A/N Young Bella is damaged by a shattered fantasy. She meets Edward who is also damaged, but by a false reality. Can they make something real together? The mind is a powerful place, is love stronger? AU
Disclaimer: All characters names and any cannon belong to Stephenie Meyer – thank you very much you generous woman. This story however, is mine.
Warning: Rated M, it will earn that in lemons later.
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Even though the burning sun rays through the tiny slit in the black out curtains highlighted the lateness of hour, Bella didn't have it in her to lift her pinkie, let alone get up for school. Her limbs were lead heavy and had practically glued themselves to the mattress. Just concentrating on breathing in and out seemed too much. The sensitive skin on her face stung and was raw from the torrent of tears she had released.
What Bella hadn't accounted for was the repercussions of her lies, she had just wanted to be valued, treated as the adult she was trying to be.
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When she first saw James she was instantly infatuated with him. She learnt that he had his own car and council flat -something most guys his age couldn't boast of. He worked in a factory labouring and had recently gained his forklift licence. Bella admired the fact he was making a go of his life unlike the other nineteen and twenty year olds who just smoked weed and drank beer from cans all day until their dole money ran out. She saw him as an honest working-man. A good-looking, honest working-man.
The boys at school didn't interest her in the slightest, they were just interested in trying to lose their virginities or seeing how many fingers they could insert whilst they clumsily tugged and groped the nearest willing female. She couldn't understand what the girls were thinking; did they not have any respect for themselves? Didn't they want to be cherished?
As Bella walked home, she slowed her paced as she passed the factory... his factory, in the hope that she could steal a glance. Most nights she would see him lifting bales of clothing, his muscles flexing, hair dripping from an honest day's labour. Other times she would be left disappointed, a slight burn in her heart having not had her daily treat.
When she wasn't with friends she would fantasise about a life with him, imaging their first conversation, the way he would admire her beauty and hold her gaze with deep longing apparent in his eyes; eyes she was yet to see close up. What colour would they be, brown like hers? Pale, piercing blue like that other lad she once had a crush on? The conversations she conjured up whilst she washed the family dishes were witty and flirtatious. In her mind, he adored her.
As the night wore on, she'd plan a different scenario that would ensure a first kiss, one that was perfect - hesitant, slow, intensity increasing as their tongues touched and explored.
It would be perfect.
He would be perfect.
They would be perfect.
About a month after her fifteenth birthday, Bella pulled on her skinny jeans and slipped her arms into her new dark green button up fitted blouse. She had decided no matter what, today she was going to talk to him. Leaving the schoolgirl behind, she left three buttons undone, exposing her cleavage that had been enhanced by the pretty push-up bra her mother had recently treated her to.
With a careful hand, make-up was applied; barely there eye shadow, lashings of mascara, a hint of blush and a dab of Vaseline to enhance her pouty bottom lip. Hair was never a worry for Bella, the long tendrils fell just so - length, volume and thickness that caused many girls to harbour intense jealously that they hid behind friendly compliments and flattery. Today she left it down, cascading over her shoulders, caressing every slant and curve of her tiny torso.
Her four-inch heels tapped her rhythm as she took the familiar route that would take her to the planned destination whilst she practised various lines in her head; Bella hoped one of them would be the exact one needed to pull this off.
"Hi gorgeous when d'you go to break? " Too forward, she surmised.
"I'm Bella, your James; we'll be sooo good together." Hmmm, definitely not, she didn't want to be cheesy nor presumptuous.
As it happened she didn't need her poorly rehearsed one-liners, James was working outside on the pavement counting stock, as it was unloaded from the container. She would need to walk by him, politely ask him to step aside so that she could squeeze through.
A wolf whistle ripped through the air, causing her to startle slightly. James glanced around looking for the chick who garnered such attention from his work buddy. He saw the brunette beauty and took a moment to appreciate her. Curves in the right places, a little too petite in some areas but hot nonetheless. She looked about his age; he figured he would have a little fun. He had already been at work four hours of his Saturday shift and needed some entertainment.
Bella sucked in a deep breath as she approached him; she had felt herself blush under his silent perusal. Lifting her chin slightly she continued on her mission.
"Hey Baby." Bella was thrilled by his attention and bit her bottom lip so that she could try to rein in the huge grin that was fighting to escape.
"Hey yourself." It had been her intention to be commanding and confident, but in reality managed soft and shy. This worked in her favour, as James liked women who were delicate and feminine.
"I've not seen you around this neck of the woods before. What brings you down here Sweetheart?" Bella laughed nervously but to her delight, she maintained eye contact - they were blue, mesmerising, and hypnotic. She hadn't thought of a reasonable answer to this so she went with the first thing that came to mind.
"I'm looking for..." Only nothing did come to mind.
"What baby, what are you looking for?" He saw her hesitance but translated it as reluctance. "Sorry Sweetheart, you don't need to be explaining yourself to me – it was my feeble attempt to chat you up." He noticed Bella's eyebrow lift slightly but was immediately distracted by her breasts as she took a deep breath.
When Bella replied, James could hear the humour in her voice, "That was a chat up line?" He dragged his eyes up to meet hers and he smirked when the small, amused smile confirmed she was teasing him.
He broke out into a full mega-watt smile, "I didn't say it was a particularly good chat up line."
Bella didn't want this moment to end, he was everything she hoped he would be, but she didn't want the conversation to be stilted and as her brain was already working overtime to keep her vertical - words and sentences were taking a back seat. Just as she was about to carry on walking the colleague responsible for the wolf whistle jumped from the container.
"Dude, introduce me." His eyes danced as he appreciated the looker in front of him. James shoved his shoulder.
"Knock it off Laurent; she's out of your league." Bella's heart was beating its way out of her chest as she took in the scene before her.
"Oi, you pair, I don't pay your asses to stand there gossiping!" James didn't want to anger his Boss further, he'd already arrived ten minutes late for his shift this morning and was still on his six months trial.
Looking over his shoulder he reasoned, "Sorry Gaffer, I'll work over and make up the time!" He had placated the wage payer somewhat with his offer, earning a satisfied nod. He refocused on the sexy stunner, "Sorry about that Sweetheart." He hesitated for a second before taking out his mobile and asking for her phone number; she reeled of the digits and told him her name. "I'll call you later. Maybe...um, you want to hang out or something?"
"Sure, I'll let you get back to work."
James was already mentally stripping her as she walked away.
Another thing Bella hadn't accounted for was her return journey, she couldn't very well turn around a walk back the way she came, but to get back home she would have to walk through the school fields to the main road – not exactly the perfect terrain for high-heels.
After getting stuck for the third time, Bella removed her shoes and continued barefoot. She barely noticed the pain from stepping on small stones as she replayed their conversation, 'It was my feeble attempt to chat you up', 'Sorry about that Sweetheart', he had called her Sweetheart. She also recalled how he looked at her, how he had only had eyes for her. Due to her innocence, she didn't recognise the pure hungry lust that emanated from his every pore.
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To stop the memories assaulting her and pounding her head with regret, Bella forced her eyes open. It wasn't just her arms and legs' aching now, so was her heart.
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James called her that night and Bella made sure he picked her up from down the road, there was no way her parents would have allowed her out with a man of his age. She lied to her parents telling them she was walking over to Jessica's, this was a regular occurrence so they had no reason to be suspicious.
James was not quite as perfect as she imagined.
He did not always say the right thing.
He certainly did not do the right thing.
Their first kiss was aggressive; he pressed himself against her and quickly brought his hand up to her breast. She reasoned that she was playing the part of an adult and this was what any red-blooded adult male would expect. This same reasoning granted him access to her most intimate of places, first with his hand, then his fingers before he finally took her virginity.
Her visions of tender were blurred as he pushed and pounded. Her perfect James turned out to be like the schoolboys she had slighted. James was not a hormone imbalanced child, he was her dream man, she hadn't expected this nightmare. She had gripped his shoulders hard, partly to help with the pain and partly to keep herself standing.
James was struggling to last, he wanted to make this good for her, and he wanted to feel her orgasm. Revelling in her gasps and moans, he pumped harder and faster.
"Baby, I can't... it's too good... I-I'm coming."
His release was intense, causing his knees to give a little. He buried his face into her long soft hair as he grunted and gasped. James placed a kiss on top of her head and tucked himself away.
"I know you didn't get yours Sweetheart, you want me to finish you off?"
Bella repositioned her clothes and looked everywhere but at him.
She felt sore, damp and dirty as what he left inside her seeped out and soaked her underwear. Desperate to get home Bella mumbled something about needing the toilet. James, feeling quite sated, thought the most courteous thing to do would be to give her a lift home so that she could clean up. He winced slightly as he considered their lack of protection and hoped that she was on the pill.
Their goodbye was a chaste kiss. Whilst leaning towards his puckered lips the pressure of the movement caused the burning and throbbing to increase. The pain was replaced by numbness as Bella opened the front door to her home. Chatter from the living room sounded distanced to Bella at that moment, even though she was barely metres from the room. She continued upstairs, locking the bathroom door before running the taps and striping bare.
She hoped the water would wash away the evening but it merely cleaned her skin of the foreign substance he had left behind.
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A/N I know we're not James fans, at least I'm not – but this wasn't rape. It's clear to us that she didn't want to have sex with him, but it wasn't clear to him. She was out of her depth and naively thought she couldn't/shouldn't stop him.
The chapters are short, but I'll be updating most days.
To those people you have me on Author Alert; HI - it's lovely to see you again...
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