Title: Can't, Don't
Summary: Everyone wants that elusive something that's just out of reach. It's human nature. Brennan's POV
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Booth/Brennan, brief appearance of Angela
Length: 550 words
Genres: romance, angst
A/N: Written for this month's Cullen's Bullpen Challenge.
Can't, Don't
Every time I see them together, I can't help but stop and stare. I make sure neither of them notices me watching, but I do. I stand there and watch. I don't even know why I do. Every time I see them together, this sad, almost cold feeling washes over me. I don't even know what it is.
Angela thinks she does.
"You want Booth," she told me one day, as she noticed me watching Booth and Doctor Saroyan through the glass door of my office. She smiled as she said this, for reasons I don't understand. "You wish it was you instead of Cam that he was kissing."
I disagreed. "No," I answered her, shaking my head. "Angela, no. I can't."
She only smiled broader. "Sweetie, just because you can't doesn't mean you don't," she said over her shoulder as she walked through my office door, leaving me confused.
I can't believe that. Coveting and jealousy are widely accepted as being wrong and as being sins, no matter what one believes. I believe that they're wrong. So, ethically speaking, I can't want Booth.
I'd be wanting another woman's man. And not just any woman, either. Doctor Saroyan is my boss. My superior. I can't want my superior's "mate." It'd be wrong and uncalled for.
Besides, Booth is more to me than just Doctor Saroyan's boyfriend. He's my partner and a close personal friend. I don't think I've ever considered him as a real romantic interest like Angela believes he should be to me.
I can't want him.
If I did, that could potentially ruin our great friendship, and then continue on to ruin our work relationship—our positions as partners. I know we could never be romantically involved, if only because of the danger and havoc the impending break-up would pose and wreak on our jobs.
So I just can't want him, because I can't have him.
But, really, when has "can't" ever stopped the human race? History is filled with examples of mankind overcoming things that they previously believed they couldn't do. Okay, maybe it's not exactly the same.
But, more to the point, Booth says that everyone wants what they can't have. That "Everyone wants that elusive something that's just out of reach. It's just part of human nature." I hate psychology, but I've accepted that Booth knows people and their tendencies well.
Is it possible that he was right again? And that this tendency he talks about extends to me?
Angela apparently thinks that it does. She, like Booth, seems to have a "sixth sense" about relationships and the human mind. She too can seem to see people's emotions and easily predict what they'll do.
So, according to Booth and Angela, because I can't want Booth, I do?
Every bit of sense and knowledge that I have disagrees with and rebels against that thought. It defies all the logic that I can summon and reason with. Really, though, I don't see why I disagree with their reasoning. I've seen how well Angela and Booth know people. They're the experts on the subject, so who am I to argue with their combined opinions?
If I can't disagree with it, all there is left to do is accept it.
Just because I can't want Booth doesn't mean that I don't.
The End
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