The hundredth time I asked myself that question, I realized I would probably ask it a few more hundred times before I allowed myself to answer it.
So I might as well get it out of the way now.
Of course I know why. She's beautiful, she's funny, she's nice, she's everything I'm not.
So why did I stand by like an idiot, watch them get together and get on with their happy lives, asking myself why?
Because I'd had hope. An awful, disgusting, back stabbing glimmer of hope that, by some divine miracle, he would choose me. Well, not anymore! No more, "Oh, please pick me, Ash, even though all I do is call you names and beat you with my mallet. Please see through my armor of cruelty to the tender, helpless girl inside."
Yeah right.
He was never that bright. No guy was. I mean, May had to fly to Drew's house on an Altaria in lingerie for him to see what was right in front of him. (That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, really. May was so uncomfortable with it all.) And Ash didn't have half the brains Drew did. There was no way my pleading wish could have happened.
He and Dawn were happy together. I should've just left them alone and moved on.
But there was no way I could do that. I was in love with him, for Celebi's sake! I wanted to run up to him and kiss him so hard that he would faint from shock, and then he would fall right into my arms and wake up and say, "Where have you been all this time?" and I would say, "Right here, Ash, right by your side."
That would never happen, of course. Ash was too busy smooching Dawn to realize me anymore. We hardly ever talked now.
So I was sure to make my presence known. However, they usually got annoyed and slunk off to a more "private" location.
Great Arceus, they were so in love it was sickening.
Usually they left me with Mr. Stony-and-Silent, the purple-haired guy named Paul. All he did was slump on the couch with his arms across his chest and scowl like he did it for a living.
I think he had a thing for Dawn. Just another unhappy ending to add to the list.
No matter how hard I tried, or how much I pretended not to care, there was no way I would end up happy when the day ended. Maybe I could convince Paul that the two of us going out would make them jealous. Doubt he'd go for it. I hardly did myself.
All I have to say is this: Dawn, if you wind up breaking his heart, I will hunt you down. Anyone who hurts Ash (me excluded) is subject to a horrible and possibly fatal attack from me.
At least I could say I would always be by his side.
*AN: The product of a horribly bad day. I wanted it to be angrier, but I guess it just made me feel worse. So I made it... less angry.*