I Won't Forget You.
"We were meant to be."
--Owl City
It was just past midnight, and Kate Beckett had yet to even think of going to sleep.
If there was ever a time to realize things, now was not it.
He was going away, he was going to leave. And now, she had to think of what she really felt? Now, she could face what everyone else had known?
Timing never seemed to be perfect.
It was years, and she hadn't faced anything. It had all stayed balled up inside of her, the feelings she had tried to hide. She missed his laugh already, his 'case grin,' named for when he got excited once they had found something in the case. She missed his smile, his jokes.. Everything about him.
And more than ever, she missed that last hug she had.
They had stayed in that position for what felt like hours, neither wanting to let go. She had felt better than she had in, she guessed, ever. And the only reason it had happened was because he was leaving. Why she didn't kiss him, she was sure she wouldn't know. But Kate doesn't do things like that, love just because he was going to leave.
She knew that he would go. She had known ever since she had met him, that he would let her down. His bad boy attitude, and the way he felt… She knew she had that would never be reciprocated.
And she hated falling in love with him for that.
Nothing felt right now, she knew in the end she was just causing more pain than necessary. After all, she knew better than most people that people left. Everybody leaves. Friends, family, even relationships always fall apart. People fall out of love, people fall in love with someone else, people get killed… She had seen so many examples of people dying and the partner getting so heartbroken.
So why did she have to be attracted to him? What made Richard Castle any different from the other people in her life that had come along?
Well, that answer should have been obvious. Right after her brain had come across the thought, she thought it was silly to ask herself.
And Kate could still remember the night as if it had happened a minute ago, even thought it was a few days ago.
"Beckett! You're still here?" Castle had just come in, and she was finishing up paperwork.
"Yeah, what? You thought I went home? No. Not me, you should know by now."
He chuckled before saying, "Yes, of course I knew."
For a minute, there wasn't any noise. It was just quiet, and they were both content as Beckett did paperwork.
But Castle had to break the silence, as always. "Hey, I need to let you know something…" Oddly enough, he sounded kind of nervous.
"What's up, Castle?" There was a tone in her voice, she was sure.
"I um… I'm leaving. Tomorrow. For a long time."
It took a minute for Beckett to comprehend just exactly what he said. "You… you're… You're coming back, right?" She could hear her voice cracking, and there were tears threatening to spill from her eyes just as the emotion that caused them was. It wasn't often there was emotion in her voice, but this wasn't any normal scenario. If Castle wasn't going to be gone for long, she was going to kick his ass for making her feel so bad.
"I don't think so. At least, not for a while. It's for Nikki Heat, they're making a movie… in Hollywood. I'm going to have to go to casting calls there, and they're making me the producer. I'm not going to be back for a year or so."
"And you're sure… about all of this? You're just going to leave us? Look, it may be just me, but you've become family to us at the precinct. Esposito and Ryan are such great friends of yours, and the captain likes you, too. Even I, myself, have been having such a much better time since you've come, although if you say anything, I will hurt you."
"Yes. I'm sorry. This movie is really important for my carrier, and I need to do it for Nikki Heat and for you guys. I'm going to come back, you know I will." He smiled lightly at that, despite his feelings of the need to stay back now that Beckett had actually admitted some feelings of liking towards him. He was never going to forgive himself knowing he had his chance, but he already signed the contracts.
He went up close and hugged her, feeling the need to have her body close to his, even if she pulled back, before he left her for what he was positive would feel like an eternity. He was really going to miss her, so much. More than he would miss Esposito and Ryan, even though they were family. She was so much more. She was, as he had said in his dedication, the extraordinary Kate Beckett. And it was going to be hard without her for a long time. No playful comebacks, and no warm smiles. No more murder calls for a whole year. What a long year that would be, too.
But to his surprise, she didn't pull away. She held him close. She held him tighter and tighter by the second, not that he cared. That was exactly what Castle wanted and dreamed of, but never had the chance.
After forever, she pulled away with what he thought were tears in her eyes. He couldn't be sure, though, because she ducked her head down a little.
"Goodbye, Castle."
"Goodbye, Kate." That sentence was enough to get a smile on her face, with the use of her first name. He wouldn't ever forget that smile.
And so the year went by, neither changing their mind about their feelings for each other. But each thinking that the emotion would never be the same in the other person's mind.
It was going to be another day for Beckett, the year had almost gone by. No phone calls from Castle, obviously he was too busy for her. No need for her anymore, he had moved on if there had been any emotion from him before. But she hadn't stopped feeling for him, thinking about him everyday. She missed him so much, and not a day went by where she didn't think about how much she loved him and missed him. And that wasn't going to change. She would wait for him; wait for that smile to come back.
But her phone rang, interrupting her thoughts of the man she loved.
"Beckett."
"Castle."
"Castle?! Why haven't you ever called me? You know how much worry you've caused Esposito and the others? They-"
"Beckett, I've been busy. Every minute of the day, I had something scheduled by my manager. I'm sorry for not calling you earlier, because I did try. Please don't get angry at me for that." He had known, even though she hadn't said a word about herself missing him, that she was talking about herself mostly. That man seemed to just know everything.
There was a moment of silence, Beckett had to be sure he wasn't lying. He had hurt her before, and she was sure he would do anything to make it up to her. "Okay. But why did you call me now?"
"Because I'm home."
"I'll be at your house in about five minutes, don't you dare leave."
As soon as she hung up, she darted down to the precinct elevator and did not take any detours on the way to Castle's house. She was so eager to see him. A whole year had swelled up in her, and even considering her being the mysterious and untrusting Kate Beckett, this wasn't one of her usual work relationships. She loved Castle, and she was going to go straight up to him this time.
She rang the doorbell when she got to his house, almost jumping up and down at the thought that in just a moment, she would see him again.
As soon as he opened the door, she threw herself on him. It wasn't something he expected, so he did stiffen a bit. But once he realized who it was, he quickly started to hug her back and squeezed her so hard he thought she wouldn't be able to breath.
"I really missed you," she breathed.
"I missed you, too."
She finally released him a bit to look up at him, and they stared at each other only for a moment before Castle slowly leaned in and kissed her.
A/N: This was such a fun story. I didn't really know why, but I had the sudden urge to write a new story and this is what came out LOL. So, tell me what you think, and I will love you forever! :)