared.

"You angry?"

"No. But I find your behavior very childish."

"Right." I snorted.

"I simply don't understand why just after I explained to you why Sanzo might be on edge you purposely went and got into a fight with him. Especially when you seemed to understand."

"I didn't get into a fight with him on purpose, okay?" I lit another cigarette and inhaled deeply, letting the nicotine soothe my nerves. "I was just talking to him and he freaked out on me."

"Ah, but that doesn't sound quite like Sanzo, does it?"

"No. I guess not." It was sort of weird that he'd lost it so quickly, but I didn't care about the reason behind it, and I didn't want to care. The only problem was that Hakkai was going to think I was lying about what had happened.

Let him think what he wants.

"I still don't understand how this happened."

I shrugged, "Sanzo and I fight a lot. Can't believe you haven't noticed that yet."

Hakkai sighed a little, "You do snap at each other back and forth quite a bit, I must admit, but your bickering doesn't often turn into full-blown fights."

"What are you really here for?" I gave him a glare, "Trying to figure out who's to blame?"

"I don't want to blame anyone," he returned softly, "but I don't think it's any secret that you and Sanzo have 'teamwork issues'; normally, I wouldn't complain-I can't expect everyone to get along all the time-you and Sanzo just see the world differently. But I think your behavior needs to be seriously reconsidered if it's going to start affecting all of us."

"Does it affect all of us?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, "It hasn't. Up until this point. But…" he lowered his gaze slightly, "Sanzo is very angry."

"Good."

"It's not good, Gojyo." He said sharply. "Goku and I have put up with your arguments in the past, because they've always been relatively mild, and if you don't want to work out your differences no one's making you, but you could at least attempt to be civil to one another. What happened today was not good for the team as a group: it's discouraging to watch two of your teammates try to kill each other, especially when you know that if they continue to be divided it could cost you, or someone else, their life. Furthermore, it forces us to take sides."

"No one's askin' you to take sides." I snorted.

"You don't have to ask. Normally your arguments with Sanzo are so inane there's no need to take a side, but when you were honestly trying to beat each other senseless…well, I think even you can see the difference."

"Fine. Whose side are you on?"

"That's just the problem. I don't want to take a side, and I shouldn't have to. And Goku shouldn't have to either. Whether or not we always feel it, we are in a life and death situation, and it's not good for our team to be divided like that. For instance, let's say Goku takes Sanzo's side, and I feel obligated to take your side, and then the problems between you and Sanzo persist, and you suddenly decide you don't want to travel together anymore. The whole group splits up, one half going west and the other… well… you see my point."

I sighed, "Why are you even talking to me about this, Hakkai? You're always so damn serious."

His eyes narrowed, "I'm simply stating facts, Gojyo. I want to keep our group together—is that so terrible?"

"Naw. I mean, I get that, but think about it, we're already divided like that. Everybody knows Goku would follow Sanzo to the ends of the earth, and if you took off…I'd go with you."

He looked me in the eyes for a while like he was thinking that over. "Yes. Yes I see." He murmured finally.

"Anyway, you shouldn't worry about it so much, Hakkai. The group's not splitting up. It's not a big deal."

"I hope you're right."

"Have I ever steered you wrong before?"

"Actually, now that you mention it—"

"All right, you. Let's just get outta' here. I'm getting hungry." I stood up, dropping my cigarette at the same time and stomping it out, then jumped back down onto the bridge, beginning to walk away, hands in my jacket pockets.

"Let's just hope Sanzo is willing to feed you after all the trouble you caused." Hakkai agreed, coming after me.

"Ha-ha, very funny, Hakkai."

"Perhaps," he said after a moment, "you shouldn't let the things Sanzo says bother you so much."

"What, are you gonna' tell me he doesn't mean it?" I snorted. "Please."

"I don't think it's a matter of not meaning it so much as maybe he simply doesn't know how to interact with you. I know Sanzo's not much for rules himself, but he did grow up in an atmosphere were everyone around him followed rules and never asked questions, and you're a man who's never been hindered by rules aside from your own, personal limitations—a free spirit. Perhaps the reason you can't get along is something fundamental. You sneer at one another's lifestyles because they're complete opposites, something you can't understand, something so different from your own world you simply can't fathom why the other is comfortable with it."

"Hakkai, you're my total opposite, but I don't hate you for it."

He laughed, "Yes, I suppose we are rather different. I simply have a sense of cleanliness."

"If neuroticism is cleanliness then you're right." I muttered, and then considered his theory for another moment, starting another cigarette. "It's a nice theory, Hakkai, but I guess I don't really give a rat's ass."

"Why am I not surprised?"

I smirked, "You just know me too well."

"Oh dear. That doesn't sound good at all."

We bantered a little all the way back to the inn, just me and my best bud, and even picked up a pack of beer to drink along the way, so by the time we got there I was actually in a pretty good mood and the episode with Sanzo seemed like it was behind me.

That changed as soon as we got there.

"Our room is rather cozy." Hakkai said, as he led the way down the hall. It sounded almost like a warning, like I should be prepared for something.

"What, do we have to share a bed or something?" I joked.

He just laughed, "Something like that."

I didn't like the sound of that at all and was about to ask him to clarify, when he opened the door and I saw first hand what he meant.

The room was on the small side, and there was just one bed and a table. A Goku-sized room, except they'd need to put a bigger table in. Goku and Sanzo were there. Goku was on the bed, toying with Jeep, and Sanzo was at the table nursing a beer. I didn't know what they were doing in our room, and I didn't actually care at the moment either.

"Dibs on the bed." I grinned at Hakkai.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Sanzo snorted. I saw what Hakkai meant about me bruising his face up. His right eye was black and his cheek and lips were swollen.

"We'll be playing cards for the bed, as usual." Hakkai explained.

"Hell. What for? Why don't you just take it and spare me the humiliation."

"Oh, now don't be such a pessimist, Gojyo. Some day you might beat me."

"Right. I'll put it on my bucket list."

"That's going to be a short list." Sanzo muttered.

I couldn't quite ignore that one, so I said, "As long as it's longer than yours."

"Hey." Goku whined, "Where the food? I'm hungry."

"Didn't you order dinner while I was gone?" Hakkai looked at Sanzo.

Sanzo nodded, "Of course I did. It'll be here soon."

"Yaaay!" Goku lifted Jeep up into the air, and the dragon chirped along with him. "We get to eat soon!"

I rolled my eyes and went to sit down beside him, as far from Sanzo as I could get, "Great. Let's have a party. We can play pin the tail on the asshole."

"The question is," Sanzo said, "who's the asshole."

"Exactly. The asshole? Or the asshole who got beat up by the asshole?"

"Now, now you two, let's just have a quiet dinner, if that's not too much to ask."

I shrugged, "Fine by me." And lit a cigarette.

Goku went to open the window.

A little after that, room service brought our food up and we spent a while arguing over that, and when the food was all gone, we gathered around the table and played cards for several hours, and when we got sick of losing to Hakkai I went downstairs to ask about a mahjong set and we played that for a while instead. I actually won that a few times.

All night long, Sanzo threw little barbs and subtle insults my way. At first, I just let them slide off and didn't worry about it, but as time wore on I started to get sort of sick of it and started to toss some back. I could see from the look in his eyes that he was angry, but I didn't care, because I was angry too, and he was the one who couldn't seem to let it go.

Hakkai and Goku started being quiet after a while, like the tension in the room made them nervous, and they exchanged glances a lot. Even though Sanzo and I weren't actually arguing, it was pretty obvious that we were angry at each other. Hakkai probably really wanted to reprimand us or some shit, but he couldn't really do anything about it as long as the argument stayed subtle. A few times though, Goku tried to get us to stop. After being ignored over and over though, he lost his temper, and got up, shouting, "Why don't ya' just knock it off already, you guys? What's wrong with ya'?"

I blew smoke up into the air and looked at him calmly, "What are you talking about, Monkey?"

He didn't like that at all, and he stopped playing mahjong with us and went back to the bed to play with Jeep instead until we decided it was time to see who would get the bed.

That was when I realized for the first time that it wasn't just me and Hakkai who had to figure it out.

"Wait, we're all staying in this room?"

"Yes." My best friend answered simply, his tone suggesting that he had no idea there was something wrong with that. He just went on dealing the cards.

"All four of us?"

"Is that a problem?"

"Wait, was there just not another room available, or did some tight ass just decide not to spring for another one?" I shot an insolent glance Sanzo's way.

"This was the only room we could find." Hakkai said simply. "Unfortunately."

"Where're we all gonna' sleep?"

"We'll figure something out, I'm sure."

"Easy for you to say—we already know who's going to win the damn card game!" I didn't mean to yell at him, but all of Sanzo's insults had wiped my good mood clean and taken me back to square one.

"You have just as good a chance of winning a everyone else does." Hakkai objected.

"Right." I snorted, picking up my hand. I had to say, I'm a decent card player-a good card player even-and I'd definitely had better hands. I was stuck with a pair of jacks and a baby straight. Not a bad hand, but against Hakkai I knew I'd have to do better. I gave up the jacks and prayed for the straight.

We played best three out of four, but Hakkai won the first three times so there was no point in going a fourth time. I came out with a full house the second round and had to fold the third, but it didn't really matter. Hakkai got the bed, and the rest of us had to put all our shit on the floor and try to arrange ourselves so that we wouldn't kick each other in our sleep.

Losing seemed to piss Sanzo off, because his insults became weightier and weightier as we got ready to go to bed, and by the time we actually laid down to sleep, I was seriously considering smothering him with my pillow.

I couldn't believe I'd actually been sympathizing with the asshole earlier. What the hell was wrong with me? Sanzo was a douche and he'd always been a douche, and something told me that wasn't going to change. Ever. No matter how many times I tried to be his friend, no matter how often I saved his ass or attempted to be civil to him, we were always going to hate each other. So why was I wasting my time?

This marked the day when I was finished with helping Sanzo do anything. Next time he needed help or had to be bailed out, he'd better hope Goku or Hakkai was around, because I was going to dance on his freakin' grave.