For Mirandy Week Day 2 Jealousy. Thanks yet again to Crazybecat and Roseyruewritessometimes22 for the beta. They make sense out of the sentences where I skip like every other word sometimes because my brain is just strange.
Miranda was a very passionate woman, not that the media was aware of that. They thought her the veritable Ice Queen, unfeeling and ruthless. It was not in her interest to disabuse them of this notion, and so she didn't. Ruthless and tyrannical were not the hindrances they might be in any other profession but the strange intersectionality between business, publishing, and fashion she occupied. Such things scared her employees into doing that much more work for her, pressured them into going above and beyond and also allowed her to be completely free with firing those that didn't. Her employees knew she had a temper, of course, but they thought it icy fire. It was not. What it was, was very hot, very volatile, and prone to the slightest trigger, but no one took a person like that seriously and so she had taken control of it from an early age and used her anger to her advantage. She would not lose that advantage.
She especially wouldn't lose that advantage over jealousy and certainly not over one Andrea Sachs. She kept telling herself that, but it was obvious that some part of her brain was not hearing her because the urge to walk over to the girl, rip the stupid spoon from between her lips, and replace it with her own mouth would not go away. It would not be professional. It would not be acceptable. Therefore she would not do it.
And yet she couldn't stop staring. God damn spoon getting to touch her lips. They looked soft, always well moisturized now that the girl wore lipstick most every day. Not that she needed it. Her lips were plump and a pleasant shade of pink all her own. She knew more than a few models who would kill for such lips.
Miranda took a deep breath. She would stop thinking about this. She had managed it now for weeks so far and that would not change. The girl was her employee and nothing more.
Except she was, Miranda was figuring out. Amazing that the smart, fat girl from Cincinnati, Ohio had managed to break past barriers that Miranda had erected before the girl was even born. But then again Andrea seemed to take any and all challenges Miranda threw her way and not only accomplish them above and beyond what Miranda had expected, but did it with an unfailing smile. She shouldn't be too terribly surprised that this was just another thing that the girl had surmounted.
But that didn't matter. Couldn't matter. She was Miranda Priestly and couldn't have a relationship with someone much younger than her, who had been her former assistant and was most assuredly female. The press would rip her to shreds and that thought hurt her almost as much as the thought of the press having their wicked way with her girls. Beside the point, Andrea was straight. Her relationship with that scruffy cook boy more than proved it. Why would you fall for something like that otherwise? Then again, she could ask the same thing of herself, she supposed. At least for herself being with men was easier in the public light. Not that long ago she hadn't had some trysts with the fairer sex, but those had stopped when the media had latched onto her like a dog and wouldn't let go.
No, she wouldn't do that to the girl. She knew the press and how horrible they could be. A girl from the Midwest wouldn't stand a chance. She was too raw yet, hardened by city some, but she was still…wholly Andrea and that meant she was still a girl who cried over failure and trembled at Miranda's worst tirades. Even if Miranda would gladly endure the media circus for her, it didn't matter.
So, why exactly was she still ruminating on the subject? She cursed herself for her lack of focus and went back to the photographs before her. Choosing the cover of Runway was an art form. It set the tone for the whole issue. It was a task that deserved her whole attention. She put Andrea, and jealousy over spoons, to the side and stared straight ahead, but still could only see Andrea's mouth wrapping around the eating utensil. She groaned inwardly, it was going to be an exceptionally long day.
Andy was a calm and rational woman. She thought jealousy was the pettiest, stupidest emotion there was. If there was trust, there was no real jealousy, at least anything less fleeting than an instant. She was human after all and she realized that. Therefore jealousy over an inanimate object should not even be a consideration on her radar. And yet it was. She swallowed hard and typed a bit harder on her computer than necessary. Emily glared over at her and rolled her eyes. Andy ignored her as she always did.
The fact was she really couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that Miranda was trailing her glasses along her bottom lip. Again. As she seemed to every day when she was concentrating. It drove Andy to the point of insanity. She wanted to stomp in Miranda's office, throw those glasses away and replace them with her lips and proceed to kiss Miranda senseless. She was sure her lips would be so soft; god knew how many moisturizers Miranda had at home for her skin. And she was sure she would smell just as good. Andy groaned silently. She really shouldn't taunt herself with things she couldn't have.
Because, let's face it, Andy wasn't anywhere in Miranda Priestly's league. And Miranda wouldn't want to be dragged through the press just for a relationship with a girl from Ohio. And Miranda was straight. She had two ex-husbands to prove it. And if she wasn't straight then why even end up with Stephen if there was another option. She shivered. Nate, as bad as he had been as the end, hadn't even been a fraction of what Stephen had.
She answered another email, praying that the words she typed made sense. If it didn't well, at least she could say later that she'd been hurrying because of something Miranda demanded. It always worked as an excuse. Everyone in the industry realized how demanding Miranda was as a boss.
Andy wondered if Miranda was as demanding in bed. She blushed brightly and immediately backed away from the thought. That was even worse than being jealous over glasses. She really just had to stop thinking right now. Really, she did. And she had to stop staring because eventually no matter how subtle she thought she was being Miranda would notice eventually, but she couldn't just bring herself to rip her eyes away from the other woman and those stupid glasses.
A throat cleared beside her and she jumped and turned in one fluid motion. Nigel stood beside her with a smirk painted on his face.
"Like the view, Six?" He teased.
She blushed furiously no matter how hard she was trying not to. "I was just spaced out, Nigel, not staring or anything."
Nigel shot her a disbelieving look. "Uh huh." He shook his head. "Anyway, here's the proofs she wanted and tell her I'll give her a full report about the meeting with Testino when I get back."
Andy nodded. "Ok." She took the folder of proofs from him.
With another long, knowing look at her, Nigel shook his head before he walked out the door, coat in hand. Sufficiently chastened, Andy managed to walk into Miranda's office and put down the folder Nigel had given her without really even looking at Miranda. She was sure if she looked she would get caught in bright blue eyes and then she would be doomed.
Miranda shifted just slightly, drawing Andy's eyes up. She managed to stop herself before she got past calf level, freezing for a long moment just staring at shapely muscles. She managed to shake herself quickly and scurried back to her desk. It really was going to be a long, long day of not staring. She groaned quietly and set to answering another email.
Miranda walked into the outer office, stripped off her coat and threw it on Emily's desk. Andrea turned around and looked at the noise Miranda's heels made on the tile floor. She swallowed visibly and Miranda instantly wanted to worship that long column of pale skin with her mouth. She shook herself and started her normal firing off of orders.
Emily scurried after her into her office to catch every single quiet word that Miranda said. She walked around her desk and perused the magazines laid out in perfect fashion and the cup of Starbucks that was already waiting for her. She picked it up and enjoyed the heat of it warming her hand. Perfect temperature as always. Andrea never did cease to amaze.
She glanced out to the girl who was now bent over her desk to grab something. Her words petered off as she took in the sight. My god it was unfair for a girl to have such a luscious figure. She felt Emily staring at her waiting for Miranda to go on or dismiss her. Miranda turned her eyes on the girl and glared hard enough that it was obvious that she needed to leave the office right this instant. Honestly, did the girl have no sense of critical thinking?
Miranda watched as Andrea sat back in her seat, the thing she needed to get acquired. She sighed at the loss, envious of the chair that now held the girl's delicious backside. What she wouldn't give to have Andrea sitting on her instead. She shook herself. What kind of absolutely lecherous thought was that? She was not some grimy old businessman. She was above that. But god Andrea drove her to madness sometimes. So the odd thought wasn't so surprising.
She sat down and tried to focus on her work. They had another photo shoot that went wrong and she was required to fix it once again. She needed to concentrate on that. The next issue could not go to print with four blank pages. She would not allow that to happen.
But her eyes kept drifting up to Andrea. And glaring at the chair that the girl was sitting in. And thinking about a great many things that were not appropriate for work. Ever. She really had to stop staring. No matter how oblivious the girl could be at some points when she was working she would notice Miranda staring eventually. The last thing she wanted was a suit from human resources about sexual harassment. If Andrea was brave enough to file one, that was, but really losing her best assistant because she couldn't control herself was ridiculous.
Miranda sighed, looked down again, and went over photograph after photograph trying to find something, anything at all, that was usable. But then there weren't enough photos now that she could actually do the spread no matter how they worked it. She shoved them aside and called for Emily again. Another rapid fire round of orders and the ball was set rolling to schedule another shoot. They would be pushing it, but they would get it done.
And finally, with the amount of work that was now on her plate, Miranda forgot about chair and Andrea's firm assets and finally managed to actually concentrate for once. Miranda massaged her temples as a headache started to form. It was going to be a very long day.
Andy stared at the very, very toned butt in front of her. And she was again supremely jealous of an inanimate object because the pencil skirt Miranda was wearing not only got to touch Miranda's butt, but it got to touch it very, very intimately. It should be a sin how tight it was, how tight most of Miranda's skirts were really. The woman knew she had a fantastic body and dressed to show it, much to Andy's torment.
She sighed and glared a hole into her desk. She thought it would get better with a long weekend away from Miranda between the actual weekend and the two days Miranda had spent on sight at the reshoot of the winter coats layout. Of course it hadn't. If anything Andy's tolerance had waned and now she was more prone to staring than she had been before. She wanted to look her fill to make up for all she missed.
She groaned silently as Miranda stepped back just a half a step. She could see the muscles flexing under the fabric in front of her. Dear god above with a skirt that tight in order to avoid panty lines Miranda had to be wearing a thong or nothing at all. Andy went bright red and had to clench her legs together to stop a bolt of arousal from flowing through her. She had to get ahold of herself. Miranda had just walked in the door ten minutes ago. She had at least eight hours left on her work day. She couldn't be squirming in her chair this early or Miranda would surely notice. And she would totally ruin what she had on and really, she didn't want to have to explain to Nigel why in the world she couldn't return the pants she was wearing.
Miranda took another step back and there was nowhere that Andy could look on her desk without seeing Miranda's ass from her peripheral vision. Which meant that as soon as she saw it on the periphery she was staring again. God she hoped Emily didn't look up from her obsessive note taking to see Andy staring right at Miranda in a very inappropriate place. The last thing she wanted was to get fired because of a sexual harassment charge. The ache that started in her chest at the thought of being fired took her breath away. She'd never see Miranda again. She didn't know if she could stand that.
She took a deep breath and managed to look away. It was a nice view, but not nice enough to get fired for it. She liked being around Miranda more than she liked staring at attractive pieces of Miranda. She sighed and went back to arranging appointments for next week for Miranda. Scheduling for her was always an art. Some people called later for appointments but were important enough to skip the line and some called weeks and weeks ago but kept getting pushed back. Then she had to balance everything to give Miranda enough time to work, which was almost impossible, but she managed.
Eventually Miranda finally walked away from ordering Emily around. Andy sighed in relief and sat back. She could resist with the best of them, but not having the temptation was better. Emily attacked her with a list of things for her to do a minute later and she was gone in the swirl of the day, working with no time to give into rather interesting desires.
Miranda frowned out at the outer office. Andrea was sitting at her desk with Serena standing beside her, chatting amiably with the girl. Standing over the girl like that Miranda just knew that Serena had a very, very clear view down Andrea's shirt. Really, with the few inches she had on Andrea she could probably see down the girl's shirt rather easily even without hovering over her. Miranda was envious of that extra height. Even with five inch heels she was not taller than Andrea even when she wore relatively low three inch heels. She was sure the view would be delicious.
She shook herself. More and more frequently in the last few weeks she was having to remind herself that she did not have those sort of thoughts. They were more suited to Irv Ravitz than herself and the day that she accepted that she thought in any way, shape, or form like that rat of a man was the day she stepped in front of a bus. But it was getting harder and harder for her to refrain from staring when she could feel Andrea's eyes on her more and more as of late. Catching the girl glancing hurriedly away from her with a blush high on her cheeks made that little bead of hope that she lived on swell inside her. Could perhaps the girl be interested in her as well?
Miranda sighed and turned so she was facing the windows. She was deluding herself, surely. She repeated the litany of reasons that Andrea would never be interested in her, but all it took was one look that was longer than socially acceptable between boss and employee for Miranda's brain to shut out all those reasons and it wouldn't see reason again for hours on end.
The truth of the matter was Andrea would leave like every other assistant before her and then Miranda would be alone again, at least romantically. The twins could do so very much for her and they made her happier than anyone else in the world, but there was still the part of her that wanted to be loved as a partner, an equal to someone, and being a mother did not fulfill those wants, as much as she wished it did most days.
She heard the clicking of heels as Serena and Emily went off to lunch together, laughing loudly as was their norm. God only knew what sort of office gossip they filled their free time with. She couldn't be concerned with such things unless it affected the running of her magazine and, most often it didn't. With the two of them gone it left her alone in the office with Andrea. Miranda gripped the arms of her chair. That should not be a thought that sent butterflies scuttling around her stomach. They had work to do, they had no time for foolishness. A magazine would not run itself and she would be damned if she let the magazine slip in quality on her watch. There was a reason it was the number one fashion magazine in the world, and that was her own iron will.
So why in the world was a girl from Ohio weakening that resolve. Why did she want to get out of her seat, walk to Andrea's desk and stand where Serena had just been and talk to the other girl while looking her fill. Though, she wasn't exactly sure that she would ever have her fill. It was a rather troubling thought.
The day continued on for a few long minutes. She heard Andrea's every move acutely. Her extremely good hearing had helped her in the past, but right now it was driving her to insanity. She was always hyper aware of Andrea. She wondered idly if she should take Emily to the preview she had later today instead of Andrea just so she could concentrate, but then immediately dismissed the thought. She would focus even less if Andrea wasn't there. She would just spend the whole time thinking of what the other woman could be doing.
She massaged her temples. She truly did have it bad if she was reduced to being as bad as a lovesick teenager. Honestly, she couldn't remember ever being this bad even years ago when she had been a teenager and hormonally crazed. God, when the twins hit that age she was going to have her hands full.
Emily returned exactly twenty minutes later and dismissed Andrea for her short lunch. She heard Andrea's heels clicking and then the hiss of the door as it closed behind her. Only then did Miranda allow herself to turn and get back to work again. Once the glaring errors in the layout captured her attention she relaxed into her seat with an evil little smile on her face. Someone was about to have just as bad a time as she was.
Andy swallowed hard once, then again. Her mouth and throat still felt like a desert. Miranda's shirt was unbuttoned one more than usual today and it was giving Andy the most teasing glimpse of cleavage that ever existed. She was dying to see more. Like she was sure she was going to keel over in the next twenty seconds or so from heart palpitations. But what a way to go, staring at Miranda's breasts. It was akin to drowning in chocolate or something else so completely decadent.
She shook herself. She was really letting this crush get out of hand. But then Miranda shifted half an inch and Andy could see just a bare inch more of Miranda's chest and she forgot about the fact that now was when she was supposed to turn away and berate herself for ever objectifying Miranda in such a way. Because she had an infinite amount of respect for the woman, she wouldn't have this giant crush on her if she didn't, but as a bisexual woman sometimes you just had to blatantly ogle the hottest woman in the room. And Miranda was probably the hottest person in the world right now, so really, she should give herself at least some free passes on super hormonal days. Now was one of those times.
She heard the door open and the distinctive gate of Nigel walk into the room. Andy still couldn't rip her gaze from Miranda. She would get that stupid freaking knowing look from the man, but she really didn't care all that much. It was totally worth it today. As long as she didn't get fired, anyway.
"Hey, Six, is she free for ten minutes or so? I need her opinion on this layout before I give the go ahead. I'm torn, I can't figure if I love it or hate it."
"Yeah, she's free for the next hour or so. She's going over shoot location choices for the September issue."
She felt Nigel staring at her. Now she wasn't going to look at him just out of spite. She wasn't in the mood to see that look again. She was in much too good a mood to have it ruined by know it all art department directors.
Eventually she could practically hear Nigel shrug before he walked into Miranda's office and started the discussion on the layout he had in hand. Andy was perfectly content with that development until Nigel walked right up in front of Miranda and blocked the view she had. She almost got out of her chair and physically moved him out of the way, but knew that was taking it way too far.
She sighed heavily and managed to turn back to her computer screen and get back to work, but not without a bit of grumbling in her mind. Nigel was gayer than a rainbow and he wouldn't appreciate the view at all. It was more than a little unfair that it was being wasted on him.
Andy took a deep breath. She really was letting this crush get to her way too much. She needed to chill, maybe get laid or at least work off some of the tension herself, maybe then she would stop staring like some horn dog old man. She ran her hand through her hair and answered the email that had been on her screen for at least thirty minutes. Maybe she would take Lilly up on that offer to set her up on some blind date. At least it might get her mind off of Miranda for a little while if nothing else.
She glanced in the room where Nigel had just shifted a bit so Andy could see just a bit of Miranda. The breath left her for just a second at the way the light from the windows hit Miranda's hair, making the silver-white glow ethereally. Or maybe not. Maybe not ever. And maybe she was more ok with that than she should be, but she really didn't care.
A week later she was in the car again with Miranda riding back from a local shoot in the middle of Central Park. Andy was still shivering after being out in the cold for so long. She wasn't sure how the models did it. Or Miranda for that matter. She'd held the woman's coat earlier in the day and knew it wasn't warm in the slightest with how thin it was. Yet, Miranda was sitting beside her not showing any signs of discomfort at all. Andy had learned the subtle cues that told her Miranda was not completely physically comfortable, but there were none on her face or in her body language at the moment. Maybe she truly was the Dragon Lady and had a heart full of fire that was keeping her warm. Andy almost snorted at the image, but managed to hold it in.
Miranda sighed and sat forward. "Roy, is there any possible way that we could move within the next century?"
Roy glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. "It's gridlocked. If I could get over to one of the side lanes I could maybe take another way around, but every time someone moves the hole closes up in a second. I've been trying, Miranda, believe me, but it's ten times worse than usual."
Andy nodded along with his assessment. It was probably because of holiday traffic that they were trapped at the moment on 59th street. Andy didn't really have a problem with this delay. With nothing really to do she could relax in the car and spend some time with Miranda, even if it was in silence. Miranda, on the other hand, was going to be a bear when they got back because she had to wait when she had better things to do. She prayed for everyone's souls back at the office and sat back for the ride.
Miranda huffed after a few more minutes of inching forward through Manhattan before she settled back against her seat again and put on her glasses and dug out her notes from the shoot to reread, making little notations in the margins where she found them lacking. Andy groaned internally. It should be a crime for attractive women to wear glasses, it made them exponentially hotter and no one could really handle it. She knew she definitely couldn't. Especially now that she was imaging taking those glasses off and kissing Miranda delicately on the mouth and making this little delay worth their while.
She sighed and dug around in her purse. She pulled out her cell phone, checked Miranda's email where there was nothing since Emily was on top of everything since they were out of the office, and then went to play a few games of solitaire. She thought she could walk faster to Elias-Clarke than the car would get them there, but then again the car was warm and it was thirty degrees out and Miranda was here, so it didn't really matter.
When she looked up from her fifth game Miranda had the glasses tracing her bottom lip again. Andy couldn't help it, the words slipped from her mouth. "Stupid god damn glasses." Her eyes widened to dinner plates in a second. Shit. There was no way Miranda hadn't heard that.
Miranda turned to her, looking at her with deep blue eyes, sharp with impatience. "What did you say, Andrea?"
"Um, I said stupid god damn glasses. I was just looking for my sunglasses, but they aren't in my purse. I always seem to be losing them." She shrugged hoping against hope the other woman would buy the excuse.
"Andrea, what is the real reason? You haven't dug in your purse for anything in the last fifteen minutes and even then you withdrew your cell phone, and it is December, sunglasses are hardly needed." She gestured to the outcast sky that was barely light now that evening was approaching.
Andy swallowed. Now that Miranda was hyper alert trying to detect a lie, there was no way that she wouldn't catch Andy if she tried another innocuous fib. She'd seen the woman do it enough times with people she barely even knew, and Miranda knew her better than a great many of the people she did business with. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, throat bobbing visibly. If she was Catholic this was when she'd start saying her Hail Mary's. But she wasn't Catholic, so she just panicked instead.
"I, um, your glasses." She took another deep breath. There wasn't any other way to say this than all in one big rush to get it over with, something like ripping off a Band-Aid. "I may be a little jealous of your glasses when you do that thing where you rub the ear piece along your bottom lip. I kind of want to take them out of your hands and replace them with my lips instead."
Oh here it was, she was going to be fired right then and there and it would be a long cold ride on the subway back to the Lower East Side. Then it would be a cold life after that what with the absence of Miranda in her life and the subsequent blacklisting. She was an absolute fucking idiot who couldn't keep her mouth shut. She would beat herself up for years to come over this moment, she knew. She just hoped Miranda wasn't too horrible, nothing of the Cerulean lecture proportions again. She wanted to snort, if Miranda was on form the Cerulean lecture would have nothing on this.
"Andrea, this is one of the few times I'm going to ask you to elaborate on what you said. Spare me no detail."
Andy wanted to scream. She didn't want to tell Miranda more than she already had, Miranda would just have more ammo to use against her. However, what Miranda asked for Miranda got. "I want to kiss you, Miranda. I really want to do a lot more than that, but I realize that it's completely inappropriate to have feelings for your boss, and you're completely out of my league anyway, but it seems I'm unable to help it, no matter how many times I mentally slap myself. Believe me, I've tried about everything, but…" She shrugged. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, and I really hope you don't fire me because I really do think I'm learning a lot in this job and as hectic as it is I enjoy it, that might just be because you're there, but I guess it doesn't really matter as long as I like being there." She gulped in a breath after saying all that in almost one go.
"Explicitly stated you are romantically attracted to me and wish to pursue a relationship." Miranda blinked slowly.
"Yeah, that's what I just said, though I guess it could have been stated a hundred times better."
Miranda relaxed just the slightest bit. "Oh thank god I don't have to be jealous of a spoon anymore."
But Andy didn't have a chance to question what that odd statement meant before Miranda was dragging her across the seat and crushing their lips together. Andy's world exploded in a shower of sparks and the dark taste of Miranda's lips. They were totally as soft as she had imagined. And when Miranda's tongue sought entrance, she allowed it, only to almost pass out from the feeling a second later. Oh, she hoped that this kiss meant everything she thought it did because she wasn't about to live without this again; she didn't know if she could.
Miranda drew away what felt like seconds later, but Andy saw they'd moved at least three blocks further. She swallowed. She'd never lost that much time in a kiss. Oh holy hell.
"Wow," Andy said for lack of anything better to say.
Miranda smiled genuinely and for the first time in the year and a half that Andy knew her, laughed long and loud. Andy wanted to hear that noise again and again, wanted to be the cause of that laugh, wanted so much. And just maybe, she'd get to have it. Andy grinned back and scooted a bit closer to Miranda.
"Wow, indeed." Miranda wrapped her arm around Andy's shoulders and drew her in for another kiss.
And maybe this was the start of something great. Andy hoped it was.