A/N: Hi people! So...I know a lot of people do Wicked parodies. I know. I've read a lot of them. So I though I might try my hand at writing one. Please don't kill me! *hides behind Elphaba* I owe most of my inspiration to Elle Leigh Woods. I read her fic Wicked: the parody & I nearly died laughing! You all should read it. Anyway...without further adieu...Let the parody begin!
Disclaimer: NO! I do not own Wicked! waaaaah! :(
Ozians: GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!
Random Wicked fan: NO! ELPHABA ISN'T DEAD! SHE JUST-
*Random Wicked fan is thrown out into the Lobby*
Ozians: Um…OH YEAH!
THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!
THE WICKED-EST WITCH THERE EVER WAS!
THE ENEMY OF ALL OF US HERE IN OZ IS DEAD!
GOOD NEWS!
Random guy Ozian: HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!
Ozian #1: Where?
Random guy Ozian: THERE!
Crazy Ozian: IT'S A UFO!
All Ozians: AHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Ozian #1: OH, I SEE IT! Wait…what am I looking at?
*Ozian #2 hits Ozian #1 over the head with an umbrella*
Ozian #2: BRAINLESS! It's Glinda! DUH!
Fiyero: *walks onstage* Somebody call me?
Director: Fiyero! Get off the stage! You're not on yet!
Fiyero: I'm not? Darn….*walks offstage sulking*
Director: *picks up random megaphone* OKAY! GET ON WITH IT!
Ozian #1: Um…what was I saying again?
*Director facepalms*
Glinda: Uh, HELLO? SOMEBODY FORGET THAT I'M STILL UP HERE?
Ozian #1: Oh YEAH! LOOK! IT'S GLINDA!
Ozian #2 *hits Ozian #1 with an umbrella again* No duh, STUPID!
Ozian #1: OW!
Glinda: It's good to see me, isn't it?
Glinda fans: YES!
Glinda: No need to respond, that was…um, LINE?!
*Director hits herself with her clipboard*
Boq: *sneaks onstage* Rhetorical! Your line is: No need to respond, that was RHETORICAL!
Glinda: AW! Thanks Biq!
Boq: IT'S BOQ! *stomps offstage*
Glinda: Umm…Anyway! FELLOW OZIANS!
Ozians: YES?
Glinda: LET US BE GLAD! LET US BE GREATFUL!
LET US REJOICIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD SUBDUE
THE WICKED WORKINGS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO!
Dumb Ozian: VOLDEMORT?!
Harry Potter: *runs onstage* WHO SAID HIS NAME? I HAVE A WAND AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!
Glinda: *twirls her wand like she does in act 2* SO DO I!
*Ozian #2: *hits Harry Potter with her umbrella*
Harry Potter: *falls into the Orchestra pit* OW!
Glinda: *stomps foot angrily* AW, COME ON! I DIDN'T GET TO FINISH MY SONG!
Director: THEN GET ON WITH IT!
Glinda: *smiles* Okay!
ISN'T IT NICE TO KNOW
THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?
THAT TRUTH WE ALL BELIEVE'LL BY AND BY
OUTLIVE A LIE
FOR YOU AND-
Random Ozian: NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
Ozian #2: *Waves umbrella around menacingly* NO ONE CRIES THEY WON'T RETURN!
*Awkward silence*
Ozian #3: DANG! I MISSED MY CUE! *Runs offstage crying and falls into the orchestra pit*
#1 Wicked fan: *gets up onstage* OOH! This is my big chance! *squeals and sings WAY off-key*
NO ONE LIES A LILY ON THEIR GRAVE!
Ozians & Glinda: Ummm…
Ozian #1: *looks around confused* Uh….A good man scorns the Wicked? I-Is that right? *looks up at Glinda*
Glinda: *is admiring her reflection* Wha? Oh, um….Yeah, I think so…. *yells at the Director* HEY! IS THAT RIGHT?
Director: *sinks down in her seat*
Glinda: *shrugs* Oh well. *looks down at Ozians* Now what?
Ozian #4: I wanna go to Friendly's! *orchestra plays along to Friendly's jingle*
Glinda: Where ice cream makes the meal!
*Glinda's bubble pops and she face-plants onto the stage*
*Ozians gasp*
Glinda: Ow. *Looks at her hand and screams*
Random paramedic: *runs onstage* What's wrong, miss? Do you need medical attention?
Glinda: I BROKE A NAIL! *cries*
*paramedic rolls his eyes and walks back offstage*
Glinda: *gets up and brushes herself off* Well, that was fun. Now, what were we doing again?
Random person in the audience: GLINDA! IS IT TRUE YOU WERE HER FRIEND?
Glinda: Oh, Shiz...
On to chapter two!