They'd said far too much this time, Connor mused: too many hurtful things. Abby'd been right, but he'd been too angry to realise it. They'd had a huge fight that morning about Caroline, about whether or not she should be allowed in the flat. Connor had said that Abby was being selfish and unreasonable and that she shouldn't expect him to never have friends over, especially since he did pay rent. Abby argued that she hadn't banned all his friends, she just didn't like Caroline and it wasn't fair of Connor to put her in a situation where she felt upset and uncomfortable in her own home. They'd said so many hurtful and nasty things that Connor had even threatened to pack his things and move out and Abby had said she didn't mind if he did. Connor had stormed out after that, needing to get away from the air that was far too thick with anger and tension.
Once outside it didn't take Connor long to realise that he had been the selfish one, that even if she was being unreasonable she had a pretty strong argument and, to be honest, he hated the thought of Abby being uncomfortable at home; it wasn't right. To be even more honest, he didn't even like Caroline as much as he liked – loved – Abby. He questioned himself thoroughly as to why he was dating her in the first place and realised that it'd been to prove a point, both to Abby and himself, that he could be proper dating material. At this point, he felt he'd accomplished that as much as he ever would. His relationship with Caroline wasn't going anywhere, wasn't advancing in any way, shape, or form and he really didn't want it to. It was Abby he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and making her angry, upset, and uncomfortable probably wasn't going to help him there. He sent Caroline a text message telling her he was breaking up with her and headed back to the flat to see if he could still fix things with Abby because, you never know, it might not be too late.
Abby wasn't home when he got there. He supposed she'd probably needed to get out the same as he had. Usually she always told him when she was leaving through and he hadn't had any texts come in, so he couldn't help feeling a tiny bit worried. He checked around for a note from her and found one taped to the telly: a really long one at that. He knew as soon as he started reading it that he'd made the right choice in leaving Caroline. Abby's words to him were angry, so angry, but there was something else there too. She'd opened up to him in this note in a way she'd never done before, she'd let her walls come down just a little wee bit as she tried to tell him how upset she was. He re-read it.
Connor,
I just want you to know that you are being really, really unfair to me. Why should I have to choose between having you around but being miserable because of her, and losing you altogether? Why can't you just agree to see her elsewhere instead? You're supposed to be my friend and you're not being a very good one when you disrespect me like this! Really though, maybe it wouldn't be any better, would it? Because you'll always be out seeing her and not at home and then I'll just be alone. Maybe we aren't even friends, because if we were you'd have noticed that you're all I've got. Do you not get even that? You're supposed to be brilliant after all. If you and I are apart then you're okay; you've got Caroline and Duncan. I've got nobody. If you are my friend you'd see that and elave her because friends don't let friends suffer alone. And yes, I know that I can't compare with her because she's willing to date you and I'm not, but you know what, Connor? That shouldn't matter. It's not my fault if all my romantic relationships have gone bad and you should be thankful I care enough about our relationship not to risk it like that, but instead you just abandon me. And maybe you're right, Connor, maybe I am being completely selfish and unreasonable, but what did I do so bad that I don't deserve any friends at all? Don't I deserve one? Maybe not, seeing as how I'm acting, but I DID let you stay here when you needed a place so don't you owe me something? I dunno anymore. If I demanded you break up with her, would you do that for me? Or am I just making everything worse? Anyway, I can't fight with you anymore. I'm done and you can do what you want after all.
Your friend, (I hope) Abby
Connor sighed as he put down the piece of paper and picked up the phone to call her. She answered almost immediately.
"Hi Connor."
Connor couldn't make anything out from the tone of her voice, but she was talking to him and that was really good. "Can you come home Abs?" he asked her.
"Is she there?"
"No."
"Okay."
She hung up without saying goodbye and Connor shut his eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply with relief. He felt very much the same way now as he'd done many times after a very close call with a creature. She wasn't there yet, but she'd be willing to talk now and with Caroline out of the picture, he felt he could actually fix things this time. He put the kettle on and made some tea while he waited for her, his thoughts running wildly and crazily and making no sense even to him.
It was ten minutes later that Abby stepped through the door and silently entered the kitchen. She didn't say anything, just watched him, studying him as if trying to gauge whether or not he was angry still. She looked lost, Connor decided: lost, unsure, confused and very much unlike the Abby he normally saw. It was as though some part of her, the strong, stubborn part, had just dissipated into the ink on the letter she'd written.
"Abs," he sighed, gesturing for her to come closer. When she did, he pulled her against his side. He felt her sigh too and after a few moments he released her, taking her hand instead and leading her to the living room so that they could sit down. Abby immediately cuddled into his side, and that wasn't like her either.
Connor looked down at the top of her head and felt an overwhelming wave of love sweep over him. He wanted to kiss her fears away, but she'd just written to him that she didn't want to pursue a relationship with him, and he figured that probably meant no kissing. He was willing to accept her wishes, for now, because now he understood it wasn't that she didn't love him, but that she did that kept her so guarded. A sudden strangled sob escaped Abby and he lost a bit of his resolve, compromising with a peck to her hair. "Abby," he chocked out, finding his voice finally. "You are never going to lose me. At least, not like this because we do have a rather dangerous job and all, but not because of some dumb fight, yeah? I'd never abandon you!"
"A lot of the time it feels like you have," she replied, but her tone was matter-of-fact and a bit sad, not accusing.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I never meant for you to feel that way." Connor wrapped his arms tighter around her, completely enclosing her inside them. "I'm all yours, Abby," he promised her. "Always have been, haven't I?"
"And Caroline's," she said bitterly and Connor suddenly realised that he'd plum forgotten to tell her about that.
"Only Caroline's gone now," he responded. "I told her it was over even before I read your note. She was getting in the way too much and making me and you fight. Didn't want her if I was gonna lose you."
Abby had turned in his arms, making his grip loosen again as she stared at him in surprise. "You dumped her for me?"
" 'Course I did, Abby. No more girlfriends for me: I promise."
Abby hesitated and then a soft smile spread over her face and she looked far more like normal Abby, his Abby, again. "Well now," she spoke up, "that wouldn't at all be fair, would it? Maybe, maybe one day in a long, long, time…"
Connor started to protest, shaking his head vehemently, but Abby put a finger to his lips to silence him. "Let me finish, Con. Maybe one day you'll want a girlfriend again and maybe one day that'd be okay, just so long as next time that girlfriend is me, okay?"
Connor's eyes widened and it was his turn to be surprised, not that it could ever come to that, but that Abby knew it too. "Okay, he promised her eagerly, "but you gotta let me know when you're ready for that then, Abs."
"I will," Abby promised. "I will."
