What Does Derrida Know of BICEPS?
By Bionic Groin
Garzooka was working out in the gym one day. Working out is what he did to maintain his monstrously muscular body.
Odious was spotting.
As he did military presses to isolate his triceps, Garzooka pontificated aloud, "Working out is communication. You are presenting a signifier to your muscles signifying that they must get ripped. As a form of meta-communication I talk to my muscles all the time and tell them to get more ripped. It helps them grow. I tell them I love them and they return the love by getting gloriously cut. Muscles are structured tissues. There are those that argue that structure and phenomenology are mere constructs." He put the dumbbell down, turned to Odious, and said, "What does Derrida know of BICEPS!?"
Odious responded, "I heard Derrida was in fairly good shape." Odious does in fact speak. He just never says anything worth remembering.
Garzooka enjoyed having such a muscular body. He was a g-d and he prayed to his g-d-body with reps. Spinoza equated g-d with nature. Was his body nature? Surely it was a beast, but it was more than beast – it was all nature. Was the divine act of pumping bringing him into unity with the universe? If the universe and all in it is equivalent to gd then gd is the only thing that exists, and all that exists are a part of gd. For that moment, as he did lat pulldowns, stacking the machine and loading it with every free plate in the gym, his body was nature, nature was the universe, the universe was gd, he was gd, and he was all things. For that moment he was the entire universe. The matter of the whole universe was a weight being used to pump a single muscle whose fibers were those of reality itself. His workout transcended the dimensions of the physical, metaphysical, orthophysical, and paraphysical. His infinite muscles became infinite universes – they became galaxies that were toned, shredded, sliced, pumped, cut and ripped. Big bangs of striated muscle exploding with plyometric fury. His muscles filled the universe – they made the universe pregnant with the rock hard child of his gargantuan muscles. And the muscles had muscles orbiting around them like planets and satellites. Each muscle cell was like a solar system of ripped. When the whole universe was flexing and pumping with the flow of the pulsing metabolic beat, dripping with fresh sweat saturated with creatine supplements, then he became another dimension. A dimension where all the machines are totally stacked - it was the ripped dimension and he was king.
And Odious spotted.