All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer
(Page 138 Twilight)- "Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take his advice: to be smart, to avoid him as much as possible. To cancel our plans, to go back to ignoring him as far as I was able. To pretend there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we were forced together. To tell him to leave me alone—and mean it this time…or I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something…sinister, he'd done nothing to hurt me so far…My head spun around in answerless circles."
I was confused. Agony and despair filled me at the mere thought of sending him away, but was it worth my life? He had warned me several times of the danger he presented towards me—a danger I felt and knew to be very real. Were my feelings for him justification for putting my life in danger, and the life of those I loved around me? What about Charlie? He could never know what Edward was, but would be in danger every time Edward came around. Was I that selfish—able to disregard the safely of the ones I loved so carelessly? Could I handle the pain it caused me when I was separated from Edward—the pain it caused me know at the thought of telling him to stay away?
Yes, I could. I had my answer. It would be hard at first, and I cringed at the thought of turning him away. I could not justify endangering the ones I loved no matter how I felt about him. I would cancel my plans with Edward Monday.
Usually with a decision made I felt lighter, better. But all I could feel was despair. My mind was made up and I would follow through with my decision no matter what. I looked up through the trees and found that it was a lot later than I originally thought. I must have lost track of time. I got up from the tree I had been sitting on and immediately started following the trail home.
I was able to finish my homework that night and slept dreamlessly. I awoke to find the sun shinning in through my window, but it did not lighten my mood. I was dreading today, and what I had to do. I was anxious to get to school. With my decision made I just wanted to get it over with. The sooner I told him, the sooner I could move on and forget about Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. I skipped breakfast and rushed to my truck to get to school early, but upon entering the parking lot I could not find Edward's Volvo. Disappointed, I went to my first class determined to catch him at lunch.
As I entered the cafeteria, I glanced over towards the Cullen's table. "A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty. With dwindling hope, my eyes scourged the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him alone", but he was nowhere to be found.
I sat with Jessica and her friends at lunch lost in my own world as they gossiped about this person and that. I was too focused on Edward to pay attention. Where could he be? His entire family was absent, was something wrong? Was there a family emergency? I laughed internally at my last thought. What kind of emergency could a family of vampires possibly have?
Page 146 until page 166 of Twilight, when they are in Port Angeles and Edward saves her. They have just met up with Jessica and Angela.)
"Where have you been?" Jessica's voice was suspicious.
"I got lost," I admitted sheepishly. "And then I ran into Edward." I gestured towards him.
"Would it be all right if I joined you?" He asked in his silken, irresistible voice.
I froze at his request. Having dinner with him certainly did not coincide with the decision I had just made to avoid him, but how could I refuse after he just saved my life? At least we wouldn't be alone, I reasoned.
"Er…sure," Jessica breathed. Clearly she had never been subject to his talents before.
"Um, actually, Bella, we already ate while we were waiting—sorry," Angela confessed.
"That's fine—I'm not hungry." I shrugged. It was better this way.
"I think you should eat something." Edward's voice was low, but full of authority. He looked up at Jessica and spoke slightly louder. "Do you mind if I drive Bella home tonight? That way you won't have to wait while she eats."
I instantly shot my head up to look at Jessica. What was he doing? I couldn't allow this to happen.
"Er…" Jessica said looking at me for an answer.
I quickly and silently mouthed the word 'no' to her, hoping Edward could not see.
Jessica frowned slightly, but did not disappoint me. "Actually I promised Bella's dad I would have her home early--it being a school night and all. We really should be going."
I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned to say goodbye to Edward. What I saw surprised me. He was frowning and his eyes looked confused and…disappointed?
"Bella." He began disapprovingly. "You need to eat."
I quickly turned my eyes to the ground, not wanting to get caught up in his gaze. Jessica and Angela had already started back towards the car, and I was thankful to be alone with him.
"Thank you Edward—for everything. But I'm fine now. I'll eat something when I get home. It's no big deal. I gotta go, Charlie's expecting me." I added quickly, lying, as I turned on my heel before he could respond.
Guilt washed over me as a made my way to Jessica's car. I felt awful for lying but nothing good could come out of me being alone with Edward. I was trying to avoid him after all. No matter how much I longed to join him I had to stay strong and stick to my decision.
"What was that about?" Jessica demanded as soon as I slid into the passenger seat.
"Nothing." I answered despondently, turning my head to look out the window. Lucky for me Angela came to my rescue again, distracting Jessica before she could question me further.
I remained mostly silent for the rest of the ride home. The events from the evening kept flashing in my mind. The men advancing on me in the alley, Edward's murderous stare as he saved me from them, his ability to know where I was to meet my friends without me ever telling him. Why was he in Port Angeles, today of all days? More importantly why was he in that alley at exactly the time I needed him? Had he known what was happening? Was that even possible? So many questions filled my mind—questions I was dying to find the answers to, but would never have.
"Bella? Bella?"
I shook my head a few times to clear it as I heard my name being called. "Hmm." I managed to say as I looked towards Jessica. I was surprised to find Angela gone.
She raised her eyebrows at me. "We're here. You're home."
"Oh." I blushed. "Thanks." I had been so lost in thought I hadn't even noticed where I was. I quickly got out of the car before she could ask any questions of me. "I had a really great time. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bella?" I heard Charlie call as I entered the house.
"Yeah dad it's me."
"Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah, but I'm really tired so I'm just going to head up to bed." I called as reached the staircase. "Night dad."
"Night Bells." I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was distracted by whatever game was on to really care that it was only 8:30, way to early to go to bed.
A heavy stupor clouded my mind as I entered the shower. Tomorrow I would have to tell Edward. I would have to make it clear that I wanted him to stay away from me. I cringed slightly at the pain that entered my mind at the thought of never talking to him again. I was being responsible, I told myself. I was doing the right thing, being smart as he called it.
"I can do this." I whispered as I entered the shower.
I didn't realize how cold I was until the hot water flooded over my body. The water burned my skin, but somehow did not feel near hot enough. I shivered as I went through the motions of washing myself. I stayed in the shower long enough for the hot water to eventually relax my muscles and calm my shivers.
I quickly wrapped myself in a big fluffy shower once done and swiftly went to me room to dress. I pulled out my warmest pair of pajamas and jumped into bed, burying myself deep within the covers to keep warm. I found myself too exhausted to ponder anymore on the enigma that was Edward Cullen, and sleep quickly found me.