There isn't much to write here, but what would happen if Erik met Edward Cullen?
Erik:…I would kill him!
Me: Why?
Erik: He just needs to die.
Me: I agree, but don't upset the fangirls.
Erik: Don't you mean phangirls?
Me: No because most of them don't read my PotO stuff.
Christine: You just damaged his ego.
Erik: *sits in emo corner*
Me: Christine, will you please get him out?
Christine: No problem. Good luck!
Me: Merci!
Why We Shouldn't Sparkle
It had been a long day and Erik was ready to go home and see his darling wife. It had been nearly 120 years since he and Christine had been changed into something that wasn't…exactly human. They looked human, sounded human, and, to those who are just twisted, smelled human, too, but they were far from it: they were vampires. How they became vampires, he never cared to figure it out. All he could remember was that he was dying and Christine had bitten him and when he had woken up, he was a creature of the night.
Looking out towards the sky, he saw the sun beginning to rise and picked up the pace of his walking; it turned out that vampires did burn in the sunlight, weakened from garlic, ran from the cross, and could die with a stake to the heart. Seeing his apartment just up ahead, Erik ran the rest of the way and pushed the door open, expecting a friendly greeting from his Christine, but what he got instead was the most unpleasant surprise: a man was sitting in his living room.
"What are you doing here?" Erik growled, prepared to tear this man to shreds and then demand his wife why another male was in his house while he was away.
"Calm down, Erik; he's our next door neighbor." Christine scolded, rubbing her eyes to help her wake up. She had just fallen asleep when she had heard a knock at the door and was excited to see that their newest family was coming to visit.
"Hello, sir, my name is Edward Cullen and the rest of my family should be here shortly." He said, extending his hand for a shake, but all Erik did was stare at it with his piercing golden eyes so he lowered his hand back to his side.
Neighbors? Why neighbors? And at this hour?! Hopefully the family knew that they weren't going to be staying at their apartment for the morning!
"Shouldn't you be home? The daylight is coming and you'll be badly burned if you don't hurry." Erik sighed, walking over to his bar to get a drink. Even though he was a vampire, he still enjoyed the occasional glass of scotch or brandy.
"Oh, the sunlight doesn't affect me, sir; it never has." Edward replied, wondering why the man before him was commenting on the daylight. He knew that his new neighbors were vampires, but so far, all Edward wanted to do was to get away from these freaks! When he had first met the wife, she was bedraggled and avoided the sun as much as she could and when she led him into the apartment, he noticed that all of the curtains were drawn and only lamps filled the room with a weak light. Then when the man entered, he was surprised to see that he had color in his cheeks, as if he had run for a very long time.
Erik was shocked to hear this! A vampire who couldn't burn in the sunlight! What did happen to himself and his family when they stepped out into the sun?
Christine wanted to laugh when she saw the look on her husband's face when Edward told him that he didn't burn when he came in contact with the sun. She was shocked too when he had come knocking on her door at six in the morning, asking her if she knew where the high school was. What did a vampire need a high school for? Then, it all clicked together; not burning in the sun, the overpowering honeysuckle smell, the way he seemed to…sparkle when then sunlight hit him: they were hybrids.
"What do you mean you don't burn in the sunlight?" Erik asked, but right before Edward could answer, a gust of wind blew a curtain away and doused the younger vampire in sunlight. Erik's first instinct was to cover Christine, who was hiding over in a corner, but then his eye caught something sparkly. Looking over his shoulder, Erik burst out into laughter when he saw Edward glittering. Glittering!
"I would appreciate it if you didn't laugh, sir." Edward muttered, knowing that it was no use; he always got this reaction around vampires who didn't sparkle like he and his family.
"Forgive me, Edward, but I honestly thought you would burst into flames and then you sparkled!"
"Erik, stop it. You're being very rude." Christine giggled, closing the curtain and checking her skin to see if there were any burns. Thankfully, there were none; once a vampire is burned by the sun or by a holy relic, they're burned permanently.
"Thank you, Ma'am." he breathed, glad that Christine was sticking up for him, but still annoyed that she was giggling along with her husband. Why were they laughing? Didn't they glitter, too?
"I can tell what you're thinking, Edward, and trust me, we don't sparkle." Erik said, calming down a little. What else did this kid do that regular vampires didn't?
"But my father told me that we all sparkle. I've seen our leaders sparkle!" Edward shot back. Why were they making fun of their own kind? The Volturi could kill them for being as reckless as they were.
"Oh, so now we have leaders? When did this all happen and why hasn't anybody told me?" Christine asked, sitting down on the sofa, motioning for Erik to sit next to her.
"You've never heard of the Volturi? How could you not know about the people who have been ruling over our species for the past 600 years?!" this was definitely news! These people had no idea who the most powerful vampires were! Perhaps Carlisle was wrong when he said that these people were intelligent.
"Besides sparkling, Edward, what else do you do in your spare time?" Erik inquired, wrapping his arm around Christine's petite waist.
"Well, my family and I hunt for our blood; we refuse to drink human blood," Edward began, pleased that he was finally able to get a sentence out, "My father, Carlisle, has taught us that drinking human blood is wrong, no matter how good it tastes. I also have a human girlfriend who I'm very excited to see again."
"A human girlfriend? That must be very difficult for you, even though you…don't drink human blood." Christine coughed. What did they drink? If it wasn't human blood, then what else was there?
"It's extremely difficult, but, like I said, I don't drink human blood."
"What do you drink then?"
"Animal blood, of course."
Christine nearly gagged at the thought of drinking animal blood. She had had it once before and swore that she would never, ever touch that foul liquid again! "How can you stand it? It must be horrible."
"You get used to it after awhile, but I do have human blood from time to time; I consider it to be a special treat." Edward said, reclining on the overstuffed chair. The couple seemed to be understanding that being a vampire had nothing to do with the myths of Dracula and drinking human blood. Perhaps he could even get them on the animal blood diet! Carlisle would be pleased with that!
"I had animal blood once and once was definitely enough. Erik was willing to try it, but he deterred away from it as soon as he saw me choking on a gulp." Christine shuttered, burrowing her curly brown head into Erik's warm shoulder.
Edward's face fell at the mention of this. "You should give it a second chance; it's not so bad after awhile."
"I'm sorry, Edward, but there is no way you can get me to drink that ever again." Christine finalized. He had ten seconds to stop his pestering, or else she'd fling him across the room. Edward couldn't believe the tension in the room and decided that maybe it would be best if he left…
Getting up from his seat, he started towards the door, but as soon as he opened the door, a slap to the cheek met his face. Taking a shocked step back, he looked at the culprit who had slapped him and was shocked at who it was: Bella!
"You lying, cheating, good for nothing vampire! You tell me that you're leaving me just to keep me safe and then when I ask Carlisle the real reason why you were all leaving was because you had another girlfriend. Tell me, Edward, is she pretty? Because I've seen the way you stare at them." She yelled, walking into the apartment.
"How many people are going to barge into our flat?" Christine whispered, glaring at the open door, which was letting light in. Why couldn't people shut the door when they entered during the day?
"You think we would be used to it by now." Erik replied, running his long, musical fingers through his hair. First Edward Cullen and now a girl who appeared to be his ex-girlfriend; who else could come walking through the door? Raoul?
"And you two," Bella spat at the couple who were trying to avoid the sunlight, "be quiet! Can't you see that I'm trying to yell at this guy?"
"You have no right to come into my flat and tell me what to do, mortal!" Christine screamed, not caring anymore if the sunlight burned her. Damn the light and damn this girl! Nobody comes into my flat and tells me what to do! Erik loved it when Christine got angry; she became so powerful and lively.
"You're a mortal too! And you're plainer than I am! So this is who Edward has been sneaking off to meet?"
"Who are you calling plain? Just to let you know, Missie, I'm about eighty years older than Captain Sparkles over here!"
Edward felt a little insulted by the comment, but he could tell that his hostess was pissed off and Bella was the one to blame for it. "Christine, Bella, how about we all calm down and talk this over."
Christine could feel the sun beginning to burn her skin and slowly walked back into the shadows, pressing her burnt arm to her side so that Erik wouldn't have to see it. To think that she ruined her arm just to yell at an eighteen year-old mortal made her even angrier.
"Are you alright, mon ange?" Erik asked, placing a gentle hand on her damaged arm. He knew that she didn't want him to see it, but all he wanted to do was to make sure that she wasn't burned anywhere else.
"I'm fine. Edward, whoever you are," Christine gestured towards Bella, "please, just leave my flat. We can discuss this all later, I promise."
Giving a curt nod, the mortal girl with dull brown hair and equally dull eyes left the flat with a sparkling Edward in tow. Erik shut the door and turned back to look at Christine, who was wincing when she touched her arm. It was a foolish thing for her to do, but he was proud of her; she stood her ground and defended herself against a brat of a girl.
"How about we go to bed, my dear; we'll probably be seeing more of them tonight."
"Bed sounds like a wonderful idea. My arm is absolutely killing me! I should have thought about the consequences before I ran into the light."
"Yes, you should have used your brain, but you did the right thing. Now, enough talk of that." Erik smiled as he picked up his feather weight wife, nipping at her neck and tasting her sweet blood. "You taste as wonderful as always, mon amour."
Moaning in response, Christine gave him a delicate on his forehead, removing his mask and caressing his damaged cheek. This morning was going to be a fun one, she could already tell.
I know that this is incredibly short, but it was supposed to be like that. This was just a small parody I decided to do and the whole idea about Erik and Christine being vampires in this story helped me to develop my more serious story, Why You Should Be Afraid Of The Darkness. Anyways, this story was just incredibly fun to write and if you want more, let me know.
Erik: Me too!
Me: Christine, you did the impossible! You pulled Erik out of the emo corner.
Christine: It was nothing!
Erik: *glares* I'll go back into the emo corner if you mention it again.
Me: Fine! I won't mention the E-M-O C-O-R-N-E-R anymore.
Christine: Good, because I don't want to coax him out of there again. Do you know how depressing that was? I wanted to cut myself just by standing there!
Erik: *hugs Christine* You'll do no such thing! You're my Christine!
Me: You're a hopeless romantic, Erik. Remember everyone, review!
^.^