So, I wrote 'Need' and it was all Jacob POV, and that was fun for a little break from my retirement. I sat down the other day, unsure of what I felt like writing, and I started typing only to realize that I had basically started writing the same story, except not… I ran with the idea, and here you are: Jasper's side of the story. I hope you like it, I warn again, it's been a long time since I've been writing, so, I still feel a bit rusty. On top of that, I've no Beta. I've edited it to the best of my knowledge, please don't hate on me for any slight mess ups. :/ Feedback is always welcome, and I simply hope you enjoy.
Best wishes! -Summy
Pairing: Jasper/Jacob
Warnings: Mild het mention (unrequited love), mention of character death (briefly)
***I don't own it. I just play with it. Keep your books, Stephanie Meyer, just let me play with the boys...***
Eighteen years before the first shots of the American Civil War, and six years after uprooting the family due to her husband's new job, Nettie Mae Whitlock found herself pregnant for the second time. On February 17th, 1843, she gave birth to a beautiful blonde boy with bright green eyes whom she named Jasper. He was five years younger than his sister Dixie, and twelve years old than his brother, Jack, who came a time later. He was a good baby, and a joy to his father, Lee, who had prayed for a son years before. The Whitlock family was not one of great wealth, but Lee earned moderate pay, which allowed them to living in some comfort. He dreamt of great success for his son, to make him and his mother proud, and to someday raise a family of his own. He never had much to fear, because Jasper showed much promise very quickly, and was a true blessing to all.
The pride of the Whitlock family, Jasper was a well behaved young man, and always did his best to assist and obey. He was always a little on the quiet side, never speaking much unless he had thought out his words. As he grew older, he showed a great protectiveness over his sister and mother, often escorting them both on errands in town and to church socials. Jasper was never one for many friends; he preferred to stay close to the homestead. His mother often joked many a time that Jasper would never marry and would remain by her side till her death.
With the birth of his younger brother, her half hearted predictions could not have been truer, as Nettie Mae did not survive his birth. Tried what they could, the blood loss was too extreme, and she slipped away late into the night. Jasper had wept openly over his mother's lifeless body, clinging to her hand, soft prayers under his breath. They laid her to rest underneath a large oak not far from the house. Even in death, he never really left her, often visiting her grave, never saying a word, only sitting in silence beside her.
Jack was quite the handful before he reached two years of age, and Jasper did all that he could to assist Dixie in his care. Despite the age gap, he was much closer to Jack than he had ever been to his sister. Like a shadow, Jack rarely left Jasper's side, often mimicking his gestures or facial expressions. It was very clear the extreme admiration that Jack had for his older brother, and from the new light in Jasper's eyes that hadn't been there in years, it was evident that the admiration went both ways.
The beginning of the Civil war shook up their small family. While fighting hadn't necessarily entered their exact territory, the call to arms was evident throughout and impossible to ignore. Jasper had argued with his father on numerous occasions over who should go, Lee feeling a strong duty to his country and to protect his family. Jasper wouldn't hear of it, considering himself able-bodied and strong enough to survive such a conflict. After a particularly thunderous argument, Lee informed him that he would be leaving in the morning to fight, and that Jasper could either look after his siblings for him or he could leave.
Later that evening, after all were in bed, Jasper crept in to see his brother and his sister one last time before leaving. He left a note by Dixie's bed, and a kiss atop Jack's head.
He filtered in with the other soldiers arriving for duty the next morn, and then he was gone, never to see his family again.
The war took him many places and many battles, some within weeks of each other. Those weeks turned into months, and those months turned into years. He did not return to Texas territory the very end of 1862, eager to aide in what would hopefully be a return in control of Galveston. They were rewarded when on the very first day of 1863, under the command of General Magruder, they were able to gain back the area.
His direct superior allowed him a chance to make a return visit to his family before they returned to more northern states, and he took the opportunity immediately.
However, within hours of his travel that day, he came upon Maria and her two sisters, Lucy and Nettie, like his mothers'.
It was as if the sweet natured, bright green eyed, mother's boy from Texas ceased to exist, and while the Whitlock family never seemed to recover from the loss of their eldest son and brother, they weren't the only ones feeling the loss and detachment from the family they loved.
The years he spent with Maria, he despised to recall. Whether a plea of temporary insanity or like lost chapters of a book found washed ashore, it was forgotten from the minute he left her. In the darker recesses of his mind, he preferred to envision Maria murdered by those of her own army. She was never as strong as he and if they managed a revolt again her, she would have been ripped apart without so much as a second to defend herself. Images of her potential demise always left him with a slight feeling of vindication, and that was only when he made a specialized effort to remember her and his life within her grasp.
A chance meeting with Alice at a diner at a particularly low point for him would bring him some solace. He soon found himself on yet another large lifestyle change. Something that he would perhaps never find himself getting used to, but something that was evidently determined to pass every few decades. Different from the last few, this one led him to a better place, and a better use of his existence.
To feel like a family again was suddenly so foreign, and Jasper feared he would never fit in with them. Even as they welcomed him, he could not shake the feeling of being an outsider. In addition, there was the new change in diet that he was so completely unaccustomed to.
"Vegetarian." Esme had said with a sweet smile on her lips. Vegetarianism is what they had nicknamed it, almost mockingly. While he disagreed with the word choice, he didn't mind it, because he loved any words that graced her lips.
Esme was a light in the darkness of his century, much in the way that Alice was. She was kind and positive, and sometimes felt like the glue that truly held the 'family' together. She had taken him in so lovingly and so openly, it made him long for his own mother's embrace. The regret and longing was something he had many years under his belt to squelch, yet, nothing can break the bond of love between a mother and child. It was eternal, just as he had become, which was nothing more than a beacon of immortality that he had wished for her so long before while she bled her humanity into shallow pools beside him. But with Esme, she was as immortal as he, and he was able to let go of his abandonment fear and allow her to take him as one of hers. He felt the need to be at her side often, and to protect her, perhaps out of ingrained habit. It had taken him weeks to stop calling her 'ma'am,' even with all the teasing he had endured from Emmett and Edward.
To focus on Esme would be unfair, for all of the Cullen family had readily accepted him. Carlisle hugged him the day he met him, and went above and beyond to make him feel comfortable. His new brother's shook his hand, and nudged his shoulder in their own affectionate manner. Even Rosalie made the effort to talk to him, and within a few days, he felt like he had been living with them for his eternity. While live with the Cullen's was a bliss, he still felt the disassociation of not quite belonging.
It didn't help that he was struggling to curb his need for the blood of humans. It felt so unfair that he should possess the ability to calm another; yet, no one could calm him when the blood lust grew to unbearable levels. Alice would hold his hands, and talk him down. Sometimes a brief trip out into the woods and tearing into the flesh of a brute animal could dissuade the need. For the most part, he suffered in silence, not wanting to become any more of an outsider.
When the decision was made for the younger members to attend school, he listened while some of the others argued their points. Carlisle explained over and over again their reasoning. They looked young enough to be in high school, and it would help the family integrate better into the community. People had begun to ask too many questions about his supposedly homeschooled adopted children, and it would just be easier to blend in if they went for a year or two, and then they could remain in Forks until another relocation would be necessary.
Edward was surprisingly the most volatile in his words of anger. He couldn't seem to bear the thought of living a part of his life that coincided with humans. His words felt full of hatred, but it was misplaced, as his feelings of jealousy were overwhelming Jaspers mind. Jasper understood why Edward might feel the way that he did, and it would have been a lie for he himself to have pretended that he didn't feel the same at times. At some point, though, to not let go of those feelings would be a futile exercise in the dramatics, because his situation was not going to be changing, and that he would always remain the same. Edward would as well.
In the end, even with a family vote, Edward was outnumbered, and they would be attending school. Unfortunately, had he realized how miserable he would feel the first weeks of school, he may have voted otherwise.
The smell of the humans was so heavy in the air that it crept into every part of his brain, and refused to allow him any other thoughts. While the others seemed fairly well adjusted to the new atmosphere, or were at least pretending to very well, he was in agony.
After the first week of school has ended, Carlisle found him sitting out behind the house next to a large oak that he had deemed to be his favorite early on, as it reminded him of his mother's tree. It wasn't the first time he had gone outside to think, away from Edwards prying mind, and Alice's visions, but he had been out there much longer than the normal periods of time he had spent, and it was beginning to worry Esme, who had clearly sent her husband to check on him.
Carlisle's long, thick arm wrapped around his shoulders, and pulled him close. He didn't speak for a few minutes, taking in the sights of the woods before him. He felt the same concern that Esme had, and was vaguely aware from Edward of Jasper's tendency to feel alienated. "I know this is not a line that will be new to you, so, I won't pretend like my words will comfort you immediately… But at some point, things will get better. Human blood lust is not easily controlled over night, and we know that this is very new to you." Jasper let the words fall into the silence, neither acknowledging them nor ignoring them, simply letting them be.
"Now, Esme is very worried about you. She loves you, Jasper, as we all do. Even Rosalie, on her worst days." His warm grin made the younger man feel a bit more at ease, and almost let himself laugh at the reality of the joking comment. Carlisle gave him a brief but tight squeeze and then released him to find his footing once again. Giving one last look down at the hardened soul below him, "do not be afraid to be with us, Jasper. We know that that is what you want and what you desire most and we want nothing more than to give that to you, because we need it ourselves. We offer you family and loyalty, and you will never owe us anything in return except to open up to us." Without waiting for a reply, he wandered off back into the house.
He let his father figure's words sink in a bit more, and when he finally returned to the house hours later, he felt a bit mentally stronger. Optimism came upon him that he hadn't felt in a little while, and he knew that he could eventually work through his yearning, and live a more humane lifestyle.
And over time, his urge to bite them lessened, some normalcy returning to him. That is, until Edward had to develop an attachment to that stupid human girl.
Bella. The very name made his insides twist and he could practically see a dark foreboding cloud gathering over the Cullen household. It was all anyone seemed to talk about, and a general feeling of unease was felt from all members of the family. Rosalie held the strongest emotion, slowly becoming quieter when home, preferring to retreat to her room, letting only Emmett in, and rarely, Alice.
When Edward informed the family that he wanted to have over a human visitor, he thought a fight might break out.
"Edward, you can NOT bring her here! That's an absolute disaster waiting to happen. I do not want a human in my home! It's bad enough we're around them every day in school, but now you've befriended one? I know how this is going to end! Alice? Alice, don't you see it too?" Rosalie's normally beautiful features were dark and angry and her yelling could be heard by anyone in the outlying areas. She gestured, roughly pointing her finger at Edward. "You are going to put us all in jeopardy! How can you be so selfish?"
"That's enough, Rosalie." Carlisle said firmly, placing an arm in front of her and one in front of his son. "This is getting out of hand. Now, I understand that we are all concerned about some of the decisions he has been making, but they are his to make." She looked to protest again, but Esme reached out, pulling her down beside the older woman, and that seemed to calm her.
Jasper could no longer take the tension in the room, and felt to waste the energy on the calming of the others would be futile, as the girl would still come. He would need to save it for then.
So, he fled. Even his favorite tree did nothing to soothe him, and he ventured further in the woods. The moon was high above him, and he felt both camouflaged and bathed by its light. While creatures of the sun slept peacefully, the nocturnal ventured around him, but he wasn't hungry for them. He couldn't even pinpoint what he was hungry for.
He made it to a clearing; one that he knew led to a cliff overlooking the water. Its beauty had never escaped him, and so he sometimes came to just look at the freedom the water seemed to provide. Large waves crashed below him, ones that could both carry you under and carry you away, never to be seen again. Growing up, he had never seen much of the ocean or large bodies of water, and even in his military travels, he had seen so much land. Only at the end did he find himself in a rather coastal venture, but clearly, that had only aided in leading him astray. He didn't think he could ever get sick of watching the water, and left to his own devices, he could envision himself being there for days alone.
A rustling sound from behind startled him, with the scent of something potentially human wafting his way, he ran to hide himself away from the potential wanderer. He squatted down just behind a particularly thick patch of brush tossed aside from the last rainstorm, and peeked just over it to identify his intruder.
It was a young man, barely over sixteen years of age. He was slowly walking up to where Jasper had stood only moments prior, and took a seat in almost the exact spot. Swiping at his eyes, the boy hung his head for a few minutes before taking the opportunity to look out over the cliff. A restless cloud removed itself from its perch over the moon, letting the fullness light up the boy's features.
Small but identifiable, a slight twinge in Jaspers chest let him know that his heart hadn't left him after Maria, and that this boy whom he didn't know could arise something in him. He blew it off, chalking it up to the loneliness that he had been feeling as of late.
The wind softly blew, changing its direction ever so slight. Bringing him down wind, he could now breathe in the boys scent. It was intoxicating. Like a sweet perfume made up of the most delicate flowers crossed with a musk that spoke volumes of earthiness. He closed his eyes and let the scent overtake him. It looped through his passages and he couldn't get enough. Unfortunately, the old adages that everything good is bad rang very true as he felt the blood thirst awaken and rise to the surface. He wanted to devour the boy, and it was taking every ounce of self control he had not to rip through the brush and suck him dry.
He fled before he was to make a fatal mistake and endanger the lives of his family.
Jasper had all but forgotten of the incident after a week or two. It was impossible to enjoy ones own thoughts in the Cullen household, what with the drama that had descended upon their normally private world.
Rosalie was still barely on speaking terms with Edward because of Bella, which confused Emmett, and made him seek out Jasper for company more often. Alice seemed to be getting visions so often, some decipherable, some very not. Even sweet Esme found herself invaded by the tension, and Jasper continually found her pacing the kitchen, as if unsure of her next move.
Feeling the need to leave chaos, he propositioned Emmett for a hunting trip in the woods. Emmett, needing the escape more than any, agreed immediately.
"I needed this!" The large man yelled out into the thick patch of trees just beyond their land. "Blah blah, Edward, blah blah, Bella! It's enough to make a man crazy!" They shared a laugh, and continued a deeper venture. "So, the last time I was out here, I caught a weird scent." Jasper raised an eyebrow, but let his brother continue his memory. "It wasn't human, it wasn't vampire, it was like an animal, but not."
It was intriguing to think that there was some other creature in the woods besides them. "Did you follow its scent?"
"For awhile, but it went so far, I figured it was long gone by the time I picked up on it. Plus, I was alone." Jasper laughed at the thought of Emmett out in the woods, potentially scared. A six foot five man of pure brawny stature afraid of tracking something in the woods alone was rather pathetic, and a vampire at that. Emmett fixed him with a fine glare, responding, "I wasn't scared!" He shoved Jasper hard, throwing him to the ground a few yards away. "I just didn't want to track something unknown like that." He walked over, helping his brother up off the ground and still glaring.
"Its okay, Emmett. I won't tell anyone, but I'm still going to laugh about this later, I assure you." The pair continued on, but not without Jasper's laughter ringing out every so often, only to be temporarily squashed by the thudding of Emmett's fist into his arm.
They found themselves on the skirts of a ravine, running through the land. A light tinkling of water breaking up the landscape, and delicately crossing the rocks below. "This is where I followed it to."
"Did you cross to the other side?"
"No, I'm not familiar with this land. I had planned on telling Carlisle, but… You know… Stuff." They both nodded in the acknowledgement of the coming of Bella. "I don't smell it right here in this spot, but I swear, if I crossed over, I would smell it." Emmett leapt onto the other side of the ravine, waving his arms for Jasper to cross. "Yeah, I can smell it here! Come!"
Jasper hesitated, having never been in that part of the woods before. He looked into his brother's grinning face, and let the need to belong drag him to the other side where a powerful scent hit him immediately. "I… I do not know what that is." He felt just as confused as Emmett, until amidst all the new smells, he picked up a very slight, but present one. It was the boy from before, that slight perfume, so light, so sweet. He almost lost it among the pungent odors that Emmett had spoken of. "That's rather foul. Like…"
"Wet dog!" Emmett proclaimed, waving his arms around wildly. "Like a nasty wet dog!" Thunder cracked above them in that instant, only serving to make the moment seem crazier than it already was.
"I think it's to rain. We should go home." Jasper turned around, heading back across the ravine. "We ought to tell Carlisle about this, I have to worst feeling that this isn't a good thing."
"Aw, but we just barely got started! I haven't even fed yet!"
"You can feed later." Jasper led the two back to the house as quickly as he could, mindful of the rain, Emmett lagging slightly behind, complaining about the need to return. He looked behind them just as they were heading into the backdoor in time to see the trees rustling. Something had followed them.
He shoved Emmett out of his way, stumbling into the living room where Carlisle was curled up on the couch with Esme, clearly engrossed in some quiet time. "Emmett smelled something the other day and he showed me where it was across the ravine. It was like wet dogs, but they weren't animal or human or anything." Carlisle was at his feet before he'd even made a few words out. "I think whatever it was might have followed us…" Jasper bowed his head, feeling ashamed.
He knew they had been warned when they'd first moved to the area to stay within certain parameters of their home when hunting. Never given a real reason why, just told to mind the rules, and only hunt near their home unless they were out of Forks completely. It explained his hesitation in reaching the ravine, an unknown outlying area to him, and he should have followed his instinct rather than join his brother.
"Stay in the house!" Carlisle was out the backdoor before anyone had a chance to follow; his yells could be heard through the walls.
The three of them were joined by the other three, each confused about what to do and what was going on. Jasper let his eyes meet Esme's, his shame and her concern, and without Edward's mind reading ability, they were able to communicate with each other the need to follow him outside.
They were met with the sight of Carlisle standing in front of a pack of what could only be described as giant wolves, the size of horses. "We meant no harm!" He yelled, waving his arms, grabbing their attention. The wolves snarled and growled, not backing down. "My name is Carlisle Cullen, and this is my family. I think you can hear me, I-Edward, if you would please."
Edward took a few steps toward them, strangely cocky and cautious all at once. He seemed to be listening for a moment before turned back towards his father. "They're very angry. One of us was on their land. It goes against… the treaty?" Everyone shared a confused look at the mention of a treaty, as it was the first of it that they had heard.
Carlisle shook his head, and continued to wave his arms, as if signaling surrender. "It was an accident. We were hunting, and we're new to the area. As soon as Emmett went onto the land, he knew he'd made a mistake and immediately returned. Nothing was harmed on your land, I assure you." He looked to Edward for a response from the wolf pack.
"They say if it happens again, we will have a war on our hands." Jasper watched as his very immature brother rolled his eyes, as if not taking this confrontation seriously at all. Before anyone could intervene, a wolf came leaping from the group, snapping its jaws just mere inches from Edwards nose. Instead of backing away, he leaned forward towards the wolf, growling back in response.
Having heard the man raise his voice so rarely, it felt so odd hearing it directed at Edward, whom he'd always perceived as Carlisle's favorite. "Edward, get back, right now!" It was angry and intimidating, like a father protecting his children. Jasper took a step closer to Esme, reaching for her hand, nervously needing the comfort. She gave him a brief squeeze before stepping forward to reach for her husband. They stood together, watching the wolves retreat back into the woods, no one daring say a word.
It wasn't until they were back in the safety of the house that anything was spoken. They sat together in the living room, eyeing one another, nervous about what this event would mean to them individually. "I'm sorry that I had not told any of you sooner. I take full responsibility for what has come upon us tonight. Wolves. Of the Quileute tribe. I made a deal when I first moved here with the tribes leaders that we would not step on their land, and with enough land between them and us, I truly didn't think that would happen."
"I don't get it. So, what are they? Just a bunch of wolves? That's not exactly that scary." Emmett shrugged, and looked around for agreement.
Carlisle could only shake his head. "They're more like werewolves. Shapeshifters. They only transform when in the midst of vampires. It's to protect their land. They must have been sensing us over time, and now it's clear that the younger members have started to transform."
"They can't hurt us, can they? We're immortal." Alice scooted up closer to Jasper, and he put his arm around her, holding her closer. He could feel a little bit of fear coming from her, but Alice was always so cheerful and confident, emotions like those never stayed.
"They are our natural enemy. We can, in reality, defeat each other. Now, it will hopefully never come to that. I want to make this very clear to you all now, we will not willfully step foot on their land, understood?" Everyone nodded in agreement, no one wanting to challenge his authoritative voice. "We shall steer clear of La Push at all costs, and try to keep this as peaceful situation as we can."
"The Indian reservation?" Edward cried out in shock. "I knew there was another reason why those guys smelled so bad to me."
Rosalie's eyes narrowed as she turned her attention to Edward. "You only say that, because one of them wants your precious Bella. Maybe you should let the mutt have her and let's all be done with this!" She stormed off, followed by Alice, who followed clearly to diffuse the situation. Edward huffed a few times, and then went off to his own room, presumably to pout, as he was inclined to do when someone insulted Bella.
Before anyone could comment on her outburst, Emmett left the room as well, leaving Jasper alone with Esme and Carlisle. He looked up to see Carlisle looking right at him. He felt about two feet tall under his gaze, like a scolded toddler.
"I'm not mad at you, Jasper. You mustn't look up at me with those eyes, I will not yell at you. You are free to go to your room as well, but please obey us in that you will not court trouble again by venturing onto their land."
He stood up, bowing slightly. "You have my word." With that, he sought out his own room, desperate to get away from everyone for a moment to reflect."
Unlike the rest of them, Jasper had wanted a bed in his room. When he was a small boy, he would lay in his bed whenever there was down time and simply day dream. Now, as an adult with nothing else but time on his hands, it was still his favorite. The only difference is that now he dreamed of being that boy again, lying on that bed. He could feel the heat of the bright Texas sun, seeping into his skin, and bleaching out his hair. In the driest of summers, wrestling with his little brother Jack out by the well, or helping Dixie carry a particularly heavy glass jar to the table, chock full of her delicious lemonade recipe.
He laid in his bed, dreaming his night away, the excitement from the evening dying down amongst the family members. Reaching above him, he carefully slid open the window above his bed, wanting to smell the fresh scent of rain that might waft in.
The air licked at his face and wound around his nostrils, and he gasped at it, hurrying to sit up. That smell. The boy was near.
He slipped out of his room, hoping to make his exit unnoticed. Luckily, everyone seemed to have hidden themselves away, and no one roused at the sound of him slipping out the front door.
Even with the lights of the house, it was hard to make out details underneath the canopy of trees that seemed to hide the ground. He crept around to the back of the house, feeling emotion coming at him in waves. Pain. Strong jealously. Anger. Above all those, depression. It seemed to run deep, found in someone who had been suffering a long time.
Jasper could barely make out a tail from under a large pile of leaves and broken sticks, a couple years from his favorite tree. He leaned up against it, trying to hide his excitement in finally seeing this boy… well… now wolf, face to face. "I could smell your jealousy all the way from my room." His voice clearly startled the other boy, and in a fit of shock, he watched him shift from wolf to human form again.
Laying there, in complete naked glory, breathing heavy with anxiety, was the boy he had watching on the cliff. The house lights sparkled off his eyes, and made him seem even more enticing and magical. Jasper walked over to him, looking down into his eyes, a light smirk on his face. "I didn't think one of you would return. Especially not alone…"
The boy looked panic stricken, grasping for a lie. His fear so strong and evident. "It was an accident. I… I got lost when I was chasing something."
"And yet you fault us when one slips up onto your property by accident? So close to our home, should I not fault you?" He wanted to chuckle at the truth and humor in his words. The boy was shaking below him, perhaps from being cold, out in the middle of the night without his warm fur or any apparel. Or perhaps out of raw emotion.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you, I just got lost. I'll leave, I promise."
Jasper took a couple steps back to lean up again his tree again. It didn't take much for him to figure out why the boy had really come. The only person naïve enough to stir up drama between humans and vampires was Edward, and jealous teenage boys could be nothing but trouble. "Maybe you'd best stay. You seem to have yourself quite worked up, and I would hate for you to return to your… people in this manner, only to have them somehow turn it around against us. Why don't you tell me why you're really here, because I doubt that this particular invasion was an accident?" He looked at him inquisitively.
With all the prompting he clearly needed, the young man started out. "I hate him. I hate him so much. I hate him, because he took her away from me, and I barely had a chance. Everyone seems to have everything so figured out, so perfect. He shows up, and she shows up, and then it's perfect. I've been waiting all these years and all I get is hurt and upset, and everything is so messed up, and now I'm a werewolf!"
So, he had been infatuated with Bella too. The poor pup. Watching him cry out in this manner drove home deep into Jasper his humanity. Emotions seeped into him from all angles, every feeling a person was capable of it, that boy had them all at once. He couldn't deny how amazing it was to feel all of them at once, it made him feel so much closer to being alive again.
Jasper knelt down in front of him, looking down at him rubbing at his eyes. When he was finished, he found himself face to face with the most beautiful brown eyes, and he searched him, looking for some light behind all the darkness. What he saw in return was nothing but a longing, a desperate need crying out from the depths of his soul. "You are a dichotomy of emotions... What is your name?"
"Jacob. Jacob Black."
"I'm Jasper, Edward's brother. The one of whom your hate seems to be heavily directed." He put his hand out to Jacob, which the younger man tentatively took. The heat of his hand was intense, and for a moment, Jasper felt it trail up his arm towards an area that he hadn't felt warmth in, in a long time. He released the hand, nervous of the feeling. "I will not harm you, unprovoked. I cannot grant a similar fate shall I potentially cross paths with your pack. I should be off or my absence may rouse suspicion. I'm sure I will see you again..."
He turned to walk back to the house, ready to get rid of the nervous feeling that had begun in his belly from their contact. A hand touched at his back, and he whirled around to face Jacob once again. "Yes?"
In bashful tones, Jacob inquired, "Why will you not harm me, but will harm them?"
"Because they seek us with anger. Their only sense of being is caused by us, that alone confuses and angers them. You, on the other hand, seek solace, and I am no stranger to the need to find that." He gave the other a moment to let his words process, and then hurried off back into the house.
Jasper thought about that night for too long. It permeated through every thought, and hung onto the back of his mind like a bad headache that never wants to go away. It was enough to keep him dazed throughout school, and quiet when home.
He kept replaying the feel of Jacob's hand inside of his own, soft and hot. His veins had flared alive at the touch, and it was as if there was blood flowing through him once again, on a mission to his heart. It was stupid to keep dwelling on something so inconsequential, and in the span of his many lifetimes, this tiny moment had him smitten.
Everyone seemed so wrapped up in their own problems that he was able to pull away from the family for a bit without being noticed. Edward, as always, being confident in his newfound love for Bella, had brought her home an evening, days later.
Esme had the fortunate opportunity to break out her china for the first time, excitedly laying more than enough plates out on the table. Alice and Rosalie aided her in a tossed salad and something they claimed was a very popular Italian dish. They giggled and clanked things around. Emmett tried to jump in and help, but was shooed away after quickly breaking something Rosalie had been using.
When Bella arrived, they all grouped nervously around the landing at the top of the stairs as Edward brought her up. After learning she had already eaten, however, Rosalie snapped, and drama once again ensued. They stayed away from the couple, letting them hide off in Edward's room.
Alice convinced the family it would be a fun idea to watch a video together, and he found himself in the living room between his sisters, obediently viewing something romantic and awful.
When they heard the front door click, it was clear their sibling had finally escorted his date from their home. "Jasper, darling, will you just check on them for me to make sure everything is okay. They've been awfully quiet."
"Yes ma'am," he agreed right as Rosalie snapped "I hope that's because he bit her and sucked her dry." As he left the room, he snickered at Esme's immediate scold "Rosalie!"
For once, it was a clear night with a nice breeze. He wasn't downwind of them, but he detected them easily even without. There was giggling, and then sounds of clear enjoyment. Not something he particularly wanted to witness, but Esme had asked him awful nice to check on them, and that is what was required of a check. When he peaked around the corner, he saw him, just in the darkest corned of the back yard. Jacob.
In his most stealth manner, he took the long way around to place himself just behind where Jacob was standing in his wolf form. His smell was strong and beautiful, but it was overshadowed by the also strong feelings of sadness and longing.
"You've returned." Jasper said softly, patiently waiting for the wolf to change back. "I wondered if you might return." And he did, turned to face the vampire, once again, beautifully nude and eyes shining.
"And it was a mistake to come here. I will be leaving now."
"I do not believe in mistakes, Jacob, only a series of connected coincidences. You came back for a reason. I don't think you should leave until you've gotten what you came here for." He stepped out from the shadows, revealing himself to Jacob.
He scoffed, and gestured towards where Bella and Edward had been moments before. "Clearly, I came here for the show."
Jasper shook his head, sensing other emotions rolling off of him in waves. "You didn't come here for them. You don't seem like the type who would intentionally put himself through that, so I don't believe you. What's the real reason?"
Exhibiting the most nervous of laughs, he responded. "Right. And I should just tell you everything, why? I don't even know you. How come you keep finding me, anyway? It's like you're stalking me." Jacob pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tightly in an expression of annoyance.
Smirking and crossing his arms, Jasper wanted to laugh. He could feel it even stronger now. It was lust. It was pulling at him, trying to bring him towards Jacob. While he could have tamed it, he only let the feeling fester around him, letting it remind him that he had felt something so similar the last time he was with the wolf. "You believe that I am stalking you?" He raised one eyebrow as he started to walk towards Jacob. "I think, perhaps, that you have it a bit twisted. I think it is you that is stalking me." He stepped closer to Jacob, close enough to make out all the details of his chocolate brown eyes.
The younger man scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm done here."
He looked to be turning around, but Jasper was faster, grabbing him and holding his arm tightly. "If you think I don't know why you're here, then you're dead wrong. You came to see me, and I knew you would the night I met you. This is what you wanted, isn't it?" His voice was so sharp and he made sure to emphasize every word.
There was fear in the boys eyes, and it was enough for him to spill. "I… I couldn't stop thinking about you. I didn't even know you and I told you everything."
Jasper was slightly taken aback by the admission, because he, too, could not stop thinking of the other. He knew why the boy had thought only of him, it was the draw of the vampire, but as to why he thought only of Jacob, there was no reason for it. "Of course you couldn't. I can sense your emotions, and I can change them. You were a lovesick teenager and I made you settle down. Are you going to follow me around now like the lost puppy that you are?"
Jacob didn't respond right only, he was only able to stare at him, eyes wide. Anger forming in his brain. "I am not a lovesick teenager! I have been through a lot of shit in my life, and don't you even dare begin to tell me what I am and what I am not!" His face began to redden with his frustration, and he shook against Jasper, trying to pull his arm free. "Let go of me!"
Just to merely touch his skin was spreading the warmth throughout Jasper, and he was most definitely not wanting to let go of the good feeling. "Not until you admit that I'm right." He smiled at Jacob's struggle, feeling rather playful under the circumstances.
"I don't want anything to do with you! Fine, you're right. I'm pathetic, and I came here to see you again. I'm a lost puppy. Now, let me go!" Jasper let go at the exact moment that Jacob pulled, and he watched the boy fall to the ground. Before he could stop himself, he was down on top of him. As Jacob struggled against him, Jasper struggled against the lust that kept pulling him closer to the boy. He was so close, and if the boy would stop, he could get closer. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"
"Shouldn't I be asking the same thing?" He heatedly replied, the pull of him to Jacob getting stronger by the minute.
"This is not a game!" Jacob cried out.
"I think it is. You strayed from your family, little wolf, and there is no one here to protect you. Not in the real world."
"I thought you said you wouldn't harm me." Was his earned response, barely intelligible from the panting that the young man was doing.
"And I have not yet, have I?" They locked eyes for a moment. "I'm only giving you what you want. You wanted to be near me, and I couldn't be closer to you than I am right now."
"This isn't what I wanted! I just wanted to talk to you."
Their faces drew closer, and Jasper felt giddy from the rush of heat he was gaining by pressing him so close to Jacob. "But I know what you need." With that, he closed the gap between them and kissed the young man.
The heat burned him from all angles, and it was so hot and intense, he felt so alive. He couldn't get enough of it. It ran through his veins, through his heart, and his mind. Jacob surged up against him, and Jasper slipped his hand behind the other boy's head, pulling him as close as he could get, needing to devour him in his kiss. Jacob pulled at his sides, pulling him closer. The heat was finally proving to be too much, and Jasper felt it clawing its way out of him. The blood lust. He needed to bite the boy, and he needed to bite him hard. 'Now!' his mind screamed, repeating it until he ripped himself away. What was once suffocating heat, he now returned back to the numb and cold, and he wanted to cry at its loss, but he knew had he not pulled away, he would surely have bitten Jacob.
"No. Please, don't stop." He reached for the Vampire, but Jasper sat back on his knees shaking his head.
"I can't. That was… a temporary lapse in judgment. I felt you pulling, I-" He paused, and for a moment, his nervousness was written all over his face. "Something is different. Jacob, do you feel different? Something isn't the same about you." It wasn't the same pull before, the harsh lust from before was replaced with a feeling that had no name. It was just as strong and just as intoxicating, and once again, Jasper felt himself with the pull to be close again.
The boy shifted around nervously. "I'm still the same. I think…"
His forehead creased. "No, Jacob, it's not on the outside, it's on the inside. Even I feel different this time."
"Different how?"
Jasper felt panicked and needed to flee. "I have to go." He got up off his knees, and all but ran to the house, leaving behind the emotions of fear and longing that Jacob always exhibited.
He raced into the house, slamming the door, and laid against it. The entire family looked up at him, concerned.
"Jasper, is everything okay?" Carlisle started to rise, frightened by the wildly scared look in his son's eyes, and head towards him, but Jasper darted off to his room, quickly shutting the door. He followed, regardless, and knocked tentatively on the door. "Jasper, may I come in, please?"
Very softly, he heard his response, "no. Please. I need time."
On the other side of the door, Jasper was laying in his bed, face pressed into a pillow. He wanted to hide, to wipe himself from the day.
His bloodlust had almost gotten the best of him. He'd let it draw him so close to a human, and an enemy at that, and he was frightened at the thought that he may be losing his resolve to remain free from human blood.
He wanted to cry into that pillow, and he wanted to feel the pain of his former human emotions, like Jacob had been throwing at him. All he could muster up was sadness and fear. Fear for being potentially kicked out of his still very new family for being unable to control himself, and sadness for the potential loss of them. He was scared to leave his home or that very room.
The fear overtook him, and he remained in his room another night, until his hunger made it impossible for him to lie any longer. Alice greeted him the moment his door opened, her perfect, cheerful face grinning up at his. "I've been waiting for you, Jasper." She said, ever so sweetly, reaching for his hand. "Let us feed and I will tell you what I've seen of your future."
She led him out of the house and into the woods. With lightning speed, he watched her take out a deer, barely half a mile from their home. She motioned him over to the creature lying below her, allowing him to drink from her kill. They hunted for a mere half hour before turning back to the house.
Somewhere along the way, she reached for his hand again, giving him soft squeezes, never saying a word. When they reached the back porch, she pulled him to face her. Her small hand left his to push a hair away from his face. It was a very motherly gesture, and one that spoke more than she could say in expressing her love of him. "You will leave us, Jasper." His eyes went wide in panic, but she shushed him immediately, a finger over his lips. "No, we will not send you way, Jasper. You will leave us behind."
"Why would I- when would I… That makes no sense; I would never leave unless someone made me!"
She kept her smile, one so warm and tender. "You will leave us for another, and it's okay, because it will be a good thing."
Another? He didn't even know any other vampires except the ones from his past and they were so long gone from his life, he doubted they would even be able to find him. "Who? Who would make me want to leave my family?"
"Someone who you will make your family. I cannot tell you who, because I can't see their face, but I know you are happy. I see you and you are smiling, and it's so blinding that it reaches your eyes." She looked almost sad at the admission, and it made Jasper sad for her.
"When? When will I be leaving?" Jasper tried to remain calm, but he could help but feel scared. His life was about to change again, and no matter what Alice said, no one could make him that happy to be away from his family. Not the military. Not Maria. Not anything. Family was family and he didn't want to make the mistake again.
"Four days. Maybe three. Please don't be frightened. This is going to be a good thing."
"How can you say that?" He yelled back, the panic rising into his voice.
She laid her hand over his heart. "Because I can see how happy you are, and I've never seen you look this happy before."
Jasper didn't want to believe Alice's vision, but he wasn't willing to take any risks. He spent every moment of the few days he had till he would supposedly be leaving with his family. He gossiped with Rosalie, hugged Esme as much as he thought he could get away with, rough housed with Emmett, played piano with Edward, watched awful movies with Alice, and talked to Carlisle until he thought the man was getting sick of his presence.
And on the fourth day from when Alice told the vision to him, he sat in his room, waiting. Just waiting.
A storm had started outside, and the rain and wind was whipping across his windows. He pressed his face into the slightly cracked window, wanting to smell the fresh rain one last time from his favorite place in his bed.
As it had before, it hit him again. Jacob. He could smell him. Not as strong as he had before, but he could smell him through a thunderstorm. Was this what Alice saw, him running out into the night after Jacob?
He didn't wait around to think it over, instead taking off after the scent, out into the rain and the woods. He ran, picking up speed, as he stretched his abilities to the brink, not losing the scent he had caught.
There, in the same place he had first seen the boy, Jacob stood.
The feelings of deepest despair surrounded him, and he felt the pull to Jacob once again. Jacob had his arms outstretched, eyes closed, being soaked to the bone by the rain that was picking up.
Slowly, he walked closer to him. The emotions that hit him were so sad and aching, he felt the longing just as strong at Jacob had to be feeling it, and he knew in that moment why Jacob had set out for the cliff.
He was going to kill himself. The emotions had clearly eaten at him for so long that he felt unable to withstand it and now he was going to end his short life.
The pull on him was so strong this time, that he let it take him and bring him to Jacob up on the cliff. He wrapped his arms around the boy from behind, and the heat engulfed him, and he closed his own eyes, letting it fill up all his senses.
This time, he couldn't contain himself, and when the lust to bite gathered within him, he couldn't help but lose his resolve. Selfish want enveloped him, and without a second thought, he laid his teeth upon Jacob's neck. However, as soon as his teeth punctured the delicious skin below him, he lost the urge to drink from him, and it was replaced with that to claim the boy.
Gasping, Jacob tensed and let out a quick yell before losing his fight with the venom. Jasper held him tightly in his arms, letting it take his life. He began to whisper a mantra into the younger's ear. "Hush now, Jacob. Everything is going to be okay." Softly, he repeated it until he went limp, and the dark haired head lulled back onto Jasper's shoulder. He nuzzled against him, breathing in his scent.
He knew that Jacob would soon away, and if this was truly was Alice had seen, then maybe he never truly left his family.
The sweet lash lined lids of the younger man fluttered open, their eyes met, and every mistake, and every worry he had ever made or had up until that point was completely forgotten, all his insecurities leaving him for the first time.
Jasper knew he had finally found his way home.
"Hush now, Jacob... Everything is going to be okay."