I started this fic literally years ago. Way back in 2004, in fact. And the sad fact is that, just after my divorce proceedings began, I had a major writer's block on the thing and it got dropped. It was never forgotten about, but I never had the motivation to work on it again. The plot bunnies went into hibernation and I put the story into the freezer so it wouldn't go bad.

As I was playing through Final Fantasy 10 again, thought, I realized something important. The reason that I hadn't been able to get my motivation for the story back was because I wasn't trying to write my story anymore. I was just trying to retell a story that had already been done. It wasn't my baby anymore.

So, in response to my epiphany, I decided to just scrap the last few chapters and try for some do-overs. When I went to reread it, though, and get the feel back I realized that wasn't possible. I was going to have to do a full re-write to make it all flow right. This is the result of that effort. Hopefully it lives up to the more demanding standards that I've developed over time.

And hopefully it lives up to the praise the original received.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters, settings or liscencing for Final Fantasy 10 (Final Fantasy X). i make no profit from this work of fanfiction, nor plan to in the future.

Chapter 1—Calm's Beginning (Auron)

Braska was dead. Jecht was Sin. I was Unsent.

These were the three dominating truths I had to live with as I stopped for the night at the Travel Agency at Macalania. As I was paying for my room, I heard a voice call my name—a voice welcome and comforting, as well as disheartening.

I loved my friend, but I did not want to see Wen Kinoc right now.

"Auron," he repeated as I turned. "It really is you. I thought you were dead."

I am. But I'm not going to tell you that. "You seem to have been misinformed."

"It would seem so. By Yevon, I'm glad to see you."

"By Yevon" he said, swearing by a false god and a false religion. Knowing the truth—truth that killed my best friends—made me want to be sick at his words. I turned and walked away, heading to my room, knowing he would follow me.

He did. "You look terrible, you know. What happened to your eye?"

"The pilgrimage. I don't really want to talk about it, Kinoc." That was more than a small understatement. I had already been forced to accept my own stupidity; I didn't want to face the grief I was still carrying as well.

"Fair enough, I suppose. Braska did die, after all." Jecht had never meant anything to Kinoc. To my old friend, he was just another drunk fit only for the stockades—and I hadn't thought any differently about the blitzer at first either.

"Lord Braska." The correction was instinctive, but I let his sleight against Jecht go. He would be taking payment for those sleights soon enough.

"Of course. My apologies. Talk in Bevelle is that they may not give him the title of High Summoner because of his wife. Are you going to plead his case?"

Not make him High Summoner? What are the priests in Bevelle thinking? "What the priests in Bevelle do is no longer my concern. I'm finished with the temples and their teachings."

I wasn't really, but that wouldn't come to pass for at least a decade. A very long time in Spira.

We stood there for long moments. I was unwilling to be rude and simply shut my door in his face, he was unsure of how to react to my sudden—in his mind—bitterness. Finally, he gathered the courage to ask, "Can I buy you dinner?"

"Not tonight, Kinoc. I just want to rest now." That, at least, was a fully truthful statement.

"I'll see you in the morning, then." He said this as if it was a given that I would want to see him in the morning—which I did. "Good night, Auron."

"Good night, Kinoc." I stepped inside my room and closed the door.

With a weary sigh, I leaned my sword against the wall and took off my coat. I draped the coat over the room's lone chair before falling onto the bed.

"Jecht, what you've asked may be too much for me."

I let myself drift off to sleep.

a lot changed from the origonal version. i was a little surprised when i went back and started the work. but its still the same story; i've just tightened the core up some. chapters will come quickly for a while, as i rerwite what's already been done, but it will slow down to a more normal pace when that's caught up. DON'T PANIC! (and bring a towel! ;-)

eerian