Disclaimer- I DO NOT OWN QAF!! But I wish I did!! I LOVE the show!!
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Brian Kinney. What can I say about Brian Kinney, except that he was my first fucking everything.
He was the first to make love to me.
He was the first guy I fell in love. Heck the only guy I'll ever love.
He was the first guy that broke my heart.
He was the first guy that loved me enough to help me after the bashing.
He was the first guy to believe in me, to be my best. The only one
He was the first guy to buy one of my drawings. That still makes me smile.
He was the first and only guy I could trust; no matter how many times he pushed me away. I could always count on him to be well him, the same Brian Kinney.
He was the first guy to propose to me. The only one I want to hear those four words from.
He was the only guy who wanted me to be the best homo there was. And said I achieved it.
He was the first guy to ask me to move in with him. No matter how unofficial it accurately was.
He was the first guy to always come back to me. No matter how many tricks he had. He always came back to me.
He was so many of my firsts. The only guy I ever want my firsts with. So why is it that I'm here in New York, trying to scrape a living?
It's like I'm a small fish in a big, big pond. No one notices my work. Where at home, at least Brian always acknowledged the work I did, no matter how shit; he'd tell me how it was.
That's what I love about Bri he always tells me things straight up; well he didn't about the cancer. But with most things he doesn't sugar coat them like everyone else does.
He treats me like the twenty-two year old I am. Not like everyone else who treats me like I'm still seventeen.
God I miss him so much. Right now I'm wearing one of the wedding rings I swiped before I left. I haven't been able to take it off since that day three months ago. That's the reason no guy ever approaches me, but I'm fine with that I don't think I could get with anyone else. They wouldn't come close to Brian. No one ever will.
I wonder if he's been with anyone else.
I wonder if he thinks about me.
Because I think about him every second of every day I've been here. It's hard not to, he's been such a big part of my life that I can't stand not being able to see him. Touch him. Kiss him. Make love with him. Wake up with him. Annoy him. Dance with him. Everything with him.
If he could see me now he'd probably call me a twat or a little shit head for thinking such 'ridiculous' thoughts. But they're not. They never could be, because there all about him.
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Just a little one shot I wanted to do. I'm going to do one from Brian's point of view as well; If people show enough interest!