Hey everyone. So I'm having a bit of writers block on your taste is my attention , so I kind of started just aimlessly writing this story. Its kind of the prequel for heartless. For you that haven't read any of my stories yet, I would recommend reading heartless first, this story is kind of a spoiler.

-Lannah

I used to dance. When I was younger. Ballet mostly… I loved it so much. It was my world. My brother used to laugh at me all the time. He used to tell me there was no way I could be a professional dancer, I was to spacey. I used to get so mad at him, tell him he was crushing my dreams. He knew how to get under my skin, that's for sure. Josh was funny like that though… I knew he loved me, he always did. He just had a funny way of showing it for a really long time. Until he had to be a parent to me that is. He was good at it, he would have made a great father, and I would have been the greatest aunt. It's kind of sad actually, looking back on it. Neither one of us ever had the chance to be parents. My parents never got to be grandparents. It's amazing how once the possibility is taken away how much you miss it. I miss everything. My life wasn't the greatest. That's for sure, but the good times in the short period of time made it all worth while. When I was younger dancing was the only thing that mattered. It's funny how things can change.

When my parents died I was only thirteen years old. My brother was sixteen. They tried to split us up… send us to foster parents and group homes, but josh wouldn't have anything to do with that. He fought them night and day until one night they agreed to let him have full custody of me as long as he made sure we both went to school everyday and he allowed a social worker to come check in on us once a month. He was really smart when he was younger. And since our parents left everything to us, for a while, we really didn't have anything to worry about. We had a cozy apartment, money, food, everything we could need. But most importantly we had each other. The death of our parents hit us really hard, changed us. We went from being innocent children to pre-adults. We had to grow up really fast, josh more so then me. Looking back I wish I had understood more, I wish I had made it easier for him. I wish a lot of things.

I guess, as do many stories, this story begins with the end. But unlike most people, the end is really where my life began. I guess that's one of the most unfortunate things about dying at such a young age. After seeing the big picture, the puzzle with all its pieces in their places, the beginning and the end are so close together it's hard to tell them apart. There are so many things I never even imagined I wanted when I was alive that now that it's over… I would give anything for. It's hard to accept. Looking back… there's so many things I would have done differently. But I can't bring myself to completely regret the decisions I made throughout my life. Because when it all comes down to it… if the horrible things in my life hadn't of happened I wouldn't have met him.

Chapter 1 Lust and Alcohol

Montreal, Canada

2006

The sweat glazed my sun kissed skin and I rocked my hips back and forth to the fast beat of the music. I was 18, I lived in one of the biggest cities in my country and I loved to party. Josh leaned against the bar and chatted with a friend of his as the song slowly transitioned into another. I pushed my way through the crowd over to him and grabbed the bottle of beer out of his hand. "You guys are lame you know that right?" I drunkenly giggled at their anti-social behavior as I took a large gulp.

He laughed before snatching his beer back. "Just because we don't feel the need to dry hump people on the dance floor? That's apparently what makes you lame now-a-days?"

"I was not dry humping! You jerk, I was dancing all by my lonesome." I giggled before continuing "But any who… i'm going out for a smoke, you guys coming?"

Josh pointed out that his beer was still almost completely full and pushed me playfully towards the door before returning to his previous conversation. I squeezed and shoved my way through the tangle of bodies towards the exit and sighed as the cool fresh air hit my skin. I walked away from the doors of the club and sat down on the curb, staring in complete wonder at the stars. As my cigarette began to widdle away to ash, it seemed the stars did as well. Large black clouds swept across the sky and blacked out every last twinkle. I frowned.

"What's with the long face?"

I jumped with surprise as a voice rang out from directly beside me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" he laughed.

The boy who sat next to me looked maybe a couple years older than me. He was really good looking actually. Dark brown hair, blue eyes. Lots of muscle. I laughed nervously.

"No, it's my fault sorry, I just kind of zoned out watching the stars.' He smiled at me. I remember it all too clearly. I thought I was in love. "I was just about to go back into the bar to meet back up with my brother. Would you like to come?" I offered, completely in awe.

He laughed and agreed. "I'm Nathen. "He pushed his hand out towards me.

"Melli."

As the hours passed by Nathen and I became quick friends. We talked, we drank, we danced and when it was time to go home he wrapped his strong arms around my small frame and held me. I remember I never wanted to leave that position. My ability to think was corrupted by lust and alcohol. I handed him a small paper that I had written my phone number on before running towards the cab waiting for me.

"Melli's got a booooyyfrrieennd" josh laughed as he threw his arm lazily across my shoulder. I scoffed. "Doo not... I just met him." I tried to defend my self… to no avail.

"You looked pretty comfy all pressed up against him" he laughed again as I punch him playfully in the arm.

But one thing was for sure. I definitely saw Nathen as more then a friend.