Leaving

Written for Herbology Assignment 1 at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments) and Shipping Wars.

Task: Write about a character who is extremely possessive towards another character. You must also write about the possessed character escaping the relationship, or being released freely.

Prompt: Grimmauld Place.

AN: Some of Sirius Black's dialogue is misspelt, this is my attempt to convey how drunk Sirius is in this scene.

Warning: Dark!Sirius

"It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world."
― John Green, Paper Towns

.oOo.

It was a pleasant Autumn day, and two Muggles strolled down Grimmauld Place. As usual, they stopped by houses eleven and thirteen; the one on the left scratched his head. "I still wonder why there's no number twelve, Jim."

"It's obvious, isn't it? Whoever made that mistake was as thick as two short planks."

"But still, I …"

"Come on, Ed. I'm dying to get to that beer garden and have a pint."

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!"

The two passed by, blissfully unaware of the mystery number twelve Grimmauld Place—hidden from sight by a Fidelius Charm. Unfortunately, the once beautiful house was now run down; the current owner, Sirius Black, had no love for the place and was in no hurry to fix it up. Even with the help of the Weasleys, the house was not up to its old standards—although at least it was now habitable.

The Order of the Phoenix currently used the house as headquarters. Most of the Aurors were at the Ministry, so the house was mainly quiet apart from the sounds of Molly Weasley bustling about in the kitchen. A shout from a bedroom on the upper floor pierced the silence abruptly. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Sirius! You know that Tonks is just a friend of mine!"

Sirius fixed his grey eyes on Remus and scowled. "A friend? Don't make me laugh! She has feelings for you."

Remus rolled his eyes and took a step towards his lover; he reached out his hand, but Sirius stepped back. Doing his best to hide his pain from the rejection, Remus broke the stifling silence. "Well, even if she does have feelings for me, I feel nothing for her."

"I don't believe you."

"Sirius …"

"No, Remus, if you want to go out tonight, then that's fine, but don't expect me to be here when you get back."

"Why are you like this? Perhaps instead of making threats, you could come with us and have a good time for once."

Sirius snorted. "And perhaps you could start using your brain again. How do you expect me to socialise while in Animagus form?"

"We could go to a Muggle place where no one will recognise you."

"No. I'm staying right here, and if you go out with her, we're through."

Remus stared at him, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Then I guess I'd better cancel," he answered with a small smile. His lover visibly relaxed and walked over to him; they shared a tender kiss, and Sirius ran his fingers over Remus's cheek.

"It's for the best."

"Is it? Sometimes it feels like a way for you to control me."

"You know better than that. I love you."

"I love you too."

.oOo.

Hours later, they were wrapped up in each other's arms and exchanging kisses. The argument, while not forgotten, had been put to one side for now. Twelve Grimmauld Place was once again bursting with life since the return of the Aurors; laughter and loud conversation could be heard, which signalled to Remus and Sirius that dinner was served. Neither of them was particularly hungry.

"So what are we going to do tonight?" Remus asked Sirius, running a finger along his chest.

"You, me and a bottle of firewhisky. How does that sound?"

Remus sighed. "The same as every other night. I don't know if I'm in the mood."

"Don't be dull, Moony. I'll go and fetch us some glasses."

A few minutes later, Sirius returned to find Remus fully dressed and buttoning up his jacket. "What are you doing?"

Remus turned to face him. "I'm going to the Muggle pub down the road. Are you coming?"

Grey eyes stared at him in shock. "What? But you said that …"

"Well, I changed my mind. If you decide to join me, I'll be in the Red Lion."

"Remus, please …"

"No. I'm going, and I hope you'll come to join me. Bye, Sirius."

He walked out the door without a backwards glance, leaving Sirius staring in disbelief and struggling to catch his breath. This was the first time that Remus had defied him, and he wanted to make sure that it would be the last. There was one thing Sirius was confident of; he wouldn't be joining Remus in the Red Lion. With a smirk, he reached for the bottle of firewhisky, not bothering with a glass.

.oOo.

Remus smiled and said goodbye to Tonks, Bill and Fleur. His hopes of Sirius joining him had disappeared with his last pint. Now it was time for him to face the music. As he walked home, Remus couldn't stop his thoughts from straying back to the confident, carefree boy he'd known and loved at Hogwarts; oh, how he missed that boy. Instantly feeling disloyal, Remus shook that thought out of his head. After all, nobody could spend twelve years in Azkaban and come out unscathed.

Finally arriving at number twelve, he crept up the stairs. When he was outside the door, it soon became clear that Sirius was still awake. With a sigh, Remus opened the door and braced himself for what was to come.

"Believe that magic works

Don't be afraid

Of being hurt

Don't let this magic die

The answer's there

Oh, just …"

"Sirius."

The dark-haired man dropped the almost empty bottle and turned to stare at him. "Ah, the wanderer returns," he said before hiccupping. It hurt Remus to see the man he loved in this state, but he wouldn't leave. He stepped further into the room and held out his hand.

"Let me help you up."

"I can get up without your help!" Sirius snapped.

Remus ignored him, although the harsh words stung. "Come on; you're drunk." Eventually, he managed to pull Sirius to his feet, much to the annoyance of Sirius.

"I didn't need your help! Why did you come back anyway? Weren't you having a good time on your date with Nymphadora?"

Rubbing his forehead wearily, Remus answered honestly. "You know she hates being called that; her name is Tonks. We were with Bill and Fleur, so it was hardly a date."

Sirius snarled. "I'm shorry, that must've been devastating for you. After all, you'd hardly leave me behind just for that."

"I wanted you to come with me!"

"And I wanted you to shhtay at home with me!"

"It's not all about what you want, Sirius," Remus muttered, his anger dissolving as quickly as it had flared up. Unfortunately for him, his companion was warming up.

"I bet that was your game, wasn't it?" he asked, swaying lightly on the feet and grabbing on to the bedpost. "Pretend you want me to go out with you, knowing all too well that I wouldn't want to."

"Why the hell would I want to do that?"

"Shho you could find out if Nymphadora lives up to her name!"

"What? A mythological spirit?"

"No, a nymphomaniac!"

Thoughts of Tonks acting in such a way filled his head, and he couldn't hold back a laugh. He clutched his sides and cried with mirth. "Tonks? A nymphomaniac? You have lost it."

Before he could regain his composure, Sirius strode forward and shoved him into the wardrobe behind them. He grabbed the collar of Remus's shirt and snarled in his face. "Don't. Ever. Laugh. At. Me. Again."

The two men stared at one another for what felt like a lifetime; one had an expression of fear, and the other went from anger to horror and despair. He stepped back quickly and removed his hands as if they'd been scalded. Sirius was the first to break the silence. "Remus, I'm …"

"Don't touch me!"

Without warning, Sirius crumpled to the ground as tears fell down his cheeks. Remus walked over to the door and reached out to touch the handle, hesitating when he heard a small "Please." His head told him to leave, but his heart commanded him to stay; his heart won the battle. Sighing, he walked over to the broken man in front of him and knelt beside him.

"Come on, let's get you into bed."

They managed to stumble over to the bed with surprising ease. Sirius rested his head on the pillow, pleading silently with his lover. "I'm shhorry, please don't leave me."

"Go to sleep, Sirius."

"Tell me you'll never leave me."

"I'll never leave you," Remus lied, still unsure about what his next move should be. Sirius seemed content with this, and it didn't take long for his eyes to close. His light snores proved that he'd finally lost his battle with sleep. Unwilling to get in the bed beside him, Remus walked out of the room.

.oOo.

You must leave.

He promised that things would get better.

And then he hit you. How long are you going to stick around for?

I'll wait for the day that he makes good on his promise.

What if he never does?

He will.

He pushed his dark thoughts out of his head; they were making more and more sense to him, and that thought scared him. How could he leave Sirius?

How can you stay when you know what he's capable of?

The voice was getting louder every time he heard it, and deep down, he knew it was right. It was time to leave before Sirius's possessive nature destroyed them both. His eyes lingered on the man sleeping on the bed; as usual, he was clutching a nearly empty bottle of firewhisky. The eyes that had once held so much life are now sunken from lack of nutrition and sleep; in fact, the only time he seemed to rest was when he passed out from all the alcohol. On nights when he didn't drink, Remus would wake to see a pair of grey eyes boring into him.

The humorous, full of life boy that Remus had known at Hogwarts was fading quickly, taking away the love Remus had for him with every snarl, and sometimes even a hit. He thought Sirius could be fixed with love and devotion; he was wrong.

Sirius stirred in his sleep, causing Remus to flinch in panic. That told him everything he needed to know. It was time for him to pack his bags and leave. "Goodbye, Sirius," he whispered, "I wish it didn't have to end this way, but I have no choice. You're destroying everything I ever loved about you, and I can't watch you circle the drain."

With a suppressed sob, he gathered up his belongings. Unable to resist, he placed a gentle kiss on the man's forehead. "I will always love you, Sirius."

Before he could change his mind, he walked out of the door without a backwards glance.