I WON'T LET GO

Prologue

Leaving California

The rain hadn't stopped falling in over twenty four hours and Tony was convinced that it only started when their argument had started. He didn't even remember what they had argued about now but like always Loki had walked out without looking back only this time he hadn't come back after a couple of hours. Tony had counted, after leaving his workshop having calmed down he had gone and sat at the base of their bed looking out across the driveway watching the rain fall waiting for Loki to come back.

Two hours had passed, then three; he began to become restless when it approached six hours; pacing the bedroom when it had hit ten. He tried calling Loki's cell after fifteen hours and his panic heightened when he heard the catchy tone Loki had chosen for him echoing down from the library.

After eighteen hours, Tony had simply climbed into bed and slept restlessly dreaming about all the horrible things that could have happened to Loki and the last words they had shared.

Tony finally woke a little after twenty six hours had passed feeling more like he had been awake for weeks than having slept almost eight hours, his mind in a slight groggy haze Tony didn't take any notice of time for the first time in over a day his mind instead zoning in on the suitcase resting on the dresser with Loki stood beside it placing folded clothes inside.

"I did not intend for you to wake"

Tony sat up at Loki's words, studying him for a moment before climbing out of bed, grabbing the bottle of Glenmorangie he had started drinking after Loki had been gone over twelve hours.

"So what… You make me worry for over a day and then you think you can fucking come back and sneak out without telling me you're okay?" Tony almost shouted before taking a swig of the drink from the bottle as he walked towards Loki.

Scowling in response at both Tony's words and the alcohol he could smell even at their distance Loki slammed his suitcase closed and turned angry green eyes on Tony.

"I believe you told me to get out and I quote 'don't show my pretty boy face around here ever again' so forgive me if I care little for your feelings on the matter Stark" Loki hissed out in response to Tony.

"I…! I didn't mean it I just…"

"As usual you had too much to drink!" Loki snatched the bottle from Tony's hands as he shouted throwing it across the room to smash against the mirror of the closet breaking the glass of both bottle and mirror.

"I cannot do this anymore, I cannot watch you drink your life away and treat me like your housekeeper… I refuse to! I loved you Anthony, at one point I was willing to give up everything for you but now… I am going to see Thor in New York then I shall return to England…"

Rushing forward, Tony pulled the case from Loki before he could pick it up, launching it behind him not caring when the breaking of the window met his ears before he pinned Loki against the cabinet, pressing against him to claim his lips in a savage kiss trying to keep him in place only to pull back with a gasp of pain when Loki sank his teeth into his tongue and kneed him in the groin.

"What the fuck?!" Tony gasped out as he stumbled backwards towards the bed, one hand cupping his groin while the other wiped blood from his lips.

"You will not touch me again… I gave you the ultimatum Stark, the alcohol or I and you have made your choice, I am leaving; leaving California, America and you Stark… I will collect the rest of my things you have not destroyed and I am leaving tonight, I suggest you stay out of my way" Loki hissed before turning and leaving the room not even giving Tony a second glance.

This time as the hours passed, Tony didn't watch it tick by; didn't count down the hours and it wasn't until he heard Loki's car unlock that he realised time had passed. Getting up off his bed, Tony ran from the room, down the stairs and out the front door grabbing Loki as he moved to climb into his car before dropping to his knees, unsure whether the water streaming down his face was rain or tears.

"Please Loki… Don't give up on me… I… I won't be okay if you leave" Tony tried to beg, tried to hold on as Loki tried to pull himself from his grasp.

"Please…" Tony begged before Loki finally slapped him across the face sending him to the floor enabling the man to climb into his car and slam the door shut.

"I tried Stark… Three years… I've had enough, I cannot take anymore… I cannot take wondering whether you will even be alive when I get home… I'm done" Loki finally spoke after rolling down the window to look at the pitiful mess of a man he had left on the floor.

"Find something worth living for Anthony…" after those words Loki wound the window up once again finally driving away leaving Tony kneeling in the middle of the driveway as the rain poured down on him with no desire to move.

Once out of the driveway, Loki simply continued driving eyes locked on the road before him trying to empty his mind; fearful that if he allowed his mind to drift he would simply turn around and return to Tony like he had every other time, this time he wanted to do what he knew he had to.

"I am sorry" Loki whispered to himself allowing himself to look in the wing mirror, watching the mansion disappear into the darkness.

It was a little past midnight when Loki finally arrived at a motel just before Albuquerque; his heart was heavy and he had been tempted to take the woman in the receptions offer to go and get a few drinks, however Loki knew using alcohol to escape is thoughts would make him a hypocrite. Instead he had simply gone straight to his room alone and was now sat at the end of the bed trying to fight back the tears that wanted to fall, fight back the desire to simply jump in the car, whether he wanted to drive back to Malibu or off the side of a cliff he had yet to determine.

Beep beep ping!

Hearing his phone receive a message, Loki was pulled out of his thoughts. He had text Thor just before he had left telling him he was on his way to visit, he didn't bother with any other information since Loki was sure he would figure out. Rising off the bed, Loki walked over to the cabinet he had thrown his keys and phone on only to freeze when he saw the message on the screen.

New Message:

Tony Stark:

Fight to hold on do it all for love,

Baby please don't go

Because if you run away I won't be alright

I won't let go…

Never, I love you Loki….

A/N:

First Story in a long time and has not been beta read. Not completely sure where I am going with this but Maroon 5 will lead the way. I will try and update soon.