It's mornings like these where you wish you had just kept your mouth shut. You wish you had never spoken out at that meeting. At the very least, you wish your father would have simply killed you, but, he didn't. He sent you on a quest to find the Avatar, one you were currently questioning as of late.
You dreaded breathing. The simple intake of breath made you sick. It was a constantly reminder of your failure. Your failure of catching the avatar, restoring your honor, making your father proud...deciding right from wrong...
You just couldn't take it anymore.
You felt horribly conflicted. You were the prince of the Fire Nation, damn it! You didn't give a damn about any one. Your only goal in life was to be the greatest.
No, your only goal in life right now was to regain your honor.
Or,
was it to help Uncle Iroh around his tea shop...
Princes don't help...and yet, that's exactly what you were doing...So, what did that make you?
You groaned tiredly as you handed a customer her tea. Princes don't give peasants tea.
Then again, you were not a prince.
You were a fool.
No! Not even that. You were a no body. A nobody with nothing worth living for. Nothing to his name. Nothing than a constant reminder to yourself of how worthless you were. How much of a failure you were.
It took many sleepless nights to lead you to where you were now. Every decision you had made had let you to this moment.
You, former Prince Zuko, were going to kill yourself.
You had it planned so well, too. You had written a note explaining just why you had to do it.
You'd wait until dinner was over when Uncle Iroh would do one of two things; sleep or play pai sho. That's when you would do it. You would head to your room where you kept your swords. One cut across the throat would do it, right?
Didn't matter, you would find out soon enough.
Usually during dinner, your uncle would ask you about your day, maybe poke fun at you for some girl glancing you way. But, not tonight. He had an emotionless look on his face while he ate, occasionally glancing up at you.
You took small bites of your food, looking up a few times as well. The silence was beginning to get to you when Iron set his bowl down.
"You seem troubled, Prince Zuko."
You cringed at the title. Iroh when out of his way to remind you of who you where. Or rather, who you used to be.
"Trouble? What makes you say that?" You shot back. Iroh offered you a smile,
"You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"
"Uh, yes." You reply back, "But, nothing is wrong, uncle." You try to change the topic, but Iroh continues to press on.
"Prince Zuko...this has been troubling you for quite some time, hasn't it."
"I don't know what you're talking about." You glare.
"Zuko, Life is a valuable thing. The honor of it is a great burden, but it is one we learn to enjoy."
"Uncle, you aren't making-" You are about to argue when Iroh holds up his hand.
"I only wish you would tell me one thing."
"What's that?"
"Why?"
Your mouth runs dry and your eyes tear up as the word leaves his mouth.
Why.
"Why?" You repeat slowly.
"Yes, why?" Uncle Iroh's face is back to one of no emotion. However, you can see it in is eyes, the concern, curiosity, even anger.
"Why what?" You try to regain yourself long enough to switch the topic, but that is not what Iroh intends to do.
"Prince Zuko, I am not one for going through others' belongings," He says as he pulls a letter from a pocket on his robe, "But this has caught my attention," he sets it on the table between you, "Would you like to explain it to me?"
You stare between the letter and your uncle. You slowly reach for the paper, unfolding it. There, in your own hand writing, was your reason.
"Uncle, I-" You try to explain, but what's the point? He already knew.
"Zuko, why would you even think to do such a thing?" You close your eyes, letting trapped tears fall. Iroh rises from his seat, kneeling beside you.
"Uncle, I just...I just don't know what to do anymore..." Iroh tugs you into a hug quickly.
"Zuko, even the best of men lose their way...that is no reason to even think about doing such a horrible act."
"I know, uncle..." You hug back, realizing now that it felt that if you let go, you'd fade away.
"...Get some sleep...We will talk about this in the morning..." Iroh slowly gets up, clearing the dishes.
You drag yourself to your room, noticing your swords no longer hid under your bed. You lay down that night, though, sleep was something you would not be doing at all.
Instead, you lay awake, crying softly.
What else were you to do when, over the sound of the rain outside, you can hear uncle Iroh crying too.
A/N: Kind of rushed, but I may or may not have a second chapter.
disclaimers: I own nothing