Smarter Than The Average Ed
It was a hot summers' afternoon, when Eddy popped out of his garage and ran towards Double D's house. He had a scam in mind, a unique one at that. He got to Double D's house and broke into his room. "Eddy! Have you no sense in knocking on the door first or ringing the doorbell?" Edd complained. "Oh, sure. Whatever. Hey Double D, I got an idea for a scam!" "Does it involve wrestling or any other sport?" Double D sighed. "No! Think of this: A laboratory of our old failed inventions on display! With you as the host! It'll the scam of the century. It's so cheesy I call it THE LAB OF DR. ARCHIBALD EDSTIEN!" Edd's eyes went aglow. "Really, Eddy? A lab dedicated to my slightly askew inventions?" Eddy's eyes went aglow with cash. "No, Double D. A lab dedicated to the gain of cash! Let's get Ed and get to work!"
Eddy and Double-D got Ed and had him load all of the inventions out of Double-D basement and put it in Double-D's room. "Jeez, I don't remember this stuff." Double D looked down. "Some of these I can't bear to look at their failures." Suddenly a crash came from Double-D's room. "Ed!" Double D and Eddy screamed. They opened the door and saw him strapped to their old homemade jetpack they had used for spying on Jimmy's birthday party, slamming his head into Double D's closet. "Ed, take it off! Quick!" "Ow." Ed muttered as he finally turned the pack off. He looked inside the closet and pulled out a pickle connected to a clock. "Pickle! Yum, yum, yum!!" Ed cried as he tore into the pickle. "Ed, no!" screamed Edd. Suddenly Ed was shocked with electricity. Inside Ed's mind his intelligence factor section of his brain began to outshadow all the other junk in Ed's head. Double D, fearing for Ed's life, pulled the plug on the pickle connected to the clock. Ed fainted. Eddy began to pace saying, "Great. There goes our loader." "Eddy, we have to make sure Ed's okay. This accident might have caused serious brain damage for him." Suddenly Ed came to. "Ed's brain hurt." Ed whispered. "You're lucky to have survived, Ed. You could have been severely injured." Double D replied. "All right, Florence Nightingale, let's get moving." Eddy shouted. "Ed, you lie down. No telling what that electrical discharge could've done." They went down to take some more scientific experiments. When Double D and Eddy came back to Double-D's room, Ed had gotten up and was studying all of Double D's inventions, fixing here, adding there. "Ed, what're doing up?" Double D screamed. "Edward, Edward, Edward. Do not get your nightcap in a tizzy. I am merely perfecting your failed inventions." "My failed – Ed, what's going on?" "According to my calculations, the electrical shock from the pickle seems to enlarged my intelligence factor inside my brain." "Hey, Double-D, pick up the pace! You too, Lumpy! I don't give coffee—". Eddy stopped when he saw that Ed had rearranged Edd's room. "What's with him?" "He says that the bite from the electric-induced pickle has made him smarter. I don't like this, Eddy. He scares me." Eddy smiled a greedy smile. "Then we'll let him take over the role of DR. ARCHIBALD EDSTIEN! He's going to be the sensation of the cul-de-sac! I'll be rich I tell you! Rich!" "Actually, Edward Skipper the what-his-name, the odds of becoming phenomenally 'loaded', to borrow the colloquialism, are 45,006,918.9 to 3." "Yeah, right Mr. Egghead-I-know-everything."
Later, the Eds had officially opened THE LAB OF DR. ARCHIBALD EDSTEIN with Ed as Dr. Archibald Edstein. All of the kids came. Rolf said, "Ah, yes. A chicken factory from the old country is it not?" Double D said, "Of course not Rolf." "Yes, my dear friend from another country, this is not a chicken farm this is a science lab featuring several inventions." He began to show a perplexed Rolf several inventions "The Booster Shoes, which give the wearer an enhanced height. Or the Hypnotic Twirl Hat which make others your slave. And…" Rolf cut him off. "You bamboozle the son of a shepherd with all this doo-hickey tomfoolery!" Rolf ran in a bewildered frenzy. "Poor misguided Rolf." Ed said. Double D watched in envy. Eddy was busy counting his quarters. "Getting to ya isn't he, huh, Double D?" He stuttered a response. "That's preposterous! After all, Ed is still a simpleton somewhere in that show-off head of his!" Jonny 2x4 was looking at the contraptions with his trusty wood friend Plank. "Gee whiz, Plank, this looks like the stuff out of a space movie!" Then behind him, Jonny heard deep breathing. He slowly turned and saw a monster mask staring back at him. Jonny shrieked in terror. Ed assured Jonny, "Do not fear, Jonny, for that is only a…movie monster mask?" Instantly Ed's brain was bombarded with images of various horror films and B-grade movies he use to like. Ed struggled but shook himself back to reality. Still terrified of the monster mask, Jonny ran as fast as he could out of Edd's room. "Hey get that monster mask out of the room! You're scaring my customers away!" Eddy shouted. "No, no. Horror films are just another way to rot children's minds." Ed reminded himself. Meanwhile, Double D was watching Ed.