Me: I'm back!
Toothless: (tries to climb out window)
Me: (Grabs toothless by tail.) Just where do you think you're going?
Toothless: Away from you! You're going to emotionally scar me again!
Me: No I won't (crosses fingers behind back)
Toothless: Hmm… I don't trust you but fine…
Hiccup: She owns nothing. DreamWorks and Cressida Cowell own the dragons and characters.
Me: Except for the baby!
Hiccup: Except for the baby…
Me: ENJOY!!
9 months of hell and back
Crickets chirped in the cool night air, star's decorated the black fabric that was the sky, swirling into shapes and angles and everything of the sort. Moonlight shrouded the haddock house in light.
Astrid sighed as she stared of the window and towards the moon. "How could this have happened?"
"Well Astrid. When a man has these certain feelings for a woman a powerful urge comes over him and-"
Ruffnut was cut off when a pillow slammed into her head.
"I know how it happened thank you very much! I just can't believe it…"
"Well you both were pretty loud that night I mean Tuffnut sleeps like a rock in a closed up cave but you guys woke him up! That's pretty impressive!"
Astrid gave her friend a dirty look, "hey I'm just saying anyone that could make that much noise should have at least expected it!"
Astrid rubbed at her temples "oh god what am I going to do?"
"Or what's Hiccup going to do?"
The blond gave Ruffnut the meanest look she could muster; Ruffnut threw her hands up in surrender "sorry. Sorry."
Suddenly the door clicked open and Hiccup slipped in kicking his foot in protest "dang it Flounder I told you to stay home! Jeez Gobber's gotta stop spoiling you, Toothless help me out here!" Hiccup stumbled, more like hopped, into the room on his good foot while on his fake one a tiny terrible terror was screeching in fear at the large nightfury that was snapping it's jaws at it.
"Toothless you can't bight him!"
Seeing her husbands distress Astrid walked over and plucked the tiny terror off of his leg "Ruff when you leave can you take Flounder with you?"
The female twin nodded before standing up and taking the terror "sure I gotta go now anyway. See ya later guys!" Astrid saw her to the door "tell him now!" Ruff mouthed before smiling and walking away.
Astrid silently closed the door. Two arms wrapped themselves around her waist and a pair of lips kissed her cheek "hi Astrid." She smiled at her husband before turning around in his arms and kissing him firmly on the lips. "Hi honey." She said when she pulled away.
He lightly touched his forehead to hers "so what were you and Ruffnut talking about?"
She blushed bright pink. "Umm. Nothing just a little girl talk, don't worry about it!" She said capturing his lips in a heated kiss. She twirled her fingers through his fur vest before walking towards the stairs. She winked from the bottom step "I'll see you upstairs."
When they met on the top step they stumbled through their bedroom door and onto their bed. Astrid giggled before something blue whizzed past them. They both sat up and stared at the deadly nadder that was standing by their bed.
"ARROW GET OUT NOW!!"
The next morning Astrid woke up to find no one sleeping next to her "Hiccup?" She asked confused. "Hiccup?" She asked again, only louder.
"I'm down here honey! Breakfast is ready!"
She smiled. Just as she made it to the bottom step her stomach churned and it rushed into her throat. "Honey are you okay?" Hiccup asked holding a large empty pot. Astrid snatched the pot out of his hands and emptied her stomach into the pot.
Hiccup gagged slightly "okay that's new…"
She smiled sheepishly "sorry. I'll just-" she didn't get to finish before she was cut off by her stomach emptying itself into the pot once more. She gasped for breath when she was done "throw this outside."
The day went on like any other, Hiccup left to teach the village children how to ride a dragon (right now they were just learning how to get on and off them without falling.) Astrid took the day off from training to visit Ruffnut.
The twin took one look at Astrid's green face before shoving a bottle into her hand "it helps with the morning sickness."
Astrid smiled before plopping down on the chair across from her friend "so where's Tuffnut?" The twin laughed "out with your husband. The lucky man himself!" She smiled "so how'd he take it?"
Astrid bit her lip "he… Doesn't know."
Ruffnut stood up from her chair "WHY NOT? DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO TELL HIM!?"
"I'm sorry Ruff! I tried but I chickened out! Oh I'm an idiot!"
Ruff sighed "no your not. Just tell him tonight. There's nothing to be afraid of."
Astrid nodded "I'll tell him after dinner."
Hiccup smiled at the tired children "good job kids! Okay come on let's get to the dining hall." The tired children suddenly became the most energetic kids as they ran towards the dining hall. Ruffnut and Tuffnut's youngest sister, Valhera, tugged on his sleeve "what's the matter Valhera?"
"Can you hold my hand?"
He smiled before taking her hand "sure."
When they got to the dining hall Valhera released her death grip on Hiccup's hand and ran towards her mother and father.
After his plate had been made Hiccup sat next to his wife. Who was deep in conversation with Ruffnut, who was talking and trying to keep her brother away from her food.
"Get your own!"
"There's none left!"
"You snooze you loose!"
Astrid rolled her eyes at them before smiling at her husband. "Can you guys stop fighting for a minute?" He asked jokingly.
"Nope!" They both answered still fighting. "At least they're honest!" Astrid said.
Suddenly she cast her eyes to the plate of pig she was recently stuffing her face with, stupid hunger issues, "speaking of honest. Hiccup I gotta tell you something."
"Hey Astrid if you're not gonna eat this I'm taking it…" Tuffnut taunted slowly reaching for her plate. With a single, terrifying movement Astrid snatched up her fork lifted it up and slammed it into Tuffnut's hand. "BITCH THAT HURT! WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"MINE!" She screeched like a deranged bird.
"DUDE YOU COULD HAVE JUST FUCKING SAID NO!"
Suddenly she broke down into tears "what now?" He asked annoyed. "You're YELLING AT ME!!" She sobbed into her husbands shoulder "okay…" Hiccup said beyond confused.
"Astrid what's wrong?"
She continued sobbing "okay I'll take you home." He helped her stand and led her out of the dining hall.
"You know if I didn't know any better I'd say you were pregnant…"
Astrid looked him in the eye and smiled sheepishly. That one look said everything.
"Oh my god." He smiled in an unbelieving expression "oh my gods! Oh my gods! You are! You're pregnant!" She smiled sheepishly again "yeah. I'm pregnant."
"Oh my gods that's great! I'm so happy!" He threw her hands around her "Oh gods… Astrid you're. You've just made me the happiest man alive…"
(One month later)
More like the most miserable. Day in and day out Hiccup hobbled to and fro on his prosthetic leg carrying out his wife's never ending orders. He groaned as she ordered him to get more ham and fish.
He sighed as he trudged to the market. He loved Astrid with all his heart but her hormonal imbalance was scary.
Yesterday was a perfect example.
Astrid was standing in the living room of the Thorston house. "So why are you here again?" Tuffnut asked as he handed Astrid and Hiccup glass's of wine for Hiccup, and cider for Astrid.
"Because Ruffnut has something for Astrid."
"And you can't just go to the arena because?"
"Astrid's been banned from there until after she's given birth."
"I'm scared to ask this but why?"
Hiccup sighed before whispering into his friend's ear. "She did that? With a hammer?" He nodded "over his head?" Hiccup nodded again "then with an ax?" He nodded again "his you know what?" He nodded.
"Wow that's why I was scared to ask but WOW! GIRL YOU IS GOOD!" Hiccup elbowed him "don't encourage her!"
Tuffnut laughed "sorry man, but really that's shocking and good at the same time!"
Suddenly Astrid put a hand over her growing baby bump. "Tuffnut am I fat?"
The twin scoffed "why ask me Hiccup's your husband."
"I always get his opinion what's yours?"
Tuffnut sighed, his sister warned him that if you called a woman thin when she was pregnant she would freak out and worry about the baby. "Yeah!" He said awkwardly "you're huge! Bigger than Snotlout's nightmare!"
Hiccup gulped "Tuff…" He coughed "what?"
"You're dead…"
There were flames in Astrid's eyes "WHAT?!"
Tuffnut was out cold for days. She had done to him what she had done to Snotlout. Swung her hammer across his head then with his ax she nearly chopped off his thingy luckily Tuffnut dodged just in time.
Tuff fell back unconscious after that and Hiccup did his best to restrain her from doing anything to his poor unconscious body.
Hiccup shuddered.
He hoped that would never happen again…
(The next morning)
Astrid rubbed her baby bump before walking over to the stables where she and Hiccup kept Arrow and Toothless. She called to the two dragons before opening the lid on the basket holding their breakfast "come and get it!!" She stepped out of the way as the two dragons pounced onto the food "oh who's a good dragon?" She cooed to the overly excited reptiles. The nadder and nightfury rubbed their heads against her hands and purred loudly. "Oh that's so sweet of you!" She said petting them both on the heads.
Toothless and Arrow sniffed at her stomach. With wide and curious eyes they looked up at her face and titled their heads as if asking what's this?
She smiled before looking at both of them "well you see one night Hiccup and I…"
That night when Hiccup came home from dragon training he found both Arrow and Toothless in the corner of the room huddled together for dear life.
"What did you do?"
She winked at him "just a little birds and the bees chat."
Hiccup groaned, annoyed "I'll go un-shock them…"
(Two birds one stone!) * Err… Dragons… *
(Month 2)
"HICCUP I ASKED FOR PICKLES NOT ORANGES HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET A PICKLE MIXED UP WITH AN ORANGE!?"
"I'm sorry! They were out of pickles at the market!"
"SO YOU BROUGHT HOME ORANGES?!"
"You love oranges!"
"BUT I ASKED FOR PICKLES!!"
Hiccup fell into the splits to dodge a flying ax. Which hit the wall behind him with an echoing thwack.
"Are you crazy?!"
"JUST A LITTLE BIT!!"
Arrow bravely nudged his owner away from the tiny Viking while Toothless picked his friend off the floor.
There was a knock at the door "come in!"
Fishleggs walked into the room with a basket secured firmly on his back "sorry it took so long Hiccup. We just got the harvest in." The red head smiled before taking the basket from his friend. "Sorry I made you do this Fishleggs. Astrid's been craving these all month."
The chubby Viking brushed it off "it's alright. Really I don't mind. Besides I would hate for you to come to dragon training with two more missing limbs."
Hiccup smiled "thanks buddy."
With that Fishleggs left. "Astrid!" He called "Fishleggs came by and got you some pickles!"
There was a thunder of footsteps and suddenly a bright yellow blur tackled him to the ground "ohh thank you honey I love you!"
"I know I know. You're welcome." He smiled sheepishly before kissing her on the lips. "You know what would go well with these pickles?" She asked getting up and taking one from the basket "some salt, this fish and some onion!"
Hiccup gagged. "That sounds… Great." She smiled "want to eat some with me?" She asked holding up a large butcher knife "what are you going to do with that?" He asked scared out of his wits.
She grabbed a fish from a basket in the corner, placed it on the counter and chopped off its head "just that. Why?"
He sighed in relief "no reason."
She raised an eyebrow "oh well. Do you want some?"
He quickly shook his head "no thanks honey. You go ahead!"
She pouted "you don't want to eat with me?"
He shook his head again "no I do I'm just not in the mood for salted pickles, fish, and onions…" Astrid sighed "you're right."
Suddenly she perked up "it needs orange!"
So while she scampered off to find an orange Hiccup slowly walked up the stairs and disappeared.
(Month 3)
Astrid laid in bed one night, Hiccup snoring lightly at her side his arm draped over her in a protective manner. She couldn't fall asleep. So she lay there wide-awake staring at the ceiling above her.
Lucas? Zorina? Sneeze? She turned to the side and looked at her husband, a small smirk creeping up on her lips Hiccup Jr.?
She had been at this for an hour. Deciding baby names was something she and Hiccup had thought would be the easiest part of parenting, but now as she lay there in bed every second that dragged by seemed to a drag a new name to her.
Tania? Aldiraz? She looked at her husband again. She smiled Valhallarama?
She smiled, the name was nice, but it just didn't speak to her. She shook her head, she'd talk to Hiccup about it in the morning.
"If you aren't going to sleep anytime soon could you at least stop moving around so much.
She jumped slightly "I didn't know you were up."
Hiccup yawned before grinning his famous lopsided grin. The very one that made Astrid fall head over heels for him. "Well you're moving around so much that I couldn't sleep."
She kissed his nose slightly "sorry."
"It's okay. What are you thinking about? Maybe I can help you?"
"What should we name our baby?" She asked her arms finding there way around his waist.
He yawned again "Mary? Alvin? Coral? I'o? Ariel?" Astrid raised her eyebrow "you've put some thought into this haven't you?"
He smiled "maybe…"
She pushed him playfully on the shoulder "and don't tell me? I hate you!" Hiccup pouted playfully "I'm hurt."
"ohh you poor baby." Astrid said "do I need to kiss it and make it better?"
He smiled as his wife climbed on top of him "and maybe a few other things too…"
She smirked "maybe I do…"
(At the Thorston house)
Tuffnut shot up in bed. "What the fuck?" He looked out his window towards the haddock house and groaned before burying his face into his pillow "SHUT UP!" Ruffnut laughed from the bottom bunk "you go girl!"
"Don't encourage her!"
"Shut up it's not like she can hear me!"
"Who can with the noise they're making?"
"Doofus they're in love!"
"And loud!"
"They're fully grown adults they can handle themselves!"
"They're 19!"
"Well by my standards that's an adult age!"
"Then why are you still here your ancient compared to them!"
"I'm your twin idiot!"
"Meaning?"
"If I'm ancient you're ancient!"
And so their argument raged on until Thorn (the head Tuffnut rode) and Orange (the head Ruffnut rode) stuck their heads in the window and nearly started an explosion in their room.
"Okay, okay we'll stop!"
(Month 5)
Astrid groaned as she emptied her breakfast into a large cauldron in the backyard. It was official, she thought as she walked back into the house.
Being pregnant sucked dragon dung. Astrid didn't mean that a bit, she loved the young child growing inside her, but the constant aches and pains in her back, morning sickness was always a pain, the constant cravings for pickles dipped in salt and covered in onions, her stupid hormones were as unstable as Snotlout's nightmare during thunderstorms which was ironic because Snot had named her "Thunderclap" and when she slept on her back she found it hard to get back up.
Not to mention that her baby loved to kick her every second every hour of the damn day!
She groaned as the said child pushed against her skin "oh you better come out soon…"
"Hey, hey, hey!" Ruffnuts loud voice called from the now open front door.
Astrid rolled her eyes "ever heard of knocking?"
Ruffnut put on a confused face "kn-ock-ing? Never heard of it!" The twin bounced into the living room and plopped onto a chair. "So how do you feel?" She asked as Astrid sat across from her "like crap." Astrid answered rubbing her swelling skin.
Ruff laughed "I know, but hey you're pregnant. Oh course you feel like crap, but when you see your baby for the first time it'll all be worth it."
Astrid sighed "I hope so Ruffnut…"
"Trust me everything will work out, I'm sure of it. Are you hungry? That's a stupid question what would you like?"
Astrid smiled "I really want Pickles covered in salt and orange."
Ruff grimaced "I'm not gonna lie to you. That's gross."
(Month 7)
Astrid lay on the couch with her deadly nadder standing over her protectively. Suddenly the area between her legs became wet and sticky. "What the?" Her water couldn't have broken already. When she looked down she saw blood, not water, leaking from her thighs.
The pain in her abdomen suddenly became visible to her. She screamed before clamping a hand over her swollen stomach. "Hiccup! Hiccup help me!!"
The haddock boy flew down the stairs at his wife's terrified screams. "Astrid! Astrid what's wrong?" He took one look at his bleeding wife before running to her side. "What's happened?"
She was panting nonstop "get * pant * healer * pant * now * pant * PLEASE!"
"Alright…." With that he rushed out of the house.
Hiccup could be seen running through the village of Berk his metal leg throbbed in ungodly pain but still he pressed forward. He pounded on the door of the village medicine woman. "ANNA! ANNA PLEASE YOU HAVE TO HELP ASTRID!!"
A woman with long brown hair stood in the door holding a basket of herbs "what's wrong Hiccup?"
The small Viking pulled her along "Astrid. Labor. To early. You have to help!"
Anna's eyes went wide before she rushed back into her house and came out with a large basket filled to the brim with bandages, cloths, and a single water satchel. "Take me to her…"
Running quickly the two-made record time to get to the haddock house. Anna bounded up the steps after Hiccup and burst into their bedroom where Astrid lay on their bed breathing heavily and sweating from head to toe.
The agonizing pain that ripped her insides apart was nearly too much for her to bear. She gripped her husbands offered hand and squeezed it tightly. She grunted as a contraction hit her.
"Anna what's going on?"
The healer looked at the haddock son before shaking her head "premature birth. We can only pray for the best. For your child and your wife."
Astrid let out a sob mixed with both pain and fear. Doing his best to keep his tears in Hiccup gripped her hand tighter "the baby's gonna make it Astrid. I promise…"
But inside Hiccup was sending every prayer to the gods for the life of his child.
Please Odin I will give anything if you let our child live. Please born him or her blind, deaf, lame, or smaller than I was just let him or her live! Please!
The night dragged on and Astrid was screaming louder and louder as the pain in her womanhood grew as she forced out her baby. She had used every curse word ever imagined and some Hiccup had never even heard in his life (and with Stoic as his father Hiccup knew quite a bit of swear words) she had cursed out her husband threatening to chop his, you know what, off with her ax when this was over and she had cried three rivers and a brook from the pain.
"Hiccup. If I don't. Ahh! Make it. Please-"
"Don't talk that way! You'll make it!"
"Hiccup I might not."
"No! You and our baby are both going to make it out of this, we're both going to hold him or her, we're both going to stare into his or her face when she opens her eyes for the first time, we're both going to watch our child grow we're both going to be there if it's a guy and I teach him how to fish, you're going to be there if it's a girl and she starts bringing guys home and I attempt to kill them because he thinks he's good enough for our daughter. Astrid you're going to be there!"
Touched by her husband's words she was suddenly filled with a new hope. I will make this won't I?
Another hour passed and still the baby refused to emerge. "The child is stubborn. We must pray strongly now."
Three hours passed and finally the baby's head emerged. "At last the child reveals itself! Come now little one! Come to the healer!"
The hour dragged for Astrid as she pushed out her stubborn child. Finally the child escaped her and slipped into Anna's welcoming hands.
The child refused to cry.
Anna quickly grabbed a piece of cloth and cleaned the child before staring at it. "The child cannot breath! Come child please! For your mother and father breath the air of our land!" Anna grabbed a handful of herbs and waved them under the child's nose "the scent shall clear your airways child please breath!"
Helpless and desperate she grabbed the child and with a raised hand she yelled "do as your elders say!" And brought her hand upon the child's backside.
The baby hiccupped once before letting out ear piercing screams.
Hiccup gathered his tiny child into his arms and showed it to his wife. "It's a girl. It's a baby girl."
Astrid took her daughter from her husband and tiredly gave a look of thanks to Anna "that's it. Hiccup." He looked at his wife in acknowledgement. "That's her name. Anna. Anna Zorania Horrendous Haddock."
Hiccup smiled "I love it."
Meanwhile Anna beamed with pride before rushing out of the house screaming with joy.
"THE CHILD LIVES! THE CHILD OF THE CHIEF LIVES!"
Despite being born two months early Anna was now a happy and healthy three-year-old girl. Although she was a bit on the scrawny side she could still hold her own.
Her parents spoiled her rotten and treated her like a priceless antique from a far away land.
But there was one bad thing about Anna.
She was beyond naughty.
Such as right now for instance!
She's taken her mothers shoes and is now tossing them into the dung pile Toothless left for his loving owner. "Shoey now gooey!" She said before toddling away.
That night when Astrid came home she found it strange how all her shoes were missing. She searched for a good half hour before she noticed her daughter toddling around in the backyard. "Anna! Get back in here now!" Her daughter squealed for no reason before pointing to the large pile of dragon dung.
Astrid sighed "did your father forget to pick up after his dragon again? God. Wait a minute. What the?" Anna squealed as her mother stared at her ruined shoes.
"Anna what did?"
"Shoey gooey!"
Astrid's face was not red with annoyance.
"ANNA!!"
I know the endings a bit weak but I just used all my energy with the birth scene. Yes this is my longest story ever and I am so happy with the way it came out! I know it seemed like it would be a humor story but I needed a reason to why they named their daughter Anna and me being me just had to make it dramatic.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ALL THINK I LOVE THIS STORY! I OWN NOTHING ALL RIGHTS GO TO CRESSIDA COWELL AND DREAMWORKS!