Title: And I Wonder
Category: Cartoons » Daria
Author: DariaMorgendorfferLane
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T
Genre: Romance/General
Published: 01-07-11, Updated: 01-07-11
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,326
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
"And I Wonder"
Wishes were for children and at 28 Daria was no child. So why did she find herself wishing over and over again that this nightmare trip would be over soon? New York was a conundrum of a city. The thought of 9 million people living on 305 square miles was enough to induce claustrophobia yet at any given hour on any given street you can find yourself feeling surprisingly alone. Not that she ever minded being alone. It gave her more time to write and she desperately needed that. Between the column and the novel she had been working on she hardly ever had time to herself anymore, let alone time with her friends. She smiled to herself as she thought of how happy Jane would be at the gala. Twenty years of hard work and dedication were finally starting to pay off in a swanky art exhibition entitled "Torment Of My Soul." Jane always did have a flare for the dramatic.
"Um Hello! You're not even freaking listening to me. Is this where we turn?"
Daria was startled at the high-pitch screech that came from her left. She shook her head as if she could physically remove the thoughts that were clouding her mind.
"Sorry Quinn. Yeah this is where we turn."
"Thank God"
Quinn abruptly turned the steering wheel to the right and the car screeched. Daria reached up and grabbed hold of the handle hanging from the roof of the car. Quinn noticed Daria's nervous reaction to her driving and smiled wickedly to herself. She had a pretty smile. Hell she was pretty all around. Everyone thought so. Even the New York City street lights seemed to know, always hitting her in just the right place, lighting up her green eyes and bouncing flecks of light off her strawberry blonde hair. Daria was suddenly feeling self-conscious. She pulled her compact out of her purse and studied her own features. Dark hair, dark eyes, nothing out of the ordinary.
"Trying to get pretty for your boyfriend?" Quinn teased
"Yes Quinn. Yes I am. I know that no matter how many years we've been broken up, Tom will always love me and to this day he considers me his girlfriend. It is only right I look good for him. Don't you think"?
"Lighten up, it's a joke Daria. Geez"
Daria had almost forgotten that Tom would be there. She suddenly felt nervous. Tom had always been a soft spot with her. Not because he was her first boyfriend or because he was the first person she had ever kissed or touched or let in besides Jane. It wasn't any of those things. It was because after all of these years she still felt guilty over the way she and Tom had gotten together. Jane forgave Daria in time of course and they had remained close friends but Daria often wondered if Jane ever truly trusted her again, knowing that if the roles were reversed she wouldn't be so easy to forgive. She suddenly felt grateful to know Jane.
"Here we are!" Quinn shouted disturbing Daria from her thoughts once again.
"Thanks for coming Quinn. Jane would appreciate it"
"Of course Daria. Besides it's an amazing opportunity to mingle with the artsy crowd. May get some ideas for the fall line. Rumor has it dark depressing colors are going to sneak back into the runway this season. Where else would I go to get inspired?"
"Hell"
Quinn smirked at her sister as she followed her out of the car. The November air was even colder than they had anticipated. They hurried into the gallery hugging them selves. Once inside, Daria was able to take in the exhibit. She was almost blinded by the fluorescent lights. Shocks of pinks, purples and lime greens hurt her head. It felt as if the whole room was shouting at her. Daria spotted Jane in a corner of the room. She was talking with some unfamiliar faces when she spotted Daria. She politely excused herself and headed straight over to Daria.
"Hola Amiga" Jane shouted as she wrapped her arms around her. "Glad you could make it"
"I came to make sure you haven't completely lost your mind. Looks like I am too late. You have become quite the social butterfly"
"Well how the hell else do you expect me to get my art noticed if don't sleep with a few douchebags?"
"Speaking of which, how's Tom"
"Is that any way to talk about the love of your life?"
"Funny. Is he here"
"Yeah he's hobnobbing with some other douchebags. Trying to spread the word around about how wonderful I am. I hope he does a good job. I am sick of painting everything in pastel pink and blue just so some overstuffed snob who knows nothing about art can say "oooh pretty" and I can make a few bucks."
"Don't put yourself down. It's amazing that you are doing exactly what you wanted to do for a living. Even if it isn't exactly how you pictured it would be. Life never really is." Daria said reassuringly.
"Is that optimism I hear? I hope you aren't going soft on me Morgendorffer"
"Must be all the pastel pink seeping into my head"
"Speaking of which Quinn's here huh?"
"Yeah she drove me here. "
"Speaking of siblings, nice of mine not to show up tonight. Even mom and Dad are here."
Jane pointed at Amanda and Vincent Lane. In all the years she had known Jane, Daria might have seen Jane's parents in the flesh once or twice at best. They were like urban legends. Chubbier and older than she remembered, they sat on uncomfortable looking benches holding hands and stealing glances at Jane every once in a while. They looked very proud.
"At least they are here." Daria said, "My parents wanted to make it out but you know how it is, what with constant obligations to work and personal ventures into therapy"
"OOH Daria that's Robert Thoenson. He's freaking huge in the sculpting world. I got to go talk to him. Do you wanna come along?"
"Um no thanks. I am fine. But you go ahead. Enjoy"
Jane speeded away. She grabbed Robert by the elbow and led him toward one of her pieces. Out of the corner of her eye Daria noticed Tom. He smiled at Daria and slowly began making his way toward her. Then out of the corner of his eye he noticed Jane looking awful friendly with Robert. That was Jane. She always had a way with men. Knowing this, Tom forgot all about Daria and made a beeline for Jane. He stood on the opposite side of Robert, placed an arm around Jane's waist and smiled politely at the two of them, no doubt introducing himself and marking his territory. It's nice to see them together, Daria thought, even if it is a bit awkward. She suddenly began to feel uncomfortable and began scanning the room for Quinn. She found her flirting with a tall man in a suit who looked as if he wasn't paying attention to a word she said. His eyes were focused elsewhere on Quinn's perfect hourglass shape accentuated by her curve hugging emerald colored dress.
Daria decided not to interrupt. Suddenly, she felt suffocated in the small room filled with at least two hundred people so Daria made her way to the door. She didn't want to leave just yet; she just needed a moment to breathe. She exhaled and gazed up at the sky. Not one star was visible. Lots of artificial light but no stars. Artificial, like the people in this city, she mused.
"Hey Daria"
The scratchy voice startled her. She turned around and there he was. He seemed taller than she remembered and he'd definitely put on some weight in all the right places. Time had been surprisingly kind to him, especially for someone with his lifestyle. His thin leather jacket was unzipped and blew furiously in the wind. He hastily put his cigarette out and began walking toward Daria. He wrapped his long arms around her and she noticed he smelled of smoky air and aftershave. Suddenly she was sixteen again.
"Hey Trent" she said into his chest. "It's been awhile"
"Its good to see you Daria. You look good."
"Oh Um Thanks. You too"
"I know Janey's probably looking for me. These things freak me out. I shoulda gone in sooner but I couldn't bring myself to do it. "
"Maybe its because of all the occupancy violation codes this place seems to be breaking"
"There's a lot of people in there? Good. Guess I should head inside to see her. Coming?"
"Uh, sure"
Trent placed a hand on Daria's shoulder and guided her into the room. She felt a flush of excitement wash over her. This is silly, she thought. She had purposely locked away all of her feelings for Trent a long time ago. She couldn't allow herself to feel for him because it would never have worked out. They had even talked about it once and the feeling was mutual. It would never have worked out. Ever. So why even think about it? Whenever her mind would wander to her days at Lawndale high, she'd see his face but that was it. It never went any further than that. A ghost of the past. Once again she attempted to physically shake the thoughts from her head. It worked as well as it did the first time.
"You OK Daria? " Trent asked looking confused.
"Oh, yeah, fine."
"Good. There's Janey"
As soon as Jane spotted Trent her eyes lit up. A huge grin spread across her face. She made her way through the crowd, which seemed to have increased during the five minutes that Daria had stepped outside and gave her brother a huge hug. When she broke the embrace she punched him softly on the chest.
"I said 7:30 Damn it not a quarter to ten! Where the hell were you? Mom and Dad are here."
"Whoa! Mom and Dad! Um, Sorry Janey. I'm here now though"
"True and hey you brought Daria with you! Maybe she'll stay inside for more than five minutes this time."
Trent smiled at Jane and then at Daria. Daria watched Trent walk away. Jane noticed her friend staring blankly ahead at her brother.
"DARIA! Again Daria? Really? With that doof?" Jane exclaimed, rolling her eyes a bit.
"What? No. Uh .What?" was all Daria could mutter in response.
Jane shot Daria a knowing look "Okay Kid. Whatever you say."
Daria's cheeks flushed in response. "I'm just cold " was all she could manage to say in response. "That doesn't even make sense Daria. Daria, where you going?" Jane called out.
Daria headed to the nearest bench and sat down. She found herself wishing the night were over yet again. She hated to feel silly and she always felt silly in front of Trent. It was a schoolgirls crush she told herself, and so what if, for a brief moment in a pizza shop more than 10,000 miles away and ten years ago there was a glimmer of sadness in his eyes as he told her they wouldn't work out. So what if he once valued her a person and even a friend. That's all they ever were and that's all they ever would be. So why couldn't she take her mind off of it or her eyes off him? She watched as he talked with his parents. He seemed to be so happy to see them. He talked with Tom a bit too and every so often he would feel Daria's eyes on him and he'd grin at her. She always liked his smile. He smiled as if he were up to something. He probably was. "Oh no" she said softly to herself as Trent made his way over to her bench.
"Why are you sitting here all by yourself?" he asked
"Oh, I am just taking it all in that's all. I'm fine, really" She replied
"Cool"
Trent stood over her for a few minutes and then cautiously sat down next to her, taking care not to get to too close. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. She always acted so strangely around him when she was a kid. Probably because of the crush she had on him. It was cute. He glanced at her through the corner of his eye. She had grown up and filled out nicely, almost grown into her awkwardness. She was still so small though. At 6'3 Trent was more than a foot taller than her. She always looked younger than she appeared. He began to feel weird. Like he was mentally hitting on his kid sisters friend. He looked at her again and remembered she wasn't a kid anymore. That made him feel a bit better. He thought that maybe he should say something but they had always been comfortable in silence. Trent spotted a familiar face headed straight for them. He tensed up anticipating the soon to be broken silence.
"Hey Daria's sister" Trent said cocking his head upward and smiling at Quinn.
"Oh my God, seriously Tre..." Quinn stopped short when she noticed the expression on Trent's face "Oh, ha, hey Jane's brother."
She continued. "Listen Daria I really have to get going, that guy I have been talking to, Bryce, he wants to show me his penthouse in Battery Park City and he doesn't have a car and I am NOT taking the subway so I am just going to have to drive Bryce and I downtown so I am going now byeeeee" Quinn quickly motioned for Bryce to follow her before speed walking to the door.
"Excuse me" Daria called as she chased after her sister. "How the hell am I supposed to get home, Quinn? "
"God Daria, why don't you stay with Jane tonight or take a cab or something"
"Because you said you would drive me home. Besides I don't think Jane and Tom would appreciate me crashing with them tonight. It is kind of a big night for her. They may want some alone time."
"Come on Daria, you know Jane would never say no to you. Okay gotta go Bye!"
Daria stood watching her sister scurry off to her car followed by a very excited looking Bryce. They sped away and Daria stood out in the cold, defeated and feeling sorry for herself. She returned to the gallery and looked for Jane. Shoving past drunken men and women who she feared would soon collapse onto one of Jane's sculptures, she noticed Jane looked a bit tipsy herself. Jane met Daria halfway through the crowd and slid her arm around her friend.
"Enjoying yourself? " Jane asked.
"Oh yeah, very much so. Only thing is, I have no idea how I am getting home tonight since my sister ditched me for some guy she just met."
"Oh, well gee that sucks, Daria, Hey Trent get over here!" Jane shouted
"Yeah Janey" Trent said as he approached them.
"Daria got stranded here in the Big Apple tonight. She lives out in Westchester. Are you okay to drive?"
"Yeah"
"Great, Trent will take you home Daria. I would invite you to stay with Tom and I but I've got parental babysitting duty tonight. "
"He really doesn't have to do that Jane. I can just take a cab," Daria said
"Well than why the hell did you say you had no idea how you were getting home? You feeling okay? Have a …fever?" Jane asked
"No I'm fine thanks" Daria sneered
"Its really no problem, Daria. I have no plans. I'll give you a ride. " Trent said.
"Okay. Thanks" Daria said, once again defeated. She was starting to notice a pattern.
"I'm gonna go bring the car around. Bye Janey. Congratulations again" He pulled Jane close and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see ya soon. Say goodnight to Tom for me" He said and turned toward the door.
"Hey Jane" Daria said
"Yes Daria?"
"We're no longer friends"
"What!" Jane exclaimed mockingly "And after all we have been through. Least there is no way in hell we can share this boyfriend"
"And on that note, Goodnight Jane"
"Night Daria" Jane said smiling as she made her way back to Tom who waved Daria a goodbye.
Daria made her way to the exit and took a deep breath as she stepped out into the cool air. She half expected to see a1973 Plymouth waiting for her but of course, it wasn't. A Ford from some time in the current decade stood in its place. Trent motioned Daria get in. She tried the handle and it wouldn't budge. "Sorry" Trent said unlocking the door. "That's okay" Daria answered with an air of annoyance in her voice. After giving him her address the pair sat in silence for a while.
"So Trent how is the music career?" Daria said in an effort to break the silence. She instantly regretted the question as soon as she had asked it.
"Uh I have no music career," He answered. "After the band broke up I tried to make it on my own. Moved to California for a while than to Seattle than Chicago. I actually sold some music for jingles. No words though. Thinking about it now, I was never really good at lyrics anyway. I made just enough to get by. When Janey moved out to New York I thought what the hell? I may as well follow. I missed her anyway. I wasn't doing so great when I first got here but Janey's been good to me. I pretty much failed"
"I'm sorry the music career didn't work out but at least you tried, you know. That was very, um, brave of you. So what are you up to now?"
"I own a bar in the city. You should come by sometime. We are gonna do open mic nights"
"I'm not big on poetry slams Trent"
He laughed "Good one Daria" he said in between laughing and coughing." Actually if you want I can take you over there now. To check it out, I mean. Before it's grand opening. I can give you a tour"
"Sure Trent"
"It is kinda in the opposite direction so it's a little out of the way. Sorry"
"Just a little? That's ok"
Apparently a little was an awful lot. It took them around twenty minutes to get down to the East Village. Trent exited the car and noticed Daria struggling to get out of the car. He walked around to the passenger side and began jerking at the door handle furiously. He finally opened the door. "Sorry Daria, it gets stuck sometimes"
"That's okay" She replied and followed him into the only shop on the block without a sign bearing its name. Trent slid the key into the door and was immediately assaulted by the blaring whirring sounds of the alarm. He hurried inside and fumbled around for the light switch. He found it after what seemed like an eternity and flicked on the dim lights. He than ran over to the alarm and pushed a few buttons frantically. The alarm finally stopped and Trent turned to Daria looking a bit embarrassed. "You don't know how many times the police have been here this week cause of this situation," he said.
"What situation?" She asked
"Me not being able to find the damn light switch."
"Oh I think that's more of a circumstance," Daria said.
"Whatever" Trent replied, "You know what I mean. So, what do you think?"
With all the commotion Daria had forgotten to look around the room. It was dimly lit. She realized that the light in the room came from all these artificial candles. It seemed as if there were hundreds of them. In one corner of the room was a small stage with a guitar pressed up against the wall. Center stage was a stool and a microphone. Round tables surrounded the stage. More artificial candles were placed in the center of each table. The bar itself was wooden but not old fashioned. Behind the counter shelves ran from floor to ceiling which held bright colored bottles. Stools ran from one side of the bar to the other. The floor was hardwood. Even empty, the bar had a sort of energy. It was cool, like Trent.
"I like it Trent. It's got a homey feel without being boring. Isn't that one of your old guitars on the stage?"
"Yeah. May as well use it for something. Besides, there's plenty more where that came from. "
"Do you still play?" she asked.
"Yeah from time to time. I sometimes get gigs teaching kids how to play. I figure when I'm not bartending I can always get up there and do a little something. Maybe get the crowd more willing to participate. You want a drink?"
"No thanks. It's getting kinda late"
"What time is it? I don't wear a watch. They depress me"
"I remember. 4:35" she said as she glanced at her wrist.
'Whoa. We should get going."
"Okay"
"You know Daria, I don't live too far from here. Why don't you just stay with me tonight?"
"Excuse me?
"I mean, you can sleep in my bed and I can stay on the couch or the floor. I can pretty much sleep anywhere. If you don't want to I understand but I think it will be easier. Besides, I don't know where I am going so the ride home could take a while. Better to do it in the morning when I'm awake. Or afternoon. Yeah, afternoon."
After thinking for a moment, she audibly sighed, defeated again." Okay. I'll stay with you, but why would you sleep on the floor if you have a couch?
"The couch is pretty problematic. Lets get outta here. We can walk to my place."
"Thanks for offering. Wait, you are going to leave your car here all night? "
"Don't worry no one ever steals it."
In less than five minutes they arrived at a century-old looking tenement building. Trent pulled out his keys and held the door open for Daria. After taking the elevator up to the 8th floor, Trent opened the door to his studio apartment. It was neater than she expected it to be, almost a lovely mess. Guitars lined the walls. There was a sofa and a big old-fashioned television pushed against opposite walls. In the right corner of the room next to a large window was a room divider. Daria assumed his bed was on the other side. The apartment had a separate kitchen that was actually big enough to eat in. Most of the kitchen was clean. She assumed it was because Trent was a bachelor and didn't know how to cook. Daria didn't either. They would make a good team she thought.
"Make yourself at home" Trent said. Daria sat down on the couch. Trent headed to the closet. He pulled out some sweat pants and an old t-shirt. "Here Daria" he said as he walked toward her. "You can wear this to bed if you want"
"Thanks" Daria said.
"I'll go into the bathroom and you holler at me when it's safe to come out okay?"
"Okay Trent"
Daria waited for Trent to close the door before she began undressing. She quickly took off her clothes while stealing glances at the bathroom door, afraid that Trent would come out prematurely. He didn't. Daria was thankful that he didn't seem to own a floor length mirror. His clothes were so big on her she must have looked ridiculous. Great she thought to herself. He won't be able to control himself when he sees me. Like that time he caught me in his Grandmothers nightgown. Hot. "You can come out now" she called to Trent.
He came out of the bathroom and when he saw Daria he smiled. "What?" she said defensively. "You are so tiny" he said still smiling. "Uh yeah, I guess" Daria said uncomfortably. "Cute" Trent said. Daria felt her cheeks get warm and muttered "Thanks". She felt silly again. Blushing was for kids. "I think I'm going to lay down now Trent," she said. "Okay Daria. Take the bed. I'll get on the couch."
Daria was thankful that he kept his clothes on as he stretched out on the sofa. He muttered some form of a good night to her as she slid into his bed. She thought of how many women before she might have lain down in this bed and felt disgusted and jealous at the same time. Through the divider she could see Trent shifting uncomfortably on the couch. He eventually gave up and pulled his pillow and blanket onto the floor and lay down. Before thinking about what she was saying she said aloud "Hey Trent. You can lay down with me if you want to, it must be cold down there"
"You sure?" he asked
No she thought but said, "Yeah, I mean, you look pretty uncomfortable."
"Cool" Trent said as he got up.
Daria took a deep breath as he lay down next to her. Just like at the gallery he was careful not to get too close. Daria felt the warmth of his body and inhaled once again. Silence once again washed over them until Trent said, "Hey Daria, do you ever wonder what could have been, I mean with, you know." He trailed off.
Daria knew what he meant. She lay still for a moment before saying "All the time" She surprised even herself. She felt his weight shift on the bed. He had turned on his side. Even in the darkness she could feel his eyes on her. He said. "That's nice to hear." Daria didn't know what to say or do so she said the first thing that came to mind. "Hey Trent what's the name of your bar?"
"Spiral. But I'm thinking of changing the name."
Daria laughed out loud. Trent joined in soon after. They laughed until Daria began to drift off into sleep. Trent soon followed. The light of day began seeping in the window but they both lay still for a very long time.