Disclaimer: I do not own Horatio Hornblower. I know nothing about Pellow's family.

Because I Loved You More

He hadn't asked for either of his sons or any of his four daughters. Robert and Richard Pellow had sat with their wives Augusta and Louisa in the hallway outside their father's room. Their sisters Ruth, Anne, Charlotte and May sat in the sitting room closest the stairs with their children hushed to quietness. The 'children' ranged from sixteen year old Thomas to three year old Samantha none of whom held a great affection to their grandfather who was exacting and unused to the company of children even those of his own blood.

Edward Pellow was dying. Old age and a determined but difficult life at sea until not even the Admiralty dared allow him remain on the sea. His wife had died some years ago while he had been in the West Indies as part of a diplomatic conveys and in any case it had not been a particularly happy marriage. Margaret had been a less than ideal naval wife and it had rankled her that her husband after twenty years was as much as an enigma as he had been as a newlywed. Always desperate to be at sea, to be of worth and not near their family. It would have been less than fair than to admit that Edward found his children increasingly less commendable every time he returned from sea. Robert had ignored all the schooling his father had paid for and instead drank and gambled until he was forced to ask for money. The one occasion he asked his father directly he had been sent from the room for his father could barely look at him. Richard was little better always wanting more but not as a result of his work but of others. The girls had never particularly interested him in comparison to his sons but when May had married a former officer of Napoleon it broke his affection for her entirely and had he been in any real state, Louis would not have been in the house.

Now they had been called to the house by the doctor who said that the great Edward Pellow was on the very verge of death and it was only a matter of time surely before he asked for them. So they returned to their childhood home where they had rarely seen his father even when he had been in port. Except that their father had not called on them although he had certainly sent for someone.

As the household murmured and whispered Edward Pellow lay in his bed and swore at the silence. He missed the constant noise of a ship and was once again reminded of how much he hated this house. This prim and proper and oh so respectable house with its luxuries was a far cry from where had been happiness out on the sea. The creaks of the timber, the men and their expectations and the smell. How he missed the salty wind of the sea. It didn't reach this far inland. He missed it but if the Almighty had any sort of mercy he would smell it again soon for if that scent where not in heaven he wasn't sure if he wanted to go. Still the good doctor had at least sent his message to Portsmouth but if the man asked one more time if he wanted to see his children he would shoot him. His children were his greatest disappointment. Not the three older girls, they were sweet enough if a little too interested in their monetary position to suit his liking but then that was the way of the world. May on the other hand had greatly disappointed him and as quickly as he thought of her he banished the thought. She was married to a Frenchmen and her children had French names despite all he had fought for. The boys, well, one was a gambler and the other simply wanted his will read. He wouldn't want to waste his dying breathes on them.

Outside he heard a carriage rush up the driveway. A rough voice, a great deal older than the last time he had heard it, snapped at the footmen. Two pairs of feet made their way into the house and up the stairs.

It had been May that had seen the carriage first and seen the tall and rather gnarled man jump out and snap at those who came forward to help the passengers.

"We don't need no mollycoddling."

May, Louis and Charlotte looked out the window to see a rather rough looking man in rather poor clothes standing on the driveway. The clothes were clean and appeared to have been hastily pressed. It was a naval uniform but not an officer's one. It had certainly not been new in decades. A second man, this one an officer, stepped out of the carriage. He was thin with hollow cheeks and large dark eyes that seemed to observe and analyse everything at once. Perhaps the same age as Richard he was without their brother's paunch. Signalling to the other man they made their way into the house and up the stairs although both men's eyes darkened at the sight of Louis in his French uniform.

Up the stairs it was Richard who seen the two men first. His eyes widened then darkened as he haruffed towards Robert. The two men coming up the stairs glanced at each other as they looked at the two brothers. Fortunately the doctor ushered the two newcomers into the room. Robert glared through the door.

"Who the blaze was that?"

Three hours later, Edward Pellow was announced dead. His sons had left the hall and joined their sisters and wives downstairs. The two strangers had not left the room. As both brothers went to the stairs they heard pair of footsteps comes towards them. It belonged to the rougher looking man.

"Who are you to take from us our father's last minutes?" demanded May from the sitting room. Louis stood next to her. Her sisters shook their skirts and joined in their demands of this stranger. He seemed rather unnerved at their presence but the sight of Louis had also strengthened his resolve for they could see the fires ignited in his eyes.

"Styles ma'am. I served with your father."

"The other man?"

"Captain Horatio Hornblower."

And with that t all made sense.

Horatio Hornblower's name had plagued their family for the best part of a decade and had been brought up again by the marriage of Louis and May. The perfect seaman and the much respected commander adored by their father had their usurper but that their father had not grown to adore Hornblower until he felt so disappointed by his sons.

The midshipman who had garnered the respect of his captain in his first months at sea together and the love of his captain when he had steered that fire ship. He had even gone to the boy's wedding although he not thought it to be the boy's best decision. At least Maria Hornblower had proven to be a loyal and somewhat understanding naval wife unlike his own. In time Pellow had even thought that it was an ideal match and that little Archie Hornblower would make a fine officer. As he had loved Horatio as a son he had called him to his deathbed. Asked him to remember him, to love him and remember that as far as Edward Pellow was concerned Horatio had been his son.

Styles represented all they had shared and the empty chair left to remember Matthews was a solemn reminder. When their much respected hero died Styles had seen the tears on 'Horny's' face and retreated to leave his friend and idol in peace to go over the great man's final words.

"I wanted you Horatio because I loved you more."