RAGE

The rolling heat, the cold, the indifference, these things are elements of rage. All of us at least some point in our lives have experienced rage. I don't mean normal everyday road rage; I mean the all out ready to kill a motherfucker at the drop of a hat, even if you gotta be the one to drop it, kinda rage.

This life is not for the faint hearted, nor is it for the timid. The things you do, the things you see, hear and smell, can never show on your face. Only your actions can transmit your emotions.

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, you only have one person to answer to, only just your-self. If you know deep down you did all you could then you can sleep.

But there are times when it just all goes to fuckin hell, falls apart so fast there is no chance in hell to change the course of the total fuckin cluster fuck that's unfolding right in front of your eyes. Those days are the ones that haunt you, that keep you up at the bar, growling and glaring at anyone who fuckin dares to invade your personal space. No matter who it is, they just know, just feel the waves of that rage, and they keep their fucking distance.

This has been a day of rage, well more like 36 fuckin hours of rage, just one long mother fucking, unending god dam drawn out day…I still wore the bloody clothes, I had promised myself that until this shit was fixed, I would keep them on.

All I could think of, was she was gonna fucking kill me, and I couldn't blame her. I just had to get this situation back in line and not running wild, like a toddler with a flame thrower all over town. She did not need to hear shit about this before I could see her, try and explain this totally fucked up mess.

All I had started out to do, all I wanted to do was fucking have the little remodeling job done, before she got back. Nothing drastic, or so I thought at the time, she was going to be gone for nine days. More than enough time to put her dream kitchen in and have it all working just like she wanted, for her birthday surprise and that right there is where I fucked up, my first mistake, surprise! It's a Chinese fucking fire drill.

I got help from the prospects, and some of the guys who said, I repeat said they knew how to do the electrical, the plumbing, counter tops, you get where this is fucking going…down the fucking drain.

I admit I trusted my brothers to be able to do what they said they could. I had never had a reason to question any of their abilities before, so why would I start now…and that was my second mistake.

Bobby, he may know his way around the stove, when it's all hooked up and ready to use, but can he set up a gas stove, like he said he could, nope.

Tig, he might know his way around a bar, but does he have the vaguest concept about plumbing, like he said he did, nope.

Jax maybe the club pretty boy, but dose he know shit about putting in quartz counter tops, like he said he did, nope.

Chibs, he just may be one of the coolest fuckers I ever had at my side, but he like every other mother lovin son of a bitch, don't know shit about shit!

And was their collective ass on the line here? No, just mine. I know these guys, they would be ready to face a wall of bullets and never flinch.

But have one tiny little, five foot nothing old lady come apart and go into her own brand of pissed off hell bitch and these so called brothers of mine would evaporate like water poured on pavement in the hot Cali sun in August.

So that's where shit sits at the moment, I got the prospects out to let me know when she is close, cause I sure as hell don't want her to head home with out me knowin so I can beat her there.

Shit, there's the first text, she is ten miles out…time to head into the hell of an ass whoopin I know I am gonna get.

I look around at my brothers and announce, "Death is ten out, and I'm hittin the road." I give a hard look at all the faces I can see, give em a bit of the stink eye, a challenge to man the fuck up and turn on my heel and head out to my bike.

The feel of the bike under me and the wind in my face makes me forget for just a moment how ugly this could turn out, I take a deep breath and pull into our road, then the driveway.

Well as far as I can go anyways, now.

I park the bike and hook one leg over it and just look at nothing. Well not actually nothing, but a big fucking black hole in the ground, where our house used to be. That is before I got the idea for the birthday surprise.

I hear her car pull up and slowly stop. The engine continues to run, not a good sign. She shuts it down, it is so very quiet I can hear her seat belt retract and all I can do is to wait for the door to open and life as I know it to come to an ugly screamin end… FML!

Her door opens, and I hear her small footsteps heading over to me. I feel her little hand slide up the back of my T-shirt, under my cut, I feel her sweet breath at my ear, I tense up waiting for her to scream.

The love of my life whispers, "So Hap, did you actually think that blowing up my house would not make the news?"

All I could do was to wait and brace for the storm, "No doll, I never gave it much thought" I told her, I'd been kinda busy.

"Well, it could have been worse, nobody died did they?" she asked. "No, everyone is pretty much whole", I told her. I had yet to look at her face afraid of what I would see.

She walked away, all I could think of, was this was it, she was done, and she was gonna be gone.

I heard the sound of her keys, then her trunk opened, I still just sat there. I really didn't want to see her leave. But no, wait she was coming back!

Prolly with the tire iron from the trunk, not that I didn't deserve it, I'd take my licks like a man and let her get it out of her system.

She popped out the little stool she kept in the trunk and plopped down on it and handed me a cold beer, and pulled one for herself out of the six pack she had

set at her feet. She elbowed me and got me to turn my head with her little hand on my chin. No way could I resist her eyes and she knew it, bitch reads me like one of her fuckin books…

I gave up and looked at her, there was a mean glint in her eyes, and she stares at me for what seemed like fuckin forever and said, "So just what gave you the bright fucking idea to blow up my house?"

All I could do was shrug, and start to try to figure out how to explain how this all went to shit. Just as I started to open my mouth, I could hear the roar of Harley's. I turned and they were all there, all ready to try and fix this, this total fucking, fucked up mess.

One by one, the boys came up and said they were sorry and they would fix it. To see grown ass men afraid of this tiny woman was beginning to be more than I could take.

I did my level best to contain my shit, but fuck me, I lost it. I gave up and put my elbows on my knees to try to not let my break down slip out, but no way could I contain it…

My whole body was shaking, I knew they could all see it and would mistake it for more of the rage I had let loose before.

Then she blew it, I looked over at her through my fingers and could see she was getting to the same point I was. She giggled, and that was all it took, I fuckin lost it.

My laugh is something that's these guys don't hear much, it's more of a roar than a laugh. But my girl, she got it, she put her forehead on my arm and snorted, that was all it took for the all the of them rest to have a much need laugh to break the tension.

This went on for a bit, and she finally stood up put her hands on her hips and looked each one of us in the eye and said. "You bunch of dumb motherfuckers, did any of you ever stop to think there might have been a good reason I had not moved in here yet? As she looked from son to son.

"That there might be a little problem with the house?, no I didn't think so; yes I bought the place to fix up soon, but didn't find out about the leak in the gas main until just before I left. It's a wonder you dumb asses didn't blow yourselves up!"

We all just looked at each other and I know the same things passed through each of our minds, the power tools throwing off sparks, the smoking, shit it could have went up at any time we were out here!

So that's what those little red flag thingy's were for, marching off in a line across the yard that ran right to the through the house and continued on out into the back yard.

I felt a warm form lean on my leg; shit her dog is fucking alive!

Then what the hell did we scrape off the garage and bury out back, more to the point, what the fucks blood n shit was all over me?

Bobby must of had the same idea as I did at the very same moment, her dog was a brindle boxer mix, and his color was the same as the deer around here.

Shit that's what must have happened; we blew up a fucking deer.

The love of my life looked at me and asked, "Why are you covered in deer hair and blood, I thought you said no one got hurt?" All I could do was to hang my head and keep on laughing; at this point it just didn't fucking matter.

Jax came up and said the club would make it right and be out in force on Monday to get the re-build started.

She just looked at him and said, "The insurance will pay to replace the house, and if I see or hear of a single one of you guys out here I will shoot you in the ass!"

There was nothing but compliance in the voice of every son present, "No worries, doll, we will keep the fuck away!"