"Hey Catnip, what's up?"
"I'm in Paris, waiting for my flight to Chad." Katniss said as she sat in the bar, staring at the glass of Drambuie that was sitting before her. The bartender had winked at her as he set the drink down, nodding towards the far corner and gentleman sitting there, smiling her way. She smiled tightly before dropping her head back down to stare at the fake wood of the bar.
"Paris? Chad? What the hell, Catnip? I thought you were home, trying to give whatever it is you've got going on with Mellark a go?"
"It's over Gale. I can't give him what he wants."
Gale sighed into the phone. "You ran away again, didn't you?"
"Don't start," Katniss snapped, reaching for the drink and taking a deep swallow. The alcohol burned going down but she relished the pain, knowing it would bring a sweet oblivion later. "I let him go to find someone to be happy with because we both know that'll never happen with me."
"What happened?"
"We had a pregnancy scare and I lost it," she said softly, reaching for the drink again to try to fend off the tears that wanted to fall whenever she thought of what could've been had the lines on the stick been different.
"Dammit, I thought we talked about this Katniss?" Gale said wearily. "You said you were going to try to be with him, no matter what."
"I did try, Gale," she hissed into the phone. "But I can't change who I am. I never wanted kids, that was all him," she said desperately.
"Running away to Africa is trying?"
"That's different."
"The fuck it is. You go to Africa, and every other hellhole you can find to try to save lives."
"I'm not cut out to be a mom; I'm not wired to care about another person like that."
"Hell, you raised Prim; sacrificing everything you could to make sure she had the best of everything. If that's not being a mom, I don't know what the fuck is." She took another drink, feeling the alcohol smooth out the rough edges, dulling the pain in her heart that was her constant companion as Gale continued. "Katniss, you can keep lying to yourself all you want, but the truth is staring you in the face, you're just too stubborn to admit it."
"I don't even know why I called you," she said, dropping her head to her arm and leaning on the bar. "You never make me feel any better."
He laughed. "Honey, you call me because I tell you the truth. We made that promise to each other a long time ago, remember?"
"I remember," she said softly. "Hang on a sec." The overhead speaker went off, announcing that her flight had been cancelled due to a storm in Chad. "Well shit," she murmured.
"What?"
"My flight's been cancelled," Katniss said.
"Yet another sign that you need to fix this Katniss, before it's too late."
"It's already too late, Gale."
"Katniss."
She sighed deeply. "I gotta go; I have to find someplace to sleep tonight. I'll call you later." Over his protests, she hung up the phone, turning to grab her bag.
"I believe I could help you with that." Katniss looked up into the dark brown eyes of the man that had sent over her drink. He spoke in French accented English, giving her a rakish smile.
"Oh really?" she asked, dropping her phone into her bag. "And what makes you think I'd accept?"
He shrugged. "A beautiful American woman, all alone in my fair city, you look so sad Cherie, I cannot help but to offer my services."
Katniss laughed. "Wow, does that line usually work for you?"
The man chuckled. "Usually, yes."
"Not this time. Sorry, I have to call my office. Thanks for the drink." She bent down and gathered her bags and walked quickly out of the bar. Slipping into the crowd, she quickly left the bar and the good looking Frenchman behind. Pulling out her phone, she scrolled through the contacts until she found the one she needed.
"Panem, International, how may I help you?"
"This is Katniss Everdeen, is Sebastian available?"
"Of course, Ms. Everdeen, one moment please."
Ducking out of the crowd, she leaned against the wall, dropping her bag at her feet as she waited.
"Katniss? I had no idea you were in Paris until Effie informed me just now." His smooth, dulcet tones filled the tiny earpiece of her phone and she smiled, despite her mood. Sebastian Harcourt was a wicked libertine, the son of an English shipping magnate and his Moroccan mistress. He was also the glue that held Panem, International together with his Eton contacts and access to the moneyed elite through his father, keeping the money flowing so they could help the poor and downtrodden of the world.
"I'm stranded, Seb. My flight's been cancelled and no word of when they're going to reschedule."
"I'll send a car."
"No, I can take a taxi to the office, but I need someone to find me a flight into Chad within the next twenty-four hours, or anywhere else close that I can get a car. I'm supposed to be on the next convoy into the Darfur camp on Friday."
"Of course, I will put Effie on it immediately. We'll talk when you when you get to the office."
"Thanks Seb, I owe you."
"Think nothing of it, my beautiful girl. We have much to catch up on."
Katniss sighed as she hit the end button. Yet another relationship she'd fucked royally and then ran away from. At least he didn't hate her, like Peeta probably did. Shaking her head, she sighed. She couldn't go there; it hurt too much to think about him. That was a wound that would take years to heal, if ever.
The taxi pulled up outside of a small home on the outskirts of the city, twenty minutes after she'd finally found one willing to take her this far. A discrete gold sign next to the door listed the building as the European headquarters of Panem, International. Katniss handed over enough money that the cabbie got out and actually unloaded her two bags on to the sidewalk instead of forcing her to do it herself. Stepping out of the car, she grabbed the bags and began walking towards the steps leading to the door.
As she entered the building, memories assaulted her. This was the place she'd run to after finding out about Peeta's dalliance with Glimmer. She'd spent nearly a year here, working with and eventually becoming involved with the enigmatic man that held the organization together on a shoestring budget. Sebastian Wrottesley had taken his father's connections and the lush sensuality he'd inherited from his Moroccan mother to Eton and charmed the pants off of everyone he'd met. Tall, with thick, dark hair, light olive skin and the deep blue eyes of his English father, he was six foot four inches of sex on two legs. He knew all the right people and had the access to the deep pockets of the English aristocracy that helped keep Panem, International alive and operational.
Pushing open the door, she stepped into the foyer, closing the door gently behind her. A smiling brunette rose from the desk in the corner. "Bonjour! May I help you?"
Katniss set her suitcase down. "I'm Katniss, from America. You must be new? I'm here to see Sebastian."
As if she'd summoned him by speaking his name, the door to the right opened and Sebastian walked out into the foyer. He moved briskly towards her, enfolding her in a warm, full bodied hug. "Ma belle! You look exactly the same as I last saw you! Is it sorcery that keeps you from aging?"
Katniss snorted as he released her. "You always were an accomplished liar, Seb," Katniss said with a weary smile. "I look like hell and we both know it."
"Non, you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you," he stepped back and studied her critically. "And just as sad."
Katniss snorted. "Now I know you're lying, Sebastian, twelve hours on a plane and three in the airport is not conducive to looking beautiful." His brow lifted and she sighed. "And as for the sadness, I'll tell you later, okay?"
He nodded and turned back to the brunette behind the desk. "Danielle, did you make any headway on finding our lovely Katniss a flight to where she needs to be?"
The girl nodded eagerly. "Oui, but it is not until eleven tomorrow morning." She glanced at Katniss quickly. "Did you wish for me to arrange lodgings for her this evening?"
Sebastian shook his head. "Non, she can use one of the guest rooms here."
Danielle nodded, moving back to the desk and sitting down in front of her computer. "Suite nine is available."
"Perfect," Sebastian said, reaching for Katniss' bags. "How about you take a shower and a nap and join me for dinner later? We are long overdue for a catch-up."
She smiled at him gratefully and nodded. A shower and a nap sounded like heaven. He led the way through the foyer and back through the house until they reached a covered walkway connecting the houses together. Turning back over his shoulder, he gave her a concerned look. "You will be okay with number nine?"
Katniss nodded, her heart clenching. Suite nine was where she'd lived when she'd stayed here before and it was as filled with memory landmines as everything else in her life. No matter where she went, something reminded her of Peeta. "It's over, Sebastian, I destroyed it all," she said softly.
He dropped her bags and enfolded her in another one of the full body hugs that she'd forgotten how much she missed. Sebastian never did anything by half measures. Fat tears filled her eyes but she refused to let them fall. It was her fault, everything was her fault. Wrapping her arms around him, she accepted the comfort that he offered. It felt good to have someone just hold her, not demanding, just giving. The last few months with Peeta had been fraught with tension, building to the inevitable confrontation they'd had. She'd known it couldn't have gone on forever. Peeta was a patient man, but he wanted more and she'd always known that, dreading the day when he'd finally realize that she couldn't give him what he wanted.
Sebastian pulled back, lifting her chin. "You never do anything by halves, do you my love?"
She gave him a watery smile. "I wouldn't be me if I did, now would I?"
His rich, deep laugh filled the corridor and she smiled despite herself. "I've missed you, beautiful Katniss. Very much."
"Thanks, Seb," she said softly, reaching up to lay her palm along his cheek. "I've missed you too." She was surprised to find that the words were the truth and not just the platitude that she'd intended. Sebastian had an easy manner and was so over the top outrageous in his compliments that he made the crushing loneliness that had been her constant companion the past forty-eight hours just a bit lighter. It wasn't much, but it was a start. "I'm going to shower and then sleep like the dead for several hours."
"I will come for you in five hours and we will have dinner and fine wine and talk about this sadness of yours."
She nodded as he led them down the hallway, using the keycard to open the door of suite nine. He moved back and let her enter first, following behind with her bags which he set on the rack by the closet. He walked towards her, pulling her in for another warm hug, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Sleep, ma belle, I will see you at eight this evening."
"Thank you, Sebastian," she said softly, smiling as he trailed his hand down her arm, squeezing her fingers gently. "For everything."
"You are welcome, Katniss.
The shower had been hot and so soothing she'd nearly fallen asleep in the stall, but she'd managed to wrap the towel around her body and crawl to the bed, sliding beneath the covers and falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. When she awoke, the room was dark and the lights of the city spilled in through the large picture window. Her phone was flashing with a message alert and she sat up, reaching for the light beside the bed, flipping it on. Opening her phone, she dialed voicemail, her heart lodging firmly in her throat. She was ninety nine percent certain it wouldn't be Peeta, but that one percent had her stomach churning and her pulse racing.
"Ma belle, come to my office when you wake up and we will feast beneath the lights of the city of love and perhaps I can ease the sorrow that is painted in every pore of you."
She flipped the phone closed and leaned back against the pillows, her eyes closing. Maybe what she needed was something without strings, or demands – someone not Peeta. Flipping the covers back, she got out of the bed and padded over to her suitcase, pulling the zipper open. Her clothes were for Africa and not for a night out on the town underneath the lights of Paris, but she had a black maxi dress that Prim had given her that she might be able to make work.
Twisting her hair up in a messy bun, she slipped the dress over her head and stepped into the sandals she'd worn on the plane over here and with a cursory glance in the mirror, grabbed her phone and purse and went to find Sebastian.
Their hands were tangled together as they walked slowly down the street, full of delicious food and superb wine and the comfort of being with someone that knew your secrets and still liked you. Katniss leaned her head against his arm as he led her into the house that held the guest suites. "Dinner was lovely, thank you again."
"It was my pleasure," he said, squeezing her fingers lightly. They stopped before her door and she leaned back against the wall, staring up at him with limpid eyes. He moved closer, bending down and gently pressing his lips against hers. She sighed against his mouth, his arms sliding around her waist, pulling her up against him.
Tears filled her eyes and she felt her skin crawl as his hand palmed her ass, pressing her tightly against the burgeoning erection between his thighs. Wrenching backwards, she stared up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I…I can't," she gasped.
"Katniss," he said gently. "Forgive me."
She shook her head. "No, it was me. I thought…" Her gaze dropped to her feet. "I thought it would help me forget."
"And it made it worse," he said, stepping back. "You should not go to Africa so full of sadness; you know how it is there."
She did know, and that's part of why she was going. There she could lose herself in the needs of the desperate and try to forget that her heart was irretrievably broken. "I'm sorry, Sebastian," she said softly.
He shook his head. "Non, it is I who should be apologizing. Your sadness cloaks you like a shroud, my love. I worry for you."
Katniss straightened her shoulders. "I'll be fine, I always am," she said softly but firmly. "I need to go somewhere that I can do some good and right now, that's Africa."
He nodded and smiled. "If you need anything, anything at all, you will call me, won't you?"
"I will, I promise," she said, curling her hand around the door handle.
"Take care, Katniss and I hope the next time I see you, that cloak has been lifted."
"You and me both, Sebastian. Good night."