A/N Ummm... I don´t remember the episode title. But Fringe-Fans as you all are, you´ll know better than me... German TV would have destroyed it, anyway. So definitively Post- "this special episode", but no spoilers, so don´t worry.
Oh, yeah, that stuff. Nope, I still don´t own Fringe, so... No copyrightinFringement intended...
P.S. The episode I`m looking for ends in Liv leaving the lab and Walter asking Peter "She´s beautiful, isn´t she?", Peter responding "Who?" And Walter looking at his lab table: "The slug, of course!" Or what kind of crazy animal was it that time?
Elevated State
She walks as if the ground was covered with eggs and she doesn´t want to break them.
"Walking" actually doesn´t cover her means of locomotion – maybe Rachel would have called it "floating", but she always had been the better one to find poetic – and sometimes even pathetic – terms.
Even so, Olivia moves carefully, cautiously, wherever she goes.
She´s not even sure why – all she knows is that she suddenly is afraid she might break something while walking. For what she actually is afraid is a puzzle, too – is there something on the ground she doesn´t want to hurt or is it just that she doesn´t want to get hurt?
But a tiny little part of her knows: She´s afraid for herself.
She fears she might slip, or even fall, and hurt herself in the process. She fears she might break her bones because she overlooks a stair and falls down or she might be run over while crossing the street. Something might happen any moment and it might hurt her badly if she isn´t careful enough.
Humans are such fragile beings.
Even the lightest touch can hurt them, injure them badly. In her job, death – or at least injury – is a constant companion and she shudders when thinking about it. She might be hurt anytime these days. She might die any day soon.
She doesn´t want to think about why she suddenly is caring for herself – valuing herself – that much suddenly.
But there is no other choice than to face the truth. She has to when she returns home and suddenly gets the feeling someone is watching her from the shadows of the street outside. She pulls the curtains closed quickly and hides behind the back of her sofa, knowing there was only one person on earth she wants to be with her right now. And, incidentally, he is the one who made her feel this vulnerable in first place. I care for you – his words reverberate in her mind, carrying all the things he didn´t say with them: Take care of yourself. Watch out. Be careful. Don´t get hurt.
Her entire being cannot help but respond in this way: I`ll be careful. I´ll watch out for me. Why is it suddenly so important? Because there is someone else who cares for me.
That´s why she stays on her sofa for the rest of the evening. Eventually she switches on the TV and watches some re-runs absentmindedly, until she finally falls asleep, not bothering to get into her bed at all.
This feeling of vulnerability - it scares her and makes her strangely happy, both at the same time.
It lasts for a few days, maybe a week.
She returns to normal, slowly, almost unwillingly. But reality doesn´t wait for her and she has to catch up with it. Even if that means throwing herself in the line of fire again and again.
But the memory lasts.
I care for you.
I bet you´ll know what episode I referred to, right? Maybe one of you can tell me, I would love to know. Thanks anyway for reading!