"My whole life waiting for the right time to tell you how I feel…."
Quinn had waited years to tell Rachel how she felt. Three excruciatingly painful years to be exact. Senior year she had finally gotten the balls to confess to Rachel that she loved her beyond reason and without end. The relationship should have been idyllic, and it was for two years. By then they were living in New York together. Rachel spent her days going to class at NYADA and auditioning for Broadway shows, Quinn spent her days going to classes at NYU and then worked all night to support the two of them. She couldn't imagine Rachel having time for a job, and she didn't mind supporting her. Or at least she hadn't minded at first. The thing was, Rachel never seemed grateful. And how like her little star, to never acknowledge that people did not OWE things to her simply because she was talented. Isn't that part of what she loved about Rachel? Wasn't that part of what had drawn her in the first place? It was, but as of late Quinn began to feel overworked, underappreciated, and lonely. She never saw Rachel and when she did – they fought.
Quinn thought things would get better but it turned out she was wrong. Rachel came home early one day to find Quinn relaxing before cooking dinner.
"Did you do my laundry! I need that red dress for my audition…"
"Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry I forgot. If I put it in now, maybe it can get done in time!"
"Forget it Quinn, you never care about my needs. You just care about your own. Why are you just sitting there in the middle of the day anyway? I work so hard, and then I come home and you are just sitting. Is THIS what I have to look forward to?"
Quinn was speechless. She couldn't even respond to that kind of reckless accusation. Did Rachel not understand who paid their bills while she was off trying out for Broadway shows? It took her a moment but eventually she put a coherent thought together,
"Rachel Berry. Are you really accusing me of being lazy? I'd like to see you do all of the things I do in one day and still find time for school and auditions. You couldn't. You would be to busy taking care of me to ever take care of yourself. But I never ask that of you. For TWO FUCKING YEARS I have stood in the shadows, working myself to the bone for you. And you are such an ungrateful BITCH."
Quinn immediately regretted her choice of words, she always tried to be the calm one when they fought. The voice of reason. But she had lost it this time. Rachel looked at her with a stunned look for only a moment before turning silently and walking out the door. Quinn ran after her out into the New York street.
"Rachel, STOP. It's raining, you'll get sick. Come back in baby. I'm sorry."
"Stop? STOP? You want me to come back in there with YOU! I think not. I'm done Quinn Fabray. I'll move out tomorrow. I can't do this anymore. I ignored the fighting, and the not seeing each other because I assumed you loved me like I love you. But now I know how you really feel. Let's face it Quinn, it's over. IT's been over for a while. I'm sorry."
Quinn began to cry, her tears mingling with the raindrops on her face. She was glad it was raining so that Rachel Berry couldn't see that she was shattering into a million pieces.
"Rachel…no. You can't mean that. Please…."
"Oh but I do Quinn. I love you so much, but I can't be with your anymore. I'm sorry. I have to go."
With that, Rachel turned and walked away. Quinn collapsed against the building and slid to the ground as she cried. At least Rachel had walked away before Quinn broke down. But Quinn was truly broken now, Rachel was her reason for living, without her she was nothing.
"Stay with me…."Quinn whispered into the dark. The words she hadn't said before Rachel walked away. And now it was too late.
Song: :"We say goodbye in the pouring rain, and I break down as you walk away. Cuz all my life I felt this way, but I could never find the words to say….stay." (Stay by Hurts)