A/N: I had to write this, I'm sorry I just had to. It may depress a few of you but it's something I just had to let out.

Disclaimer: IDOSWAC

Tawni's POV

I threw the bouqet of flowers towards the trash can, they missed by a long shot and crashed to the ground. I got up, slamming the chair backwards as I did so, and walked over to the violet flowers. I picked them up and tossed them roughly into the trash can, my tears fell in with the flowers. I was done with it all, I was done with trying.

I slumped back into my chair and ripped my notebook off the tabel, grabbing the crappiest pen I could find.

Dear Diary

They say there's someone for everyone, but how can that be true.

Some people spend their whole life alone.

Others marry and remarry so much that...happiness is a myth.

I've fallen - hard - for a guy so many times,

And never once have they fallen harder for me.

I know they say love is hiding behind every corner,

Am I walking in circles?

I know they say that girls are like apples and we have to wait for the one boy who is willing to brave the climb,

But is any boy going to be willing to do that for me?

All I think about is him, how much I love him and how hard I fell. But with that thought, also comes the thought of how much he loves her.

I get a strange tingly feeling when he touches me. What I can't take is the dares.

His friends dare him to hug me or put his arm around or even hold my hand, and he usually does try to. As much as I want to let him, I know I can't.

The countless days of teasing, not to mention that he'd give me a hard time.

Sometimes it seems like he wants to hold me in his arm, like he wanted to hug me, regardless of the fact that it was a dare.

But he always reminds me that he likes her. He always reminds me how beautiful her hair is, and how wonderfully her smile shines.

Aside from the dares, he has another thing. The sentence, "I love you."

He has said that to me so many times, and asked me out so many times, but I have to say no. I want to say yes, but I don't know if he's joking.

He acts like he is, but he says it so much I almost said yes once.

I can't stand being around him, I've almost yelled "I LOVE YOU" to him. The only way I can handle this is to avoid him and ignore him for his last two days at Condor Studios.

We can talk on facebook, but I can't see him in person anymore, it's too painfull.

~Tawni

"Tawni?" Devon says as he walks into my room.

I stand up and push past him, not turning back.

Hey guys, time to explain this passage.

Basically it was a big journal entry of an event that happened to me recently (Minus the flower part, I never recieved flowers)

The first part of the journal entry is some-what of a poem, something to describe how I feel, and the rest is my relationship with the specific person.

Don't say you feel sorry for me, because after I wrote this and looked back at the situation I feel great. I don't have to talk to him anymore, I feel liberated and free!

Peace Luv n Chad

~casual4